


Forever Autumn

by Litsetaure



Series: The Soldier and the Healer [3]
Category: Torchwood
Genre: Character Death, Everyone loves weddings!, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I'm so sorry, M/M, Major Illness, STUFF GETS WEIRD, This one got sad, Torchwood stuff, established relationships - Freeform, weddings and funerals
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-11-27
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:25:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 131,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Litsetaure/pseuds/Litsetaure
Summary: Sequel to 'We Could Be Heroes'. Things are finally going well for John and Nick after a lot of trauma for them both. So, why is John suddenly miserable enough to walk away?





	1. Chapter 1

_31_ _ st _ _October 2014, 8:30pm..._

_“For three days, I fought my way along roads packed with refugees, the homeless, burdened with boxes and bundles containing their valuables...”_

The words echoed through John's head as the church clock chimed. Eight-thirty. That gave him half an hour to get to where he needed to be. He wanted to curse himself for spending so long arguing with what was left of his friends and his family.  

But he couldn't. He was just too numb. Even the pain from the grip his sister-in-law had inflicted on his wrist was fading away in the foggy recesses of his mind. Even his thoughts seemed to be slipping away from him – his thoughts and his memories. 

But even then, he just couldn't muster the energy to try and bring them back, even though he knew that the last thing he wanted to do was to forget everything that had happened. He felt as if everything he had ever loved and fought for had suddenly been ripped out from underneath him on that night when Nick had – 

He swayed violently and gripped at the railings as an unexpected pain ripped through his chest like black fire. Of all the memories to come back to him at this moment, why did it have to be the memory of the moment when he had lost the one thing that could have kept him here for as long as was possible? 

He and Nick had both known for some time that, one day, he would have to leave and he had accepted that. It hadn't been easy to come to terms with, knowing that he was going to leave everyone behind, but he knew why it had to be that way and, for that reason, he was prepared to acknowledge that it was his fate. 

But it shouldn't have come so soon. None of this should have happened so soon. 

“Nick,” he whispered, closing his eyes tightly, hoping that, if he tried hard enough, he would wake up and find that this had all been a horrible dream; that he could wake up in his own bed and turn to see that beautiful mess of dark auburn hair on the pillow next to him, the beautiful Chinese dragon tattoo visible through the vibrant strands floating over his shoulders. Then, just as he would do every morning, he could wake him up with a kiss and a smile before making them both breakfast in bed which they could then eat while sharing kisses and laughter. And then, finally, they could force their way out of bed and make their way to work, almost always later than everyone else, but, as usual, Jack would excuse them because they were, as he put it, still in the 'honeymoon period'.

Just then, however, someone brushed past him and abruptly jogged him back to the street where he was standing and had been for the past several seconds. He blinked slightly and looked around. For a moment, his mind returning to the words that had spoken out to him in his mind as he had heard the church clock chime, and he found himself transported back to nineteenth century London where thousands of people, the rich rubbing shoulders with beggars, were all packing their way along the streets, bundles and bags of all different shapes and sizes banging into everyone. Children were running around, laughing at the confusion, not understanding the great peril they found themselves in, even as they watched their parents and other adults around them watching with fear in their eyes and, in the case of the women, mascara-blacked tears on their cheeks. 

In the distance, John could see the bay, shimmering with lights as ships passed through the water, sailing away from the docks. The engines sent ripples across the water, illuminated by flickering lights in a multitude of colours. Anyone else would not have been able to see them, but due to the advances in human physiology over the centuries, John's vision was heightened enough that he could make them out clearly, and he suddenly focused on what looked like a large steamer, the decks packed out with people watching as the bay disappeared from their view.  

A moment later, the same voice sounded in his head again. 

_“Fire suddenly leapt from house to house. The population panicked and ran, and I was swept along with them, aimless and lost without Carrie. Finally, I headed eastwards for the ocean and my only hope of survival; a boat out of England.”_

Throughout the screams, John could hear hisses and piercing whistles in the air surrounding him and when he looked up, he could see almost exactly what the words echoing through his mind said. Sparks of brightly coloured lights exploding around the houses and the bay, as the people screamed and fled towards the water. Almost without him noticing, a young man grabbed John's arm and pulled him along with them, dragging him on towards the boats, screaming words at him, words that were incoherent with sheer panic, but his eyes were wide and bright, staring around wildly, as if he was looking for something – anything that might buy them enough time to join their friends and family who were already lucky enough to be on board the ships. 

The clock chimed once, twice and then three times and John felt his blood run cold as he realised that he was running out of time. Very soon, everything would be lost and he would be left alone with no way of getting away from the devastation. 

It wasn't much of an aim, but it gave him enough focus to follow the man and to force his way along the pavements towards the bay where their hopes for survival lay.

But as he made his way down towards the dock, the voice in his head started up again, only this time, though he recognised the words, they seemed to be taunting him, telling him that he would not find what he was looking for. 

_“A vast crowd buffeted me to the already packed steamer. I looked up enviously at those safely on board, straight into the eyes of my beloved Carrie. At the sight of me, she began to fight her way along the packed deck to the gangplank. At that very moment, it was raised, and I caught a last glimpse of her despairing face, as the crowd swept me away from her.”_

The clock chimed once more and John looked up towards the bay. At that very moment, it was as if a mist that had been hanging over his eyes was lifted and he saw the place for what it truly was. Instead of looking up at the steamer and seeing the beautiful brown eyes and thick red hair belonging to his beloved Nick, he instead looked up and recognised no one. 

And no one recognised him. 

At the same time, he realised that he hadn't actually seen flashes of alien lights or burning houses; instead, they had been bright fireworks and bonfires blazing in the sky as throngs of people took to the streets laughing – _laughing,_ not crying – and with their faces camouflaged by make-up and wigs as they ran from house to house, their children's voices ringing cheerfully throughout the night, always with the same words.

“Trick or treat!”  

With those words, any final illusions John might have had were shattered and he was forced almost violently back to the present day – and, at the same time, the memories assaulted him with such force that he almost collapsed on top of the pole beside him. 

“No!” he screamed, gripping his stomach and screwing his eyes shut as he tried to block out the images that were exploding in his mind; images of that fateful day, the day that had begun with happiness and celebration, only to end in tears and heartbreak. He could still see Nick watching him, a small and sad smile on his pale face and a single tear dripping underneath his glasses as he spoke, his voice as calm as a summer's breeze, even though he knew what was coming, and had done for a long time. 

“No...no, please!” he begged, his hands moving from his stomach to grip at his hair. He scrunched his eyes up tighter, but the images kept flowing through him, burning his brain like fire. Now, he could hear Nick's voice as he quietly spoke those last words to him before...

“No...Nick, please!” he screamed again, this time opening his eyes and trying to force himself to look around. To try and ease the ripping pain in his heart by focusing on his surroundings rather than on those terrible images. To see the buildings around him and the bay right in front of him. 

 _Watch and listen,_ he forced himself to think. _Look around...see, there's St. David's Hotel there and there's the water tower and the boardwalk and...oh, listen, there's a group of kids dressed up as vampires and werewolves...looks like they've been reading a bit too much Twilight..._

But a shrill beeping suddenly cut through his thoughts and forced him to turn and look down at the digital watch that Ianto had strapped onto his wrist. His eyes widened as he caught sight of the time flashing in front of his eyes.

Eight fifty-three. There were only seven minutes left. 

At the same time, a panicked voice echoed in his ear.

“John?” It was Ianto. “Where are you? You're running out of time. The flare's going to be gone in –” 

Seven minutes. He had seven minutes. Then he would lose his chance and there was no knowing when the next one would be. There was no knowing how long he would be trapped here, with Torchwood, working every day, but each day, knowing that there was no meaning to it any more. 

But he was completely on the wrong side of the city. Even if he ran as fast as he could – which, even for a former Time Agent and a Torchwood operative, was impressively fast – he knew that there was no way he could make it. But he also knew that he couldn't leave from where he was. 

There was only one thing for it.

“I'm almost there, Ianto,” he said dully. “I'm almost there.” 

Then, with a deep breath, he touched his hand to his vortex manipulator and pressed it, closing his eyes. When he opened them, he found himself standing outside the door to the roof of the tall office building. Trembling, he reached out a hand and turned the handle, opening the door with a creaking sound. 

As he stepped out onto the roof, a cascade of memories swept over him – memories of his life and of his love. He could see Nick smiling at him, his bright brown eyes full of life as he laughed and smiled, before John gathered him close in a passionate kiss... 

And for the first time in days, John smiled and just let the memories take over...

***

_Next Time: We may not find out what drove John to leave, but instead it's time for a trip back into happier times and to a certain night in a bar. What did John ask that Nick agreed to?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has a question for Nick...a very important question.

_5_ _ th _ _December, 2012..._

John grinned madly as he lapped up the applause from the audience, before fixing his eyes on Nick, who was apparently still trying to decide whether he should be embarrassed, amused, flattered or turned on.

_Personally, I'll settle for a combination of all of the above – but with emphasis on being turned on, ideally!_

He tipped his lover an enormous wink and a grin before he spoke out again. “So, Dr. Jones,” he said, lying down across the front of the stage, parading his bare chest for everyone to see. “If you wouldn't mind coming up here...I believe myself to be in need of an examination.”

“Oh, baby!” shouted a man in the audience, who then grabbed Nick's hand and pulled him to his feet. “That I just have to see!” A chorus of agreement went up from everyone else. 

John burst out laughing. “Well, I certainly have no objections! However, I think that gorgeous man on your arm might have some objections at the moment.”

Slowly, and amid several groans of disappointment at the loss of a potentially very interesting show, he pulled himself onto a high stool that someone had brought out for him and picked up the microphone.

“Nick,” he said, his voice much quieter now, “come here a second.” 

He waited until his lover was standing beside him before reaching out and clasping his hand. “We've been through a lot together and I wanted to show you just...just how much you mean to me.” His voice cracked slightly on the last words. “I hope you'll like this...and I hope it'll mean that you'll be changing your mind about me not getting any after serenading you with Doctor Jones!”

With a last squeeze of the younger man's hand, he turned his head slightly and signalled to a young woman sat at the piano at the back of the stage. As soon as she started playing, the lights dimmed so that John and Nick were both bathed in a single spotlight the colour of the palest purple iris.

“This is for you, Nick,” John said in a slightly husky voice, before he began to sing.

_“I don't know, but I believe_

_That some things are meant to be._

_And that you'll make a better me.  
Everyday I love you.”_

In reality, John knew, Nick had already made him a better man. It was thanks to the beautiful man beside him that he was able to stop being the hard nut he once was and to let the real John show through; the vulnerable and scared young man he had been before he left his home. At the Time Agency, as a soldier, he had been forced to hide those feelings and put on the façade of the tough warrior who took pleasure in fighting wars that others would consider pointless excuses for murder.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy the adventure, or the rush of adrenaline that filled his veins every time he took to the field with his sword at his belt and his guns in his hand. And it certainly wasn’t that a certain side effect of being at the Time Agency – namely, men, women, aliens of any species and, in several cases, even animals, falling at his feet with lust at the sight of him in his uniform – was unwelcome either.

But this time it was different. Nick knew his past, both with the Time Agency and before. And, unlike with his other lovers, even Jack to a degree, John had been entirely willing to let him know his past, because he knew that Nick wouldn't judge him.

 __  
“I never thought that dreams came true.  
But you showed me that they do.  
You know that I learn something new.  
Every day I love you.  
  
'Cos I believe that destiny  
Is out of our control.  
And you'll never live until you love,  
With all your heart and soul.”

The closest John had ever come to feeling this happy had been when he had been involved with Jack. Unlike many of his then colleagues, Jack had been much more willing to look beyond the warrior facade that John had projected and to see him for who he was. In return, John himself had tried to not only be himself around Jack, but to allow Jack to be himself around him. He had thought that they understood each other perfectly; that they had each finally found someone who they could be completely open and honest with. 

But when he had come to Cardiff that first time and seen Jack again, he had realised that he had been wrong. Jack had found someone who he could share his past with without being judged. But that person hadn't been him. Instead, John's place had been taken by a sexy young Welshman who wore carefully tailored suits and who had a lethal aim with a stun gun.

He had been excruciatingly jealous of Ianto, he didn't mind admitting it. Even after the deaths of Owen and Toshiko, when he had let Jack go, even though he had wanted him to be happy, and even though they had remained close friends and colleagues, he had still felt that proverbial green-eyed monster rearing its head in his chest and roaring in agony, wanting to be the one who Jack turned to in his times of need. __  
  
“It's a touch when I feel bad.  
It's a smile when I get mad.  
All the little things I am.  
Every day I love you.

_Every day I love you more,_

_Every day, I love you...”_

But then Nick had arrived and, as clichéd as it sounded, he had turned John's world upside down. From the moment they had met, he had felt Ianto's cousin had cast a powerful spell over him that made him want to run to him and hold him, to kiss him senseless and ravish him against the water tower – or whatever it was that happened to be nearest. 

Then came the trip to Flat Holm when John had gone against Jack's orders and taken Nick out there because the younger man had almost pleaded with him that he needed to know the truth. In those moments, when he had held a despairing Nick in his arms, John had somehow known that he wanted so much more with Nick than what he had first thought he wanted. Far from just wanting to pin him to the wall and, well, shag him senseless, he wanted to care for him and protect him. He wanted to laugh with him and even cry with him. But, most of all, he wanted to open his heart to him, to tell him things that he would never tell anyone else, not even Jack.

In fact, he quickly realised that he wanted a relationship with Nick like the one that Jack had with Ianto. A relationship where something as simple as just looking at Nick over the conference room table could set a warm glow in his heart and put a smile on his face.

That was something he had been waiting for for a very long time – and now, he wouldn't have to wait any longer. He had found it in the beautiful red-haired man standing by his side.

 __  
“'Cos I believe that destiny  
Is out of our control.  
And you'll never live until you love,  
With all your heart and soul.”

As the short piano solo echoed through the room, John took a deep breath. This was it. This was the moment he had been anticipating for...well, he supposed technically it was only about a month, but in reality, it was far longer than that – almost three years, in fact, even if he had spent two of those years with no memories of this man. This funny, tender, beautiful man who saw the world that little bit differently to the rest – and who had, almost without him realising it, captured his heart as easily as a spider captures a fly. 

_Here goes. Be still, my beating heart, your sound will give me away…_

Very slowly, and as the piano faded away, he reached into the pocket of his trousers and drew out the small green velvet box. Then, bending down on one knee, he clasped Nick's hand in his own and placed the box in it (accompanied by several gasps and cheers from the crowd) and then looked up into his partner's bright hazel eyes as he started to sing again, his voice trembling with hope and anxiety. __  
  
“If I asked would you say yes?  
Together we're the very best.”

“I am asking you now, Nick Jones,” he said and his voice trembled even more as he watched as the younger man's eyes widen with shock as he looked inside the box. “Will you marry me?”

In the silence that followed, he could almost hear the collective heartbeat of the audience as they sat, watching rapt with attention. But he didn't dare look up at Nick; he was far too scared of what he might see if he looked into his eyes.

But when the pianist paused in her playing and the crowds started shifting uneasily in the silence that echoed through the room, he felt something cold clutch at his heart. _Too soon,_ he thought to himself. _We might have been away for two and a half years according to this time, but for him, it’s probably only been a few months. He won’t be ready for something like this yet – and he’s probably still remembering how his last marriage ended. Of course, he won’t want to make the same mistake again._

Silently, John cursed himself for pushing Nick too far too fast. But before he could speak, if only to say that it didn’t matter, the pianist started playing again and, a moment later, someone started singing.

John froze as he recognised the voice beside him. _He’s not…is he?_ Slowly, hardly daring to hope, he turned around and found himself looking straight into Nick’s smiling face, his brown eyes alight with joy.

 __  
“I know that I am truly blessed  
Every day I love you.”

It was true that Nick wasn’t the most gifted singer by any stretch of the imagination, but, in that moment, John thought that he was listening to an angel sent down from Heaven to serenade him. 

“In case you hadn’t guessed what that means, let me say it now,” said Nick into the microphone as he held up his hand, on which the ring sat, multitudes of colours shining in the light. “Yes.”

 _Okay,_ John thought to himself, _I may need to reassess that last idea. Not even an angel could make words sound as sweet as he just did._ “You mean…?”

“I’m wearing the ring, aren’t I?” Nick sounded amused. “But since it clearly needs to be spelled out, here’s what I’m saying.” He took John’s hand back in his own. “Yes, John, I’ll marry you.”

 __  
“And I'll give you my best  
Every day I love you...”

John barely heard himself singing over the combination of the cheering in the crowd and the rushing sound in his ears. _He said yes…oh my God, he said yes! He’s wearing the ring – he’s going to marry me!_

  
“John.” Nick's amused voice cut through his thoughts and a moment later, he was facing him. “Stop dancing around and just do what you've been wanting to do for the last ten minutes – kiss me senseless.”

The crowd whooped and cheered. John grinned. “With pleasure, sweetheart,” he gushed and, with his heart pounding faster and faster, he cupped Nick's face in his hands and did exactly as he had been instructed – he held his new fiancé close to his wildly beating heart and kissed him senseless.  

Nick melted against him so that his heart was beating violently against John's shirt – but then he pulled back rather abruptly with a smirk. “But you were right about one thing,” he said.

John frowned. “I was?”

“Yes, you were,” said Nick, his voice growing even more amused. “You're not getting any...not at this point, anyway.” He smirked as the crowd groaned in disappointment. “Sorry, folks, but this one here has a couple of friends he needs to call so he can spread our news around!”

John took a moment to collect himself before he nodded. “Right, yes, of course!” he said and bounded off the stage (amid rapturous applause from the crowd) to ring his two closest friends. His heart was thumping so hard and his fingers were shaking so violently from excitement, he could barely dial the number for Jack and Ianto's flat. _I can't believe it...he actually said yes! We're...oh, my God, we're actually getting married!_

“Hello!” Jack's jovial voice echoed down the line. “You're through to the landline for Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones. Our phones are working, but, as you may have guessed, we're not answering it, either because we've been called away or because we're shagging on the sofa – oh, come on, Ianto, everyone knows that we're together – and just don't want to get up! So, please leave a message after the beep! Beeep! Ouch, Ianto...okay, okay, leave a message after the – no, I won't do it again, Ianto – real beep!”

There was a short pause before John heard the familiar beep inviting him to leave his message. “Hey, guys!” he shouted down the phone. “I've obviously caught you at a bad time, given that you're not answering your phone, so I'll just drop the message in that...Nick said yes!”

He let out a joyful laugh, not even pausing to be surprised when he jumped in the air, clicking his heels together. “We're just heading back to the Hub to spread the joy, but we wanted you and Eye Candy to know first. But anyway, I'll get off the phone and leave you to do whatever it is you're doing – or maybe that should be _whoever_ it is you're doing!”

With another laugh, he hung up and turned around – just in time to see Nick tapping something on his mobile with a cheeky grin on his face. He frowned and leaned over to look at what he was doing. His jaw dropped open. _No way..._

“Nick, are you doing what –“

“Oh, yes,” said Nick, without looking up. “I've just announced our engagement on Twitter! Now, I think we should get home and celebrate!” He chuckled as John squeaked and sputtered incoherently at him. “What? You didn't really think I was going to shag you on that stage, did you?”

“No,” muttered John in a very small voice.

“Ha,” said Nick. “Well, sorry to hold out on you but, as you know, the best things come to those who wait. And, believe me, the best is going to come.”

John was about to reply, but before he could, Nick's phone trilled loudly at him. Watching him, he saw that whatever the message said wasn't good, because the smile on his partner's face quickly melted into a frown. 

“What is it?” 

“It's from Declan.” Nick looked up at him. “There's been an incident at work.” He scanned the rest of the message. “Shit. He said that they've had to call Dan and Rupesh in to help out.”

“But they're not –“

“I know. John, it's a Code Black alert.”  

John swore softly. When they had been high up in the ranks at the Time Agency, he and Jack had come up with a new method of coding potential incidents, ranging from Clear Code – meaning something one or two people could take care of easily – to Code Black, which was the sort of situation which could cause widespread destruction if it wasn't countered with extreme speed. 

“John?” Nick had instantly shed the last of his off-duty persona and the expression on his face was grim – he had what John called his 'Torchwood operative' face on; focused and determined and with hints of steel flashing in his usually soft brown eyes. 

Slowly, he nodded. “Let's go.”

~*~

The door leading into the tourist office was wide open when John and Nick arrived. They exchanged grim looks and trained their guns on the inside before entering. 

“No one and nothing here,” said Nick, who was conducting a thorough examination of the office. “Your wrist strap picking up anything?” he asked, glancing up from where he was crouched underneath Ianto's desk.

“Not even a piece of poodle fluff,” said John. “Although, Ianto is going to be madder than the hounds of Hell when he sees the mess in here.”

“No kidding,” said Nick. “I bet even after he...” he stopped and seemed to struggle with himself for a moment, “well, you know – Ianto will come back somehow and make sure this place is kept in perfect working order.” 

“Oh, don't say things like that!” John pouted. “I won't be able to shag you over the table if I know that your cousin's watching us!” Suddenly, he grinned and looked around. “Although,” he said, helping Nick to his feet, “he doesn't seem to be here to watch us – and we do have an engagement to celebrate...”

“John!” Nick's mouth twitched slightly, briefly breaking his professional façade. “For goodness sake...now is not the time!” He slapped John's hands away from his shirt. “Let's sort out whatever's happened here and _then_ I'll take you home and shag you into the mattress.”

“Okay.” Logically, John knew that Nick was right – they had to deal with whatever had been thrown at them this time – but his libido was putting up quite the argument. With a sigh, he straightened up and gave Nick a quick kiss. “Come on, then.” 

They made their way through the tourist office and through the long tunnel – John noticing that, despite his focused expression, Nick's eyes were occasionally flickering with fear, though not with fear for himself.

 _He's worried_ , he realised. _He's not scared of what could happen to him, but...he's scared that something's going to happen to his friends...and his family._

He knew he couldn't say anything – the last thing they would want would be to alert anything that shouldn't be there to their presence – but he did reach over and gently clasp Nick's hand, stroking his fingers to reassure him that everything would be fine. 

They reached the cog door a few moments later and exchanged grim looks when they saw that it wasn'tfully closed, readying their guns. John took a deep breath and nodded. Then he made a hand signal at Nick, one that he and Jack had devised at the Time Agency and had brought to Torchwood.

It meant 'Shoot to kill.' 

Nick looked shocked, but he nodded and then made a signal indicating that he understood as John pushed the door open properly, revealing the Hub in darkness. They exchanged one last look, and stepped inside.

And they were instantly assaulted by an explosion of sound and light.

_“Congratulations, and celebrations,_

_When I tell everyone that you're in love with me!_

_Congratulations, and jubilations,_

_I want the world to know I'm as happy as can be!”_

John blinked several times. “What?” he whispered. “That doesn't sound like...” but then he trailed off when he realised exactly what it was he was looking at.

Now that the lights had come up, he could see that the Hub had been decorated with not only the usual Christmas decorations – which were lavish enough in themselves – but also with a huge and colourful banner reading 'Congratulations, Nick and John' which hung underneath the basketball hoop. There was a large table underneath it and Jack was standing on it, belting out 'Congratulations' while doing an impression of Cliff Richard that was almost terrifyingly accurate. Meanwhile, the rest of the team, unsurprisingly with Declan grinning wildly at the head, were dancing around the room blowing streamers over them and singing raucously along with Jack.

John and Nick simply stood in silence for several moments before John pulled Nick back behind the cog door. “Did you just see what I saw?”

“If what you just saw was the team acting like lunatics while Jack was singing ‘Congratulations’ with a really bad quiff on his head, then yes, I did see what you just saw,” answered Nick. “I think we might have been lured here under false pretences, you know.” 

“Oh, really?” John raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. For one thing, while the tourist office was a mess, it was in a very organised mess, the sort of mess only Ianto could make. For another thing, there was no sign of any Rift activity at this spot since we left.”

“Excellent points, Holmes,” said John in his best ‘Dr. Watson’ voice.

“Indeed, Watson,” said Nick, playing along as they made their way back to the team, who had thankfully now stopped singing. “Although, there is one final clue remaining.”

“And what would that be?” asked Jack. 

“Well, Captain,” said Nick, “it is simply that, if a Code Black incident had actually happened, I doubt that the Hub would still have been standing.” 

Jack shrugged elaborately. “You got me.”

John walked over to his friend and punched him hard on the shoulder. “Prat,” he said affectionately. “Fancy faking an incident just to get us here to hear you murdering Cliff Richard!” 

“Well, we could hardly say ‘Come to the Hub, we’ve organised an engagement party for you’, could we?” asked Ianto, bounding up to them with a half-empty glass of champagne in his hand. “Although, I’m very impressed that you figured out that it was a ruse, Nicky.”

“Of course I did!” answered Nick as he poured himself a drink. “I’m a Jones, after all.”

“Very true,” answered Dan, who had apparently been half-hiding behind the table that Jack had been standing on a few moments before. He shook both their hands. “Congratulations, both of you. I hope you’ll be very happy.”

“Thank you, Dan,” answered Nick, smiling.

John watched them, feeling a mild sense of unease. He knew that Dan wasn’t really a threat and that Nick had, at the end of the day, chosen him, even accepted his proposal barely an hour ago! But at the same time, he had seen something in Dan’s eyes as he’d congratulated them that had unnerved him, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

It wasn’t even that he didn’t like Dan; the man was friendly and polite, though most of the team knew that he had a hell of a temper underneath his angelic face. It was more that there was a small part of him that was worried that the young doctor might try and steal Nick away from him and no matter how many times he told himself that what was in the past stayed in the past, he just couldn’t quite squash the feeling. It didn’t help that he’d caught a flicker of shock in Dan’s eyes when he’d actually seen the ring on Nick’s finger; almost as if the other man hadn’t actually believed that Nick had accepted the proposal before he’d actually seen the proof of it for himself.

“Put it out of your head, John,” said a voice and he turned around to see Rupesh standing beside him.

“What?” he asked.

“You know what.” Rupesh turned and looked him squarely in the eye. “The thought that running to the opposite side of the world once you and Nick are married is a good idea so that you don’t have to worry about Dan stealing him away.”

“I’m not –” John started to protest, but when the other man raised an eyebrow, he sighed. “Am I that transparent?” 

“Yep.” Rupesh took a sip of his drink. “Look, John, I’ve known Dan for a long time and I know that he won’t get in the way of Nick’s happiness. And I know Nick well enough to know that when he commits to someone, he commits completely.” He paused. “Yes, Nick and Dan have history – a _lot_ of history – and I know that they were happy when they were together. But now they’re just good friends.”

“But –”

“Come on,” interrupted Rupesh, “you know that it’s possible for ex-lovers to be friends. Look at you and Jack. You've been lovers, but, ultimately, that hasn't stopped you being friends has it, even though you've had some rough patches in between?”

“No, it hasn't,” said John. “I'm being stupid, aren't I?” he said with a rueful laugh. 

“Just a little bit, yes,” said an amused voice and John turned around to where Nick was leaning on his shoulder and grinning.

“Look at this,” he said, waggling his hand in front of John's face so that he could see the ring shining on his finger. “Would I be wearing this if I wasn't planning on committing to you?” 

John turned around so he could wrap Nick in his arms. “Should I repeat what I just said?”

“What, that you're being stupid?” Nick laughed softly. “Nope, there's no need for that. Instead, you can get up here and have a dance with me.”

“With pleasure,” said John and, as the couple were surrounded by yet more streamers, he twirled Nick around in the middle of the Hub with new exuberance as Jack, who had taken his place back on the dance table, belted out the song's chorus.

 _“My boot scootin' baby is drivin' me crazy!_  
My obsession from a western – my dance floor date!  
My rodeo romeo, a cowboy god from head to toe;   
Wanna make you mine better get in line –   
5-6-7-8!”

***

_Next Time: John comes up with a surprise for his husband-to-be and he and Nick plan their upcoming wedding and meet the rest of the Jones family, not all of whom react well to their news. But then Ianto springs another surprise on the couple…_


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that their engagement is official, John and Nick face the difficult task of planning a wedding...and informing the family!

_14th December 2012..._

“What’re you doing, John?” asked Ianto, craning his neck to look at the computer screen. “You thinking of taking Nick off on a honeymoon before you’re even married or something?”

Nick, who had come over just in time to hear that remark, burst into laughter. “He wishes, Ianto! No, we’ve made an arrangement – we can still share a bed and snuggle and stuff, but no sex until the wedding night.”

Ianto’s eyes nearly bugged out of his head. “Wow,” he said. “I thought I’d heard everything, but Nick, you’ve just officially shocked me.”

“Not as shocked as I was when he made the suggestion in the first place,” said Nick, nudging John.

“It’s a tradition in my family,” explained John. “Every time someone got married, from the day that they decided on a date, they would abstain from sexual intercourse until the wedding night. It’s so that the wedding night feels special for them both.”

He smiled sadly and looked up at the cousins. “Dad told me about it before Mum died. It was one of the last friendly and fun conversations we ever had.”

Nick put his hand on John’s shoulder and rubbed it gently. “It’s always those last moments that you remember,” he said quietly, and John knew that he was thinking of his own father. He reached out with his own hand and rested it on top of Nick’s, letting their fingers link together.

The invisible lift came down at that point and Jack hopped off the slab with Garrett behind him trying to staunch a deep and bleeding gash in his arm, despite Jack’s insistences that it was just a scratch and it would heal soon enough anyway.

“That may be so, but it’s still my job to treat you,” retorted Garrett. “So, stop trying to be a hero and sit down and let me sort you out before you find yourself turned into The Mummy!” He looked up at Nick. “Has he always been like this?”

“Every time he gets injured,” answered Nick.

Jack winked at Garrett. “Oh, baby!” he said. “I love it when you get masterful!” He sat down and let the black-haired man bandage his arm. “Although I’m not sure Imhotep is really me.”

“You don’t fancy the Pharaoh’s girlfriend, then?” asked John.

“Nope,” said Jack. “I don’t need royalty. I’m perfectly happy with who I’ve got right here.” He stroked Ianto’s hand, smiling as the younger man blushed.

“That may well be one of the sweetest things I’ve heard you say, Jack,” murmured Nick with a grin.

“What are you looking at, John?” asked Garrett, who had glanced over Jack’s shoulder suddenly. “Planning a hotel break or something?”

“Nope,” said John. “I’m looking at possible wedding venues.” He grinned at the shocked expressions on the faces of his friends. “What are you all doing on the 30th of June?”

Jack pretended to consult his diary. “Nothing.”

“Good, because that’s the day that Nick and I are getting married,” said John, his grin growing broader.

Ianto gasped. “You’ve set a date?”

“Yep,” said Nick. “We’ve set a date, but we’ve not decided where we’re getting married yet. Although,” and he looked up at his cousin, “I hope you’ll be the one walking me down the aisle.”

Ianto grinned. “Nicky, trust me – nothing in the universe could stop me.”

Jack chuckled. “So, John, I guess that means you’re stuck with me as your best man.”

“I guess it does,” agreed John. “What do you say?”

“I’d be honoured,” said Jack. The two men embraced slightly awkwardly, though that was mainly due to Jack’s right arm being confined to a sling. Then, he turned to look at Nick. “Treat him right, won’t you?”

“Of course I will,” promised Nick.

“So, you haven’t decided where you’re going to be getting married then?” asked Garrett.

“No,” said John, sighing. “There are just so many options out there.”

“I swear planning was not this hard the first time I got married,” agreed Nick.

“That’s because the first time you got married, you chose the university campus because you couldn’t afford anywhere else,” responded Ianto. “But now you don’t need to worry about that as much, all these other options suddenly come to light.”

“The thing is, I don’t know if I can really see myself getting married in a big posh hotel,” said John, tapping his fingers on the table.

“I’m not sure I can see it either,” agreed Jack, chewing his lip as he looked at the web page. “So, why not try this radical idea and not get married in a big posh hotel!”

John raised his eyebrow at him. “Okay, so where would you suggest we do it then?” He watched as Jack leaned over him and typed something into the search engine before bringing up a picture of a castle.

Ianto looked over Jack’s shoulder. “Hey, that’s not a bad idea, actually! It’s certainly a nice setting.”

John blinked at the writing. “You want us to get married in a place called…Castle Cock?” he asked Jack incredulously and then jumped as Ianto smacked him round the back of the head. “What was that for?!”

“It’s pronounced _Castell Coch_ ,” he said. “And it’s a very nice place, perfect for a wedding.”

“It is a nice place,” agreed Nick. “But we agreed very quickly that we didn’t want to get married in Cardiff, or even in Wales. Don’t worry,” he added, obviously noting the worried look on Jack’s face, “we got in touch with Martha and she’s agreed to come down with some of her UNIT friends to oversee things here. But we want this wedding to go off smoothly and that includes being free of explosions from the Rift.”

“Fair point,” said Jack, nodding and entered something else in the search engine. “How about a ceremony up on the Yorkshire moors? You can’t get much more romantic than that and then you could go down to the pub for the reception. I’ve heard that there are some good pubs in that Penis-town place.”

This time, Nick was the one delivering the smack to the back of Jack’s head. “You two really need to stop making dirty jokes out of place names,” he said. “The actual pronunciation is Penistone and it’s really not the kind of place you’d want to go to for a wedding.”

“Why not?” asked Jack.

“Well,” Nick paused, “let’s just say there’s a reason why my friend who lived there called it the arse end of nowhere. There’s pretty much nothing in it, except a couple of pubs, a church – oh, and the Kingswood activity centre which became one of the banes of my friend’s life – he worked there over the summer.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “I think that might have been where I ended up when the 456 turned up,” he mused. “There’s not much evidence of anything happening – well, unless you count the rather large crater in the woods where,” but he stopped when he caught the expression on Ianto’s face. “Well, anyway, I think I saw a place called Kingswood there when I got myself back together again.”

“Hey!” said John suddenly. “I didn’t know you could get married onstage!” While the conversation had been going on around him, he’d been searching unusual wedding venues on his phone and had come up with a page listing several places, including a small but beautiful theatre in Bath. Quickly, he typed the name of the place into the computer and scanned through the pictures. “Nick, this is perfect!” he shouted out. “It’s really different and the kids will love it!”

“They really will,” agreed Nick, his face lighting up as he also looked at the pictures. “It’s gorgeous.”

“I can see Trev telling his children about it,” said Jack, chuckling. “He’ll want everyone to know that his dads got married onstage like stars!”

Nick and Ianto chuckled and agreed, but Jack’s words had got John thinking.

~*~

 _Two weeks later..._

“So,” said Dan as he swallowed a couple of chips, “what was it that you wanted to ask me? You sounded rather nervous over the phone.”

John nodded. “I'm not usually accustomed to asking favours from my partner's ex-lover,” he said. “But, as much as it pains me to admit it – Dan, I need your help.” He glanced furtively over his shoulder and then dropped his voice, leaning over the table so that his forehead was practically touching Dan's. “It's for something for Nick.”

Dan nodded. “Then, I'll do anything I can if it'll help Nick or make him happy.”

“I know you would,” said John, though he was slightly ashamed to note that the statement was more like a grudging admission. _Stop it,_ he chastised himself. _You asked him for help and you promised Nick that you would at least try to get along with him. Stop thinking of him as Nick's ex-lover and start thinking of him as Nick's friend._

Taking a deep breath, he straightened up again. “How long have you known William Cuthbert?”

“We went to university together,” said Dan, “and he came to work at St. David's shortly after Nick joined Torchwood. But he was really more Nick's friend than he was mine; I never really liked him that much, but I tried to stay civil with him for Nick's sake.”

John nodded. “What about after he came to work here? Did your opinion of him change at all?”

“You mean did I think better of him?” Dan shook his head. “No, I didn't. Oh, he knows what he's doing, medically, I can't deny that, but other than that, he's one of the most selfish people I've met in my life. He always has been and he always will be.”

“So...not someone who would want to raise a child?” asked John.

Dan let out a bark of laughter that was not at all amused. “And interrupt his happy life of bachelorhood? No, definitely not.” Suddenly, he looked suspicious. “Why are you asking?”

“Because,” said John, “a couple of weeks ago, after Nick and I set a date for the wedding, I consulted a solicitor so that I can legally adopt Trev and Estelle and be their official stepfather in the eyes of the law.”

Dan's eyes widened. “Does Nick know?”

“No, he doesn't; I want to surprise him, but at the same time, I didn't want to tell him in case it didn't work out. However, I've been told that there's no problems as far as Trev's concerned, but, as you know, Estelle isn't biologically Nick's daughter and Denise – that's my solicitor – is concerned that we may run into problems if her biological father tries to get custody of her. And that's where you come in, Dan.”

He leaned forwards. “I need you to testify that Nick will care for and love Estelle in a way that Will isn't prepared to do. Can you do that?”

Dan frowned. “John,” he said, clearly uncomfortable, “under any other circumstances, I would say yes in a heartbeat, but,” he hesitated, “do you really think it's a good idea to have the kids with you? I mean, you and Nick both work very long hours and what you do is very dangerous. What if you end up getting killed?”

“They won't live with us,” said John. “They'd stay with Catrin and David, but the adoption would mean that I would have the legal rights to make decisions about the children if Nick...” he stopped and swallowed hard. He couldn't say it, “well, you know. If the worst happens.”

“Oh, I see.” Dan nodded. “And the reason you'll need my help is if Will tries to get custody of Estelle.”

“Exactly,” said John. “So, what do you say? Will you help us?”

“I will.”

“Thanks.” John knew that he was visibly more relaxed as Dan agreed. “I've already spoken to Catrin and David and they're happy with the arrangement. They don't know the full story about what Nick and I do, but they know enough to understand that it's very dangerous and that there's every chance that something could happen any day. I've also said that, if something happens to both of us, they can stay as their guardians. “

“When do we meet with your lawyer?”

“Tomorrow at half one,” answered John. “Catrin and David are going to meet us there.”

“Oh,” said Dan. “So, that's why you were dry-cleaning that suit?”

“Can't hurt to make a good impression,” said John with a shrug. “Besides, it’s pretty much the only suit I have and I didn’t want to get to the day and find that it needed cleaning!”

Dan burst out laughing. “Yeah, Nick can be like that; he loses track of his washing ridiculously easily. I remember once, there was a formal departmental dinner on and he didn't realise until about an hour before we had to go that he didn't have a clean shirt! He ended up the only one of mine that fit him, which ended up being made of pale lavender silk!”

John fought hard to keep a straight face while the other man spoke, but the image of Nick in a lavender silk shirt with his bright red hair was too much for him and he also burst out laughing. “I bet he loved that!”

“Oh yes.” Dan chuckled as well. “By the way, is he still using that mint –“

“Head and Shoulders shampoo?” John nodded. “Oh, yes. At one stage, I had to change toothpastes, because the stench of that shampoo was just putting me off mint! I ended up using that awful strawberry stuff Trev and Estelle use!”

Dan winced in sympathy. “I can't eat mint sweets or be around anyone who is any more. Seriously, if you want to get me out of a room, just start chewing something with lots of mint in it.”

“I'll keep that in mind when your birthday comes around,” teased John, smiling slightly when his comment gained a laugh. “Thanks for agreeing to this, Dan. I’ll see you tomorrow, and try not to be late – Denise likes that even less than you like being told you look like Carlisle from Twilight.”

~*~

 _The next day…_

Denise Whitsun was a tall and severe black woman who wore suits which had been more sharply pressed than John had ever seen, even on Ianto. When she came out to meet them, she shook each of their hands with such a firm grip that Dan audibly squeaked while David, Catrin's husband, bit his lip sharply. Even John, who had had experience of vice-like handshakes before, found it difficult not to react.

“Captain Hart,” she said, “the last time we met, you said you wanted to adopt Trevyn and Estelle Jones legally. Has that changed at all?”

“No, it hasn’t,” said John firmly. “Unless you think that becoming more determined to adopt them counts as changing. I love those children like they’re my own and I want them to have the best care possible in case anything should happen to their father. But, as we discussed last time, they will continue to live with my sister-in-law and her husband.”

Denise nodded. “Are you and your husband happy with the arrangement, Mrs. Ashford?”

“We are,” said Catrin. John smiled at his sister-in-law.

“And, Captain Hart, you are happy to let the children live with their current guardians?”

“I am,” said John. “And so is Nick.”

She nodded again and then turned back to Catrin and David. “And do you both believe that Captain Hart is suitably qualified to decide what will happen to the children in the event of Dr. Jones’ death?”

David nodded. “Like he said, he adores those children and he treats them like they’re his own. I can think of no one I would trust more to decide on their future if anything were to happen to Nick.”

“I agree,” said Catrin.

John blushed slightly. “Thank you, both,” he whispered.

Denise nodded again. “As I said, adopting the boy should be no problem. However, since Estelle isn’t Dr. Jones’ biological daughter, there may be complications with her father.” She looked at Dan. “Dr. Olsten, isn’t it?” Dan nodded. “You said that you believe this would not be an issue. Would you care to explain why?”

Dan nodded. “I’ve known William Cuthbert – Estelle’s father – for a long time and I can categorically state that he would not be a fit guardian for her. He wouldn’t be prepared to care for her in the way that Dr. Jones and Captain Hart would.”

“Does he know that he has a daughter?” asked Denise.

“Yes,” said Dan, “and he made it clear that he wants nothing to do with her.”

John inhaled sharply and Catrin hissed between her teeth. David swore quietly in Welsh, his eyes wide with horror.

“Is it your unbiased opinion, therefore, that Dr. Cuthbert would not be suitable to make the decisions about Estelle’s future?” Denise confirmed.

“It is,” said Dan. “I would never give anything except my unbiased opinion when a child’s welfare is at stake. I know Dr. Cuthbert and Dr. Jones were good friends for some time, but I also know that he is not the man I would want making decisions about the future of any children I might have if anything were to happen to me.”

~*~

 _One hour later…_

“Thanks, Dan,” John said. “I was worried that Estelle’s parentage was going to be a problem, but clearly it didn’t need to be. You were a real help today.”

“See, considering that I’m Nick’s ex-lover, I’m not really that bad, am I?” Dan teased. “Seriously, John, if it helps to make Nick happy, there’s very little I wouldn’t do.” He paused. “Actually, I’m not sure there’s anything I wouldn’t do to help him.”

John nodded. “I appreciate that.” He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “And I know how much it would mean to Nick if you came to the wedding. We’ll drop the invitation down when we get them done, but I know he’d want you there.”

Dan blinked. “Oh…wow, well…John, I don’t know.” He seemed to stall for a moment. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am really happy for you, but…”

John nodded. “I understand. I know that if I didn’t have Nick and Jack was marrying Ianto, I’m not sure I’d be able to go and watch him pledge himself to someone else without wishing it was me. But just think about it, okay?”

“I will,” Dan assured him. “And John?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me you’ll take care of him.” The phrase ‘better care of him than I did’ hung in the air between them.

“Of course I will.”

~*~

 _Three days later…_

John rushed into the training centre to find Nick almost pulverising the boxing bag that Jack had put up only two weeks before. His hair was flying wildly around his face as he leapt around wildly and the stuffing from the bag flew around him. Even his eyes were glazed over behind his glasses and streams of sweat raced down his face, glistening on his bright red cheeks. But he didn't seem to notice; he was too focused on the bag in front of him and John would have bet anything he owed that Nick was picturing Luke's face on it.

Slowly, he moved over to him. “You're going to end up leaving nothing but the string tied to the ceiling if you're not careful, you know.”

“Don't care,” panted Nick, without turning round. “It's stopping me from doing something I'll end up regretting – like punching my cousin's lights out!” He jumped up with a yell and kicked the bag hard. However, he misjudged the jump and ended up falling from a greater height than he had anticipated.

Instantly, John stepped up and caught him in his arms, helping him back onto his feet and pulling him against his chest. “Careful,” he said in an amused tone, “don't want you injuring anything before the wedding.”

“Sorry,” mumbled Nick. “It's just...I know Luke and I have never gotten along, but I just hoped that he might have changed. And then to hear him say that and...” he shook his head. “It just got to me.”

“I know.” John kissed Nick softly on the forehead. Indeed, he was so angry with Luke for what he'd said to his cousin that he wanted to go back and reduce the rat to a greasy smear on the carpet, even though neither Nick nor Ianto would appreciate it. But he also knew that Nick needed him by his side at the moment, so, despite wanting to teach Luke a lesson, that was exactly where he intended to stay.

“Listen to me, Nick,” he said quietly. “You and Luke have never gotten along. You've said it yourself a hundred times. So, don't let what he said get to you; you know he has no idea what he's talking aboutand, frankly, he isn't worth getting this stressed over.”

“I know.” Nick looked up slightly. “I just wish –”

“And more importantly,” interrupted John, tapping Nick on the nose. “I love you. Nothing anyone says is going to change that, least of all some stupid git who calls himself your relative.”

“Yeah, you're right,” said Nick, slowly relaxing and resting his head on John's shoulder. “Thank you.”

Ianto came in at that moment and frowned. “What happened?”

“Your cousin Luke happened,” said John succinctly as he ran his fingers through Nick’s hair in an attempt to calm him down.

“He seems to think that by marrying me, John’s going to be signing his own death warrant,” growled Nick, though his voice was muffled by the folds of John’s thick coat.

“He seems to think that this one here is the male version of your friend, Tosh, complete with the curse of his lovers!” John added, but swallowed when Ianto glared at him. “Hey, they were his words, not mine…although he didn’t mention Tosh by name.”

“That doesn’t surprise me, somehow,” said Ianto, coming over and patting Nick’s back. “Look, you and I both know that Luke’s an arse. Don’t let him upset you.”

“I wasn’t upset,” answered Nick, finally looking up. “I was just absolutely flaming mad that he could be such an utter hypocrite! He’s never had more than a one-night-stand – two-night-stand at the most – and he thinks he can have a go at me about my relationships? Okay, so he doesn’t know about what really happened to Ali, but that still does not give him the right to christen me the _Black Widower_!” The last words were accompanied by a vicious punch to the small lump of red plastic that was left of the boxing bag, sending yet more stuffing all over the floor.

John blinked at him. “Then he stormed out and I came down to find him punching the life – literally – out of that thing,” he said, waving at the string hanging from the ceiling, which was now all that was left of the boxing bag.

“Hence the ridiculous amount of stuffing all over the floor,” said Ianto dryly.

“Well, I don’t think Aunt Eira would have been too happy if I’d punched her son, because I’d probably have ended up leaving a rather nasty stain on her carpet,” responded Nick with a rueful smile.

“True,” admitted Ianto. “Although, I think she would have understood. She'll have known that Luke’s no saint, especially after the spider incident.”

John snorted. “There’s a Legolas moment of stating the obvious, if ever there was one.” He didn't know what the spider incident that Ianto was referring to actually was, but he was prepared to bet that if Luke was involved, it wasn't anything good.

Ianto shook his head. “Well,” he said, drawing a piece of paper out of his pocket and handing it to Nick, “this might cheer you up.”

Nick gave his cousin a curious look, but opened it, his eyes widening as he read what was on the paper. “Ianto!” he gasped. “You…you found him?”

John glanced over Nick’s shoulder and looked at what his partner was holding. “Who’s Lucas Porterfield?” he asked. “And why do you have a piece of paper with his address on it?”

“He’s Nick’s mother’s youngest brother,” explained Ianto. “And he’s also probably her only relative who isn’t an elitist prick.” He frowned. “Well, apart from his twins, that is.”

“Twins?” repeated Nick. “He’s got children?”

“Yeah, George and Helen are about your age. He’s divorced and his ex-wife is still in Australia. Apparently, their break-up was rather...acrimonious.”

John grimaced. “Sounds it, if he moved to a different hemisphere to escape her.”

“He only lives in Whitchurch; that's about fifteen minutes away,” said Nick, who was still staring at the piece of paper as if he expected it to go up in flames at any second. “Hey, maybe we should go and visit him – it'd save us having to put his invitation in the post.” He grabbed his jacket. “Come on!”

Both John and Ianto blinked. “What, now?” asked John. When Nick nodded, he frowned slightly. “What are you planning to do, just turn up on his doorstep or something?”

“No,” said Nick. “We're going to just turn up on his doorstep.”

Ianto stared at them both. “Whatever happened to my sweet and innocent little cousin?” he asked, rolling his eyes towards the heavens. “He used to be so shy, he wouldn't say boo to a goose! What changed?”

John and Nick exchanged looks and then both spoke at the same time.

“I joined Torchwood.”

“He met me.”

~*~

“Number five,” said John as he turned the car onto Silver Birch Close. He whistled. “Nice street.”

“Yeah,” said Nick. He ran his fingers through his hair. “God, I hope I don't look as if I've been in a fight. That wouldn't be a good way to greet my uncle and cousins, would it?”

John chuckled. “You look fine,” he assured him. “And I can't wait to meet your uncle. At least this guy sounds like a Luke I'll actually like! Which reminds me,” and he turned into the driveway of the house, “what was the spider incident Ianto was referring to?”

“Oh.” Nick shifted uncomfortably. “Well, shortly after I went to live with Ianto and his parents, Luke came to stay while his parents went away for a few days. Anyway, he had a pet tarantula – although, what Uncle Mark was thinking, letting him have one when he was seven years old, I don't know – which literally went everywhere with him. So, he thought it would be a hilarious idea to let the thing run across my pillow while I was asleep so that I woke up with it crawling over my face!”

John almost crashed into the car parked in front of them in the drive. “You are kidding me,” he growled, hitting the breaks just in time to stop the Jaguar leaving an unwelcome gift in the back of Lucas' car. “That slimy good-for-nothing...” he trailed off, almost spitting in anger. “I'm going to kill him.”

“John, no,” said Nick reprovingly. “Don't sink to his level. You're better than that.”

“I...” John sighed and cut the car engine. “I just...I can't stand the thought of anyone treating you like that, especially a relative. You don't deserve that.” And as he thought about what he'd done that night almost four years ago now when those men had attacked his lover, he knew that he wasn't really any better than Luke.

Nick reached out and gripped John's hand. “Hey, what's that look for?” he asked. “You're glaring at the dashboard as if you want to set it on fire.”

John shut his eyes and rested his head on the steering wheel. “I'm not any better than Luke,” he murmured. “Look at what I've done, Nick. I've tortured people, killed them and done things that would make you sick if I told you about them.” He shook his head. “I'm no better than your cousin.”

“Rubbish,” said Nick emphatically. “Yes, you may have done some terrible things, but they're in the past. You've changed, John. Anyone who's anyone can see that.”

“Have I?”

“Yes.” Nick turned and looked him straight in the eye. “You have.” Slowly, he leaned over and kissed John on the lips before he spoke again. “Believe me.”

John sighed again, but this time it was a happier sound. Suddenly, he felt as if Nick's kiss had given him something; belief that he might actually be a different man to the arrogant Time Agent who had once strutted around the universe as if he owned the place.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile. “Now, let's go and meet your uncle, shall we?” He stepped out of the car and opened Nick's door for him, wrapping his arm around his shoulders as they walked up the driveway.

To John's surprise, however, they had barely set foot on the doorstep when the door opened and a tall red-haired man stood there, smiling at them.

“I saw you pulling into the drive,” he said, a soft Australian twang colouring his words. “It's good to see you, Nick.”

Nick gaped. “Did...did you know we were coming?”

“No, but when I saw you, I knew that it was you, with that hair.” His smile turned slightly solemn. “You really do look like your mother, you know.”

“So I've been told,” said Nick with a rueful sigh. “Sadly, she didn't take the news that John and I are together especially well.”

“So I've heard,” said Lucas. “I'm so sorry for that, Nicky. All I can say is that she used to be different. She never used to care who someone was with as long as they were in love. I don't know what changed her, but something did. The sister I know loved your father and would have done anything to ensure he knew that. And she wouldn't have cared about her son's preferences.”

“Do you mind?” asked Nick cautiously.

“Not even remotely.” Lucas' answer was emphatic. “I have several gay friends myself and I was always proud to support them in the Pride marches in Sydney.”

He shook himself. “What am I doing, making you stand out here in the cold? Come in!” He stepped aside and waved them inside, ushering them through to the sitting room where a young man and woman, both with the same red hair as Nick, were playing cards. They looked up as the trio entered.

“Hi,” said Nick shyly. “George and Helen?”

The woman looked up and her mouth opened slightly. “Nick?” she ventured. “Ciara's son?” She instantly put her cards down – though not before ordering her brother not to look at them – and rushed up to hug him. “I'm your cousin, Helen, and this lazy string bean here,” she indicated the man she had been playing with earlier, “is my brother, George.”

“Lazy string bean yourself!” George also abandoned his cards and leapt up to shake Nick's hand exuberantly and clap him on the back. “Good to see you, mate!”

John smiled as he watched. After what he had heard about Nick's mother's family, he was glad to see that at least there were at least some relatives on that side who actually wanted to get to know him and who didn't object to his lifestyle choice.

“You've got quite the family atmosphere here,” he remarked to Lucas. “George and Helen seem very close.”

Lucas nodded. “We've had some tough times, mostly after their mother walked out, but we've stuck together through them and we're still very close, even after the kids went off to university.”

John chuckled softly. “That's nice.”

“We've always had a very strong sense of family,” said Lucas. “And Nick's a part of that family, and so are you, since I'm guessing that the ring on his finger says that you're going to make things official.”

John's mouth dropped open slightly at Lucas' observation. “Yes, we are. And,” he passed the other man an envelope. “It'd be great if you'd be there.”

“Wouldn't miss it for the world,” said Lucas simply.

***

 _Next Time: We know that Nick has power over fire, but also that he's very reluctant to use them. But a spark of Rift activity shows him that they can be used to save lives._

 __  


 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to the Brecon Beacons introduces Nick to something wonderful.

_ 17 _ _ th _ _ March 2013... _

March had fallen right in the middle of a cold snap that was unusually frigid, even for a cold snap. It had started with a biting wind and rain in the middle of February which had quickly progressed into frost and then into heavy snow that had sent biting chills through anyone who dared to venture out into it. Then, for a few days in early March, it had seemed as if a thaw had set in as the sky slowly deepened from the pale grey it had been for over three months to a bright cerulean blue and the sun's rays finally dared to break through the gradually thinning clouds and warm the Plass and making the few remaining puddles sparkle like thousands of diamonds. 

But then the weather turned violently and abruptly, firstly with the vociferous cold snap and then with a ferocious gale of snow blowing in from somewhere – Jack and Nick had jokingly suggested that the North Pole and South Pole were having a competition to see which could produce the coldest weather and, for some reason, Cardiff had been caught in the crossfire, while Ianto had theorised that the Rift had somehow found a way to manipulate the weather without flagging anything up on the computers in the Hub and, given how sneaky the Rift could be sometimes, the others had to admit that his theory didn't seem impossible (though Jack and Nick would still joke about the Polar Ice Competition, as they'd called it).  

However the weather had come about, though, the last thing that John had wanted to was to spend the evening of St. Patrick's Day trekking through the Brecon Beacons in three feet of snow to deal with whatever it was that the Rift had decided to drop off this time. At the same time, Jack didn't seem particularly pleased by it either, but he had at least been sensible enough to do something John wasn't completely convinced he himself would have done, which was to remember Ianto's fervent dislike of the place and let him stay behind at the Hub rather than have him come to the place where, along with one of his best friends, he had almost been served up as dinner for a bunch of psychotic cannibals. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the same common sense as far as Matt had been concerned, which had meant that the Irish weapons trainer had spent most of the trip grumbling in the back seat of the SUV about how he could have been enjoying a nice date with Garrett involving a pint or several of Guinness and a plateful of his mother's Irish stew. 

“I remember she always used to put lots of carrots in it as well,” he was saying for what felt to John like the thousandth time. “I loved carrots when I was a kid; used to eat them with everything, because they reminded me of the orange part of the Irish flag and –”

“Matt, believe it or not, being stuck in the middle of nowhere in the middle of a freezing cold snowstorm isn't exactly my first choice of how to spend a Sunday night!” snapped Nick. “But you know as well as I do that the Rift doesn't play fair and it doesn't stop if the weather's bad just to give us a break. So just shut up and put up with it, because there's slightly less than nothing that we can do about it.” 

Matt pouted at him. “I know,” he muttered. “Doesn't mean I have to like it.” 

“You chose to take the job, remember, just like all of us here did.”

Jack shifted a bit in the front seat. “Actually, technically, I didn't.” 

“Okay, all of us apart from Jack,” conceded Nick. “And sometimes this is the result. It's not a bundle of laughs at times, but you've got to do it. Besides,” and here, Nick's mouth twitched, “how do you think Garrett would react if he heard you whining like this over a bit of snow?” 

Matt glared at him for a second. “He'd be tutting at me, wouldn't he?” 

“Yep, he would. But then he'd wrap you up in a blanket afterwards and plonk you in front of the fire...well, actually, maybe in front of the radiator would be more accurate, given what happened the last time he tried to light a fire!” said Nick, laughing.    

John's mouth twitched slightly as he listened to the chatter between his two friends and remembered exactly why he had fallen in love with Nick. He just loved watching the way his eyes sparkled and danced when he laughed and the way the little dimples would form in his rosy cheeks when he smiled. He loved how Nick's long red hair floated gently around his face and twirled its way around his finger and then dropped in soft curls over his shoulders and his back. He loved the way that, even when he fell asleep at the opposite end of the bed, he would somehow still wake up wrapped around John and making that soft purring noise as he opened his eyes and smiled that sleepy grin before leaning over to claim his morning kiss. 

He smiled softly to himself. When it came to how he felt about Nick, he knew that it wasn't about sex like so many of his other relationships had been. It was so much more than that; it was those little moments where they were just sat together, either in front of the television on a night off, or with Nick bandaging up whatever new injury John had incurred that day (despite his immortality, he still managed to get himself injured a lot) or even like just now when they were sat together in the back of the SUV driving out to the Brecon Beacons. 

Suddenly, Jack swerved violently as something rushed out of the shadows in front of them. In the glare from the headlights, everyone caught sight of a flash of orange and a very familiar looking bipedal shape.

“Blowfish!” yelled Nick and abruptly leaned over John and out of the window, aiming his gun at it. 

“Don't you dare!” shouted John, attempting to pull his partner back into the car as Jack tried to avoid the alien as it fired shots off at the car. “That thing could kill you!” 

“Jack, stop the car!” shouted Nick, completely ignoring John. Jack did so – though clearly it was against his better judgement since the Blowfish was now barely two feet away from them – and, barely a second later, Nick fired a shot straight into the head of the gun-wielding bipedal fish. The alien crumpled to the ground, though not before it had yelled out a very annoyed curse. 

Matt grimaced and craned his neck around the others. “Right, so we've managed to get Blowfish brains all over one side of the car,” he said. “I don't think Ianto's going to be too happy about that, since he's the one who cleans it.” 

“I think he's had plenty of practice cleaning the SUV before, actually,” said Nick as he opened the door and scanned the area, his gun out and ready. “And besides, he'll probably just be relieved that we're not dead.”   

“Not for the lack of trying in some cases, though,” muttered John with a scowl. “Really, Nick, what were you thinking, sticking your head out of the car like that? You could have had your brains blown out!” 

“I had a clear view of him,” explained Nick. “But I couldn't have brought the shot off if Jack was still driving. So, I asked him to stop and then got the hit off.”

“Oh,” said John quietly, scuffing his foot against the ground. “Okay, I see.”

Nick cocked his eyebrow at him. “Hey,” he said, reaching out to wrap his arm around him. “I wouldn't have taken the shot if I didn't think I could. I won’t put myself in danger intentionally, okay? Don't worry about that.”

John sighed. “I know. I just don't want you to get hurt.” 

“I know. But don't worry, okay? If there was one thing I did learn at the Time Agency, it was better self-preservation skills!”  

Meanwhile, Matt had finished burying the Blowfish six feet down and covering the corpse with soil. He straightened up and wiped his forehead. “Was that what we came here for? To take out  _ another  _ Blowfish?” 

“Nope,” said Jack. He consulted his wrist strap. “According to this, we actually came here for something that's a little further up this way. Come on.” 

They piled back into the car and drove on for several minutes, John periodically checking their tech to check exactly where the Rift had been active and giving Jack the co-ordinates. Eventually, they came to a secluded clearing with a small stream running through it, though the water had long since turned to ice and the tree branches were almost weighted down by the snow covering them, snow which had also covered most of the ground, so it was very hard to see where they were going and, more than once, someone had a nasty surprise when they slipped on one of the large and flat stones that were hidden underneath the snow. 

“You know, I know it's not exactly fun walking through here,” remarked Nick as he picked himself up for the third time. “But you have to admit, it is beautiful.” 

“Yeah, it is,” said Jack. “And it also reminds me of the infamous snowball fight of Christmas 2009.” 

“Oh, yes, I remember that!” laughed John. “I also seem to recall that you gloated up a storm afterwards, because you managed to pin Ianto to the ground and keep him there!” 

“And I also seem to recall that you said I was just too much for you, John!” retorted Nick. “In fact, I seem to remember a very impressive piece of theatre where you collapsed onto the ground, panting the words out!” 

“Shut it, you.” John had scooped up a handful of snow. “I'm armed.” 

Jack shook his head. “Come on, kids, we can have a snowball fight later. Matt's just said that he's found whatever it was that the Rift dropped off.”

John sighed and dropped the snow, but then clasped Nick's hand and together they rushed after Jack towards the frozen waterfalls that were glistening in amongst the trees. Matt was leaning over something, but when he looked up and saw them, he started waving frantically.

“Nick, I need help here!” he shouted. “I'm not sure what's been dropped off, but it's been badly injured!”   

Nick shouted back that they were on their way and rushed over to his friend, John and Jack hot on his heels. John looked at the creature lying on the ground and gasped. “Jack, is this what I think it is?” 

If anyone else had been here, they might have thought that they were looking at a dragon, possibly straight out of the pages of Pern. Indeed, the beautiful cobalt blue creature did look very much like one of the fictional beasts, though where another dragon might have had claws, she – for, on closer inspection, John realised that it was a female – had only short nails as bright as silver, but as soft and unthreatening as a cloud on a warm spring day and her wings were white and as thin as parchment though with soft flickers of silver, like moonlight, shining through them.  

She looked up at them through her deep blue eyes, which seemed oddly faded, far from the usual vibrant colour that they should be and let out a pain-filled moan that shattered the heart of every man present. At the same time, she struggled to lift one of her enormous silken wings and everyone gasped as they realised that, not only had the wing been ripped apart, but that the shreds of delicate skin were almost soaked through with what anyone else might have taken to be water, but when the team looked closer, realised was in fact blood, streaming from a gaping wound in her side. 

Nick dropped to his knees, evidently not bothered about the cold snow and reached for his medical kit. “What is it?” he whispered, lightly resting a hand on the creature’s head and stroking it lightly to soothe her. 

“One of the aatiae from Caspyraea,” said Jack quietly. “One of the most affectionate and beloved creatures in the entire universe, they’re elemental creatures.”

“What does that mean?”

John pointed. “You see there, she’s licking at the snow?” Nick nodded. “She’s an aatia of water. It means she needs water to survive. It’s how they live; some rely on water, some on air, some on earth and some on fire.”  

“But if she survives on water, then why is she so…” Matt furrowed his brow, hunting for the right word, “wounded? Could that wound have caused so much damage?”

“It’s possible, if they’re a peaceful breed who can’t know how to defend themselves,” said Nick quietly. He looked up, his eyes damp. “Who, or what, would do something like this?” 

“Poachers,” said Jack sadly. “Aatia wings are used to make beautiful clothes – I’ve seen a simple shirt sell for thousands, millions even, in some places – and their nails are used in jewellery making and can fetch an absolute fortune on their own, especially on the black market.” 

He bent down and looked at the beautiful creature. “They’re also incredibly hard to catch, because they can fly away almost in an instant, rather like teleporting. Anyone who manages to catch, and kill, an aatia would be instantly guaranteed a fortune. But it looks like this one didn’t manage to get out of the way of the poacher in time because her wing was so shredded.” He gave Nick a grim smile. “All aatiae rely on their wings to allow them to move quickly and if one is damaged…” he shook his head sadly. “Then, they’re almost already dead as it is.” 

At that moment, the aatia suddenly scrunched her eyes up tightly and her face took on an expression of almost indescribable distress. She then started whimpering and crying out in pain, as if she was looking for something she had lost, but knew that she’d never find it. Immediately, Nick started stroking her head again, trying to calm her, but as soon as he touched her, his expression changed to one identical to hers and he collapsed onto the snow with a despairing moan. “No…”

John rushed over and picked him up. “Nick!” He gently patted the younger man’s cheeks. “Nick, it’s John; you’re going to be all right, I’ve got you. Just take your hand off her head.”

Nick blinked up at his partner as his hand dropped back to his side. He opened his eyes properly. “John?” he whispered. “John, what happened? I…I just touched her head and…” he shuddered. “God, I’ve never heard anything like it. It just rips right through you…turns you cold inside and shatters your heart.”  

Jack knelt down in front of him. “You heard the dying cry of her mate,” he said gently. “The aatiae have a connection with their mates and their children which lets them know whenever anything happens to them so that they can come to help. But sometimes, when they feel intense emotion, anyone touching them can share that connection while contact is made. When she heard her mate scream, she became distressed because she couldn’t get home to help…and she had to hear him die as clearly as if she had been there when it happened.” 

Nick shut his eyes. “I felt her distress,” he murmured. “She was crying inside because she couldn’t get to him…” He looked at the two former Time Agents. “And then, there was…nothing. Just this empty space where she’d been a moment before.”

“That was me telling you to lose contact with her,” said John. “When you did that, you cut the connection between the two of you.” 

“No…no, it was before I heard you. I heard her voice, but then…then she just disappeared…” Nick’s voice trailed off when he looked up and saw Jack bending over the now prone form of the aatia. “Jack?” 

“She’s gone,” said Jack, his voice slightly hoarse. “She was already weakened because of her injury and the exhaustion of her jump through the Rift. But the sound of her mate’s death cry shattered her beyond repair.” He closed his eyes and rested his hand on the aatia’s head. 

John reached out and put his arm around Nick’s shoulders, drawing him close and letting him rest his head on his shoulder. He squeezed his hand gently and dropped a kiss onto his forehead, just letting him relax as the shock of what had just happened slowly left his system until he almost melted against him, his arms slowly going around John’s waist and his breathing slow and even once again.

Suddenly, John heard a strange noise that caused him to look up and glance around. Instinctively, his hand went to his gun, but Jack shook his head and beckoned to where the dead aatia had been lying only a few moments before. It seemed that Jack had also heard the noise and had moved her body to investigate. 

Curiously, John shuffled over to look and gasped when he saw a cluster of six tiny shapes shifting around in the snow. Looking closer, he saw that some of them were blue just like the older aatia and some of them a beautiful bright orange with pale yellow wings and eyes the colour of melted amber, just like Nick’s hair which two of them, having just escaped from their freezing nest, were crawling towards and now attempting to chew on, though Nick himself hadn’t noticed. 

“She was pregnant?” he whispered. 

Jack nodded. “Something, possibly the jump through time and space, must have triggered the labour.” He picked one of the other orange ones and frowned as it let out a tiny sound, clearly squeaking with cold. “John, these ones are freezing; they won’t survive long if…” he let the sentence trail off and sighed. 

At that moment, one of the ones clinging onto Nick’s hair pulled hard on a few strands, jerking the young man upright again. He blinked and looked around, his jaw dropping open when he saw the babies. “Are these…her babies?” he whispered, gently removing the two from his hair and holding them in his hands. “They’re so small.” 

“Yes,” whispered Jack. “Her mate must have been an aatia who survives on fire. That means that some of them are going to need fire and heat if they’re going to survive.” He chuckled softly. “And it seems as if they’ve mistaken Nick’s hair for their element!”

John frowned as he watched the four orange babies move slowly towards Nick, almost as if they were in pain from the freezing cold snow, and crawl into his hands, some of them reaching up to try and touch his hair, only to recoil back when they realised that it didn’t carry the comforting warmth they yearned for. He frowned. While the two blue babies were happily crawling around and eating the snow, watched by Jack, the others were gasping and hissing from the cold as they trembled in Nick’s hands. 

_ Jack’s right. If we don’t do something quickly, those babies aren’t going to survive.  _

“Nick,” he said quietly, looking at his lover, “you have the power to help them. I know you hate using it, but do it just this once…for them.”  

“John, you shouldn’t force him to use that power,” said Jack reprovingly, “You know he hates it.” To Nick, he said, “Don’t worry about it. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.” 

“No,” said Nick, who had been staring at the baby aatiae. “John’s right. If there’s a way to help them, then that’s what I’ll do, whatever it is.” 

John smiled at him. “I trust you, Nick. Now, you just need to trust yourself. You can do this. Just stay calm.” 

“I know,” whispered Nick, although he was trembling slightly and his face was a little pale. “Just promise me that if it gets out of control…”

“I’ll stop you,” promised John. “At the first sign of anything going wrong, I’ll stop you.” 

“I’ll go with Matt to get something to put the water babies in with some of the snow,” said Jack, getting up and gathering the snow on which the blue babies were playing in his hands. “Did that sound as weird as I thought it did?” 

Nick huffed out a small laugh before he looked back down at the orange aatiae. John smiled and watched as, very slowly, a pale yellow glow started to form in his partner’s hands, glowing brighter and brighter by the minute. For a second, Nick looked frightened at how fast the flames were growing and John wondered if he was going to call the whole thing off. But then, he heard a soft warbling sound that whispered through the clearing and warmed the air around him and slowly came over to look at Nick. 

“Wow,” he whispered, watching the tiny babies now happily singing and fluttering around in the ring of fire in Nick's hands. “Look at them.”

“I know.” Nick's eyes were shining in the light of the flames as he looked up and grinned at John. “They're so beautiful.” Suddenly, he grinned. “Do you think Jack will let me keep them?” 

***

_ Next Time: The Doctor arrives for John’s stag night, but where will he end up taking them?  _

  
  



	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor shows up for John's stag do...where will he take them?

_9_ _th_ _June 2013..._

“How about this one then, Jack?” asked John as he tried on what felt like the five millionth outfit – this one consisting of a pair of black trousers, a purple and white tunic with a frilled bottom and embroidery and white high-heeled boots. He twirled round in front of the mirror and grinned at his friend.

Jack blinked. “You are kidding me, right?” he half-squeaked. “I mean, that's a nice outfit, but...” but John cut him off when he burst out laughing. 

“Of course I'm joking! Catrin brought these over earlier and dared me to wear them in front of you just so I could freak you out – and judging by the look of your face, I succeeded!”

“You did not freak me out!” protested Jack.

“Sure I didn't.” John laughed and wriggled out of the tunic. “Jack, your eyes look as if they're about to burst out of your head – and no, I don't want to know if that's ever happened to you!”

Jack's mouth twitched slightly. “Hey, you can at least wait for me to get out of the room before you start getting your trousers off!” he spluttered.

John snorted. “What? There was a time when you loved watching me get my trousers off. And may I just say,” he added, running his gaze up and down the skin-tight black trousers and matching army coat that Jack was wearing, “that you look good enough to eat in that outfit.” He was even more pleased to note that his friend had also decided not to wear a shirt and so he was showing off his perfectly toned chest, dark with his seemingly ever present suntan.

 Jack nodded. “I was trying for the sexy Captain look,” he explained and revealed his old air force cap from behind his back which he then placed on his head at a rakish angle before hooking his thumbs into the waistband of his trousers. “Like it, soldier?”

 “Very nice,” said John with a grin. “But what about me?”

 “Hmm.” Jack started rifling through John and Nick's large wardrobe, tutting disapprovingly as he did so. “Shit, John, hasn't Nick managed to teach you how to hang your clothes up?!”

“Nope,” said John cheerfully. It was true; his half of the wardrobe looked as if a bomb had hit it, creating a massive avalanche of socks, tops and belts, whereas Nick's clothes, while still not strictly categorised and sorted according to type the way John suspected Ianto's would be, had at least been folded neatly and put away on the shelves, or, in the case of his suits, hung up (although the basket of dirty washing was almost overflowing onto the floor by this point). “But, you know, feel free to make even more of a mess!” _Just make sure you don’t mess up Nick’s clothes, otherwise he_ will _have your hide,_ he thought with a barely suppressed chuckle.

 “No need!” Jack yelled triumphantly. “Try this for size!” He pulled out a dark blue T-shirt and a pair of very tight black leather trousers with a silver studs and fringing on the side with a matching waistcoat and black cowboy hat with a rather ostentatious golden red feather in it. “Remember this?”

 John's jaw dropped open. “Where on earth did you find that?” he half-shouted, grabbing the hat. “I thought I threw that out years ago!”

 “It was in that black bag you loved carrying around so much,” said Jack. “You know, the one with the gold phoenix on the front. If I recall correctly, that got you into quite a bit of trouble with the Agency, because they thought you'd give yourself away too easily if we were ever on a covert mission!”

“Please,” snorted John. “As if I'd have been stupid enough to do something like that – although, to be fair, it wasn’t as if the Agency was exactly unknown back then.” He tried the hat on and preened in front of the mirror, not caring that he was now only wearing his boxer shorts and his sister-in-law's calf length white cowboy boots. “Besides, I seem to recall you rather liked your one with the dog on it – didn't you keep using it as a pillow?”

“Hey, that leather was very soft!” Jack protested as he unearthed the phoenix bag and tossed it onto the bed. “I was quite upset when it finally gave up the ghost, though.”

“I remember.” John pulled the T-shirt on and grinned at the familiar silver wings on the front. “Looking good,” he whispered to himself as he fastened the trousers on. “Looking _really_ good.”

Jack wolf-whistled. “Damn,” he whispered. “If you weren't getting married and I didn't have Ianto...”

 “But I am, and you do,” said John. “Although, if you and Eye Candy ever fancy another one of those orgies...”  

 “Then you two will be the first to know.”

 “Very good to know.” John slipped the waistcoat on over his T-shirt and donned his hat, tilting it at a similar angle to Jack's. He drew his hands up his thighs and made a motion with his fingers that seemed to suggest he was twirling a pair of pistols. “You feelin' lucky, _punk_?”

“Extremely,” Jack answered with a rakish grin. “Now, let's get to the Hub, the Doctor will be here soon!”

~*~

 Nick’s mouth was hanging open when the two former Time Agents entered the Hub. “Damn!” he gasped. “You two look good enough to eat!” His brown eyes lingered firstly on the way that John’s tight trousers clung to him – and seemed to John to cling even tighter when Nick looked at him – and then drifted towards Jack’s chest, at which point the other man instantly started preening with an almost indecent smile on his face.

Ianto came over and slapped his cousin playfully on the arm. “Oi,” he said. “Check out your own boyfriend!” But he was laughing and it was plain that he wasn’t really annoyed.  

“That’s fiancé, actually,” said Nick, waving his hand around and showing off the ring on his finger. The colours in the metal danced and sparkled in the new lights that had recently been fitted in the Hub.  

Jack grinned. “You two aren't looking too bad yourselves.” Indeed, the two Jones men were, in every sense of the word, dressed to kill. Ianto was wearing dark blue jeans that were so tight they looked as if they'd been painted onto his legs, a black studded belt and an emerald green T-shirt with a short blue jacket over the top.

 On his other side, Nick was dressed in black skinny jeans, tucked into black calf-length leather boots and a figure-hugging dark red shirt with an elaborate gold dragon embroidered on one side with little red stones for eyes and coloured stones periodically added as if to signify scales. He had also tossed his new black leather jacket – or, as John called it, his ‘S&M jacket’ – tossed over his shoulder as he leaned casually against the wall, one hand on his hip and a soft pout on his lips.

 Ianto rolled his eyes at him from his place on the sofa. “Poser,” he said.

 John grinned. “Oh, but he does it so well.” He strolled over to Nick, drew him in by the waist with one hand and cupped his face with the other and then he kissed him. “Hi.”

 “Hi, yourself,” answered Nick. “Gorgeous.”

John chuckled. “Are you wearing raspberry lip gloss?” he asked, licking his lips.

 “You like that?” Nick wound his arms around John’s waist and proceeded to kiss and nibble at the skin on his neck. “Oh, yes, of course you like that, don’t you? Raspberry’s like an aphrodisiac to you, isn’t it?” His hands found their way underneath John’s T-shirt and started rubbing circles over his abdomen.

 “Dammit, Nick!” John gasped as he finally managed to pull away. “You are not making this ‘no sex before the wedding night’ pact any easier!”

“Of course not,” said Nick simply. “Where would be the fun in that?”

Ianto nodded. “I heartily agree,” he said with a grin towards Jack, whose eyes had been practically bugging out of his head as he’d watched Nick mauling his partner.

John sighed. “Right, well…where are Matt and Garrett?”

“In the showers with Andie and Emily,” said Nick. “No, not like that, you dirty-minded buggers!” he added as Jack’s eyes bugged out even more and John looked all set to rush straight down there. “The girls are trying to get them dressed for tonight in something different to what they usually wear. But apparently, they’re a little bit…reluctant – or, rather, _Garrett’s_ a little bit reluctant.”

 Right on cue, Garrett came back upstairs, looking very pink about the gills and wearing tight black trousers and a half-open shirt that would have looked like something out of Pride and Prejudice, were it not for the fact that it was made of shimmery dark green fabric. He turned around and glared at Emily, who had followed him. “No way!” he said. “I look ridiculous!”

 “No, you don’t!” protested Emily. “You look great!”

“Great?!” Garrett stared at her. “I look like…I look like…” 

“A young and black-haired Michael Flatley?” suggested Nick, helpfully.   

 “Yes!” Garrett nodded and then blinked. “Hey!”

 “Who’s Michael Flatley?” asked John. 

“He was the male lead in Riverdance for years,” explained Jack. “Great dancer, but really full of himself. But he was all mouth and no trousers – at least in my experience, he was.”

“Oh, was he the guy who said that Riverdance wouldn’t continue on without him or something?” asked John. Jack nodded. “Well, that turned out to be rubbish, didn’t it?”

Garrett, who moments before had been staring at Jack incredulously, blinked. “That’s not even the point!” he said. “Emily, if anyone should be looking like Michael Flatley, surely it should be Matt – he’s actually Irish!” 

“But it is your shirt,” protested Emily. “Isn’t it? I mean, it was in your locker.”

“Yes, it is, but it wasn’t meant to be worn like this!” He turned on his heel and stormed off back down to the showers, his black hair flying behind him. 

A moment later, Matt came up, looking surprised but pleased. “I have to say, I wasn’t really sure about this at first, but this actually looks pretty good.” He was wearing black trousers like Garrett, but his were paired with a dark blue shirt and loosely fastened black tie with a black trilby placed on his head at a similar angle to Jack’s own hat.

 “You look like a jazz star,” said Jack, grinning. “It suits you.”

 “Yeah, it does rather.” Matt smoothed down his shirt. “Where’s Garry?”

 “Ran back downstairs so he could sort his shirt out to look the way he says it _should_ look,” chuckled Nick.

 “God, that shirt,” said Matt, laughing. “Quite what possessed him to buy it, I don’t know, but he seems to like it. Personally, I think it looks like something Michael Flatley would wear.”

 “Funny that,” said Emily. “Nick just said the same thing.”

Nick shrugged. “You never know, though. Garrett might just prove us wrong and make it look good.” 

At that moment and, John thought, as if he was trying to prove that very point, Garrett returned to the main floor, this time with a grin on his face. He was still wearing the green shirt, but he’d unfastened all the buttons and added a black vest underneath with a matching dog collar around his neck. 

“Now, this is how a shirt like this should be worn,” he said.

 “I have to agree,” said Nick. Matt couldn’t speak; his jaw was hanging open as he started at his partner. 

“One of you four had better have packed a camera, because I am going to want pictures of whatever it is you get up to!” Ianto warned. 

“Same here,” said John. “Now, Jack, where is that bloody Time Lord?”

“He should be –” but Jack was cut off by a loud whirring sound that filled the Hub and instantly caused Emily, Matt and Garrett to whip out their guns and also brought the rest of the team from wherever they had been. A moment later, to the collective surprise of most of the onlookers – apart from Jack and John, who were grinning and rubbing their hands together, and Ianto who was watching with curiosity – a large blue shape slowly materialised in the middle of the floor. A shape that looked very much like… 

“It’s a police telephone box,” said Nick, and John was forced to agree. The object that had just appeared in front of them did indeed look very much like an old-fashioned telephone booth.  But then, the door opened and a man with messy brown hair and twinkling dark eyes, and wearing a pinstriped suit, stepped out. He clapped his hands and glanced around, apparently taking everything in before his eyes finally fixed on the group watching him with a mixture of amusement, confusion and outright suspicion.

“Oh, hello!” he said, a broad smile suddenly appearing on his face as he did a very theatrical jump in the air. “You must be Jack’s team! And where is the man himself, if I may ask?”

“I’m right here,” said Jack.

“Oh, yes, of course you are!” The man’s grin broadened and he slapped Jack hard on the back. “Er, why are those three training guns on me?” 

“Maybe because, as far as they’re concerned, a strange man has just appeared travelling in what appears to be a police box,” said John rather dryly. 

“Right, yes, of course! Sorry about that!” He clapped his hands and grinned even more broadly. “I’m the Doctor. And this,” he patted the police box, “is the TARDIS.”

 “Oi!” A woman with long red hair and a rather annoyed look on her face stepped outside. “And what about me, Spaceboy, hmm? Going to introduce me or just leave me standing around like a lemon?”

 “Right!” The Doctor instantly stepped aside. “This is Donna Noble, my companion. Donna this is…” he then looked towards Jack for help.

“My team,” said Jack quickly. “John Hart, the Joneses, Ianto and Nick –” 

“Hold on!” said the Doctor. “Which one is Ianto and which is Nick?”

That question proved to be a serious mistake, as the two men in question looked at each other, smirked and then turned back to him. “Me.”

John snorted. “Ianto’s the brunette, Nick’s the redhead and the other groom-to-be.” He dropped his voice. “And Ianto is also Jack’s partner.” 

“Ah.” The Doctor nodded. “That might explain the murderous glare he gave me when I stepped out.” He looked at Ianto. “Would it make it better if I said I was sorry for how I treated your partner?”

 “Maybe a little,” said Ianto coolly. “But if you _ever_ hurt him like that again, I swear, I _will_ regenerate you.”

 The Doctor swallowed and nodded. “Duly noted.”

 “It had better be.”

 Jack, evidently sensing that the situation might be about to get dangerous, quickly continued with his introductions. “The trio who had guns pointed at you are Emily Potter, Matt Davies and his partner, Garrett Evans.” The three nodded, although Garrett still looked mistrustful. “And the three blondes there are former PC Andrew Davidson, Andrea, or Andie, Carlowe, and Declan Hamilton…who is quite probably the most hyperactive New Zealander on this planet.”

“And I’m very proud of it!” retorted Declan as he scurried forwards to shake the Doctor’s hand. “A pleasure!” 

“Likewise,” said the Doctor, although he looked slightly unsettled. 

“So,” said Nick. “Why do you travel around in a police box?”

“Because he likes to make a point, of course,” said Donna. “Don’t you, Spaceboy?”

“Of course I do,” said the Doctor. “And before we continue, it’s not a police box, it’s a TARDIS. Stands for –”  

“Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” interrupted Ianto.

The Doctor gaped. “How did you know that?!”

 “Ianto knows everything,” said Nick simply. “And I’ve also just noticed that someone’s carved it into the wood at the bottom.” He knelt down and pointed out some very faintly traced shapes. “But, if you ask me, it still looks like a police telephone box. Still, I guess it means you’re never out of signal range.”

 Donna’s mouth opened slightly. “Oh, I _like_ you two!”

 “Yes, well, sadly, their partners seem to like them too,” said the Doctor. “Anyway, the point I try to make is that...not everything is exactly as it seems. Take a look in the TARDIS for instance.”

 Declan, who had clearly been desperate to have a look inside the police box ever since it had landed, grinned and bounded inside. There was a brief silence before he yelled out a now familiar exclamation.

 “No. Way!”

Donna chuckled. “I seem to recall that was my first thought when I saw inside that thing.”

Declan bounded out again and raced around the TARDIS, his eyes wide with amazement. “But...” he stammered. “But...”

“Yes?” said the Doctor mildly. John started laughing; the young New Zealander looked like a gaping fish.

“But...but...it's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!”

“Indeed it is! You win the prize!” The Doctor fished a chocolate bar out of his pocket and tossed it to Declan, who caught it one-handed. “Oh, well taken, very well taken!” 

Jack blinked. “Chocolate?”

“Oh, yes, it's a new thing I'm trying out – when we go anywhere new, the first person to notice that the TARDIS is bigger on the inside gets a chocolate bar. Brilliant with children.” The Doctor quirked an eyebrow at him. “Don't pout, Jack; you probably eat enough chocolate as it is.”

 Jack didn't miss a beat. “I don't count licking chocolate-flavoured body paint off Ianto as eating chocolate, actually, Doctor.”

 “Jack!” Ianto hissed, blushing violently. “I don't think anyone in this room needs to hear this!”

 “Ooh, no, tell me more!” Donna was grinning at Jack.

“Right, well, time to go!” the Doctor said suddenly. “Come on – everyone who's going with us, into the TARDIS!” 

“That would be me, Jack, Matt and Garrett,” said John and then leaned over to whisper in the Doctor's ear. “We're hoping to get Garrett to lighten up – the man has a redwood the size of General Sherman up his arse – and we figured a night sampling the delights of the Vegas Galaxies would work wonders.”

“And I think you would be right.” The Doctor grinned broadly. “Right-o, boys! Vegas Galaxies, here we come!”

“Oh yes!” John leapt into the air and clicked his heels before scuttling into the TARDIS. “See you!”

“John!” yelled Nick. “Make sure you don't get my sister's cowboy boots dirty, because she will skin you alive if you do, immortal or not!”   

Silence followed as everyone turned around and looked at John with expressions ranging from amusement to incredulity. But he just nodded and smiled at Nick. “Consider me warned.” Then, he blew a kiss, chuckling as his partner caught it and disappeared inside the TARDIS, closing the door behind him, giving the others a grin and a thumbs-up sign.

Jack clapped his hands. “Okay, Doc!” he said. “Let's go!” 

“Vegas Galaxies, here we come!” The Doctor pulled on a lever and grinned at the others. “ _Allons-y_!”

** 

_Next Time: The group arrive at the Vegas Galaxies, but find that things are not quite what they expected. And will the others manage to get Garrett to lighten up?_

  



	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group arrive at the Vegas Galaxies...but is all as it should be?

_ “Vegas Galaxies, here we come!” The Doctor pulled on a lever and grinned at the others.  _ “Allons-y!” 

There was a brief pause before the TARDIS gave a sudden and rather violent lurch before actually taking off the ground and sending everyone spinning around the room at what felt like a thousand miles an hour, and, knowing the Doctor, might well actually be a thousand miles an hour. 

John grabbed onto the wall and threw out a hand to catch Matt and Garrett, who were now holding onto each other for dear life. “Does the place he comes from have a test for driving these things?” he asked Donna. 

“More to the point, did he even take the test if there is one?!” shouted Garrett.

“Yes, and I failed!” the Doctor yelled from where he was frantically fiddling with some of the controls. Unfortunately, that only served to make the TARDIS swerve violently from side to side. “Sorry – seems she's decided to take us through an asteroid belt!” 

“And who decided to give her those co-ordinates?” asked Jack, who, for some reason, was the only one who had been able to stay standing up. 

“I did.” The Doctor grinned impishly. “Oh, come on, what's wrong with a little bit of danger! Makes life more exciting, doesn't it?” 

“That's a matter of opinion,” muttered Garrett, who was looking almost as green as his shirt. 

“I keep telling him he should let me drive it!” growled Donna. “But, oh, no, he insists on doing it himself! Honestly, boys and their toys!” She shook her head, but then stumbled back and almost fell as the TARDIS made another very abrupt swerve through the fabric of time and space. Jack managed to catch her before she hit the ground and gently set her on her feet with a grin as he pretended to dust her down.

“Ooooh!” she gushed, blushing. “Why, thank you, Captain!” 

“Don't,” the Doctor warned, without looking up. “Just don't.” 

“What?” Donna turned a glare in the direction of the Time Lord. “He's just being a gentleman, which is more than I can sometimes say for you, Spaceboy!” 

“Tell me about it,” muttered Jack, still smiling, but with a slight catch in his voice that was only noticeable to anyone who knew to listen out for it.

John came over, ostensibly to join in the conversation, but he gently rested a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder. “Donna,” he said, “I think I love you.” 

“Aha!” The Doctor suddenly leapt up and clapped his hands, making everyone jump. “We're here!”

“Finally,” said Garrett, staggering back to his feet. “That was nearly as bad as Jack's driving.”

“Hey!” Jack protested.  

“Yeah, sorry about that,” said the Doctor, actually looking slightly sheepish. 

“Well, at least we're here now,” said John with a grin. “Now, let's go and get plastered and dance naked in a giant bath full of chocolate!” 

Jack blinked. “Didn't we do that on Barcelona?” 

“Oh yes!” John grinned. “Got banned from the place indefinitely as I recall.” 

“Anyway...” the Doctor said, appearing now with a silver tray and six small glasses of what looked like champagne which he handed out to everyone (after assuring them that it wasn't poisonous). “I propose a toast.” He raised his glass and looked around. “John, I hope you and Nick have a beautiful wedding and many happy and prosperous years ahead of you.” 

“Thank you,” said John grinning.

“To John and Nick,” said Donna, a sentiment that was echoed by everyone around them as they clinked their glasses and, somewhat slowly after their trip, sipped the champagne. 

“Right!” shouted the Doctor, bounding over to the door. “Out here is the famous Luxorian Nebula, the biggest and best part of the Vegas Galaxies!”

“Because you don't have to spend any money!” crowed John, who was now bouncing on the balls of his feet and holding up several bags of cherries and grapes. “You just have to make an offering of fruit to their great god, Imhotep!”

Matt blinked. “Are you seriously telling me that the corpse from The Mummy got deified?!” 

“The corpse from The Mummy or the famous Egyptian architect,” said the Doctor, shrugging. “Depends who you ask. Anyway,” he turned back to them and grinned. “ _ Allons-y _ !”

John, who was now buzzing in anticipation, rushed over to where the Doctor had opened the TARDIS doors. He was grinning wildly at the thought of scantily clad dancers, cheesy music blaring from every corner, tables groaning with different types of food and, most importantly, alcohol and debauchery! 

“Here we come!” he shouted, rushing out of the doors with his eyes closed and standing still, waiting for the traditional greeting that consisted of a shower of sweet-tasting flower petals and a blast of welcoming music before being escorted away for a massage by the owners of the planet, who always seemed to know exactly how to tailor-make the experience for each and every new arrival.  

But after he had stood there in complete silence, he started to feel nervous and wondered if something had gone wrong. The uneasy murmuring from behind him only served to heighten this feeling and he slowly opened his eyes and looked around.

“What the fuck?!” he blurted out. 

Instead of the bright lights and the wild sounds he usually associated with the Luxorian Galaxies, he was faced by a large and cold room made entirely out of bleak grey stone with grim looking slits for windows. Ahead of him was a long corridor that was lit by a few flickering candles on the walls, but he could hear very faint singing in the distance as the voices echoed down the walls. It didn't sound like anything he recognised, but he figured that they must have come to a different time for a change. 

“Oh well,” he said. “Nothing wrong with going in round the back entrance. Come on, guys.”

Jack snickered as the others followed him. “I remember a time when we always used the back entrance,” he muttered, ignoring the eyeroll he got from the Doctor. 

“Best entrance to use, if you ask me,” said Garrett with a laugh. 

Matt gaped at his partner. “Did you really just say that?!” 

“I...” Garrett blinked a few times, looking like the proverbial rabbit in the headlights before he quickly re-arranged his expression to something more neutral. “You don't say a word to anyone!” 

“Sir, no, Sir!” said Jack, offering a mocking salute. Matt and Donna both burst out laughing and even the Doctor grinned. 

“Come on, guys!” shouted John. “Just down this corridor is an absolute smorgasboard of delights just waiting to be sampled!”

“Yeah!” Jack yelled, getting into the groove of things. “A trackless jungle of bright lights and sounds, just waiting to be explored – and then suitably defiled!”

The Doctor rolled his eyes. “Jack, you just corrupted Mary Poppins!” he gasped, clutching his chest as if he was mortally offended. “Then again, this is the Vegas Galaxies – a place for legal corruption, so who am I to talk?” He grinned broadly at them all. “Off we go, then!” 

The group made their way down the corridor with John singing some of the most vulgar songs he could think of, enthusiastically joined by both Jack, Matt and, to everyone's surprise, Garrett, though the young Welshman only sang quietly until both his partner and Donna egged him on a bit more. 

“Seems like your friend is lightening up,” the Doctor whispered to John.

“Well, if anything will do it, it's a trip to the Vegas Galaxies,” John whispered back and then grinned as he saw beams of light shining ahead of them. “Aha!”

Jack grinned. “Oh, yes!” He high-fived John. “Here we go – time for madness, mayhem and –”

“Monks?” asked Donna, who had gone on ahead. “Because unless I'm very much mistaken, the people in that room are definitely monks.” 

“What?” John rushed over to where she was standing. “But...but that's impossible! There were only monks in the Vegas Galaxies back...” he trailed off when he saw exactly what she was looking at. “Back when it was still a monastery,” he finished.  

“Doctor,” said Donna, turning her piercing gaze on the Time Lord. “When you said that you failed your TARDIS driving test...did you also fail the time travelling test?”

“No, I passed that one!” the Doctor said defensively. “On the fiftieth attempt,” he added sheepishly. “But I passed it easily that time...well, sort of easily...okay, not easily at all. Okay, I was only half a mark off a fail. But I still passed it!” 

Jack had joined Donna and John by this point. “Any guesses as to when we are?” he asked. “Because it sure doesn't look like the right time.” 

John switched on his wrist strap and ran his finger down one of the walls, sprinkling some dust onto the scanner. He groaned as he looked at the results and then tested them again just to be sure. “We've travelled back in time,” he murmured. “Back to the eighteenth century...September 6 th , 1769, if I'm not mistaken.”  

The Doctor frowned. “September 6 th 1769,” he mused. “September 6 th ...why is that date so familiar?” 

Donna groaned. “Great, so we've ended up around the time of the invention of steam engines back home!” 

“Steam engines...steam engines...oh!” Suddenly, the Doctor clapped his hands. “Donna, you're brilliant!” He grabbed John's arm and thrust his wrist under his nose. “Look at this – look at this date!” 

John blinked at him several times and squinted. “6 th of the 9 th ...in the year '69,” he murmured. “I don't get it.” 

“Well, think about it! What else can you use steam for apart from engines?” 

“To power cars?” John shrugged. “I don't know...aeroplanes, boats, tractors...giraffes?”

“Giraffes?!” repeated the Doctor. “Who on earth wants a steam-powered giraffe?! No, you're thinking too big! Think smaller and...and more personal,” he said, blushing furiously. 

Jack and Donna exchanged looks and John knew that they were both thinking that they had never seen the Doctor look this uncomfortable. He frowned. What on earth could make a Time Lord, who had surely seen it all and more, blush like a teenage boy in sex education class?

“Hold that thought!” The Doctor's voice suddenly cut in. “Well, maybe not the bit about me being a teenage boy, but...well, the sex education bit! Think about what you learned in your sex education classes – not all of you!” he added as Matt and Garrett blinked. “Sorry, but I doubt you guys learned what these guys did.” 

Jack's eyes suddenly widened. “Doctor,” he said slowly. “Are you referring to a steam-powered dildo, by any chance?” He turned to John. “Don't you remember, we learned about the history of sex toys?”

“Thank you, Jack!” said the Doctor quickly. “But yes, that was what I was thinking. Donna's comment about steam engines got me thinking about what else you could use steam for and I remembered the steam-powered dildo was one of them, even though the patent was rejected.”

Garrett's mouth dropped open. “Why on earth would that be the first thing you thought of?!” 

“The mind of a Time Lord works in strange – and disturbing ways,” said the Doctor enigmatically. “But the point is, that reminded me exactly why this date is so important.” He took a deep breath. “The 6 th of the 9 th , '69...is the date that the Vegarian Monastery – where we are now – first becomes the Vegas Galaxies! A rather appropriate date, really, if you look at the numbers.”

“Oh, yeah,” said John. “Sixty-nine.” He giggled childishly.

“Yes, sixty-nine!” The Doctor clapped his hands. “Tonight is the night that the Debauched Ones arrived at the Monastery and started the process of turning it into the pleasure capital of the universe! Oh, yes!”  

“So, let me get this straight,” said John slowly. “You brought us here to witness the creation of the Vegas Galaxies?” He glanced around at everyone, a slow grin spreading over his face. “Cool! I've always wondered who those Debauched Ones were – I'd love to meet them and congratulate them!” 

“Actually,” said the Doctor slowly, “I didn't bring you here intentionally. I was all set to take you to the Vegas Galaxies when they were in their prime. Apparently, though, the TARDIS had other ideas.” 

“Are you sure it wasn't just because you ballsed up?” asked Donna.

“If it was any other date, I'd say yes,” said the Doctor. “But clearly, something happens today that we're meant to see...or at least know about.”

“Well, you did just say what it was,” said Jack, who by now had taken his jacket off, revealing his bare chest. 

“Hold it,” said Matt suddenly. “Doctor...you said that this was the day that these Debauched Ones started the creation of the Vegas Galaxies?”

“Well...yes...” The Doctor nodded.

“And that the TARDIS brought us here deliberately? To this time?” 

“Yes...” 

“And she wouldn't do that unless something was going to happen that we had to be there for – like the creation of the Vegas Galaxies?”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow at him. “Matt,” he said slowly, “you're a very intelligent man, but I really don't think Donna and I are quite in the right mould to create the Vegas Galaxies.”

“Oi!” said Donna. “Speak for yourself!” 

“Not you two,  _ those  _ two!” Matt exclaimed and pointed to his left.

John and Jack both blinked in unison. “What...us?”

“Yes.” Matt looked ready to bang his head into the wall. “You.  _ Both  _ of you.”

Garrett watched the two former Time Agents, both of whom were flat-out gaping. “Oh, stop looking so incredulous!” he exclaimed. “Seriously, if anyone was going to turn a monastery into an off-world Las Vegas, it would be you two!”  

“Finally!” Matt threw his hands into the air. “Someone who's actually on my wavelength!” 

“He does have a point,” said John. “Okay, Doc, so, if Jack and I are the Debauched Ones...what exactly do we have to do here?”

“Ah,” said the Doctor. “That I can't tell you.” 

“What?” exclaimed Donna, but Jack raised his eyebrows.

“He doesn't know,” he said, wagging his finger at the Doctor. “You  _ don't _ know, do you?”

“Only the journey is written, not the destination,” said the Doctor enigmatically.

“Convenient,” said John automatically.

“Oh, great!” groaned Garrett. “Please don't tell me there's another Mummy franchise fan here!” 

“Just the first two films,” said the Doctor quickly. “The third was an absolute waste of celluloid and I didn't even bother going to – anyway!” He clapped his hands. “I guess you'll just have to improvise with what you've got to hand, won't you, hmm?” He was grinning in an irritatingly sweet way. 

“Indeed we will,” said John, who was almost bouncing about on the tips of his toes in excitement. “And, Jack, I seem to remember that we're pretty good at improvisation.”

“Oh, I agree,” said Jack, grinning. “What did you have in mind that we can use,” he looked around, “handfuls of grapes and cherries for?”

“Well,” said John, “and this is just a shot in the dark, but...I'm thinking that we start by doing an impression of our dear celluloid friend, Mr. Jonathan Carnahan. You know,” he widened his eyes and put on a fake-zombie expression, while comically holding his arms out in front of him. “Im-ho-teppp...Im-ho-teppp....” He grinned at Jack. “You know, like they're doing in there, only much more of it. And then...”

“And then...what?” asked Garrett, looking interested despite himself. 

“Well,” said Jack. “This is where the  _ real  _ genius comes into play.”

“Oh, this I have to see!” crowed Donna.  

~*~

“Well, I have to say, Jack you really have outdone yourself this time!” shouted the Doctor as the group rushed back to the TARDIS. 

“It's not my fault!” shouted Jack. “No one expects to get into a fight with a group of asexual pacifist monks!” 

“Well, they're not such pacifists now, are they?” retorted Matt. “And I'm not sure they're exactly asexual either!” He pointed behind him where, even though several of the monks were chasing after them, a small group of them were sprawled on the floor surrounded by clouds of coloured smoke in various states of undress as they rubbed against each other and groaned loudly. 

John abruptly stopped at the sight, causing Jack and Donna to run into him. “Damn,” he said. “It looks like it really did work! Hey, Jack, we created the Vegas Galaxies! I told you getting in the middle of those guys would work out fine!” He eyed his friend up with a grin. “Nice muscles as well.”

“What?” Jack blinked and looked down at himself. “Aw, damn! They've got my jacket!” 

“Well, we're not going back for it now!” the Doctor yelled and then bodily lfited Jack in his arms and threw him onto the TARDIS floor. “Come on, come on!” 

“Where are we going now?” asked Donna as she slammed the doors behind her, ignoring Garrett's yell as she trapped his finger. “Because I was promised a stag night and if you don't –”

“Oh, you'll get your stag night!” yelled the Doctor as the TARDIS zoomed through space before making a very smooth landing, much to the astonishment of everyone after the rather uncomfortable journey.

“What the hell?” asked John. “How did you drive it so well then?”

“Ah, well, I do have my moments,” said the Doctor sagely. “Plus, let's face it, knowing exactly where you want to end up also helps a lot....well, sometimes.” He opened the door and glanced outside, before leaping in the air and cheering.

“Okay, I just hit my head hard there, but no matter, because I am a genius!” 

“Why?” asked Garrett warily. “Where are we?”  

“The Luxor Hotel!” The Doctor threw open the doors so that everyone could see where they were. “Welcome to Las Vegas, Nevada!” 

***

_ Next Time: What trouble will the boys and Donna get into in Las Vegas? And what about when they get home – what stories will Nick have to tell?  _   
  



	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stag party comes to a memorable climax with several surprises along the way!

The group stared out at the lobby, heaving with people laughing and dancing around, with some of them even occasionally pausing to flirt with the waiting staff. For a moment, John wondered if the Doctor had actually taken them to the Luxorian Nebula in its heyday rather than back to Earth, because the place really did look scarily like it – bright lights, blaring music and attractive men and women everywhere, some of them dressed very scantily indeed. However, a quick glance at his wrist strap told him that they were, in fact, exactly where the Time Lord had told them they were. 

“Wow...”  said Matt weakly. 

_ Wow is right _ , John thought to himself as he stared around the interior of the enormous pyramid shaped buildng.  _ I remember coming here back when it was first opened and damn, they've done a seriously good job of renovating it! It looks more vibrant than ever and, even better, it's absolutely packed out with tourists if all the noise is anything to go by. Oh, this is going to be good!  _

He rubbed his hands and grinned. “Jack?” he said slowly. 

“Yes, John?”

“Are you ready to make an entrance?” 

“Never been more ready in my life!” Jack clapped his hands together, but then stopped and frowned. “Er, Doctor?” he said. “Not to put too fine a point on it, but...how long have we been gone?” 

“What?” The Doctor blinked at him. “How long have you been...?”

“Gone, yes.” John instantly picked up on Jack's train of thought. “Because, I warn you now, Doctor, if you've made me miss my wedding, Ianto isn't going to have the chance to regenerate you, because I will do it first.” 

“Now would I do a thing like that?” asked the Doctor, affecting a hurt look. 

“Yes!” said Jack emphatically. “Or have you forgotten the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident already?”

The Doctor winced. “Touche. But, in my defence, that was a different regeneration!” He gave them what he clearly hoped was a winning smile, but then swallowed as John glared at him threateningly. “Right, well, anyway, I'll just go and check what the date is and when we are and everything.” With a slightly nervous nod, he bounded away to another part of the TARDIS, occasionally pausing to shift a couple of levers.

“What was the 'twelve months rather than twelve hours' incident?” asked Matt, frowning.   

“Well,” said Jack, twirling a few bits of hair around his fingers, “let's just say that, for a Time Lord, the Doctor isn't always very good at turning up or dropping people off when he should. He's been known to get it really wrong sometimes, actually.”

“If he has made me miss my wedding, I will regenerate him,” John reiterated, although despite his strong words, the image in his mind of Nick standing on the stage and the expression that crossed his face as he looked up and realised that his partner wasn't there tore at his heart. He blinked hard, trying to clear those thoughts and leaned against the TARDIS wall, breathing deeply. 

“Hey.” Jack reached over and tilted John's face upwards so that they were looking at each other. “We'll  back for the wedding, even if we have to break the laws of time itself.”

“You really think the Doctor would do that?” asked Garrett, looking sceptical.

“He might not,” said Jack. “But I would. I can see just how important this wedding is, John, and I will do anything to make sure that we're all back in time for it – and I mean, anything.”  

John blinked and mentally kicked himself. “You're right,” he said, grinning now. “We're former Time Agents, for God's sake – if anyone can break the rules of time and get away with it, we can!”

“That's debatable,” interjected the Doctor, who had reappeared a moment later. “But don't worry, you won't need to. We've only been away for a few hours. Nick and the others will probably only just have touched down in Amsterdam.”

“Amsterdam?!” exclaimed Jack, a broad grin crossing his face. “Cool!” 

“Yes, yes, they've got a few wild days ahead of them,” said the Doctor airily. “But never mind that now – it's time for me to give you guys the time of your life!”

“Oi!” exclaimed Donna. “I am still here, you know!” 

“You're included as well, Miss Noble!” insisted the Doctor. He cleared his throat loudly, causing everyone to cover their ears briefly. “And now, as promised...a night of debauchery, drinking and dancing!  _ Allon – _ ”

“Doctor!” interrrupted Garrett. “If you finish that word, I am going to...find something very sharp and very pointy and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!” 

“Ah, well you might have a problem with that, Dr. Evans!” yelled the time lord. “Because the sun shines out of my every orofice!”

“Or rather he thinks it does,” muttered Donna. 

“Well, regardless of whether he does or not, we're here for a purpose, right?!” said John, abruptly changing the subject. “Now, Jack, about making that entrance...I thought that since we're in an Egyptian themed place...”

“No!” exclaimed Matt. “For God's sake, we are not going to walk in here singing Walk Like an Egyptian!” 

John blinked. “Well, I guess it's true what they say about people turning into their partners,” he said. “Just a shame that the partner in question is so uptight.” 

“Hey!” protested Garrett, though it sounded more like a token protest than anything else. 

“Oh, come on, it's true!” laughed John. “And Matt, for your information, I wasn't planning on singing that song. I was thinking of something completely different.” 

“Like what, dressing up in Egyptian clothes or something?” asked Donna. 

John paused to consider it. “No, but that's a very good idea, Donna. I'll keep it in mind for if I come here again. No, I was thinking of something much more simple, but just as funny.”

“Oh, God,” said Jack, a huge grin spreading over his face. “John, you don't mean...” 

“Oh, yes I do,  _ amigo _ !” John clapped his hands and then stood erect and to attention, his eyes wide open and his hands pressed by his sides. Behind him, he could hear Jack beating out a soft rhythm on his knees and he strode out of the TARDIS, apparently not seeing anything and started chanting under his breath in a monotone. “Imhotep. Imhotep. Imhotep...”

“Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. Oh. My.  _ God! _ ” Matt stood in front of John, his eyebrows almost disappearing underneath the brim of his trilby. “I don't know why you don't just go and shag Imhotep!” 

“Tempting thought,” said John, running his tongue over his lips as images assaulted his mind. “Well, unless you're talking about the ragged corpse, of course.” He grinned wolfishly at Matt before Donna suddenly smacked him round the head. “Hey, what was that for?!”

“In case you hadn't noticed, Cowboy, tonight is your stag night,” she said icily. “You're supposed to be having fun and getting hammered, not hanging around in a police box imitating a comic idiot from The Mummy! Honestly, call yourselves the Debauched Ones?!”   

“She's right,” said Jack who had also come out. “God, John...what's happened to us? We used to be the life and soul of the party – literally.”

John shrugged. “We just...grew up, I guess,” he said. “You know, we're not twenty-one any more.” He sighed quietly. “However, Donna's right. Tonight is my stag night...and, dammit, I am going to have fun!” He grabbed Jack's hand with one hand and Donna's with the other. “Come on – let's go and find that wretched Time Lord and have some fun!”

“Seconded!” shouted Jack. 

~*~

_ Two hours later... _

“You know, Jack, now that I'm drunk...that hat looks really good on you,” slurred John, leering appreciatively at the black hat with the bright yellow lengths of foam hanging off it and flopping in Jack's face like top-heavy pineapple leaves. “Looks really cheerful, you know – gorgeous!” 

“Like bananas!” agreed Jack, who hadn't been drinking alcohol, but had instead chosen pint glasses brimming with interesting cocktails made from soft drinks, with the result that he had ended up as high as a kite. “And you know...I love bananas – although, I seem to remember, you were more of an orange man.”

John shrugged drunkenly. “Oh, yes...I love to suck the juice out of those gorgeous segments. You know,” and here, he leaned over conspiratorally, “that sometimes, when we're in bed, Nick loves it when I squeeze the juice out of citrus fruits, mix it in with some melted ice cream and just rub it all over his naked body like it's massage oil and then lie down on top of him so we're both coated and then...we just lick each other clean...” He sighed dreamily, remembering the last time they'd done that. It had meant that they'd both been late for work, because they'd been so exhausted from their marathon session that they'd forgotten to clean the sheets and, of course, there'd been a terrible mess left behind. He shook his head. “How we managed to sleep on those sheets, I will never know.” 

Jack giggled. “I am so trying that with Ianto!” he shouted as he poured himself another cocktail (this one consisting of lemonade, orange Tango and mango juice with sliced strawberries added as a final touch). “Never hurts to have a few tricks up one's sleeve when it comes to activities in the bedroom.” 

“Indeed not.” John instantly downed another shot. “I am coming up with ways to make the wedding night the most memorable night of our lives as we speak.” He clapped Jack clumsily on the back and grinned lopsidedly at him. “You know, Jack, it'll happen for you as well.”

“What will?” asked Jack, blinking slightly. 

“You and Eye Candy. It'll happen one day, mark my words, it will. One day, you'll be sat here, just like me, awaiting the happiest day of your life.” John slapped the table for emphasis. 

Jack smiled. “I don't know,” he said. “I mean, I want it to happen for us, I really do, but I just don't know if it's what he wants. The other night, he came in and saw me watching the scene in Brothers and Sisters where Kevin proposes to Scotty and he said, 'Don't go getting any ideas, sir,' and then went to bed.”

John winced slightly. “Ouch.”

“The truth is...I've had the idea for about a year,” admitted Jack. “I want to be able to walk down the street and show those rings off to the world. I want everyone to know just how much I love that man.”

“How do you know that's not what he wants?” asked John reasonably. “He could just be trying to throw you off the scent. Maybe he's planning a big surprise or something.”

“Well, if he is trying to throw me off the scent, it's working really well.” Jack took another gulp of his drink. “I mean, sometimes he'll hold my hand, even kiss me and hug me in public and it's great. It's like we're just another couple out on a date. But then the next week, he'll be so skittish about even touching my hand and it's just subtle little games of footsie under the table. Don't get me wrong, I like those games, but more than that, I wish he'd make up his mind about what he wants instead of blowing hot and cold all the time.”  

 

John nodded. “You want my advice?” he asked. “Talk to Nick. If anyone can help you, he can; he knows Ianto better than anyone. Plus, he'll shake some sense into him if necessary.”  He downed yet another shot. “Shit, this stuff is stronger than I remember it being.” 

Jack smiled weakly. “I'm being a wet blanket, aren't I? I'm sorry, John, I didn't mean to –”

“Hey,” interrupted John. “Don't even think about finishing that sentence. Nothing could possibly spoil tonight. In fact, it means a lot to me that you're comfortable enough to tell me those things.” 

“Thanks.” Jack's smile broadened a bit.

“Not a problem.” John squeezed his hand gently. “Like I said, just talk to Nick and he'll help you out. But, if all else fails and Ianto is still being weird, just do it. Just bite the bullet and go for it. I did, and look where it got me – about to marry the guy I love.” 

“You really think that'll work?” 

“I really do. And besides, even if he shoots you down – although I don't know how he could, given that it's you – at least you won't spend the rest of your life wondering what might have been.” 

Suddenly, the Doctor came hurrying over. “You two had better get over here quick!”

“Why?” asked John. “Has something gone wrong?”

“Not in the way that you're thinking, no...”

“Then what's happened?” asked Jack. “Did you do something?”

“No!” protested the Doctor indignantly. “It's not me!”

“Really?” asked John. “Because, you know, you're wearing a bright pink fez with a white tassel and you've got a load of tacky gold jewellery around your neck.”

“It isn't me!” insisted the Doctor. “Although there was that one time when I came here and...no!” He shook himself. “Garrett's plastered.” 

For a moment, no one said anything. Then Jack laughed out loud and clapped his hands. “Thank God!” he cheered. “That guy  _ really  _ needed to loosen up!” 

“No, no, no,” insisted the Doctor. “You don't understand. He's not just plastered...he's  _ plastered _ .”

John sat up. “How plastered?” he asked as he jumped off the chair. He swayed and gripped the side. “Whoa...because I don't think he can be –“

“No, I think you'll find he is as plastered as you are,” said the Doctor, his mouth twitching slightly. He glanced over his shoulder. “And I think he's having way too much fun with Donna.” 

Jack blinked as he too stood up. “Doctor, you do know Garrett's gay, don't you?” he asked. “Somehow, I don't think he's all that interested in having 'fun' with Donna.”

“Not  _ that  _ kind of fun!” exclaimed the Doctor in exasperation. “He's...well, come and look for yourselves.” 

John exchanged a puzzled look with Jack and they quickly followed the Time Lord, both of them wondering who on earth Garrett had managed to annoy this time. He sincerely hoped that there weren't any aliens hovering around disguised as humans; he knew from past experience that there were some species that someone didn't want to run into, especially when they'd had a little too much to drink. 

However, what they saw was nothing like what they had expected. They had expected to see him curled up in a chair and groaning as he clutched his head with a bright yellow bucket at his side. They might even have expected to see him hammering one of the slot machines in irritation as he lost again – Garrett didn't have a lot of luck with them – or even sprawled at one of the games tables telling stupid stories or daft jokes. 

But they had certainly not expected to see him with his shirt open (he'd somehow lost his black vest) and dancing on a stage surrounded by half naked dancing men and women throwing glitteriy confetti over him as he sang a rousing rendition of 'Poker Face' by Lady Gaga! He didn't even look remotely bothered by the fact that an enormous crowd was gathering around him and cheering – a crowd that included Donna, who was having a blast with the camera (and making the Doctor's comment about her having too much fun with the young Welshman make far more sense) and Matt, who was watching his partner with an expression caught between shocked delight and arousal. 

“I don't believe it,” muttered John. “Is that really...”

Jack flicked a switch on his wrist strap. “Yep, that's definitely Garrett. And no, he's not possessed by anything...unless you count being very drunk as possessed.” 

“Well, that is a new one!” said John, laughing. “Possession by alcohol!” He rushed over to Matt and slapped him on the back. “I bet you've never seen him like this, huh?”

“Never!” Matt yelled back. “When you said that you were going to help him lighten up, I certainly didn't mean like this!” He jumped and looked up as everyone suddenly started screaming and cheering, just in time to see Garrett whip off his shirt and throw it into the crowd before wrapping himself around a pole someone had brought onto the stage and starting an extremely erotic dance. 

John whistled. “But he looks good!”

“Oh, yes,” said Matt dreamily. “He looks  _ really  _ good...” 

A minute or two later, the song ended and, to the surprise of everyone who knew him, Garrett rushed over and, with a loud yell of “Geronimo!” he leapt off the stage and, amazingly, landed straight in Matt's arms. He looked up and grinned at him. “Hey, gorgeous!” he slurred.

“Hi, sexy,” said Matt, falling into step instantly. “Nice jump.”  

“I know! I saw you there and I knew right then that I just wanted to jump into your arms! Because you're my partner and I love you!” 

Matt blushed furiously. “I love you too,” he said. “Now, let's find your shirt...”

“No!” insisted Garrett. “No, no...let's....let's do something amazing!”

“Like what, a karaoke duet?” asked John, snickering. 

“No! Let's...” Garrett snapped his fingers. “Let's get married, here and tonight!” 

The crowd around them shrieked and cheered wildly. Matt's mouth fell open and he nearly dropped his partner on the ground. “Wh-wh-what?” 

John blinked a few times. “Er, not to break the moment, but...Garrett, here's your shirt.” 

Garrett ignored him. “You and me,” he said to Matt. “Let's get married tonight! Think about it. Donna can...you know...take photos, John and Jack can be witnesses and...and the Doctor can perform the ceremony!” He looked over at John, his eyes travelling over his body. “You would look  _ so _ good in a dress. And Jack! He would look amazing in a gladiator outfit, you know, like the ones in Caesar's Palace!”  

Jack, who had come over a few minutes earlier, preeneed. “I would look good, wouldn't I? Ianto always said that I have great legs. And John,” he grinned, “I seem to recall that you  _ do _ look great in a dress.” A rather dirty grin spread over his face. “I'm in!”

“Me too!” said John and Donna simultaneously. 

Matt was blinking in confusion. “Garry...are you sure?”

“Yes, I'm sure, Matt!” Garrett looked up at him. “I love you. I want you to marry me. Right here in Las Vegas and right now tonight!” He slid out of Matt's arms and dropped onto the ground. “Marry me.”

Matt stared at his friends for a moment, stunned. Then, very slowly, a huge grin spread over his face. “Who'd have thought it? The stag do gets a wedding!” He helped Garrett back to his feet. “Yes, Garrett, I'll marry you. I will marry you tonight!”

“Yes!” Garrett grabbed his partner and kissed him senseless. “Now...where's my shirt?”

~*~

_ Caesar's Palace... _

“Damn, Jack!” John whispered, his tongue almost hanging out as they both walked into the room with Jack wearing an almost indecently short gladiator outfit he'd borrowed from someone in the hotel – someone who had obviously been quite a bit shorter than he was. The fake armour barely covered his thighs and, had the tunic been much shorter, he would probably have been arrested for indecent exposure. 

Jack grinned. “You don't look half bad yourself,” he said, leering appreciatively at John's outfit, which consisted of a pale pink sparkly dress that could easily have doubled up as an outfit on Strictly Come Dancing and baby pink and white flowers in his hair. He was also wearing the most ridiculous shoes anyone had ever seen; silver sandals with stiletto heels at least a foot high and with disco balls inside them so that they rattled whenever he walked forwards. 

“I like to think that this is a rather flattering colour for me,” John said, performing a twirl as he reached the back of the room. “And these shoes are just amazing!”

“They do suit you,” agreed the Doctor, who had just walked in, having somehow added yet more tacky jewellery to the already enormous collection he'd picked up in the Luxor. In his hands, he was holding a lead with a large stuffed dog with two gold rings attached to a collar around its neck. “What?” he asked, seeing Jack's baffled look. “I won the dog at the casino and then went out and bought the rings from the souvenir shop. ” 

“Doctor,” said Jack, a grin spreading over his face. “That is bloody brilliant!” 

“I thought so too,” said the Doctor, grinning. “Donna, have you got the camera?” 

“Aye, sir!” Donna saluted.

“Excellent! Because here come the grooms!” 

A blast of music, which John soon realised was an instrumental medley of tunes from, of all things, 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show' erupted through the room as Matt and Garrett stepped through the doors and, arm in arm, they half-walked and half-skipped up to where the others were waiting, both of them grinning crazily. “All right!” said Garrett, not even blinking as Donna snapped photo after photo before finally switching the camera onto the video mode. “Let's get married!” 

“Right!” The Doctor saluted them both. “Well, we are gathered here today in this casino to celebrate the union between Matthew Davies and Garrett Evans...”

“Yeah, yeah, we all know that! Get on with it!” Garrett was almost bouncing out of his shoes in anticipation. Matt's mouth twitched as he fought not to laugh.

“Right, well...” the Doctor nodded. “Witnesses, do either of you know of any reason why these two can't marry?”

“No, and I think they'd both murder us if we said yes,” said Jack. John just shook his head, grinning.  

“Good!” The Doctor seemed equally excited by now. “Do you two take each other?” 

 

“I do.” The two grooms spoke simultaneously. 

“Excellent!” said the Doctor. “Well, then, it gives me great pleasure to say that, by the power invested in me by the Time Lords of Gallifrey and, you know, the rest of the universe, I pronounce you partners for life.”

“Yay!” shrieked Donna, who was also bouncing around. Jack laughed and threw some confetti over the two men as they reached down and took the rings off the toy dog before exchanging them...and then exchanging their saliva. 

“Hey!” shouted Jack. “Don't glue yourselves to each other's lips! You've got your first dance now – and I have the perfect song!” 

He bounded onto another pedastal, pressing a few buttons on his wrist strap so that music blasted around the room and then grabbed a microphone and started to sing. 

 

_ “Now I've had the time of my life _

_ No I never felt like this before. _

_ Yes I swear it's the truth _

_ And I owe it all to you _

_ 'Cause I've had the time of my life _

_ And I owe it all to you.” _

 

Matt grinned. “Garrett,” he said, making a rather exaggerated gesture towards the other man, “would you care to join me in our first dance as a married couple?” 

Garrett stood up and took his hand. “I'd love to,” he said and allowed his husband to lead him to the middle of the floor.

John rushed over. “Donna,” he whispered, “I really hope you're recording this.”

“But of course,” she said with an impish grin. “I'm telling you now, you're going to have some brilliant blackmail material thanks to these two.” 

John also smiled. “Excellent.” 

 

_ “I've been waiting for so long _

_ Now I've finally found someone _

_ To stand by me. _

 

_ We saw the writing on the wall _

_ As we felt this magical fantasy. _

 

_ Now with passion in our eyes _

_ There's no way we could disguise it secretly _

_ So we take each other's hand _

_ 'Cause we seem to understand the urgency.” _

 

“Is it wrong that I'm just a tiny little bit turned on by this?” whispered the Doctor as he watched the newly married couple press closer to each other as they danced. 

“Yes,” said John instantly. “It's wrong that you're only a little bit turned on by it, because it's one of the hottest things I've ever seen!” He sighed. “Damn, I wish Nick was here...and that I didn't have that family tradition to live up to!”

“You mean the no –”

“Don't say it. Don't even think it.”   

 

_ “Just remember _

_ You're the one thing _

_ I can't get enough of _

_ So I'll tell you something _

_ This could be love because _

 

_ I've had the time of my life _

_ No I never felt this way before _

_ Yes I swear it's the truth _

_ And I owe it all to you.” _

 

At that point, Garrett looked up, his eyes more focused than they'd been all evening. “You know, guys, I really do owe this man everything,” he said. “He's made me see that it's okay to be who I am and that I don't have to hide away any more.” He spun Matt around and dipped him to the ground. “It's not me who's wrong. It's the idiots out there who believe that I should be someone I'm not!” 

“Damn right!” said Donna. “You just remember that you said that when you sober up, because it's the truest thing I think I've heard you say.”

 

_ “With my body and soul _

_ I want you more than you'll ever know _

_ So we'll just let it go _

_ Don't be afraid to lose control _

_ Yes I know what's on your mind _

_ When you say: _

_ "Stay with me tonight."” _

 

This time, Matt turned around and spoke out to the group. “Never mind just staying with him tonight,” he said. “At the risk of sounding sappy, I'm going to be staying with him for the rest of my life...and beyond.” 

“Because you're basically the only one who can put up with him for that long,” said John, laughing. Garrett blushed, but he didn't disagree. Instead, he laughed along with the others and simply agreed. 

“Maybe so,” Matt admitted. “But he's also the only one who can constantly put up with me as well!” He laughed and kissed Garrett fervently. “I love you, babe.”

 

_ “Now I've had the time of my life _

_ No I never felt this way before _

 

_ Yes I swear it's the truth _

_ And I owe it all to you. _

 

_ 'Cause I had the time of my life _

_ And I've searched through every open door _

_ Till I've found the truth _

_ and I owe it all to you...” _

 

As the song ended, Garrett grabbed Matt in his arms and kissed him senseless, dipping him down to the ground and melting against him. “I love you,” he growled out, making everyone shiver as the heat from his words reached them. “And I meant every word I said. I really do owe all my happiness to you.”

“Damn,” John hissed. “I'm  _ really _ starting to wish I hadn't made that no-sex-till-the-wedding pact now!”

Jack snickered. “I'm just impressed you both kept it!” 

The Doctor grinned. “Now, how about heading back to the TARDIS for a few glasses of champagne before I run you guys home?” 

John nodded. “Deal.”

~*~

“Oh, dear,” said Jack, laughing as, the moment the TARDIS doors opened and revealed the inside of the Hub, Garrett rushed out and downstairs to the toilets. “Well, he'll know for next time that too much alcohol does not go well with Time Lord transport.”

“Hey!” protested the Doctor. “I am an excellent driver! I got you home, didn't I?” He checked his watch. “11 th June 2013, about ten minutes after the others came back from Amsterdam. Oh, yes, I'm good!” 

“Don't flatter yourself,” said Matt wryly as he stepped out to see how Garrett was doing.

John followed them into the Hub where the most perculiar sight met his eyes. Nick, now dressed in a tie-dyed T-shirt and faded blue jeans and with braids in his hair, was leaning against the wall giggling to himself, while Ianto was sprawled on the sofa, also dressed like a hippy. Both cousins were covered in paint as well as what looked like chocolate. However, it wasn't until John got closer that he saw what Nick was giggling at. 

“Hey, gorgeous,” he said, winding his arms around his partner's waist. “What've you been taking pictures of that's made you so giggly?” 

Nick turned round and grinned at him. “Hey,” he said, leaning in to steal a kiss, blinking as he saw Jack, still naked from the waist up, wander onto the balcony outside the hothouse and gaze down on the scene. “Er, what happened to Jack's jacket?”

“He lost it debauching a monastery,” said John with a laugh. “Long story.” 

“Oh,” said Nick, shrugging. “Well, check this out!” He showed John the video he'd been snickering over. It showed the group in a large disco hall with everyone dancing happily to cheerful Indian music. “There was an Indian night there,” he explained. “And, given that everyone knows that I love Indian music, they felt that they had to drag me there. Now, check this out!” 

He fastforwarded the film a little way until he came to a clip where the floor had cleared, apart from one man with bright blonde hair dancing around to a fast Bollywood number. John gaped as he recognised him. “Is that –”

“Oh, yes.” Nick chuckled. “Apparently, Dan really does loosen up when he's a little tipsy.” He turned up the volume a little bit, just in time for John to hear Dan, who was waving his arms around wildy, shout out 'I can dance!' at the top of his voice. A second later, Rupesh joined him, his mouth twitching with laughter. 'No, you can't!' he responded. 

John burst out laughing. “Nick, you have got to keep that! Seriously, if Dan and Rupesh ever get married,  you have got to play this at their weddings!”

“Quiet!” hissed Nick. “They're only down in Jack's bunker, they might hear you!” 

“They're downstairs?” John blinked several times in surprise. “Together?”  

“Come and see.” Nick took John's hand and led him into Jack's office. He knelt down in front of the hole in the floor. “Look.” 

John glanced down the hall, squinting slightly before his eyes adjusted to the dim light. At first, he thought he was just looking at a pile of bedclothes tossed carelessly over the bed – since, according to Ianto, Jack very rarely made the bed unless it was absolutely necessary. However, as he looked closer, he realised that they were actually two shirts – one blue and white checked and the other deep green – and an oversized dark grey jacket. 

However, the most shocking sight of all was the sight of the two men lying together on the bed, fast asleep and wrapped so tightly around each other it looked as if it would hurt to separate them. Dan's head shifted slightly and his cheek nuzzled the top of Rupesh's head, making his usually sleek hair stand up on end. The dark-haired man stirred slightly, his eyes flickering open and closed, before he settled down again, burrowing his nose in Dan's shoulder.

“Wow,” said John weakly as he and Nick crept back out of Jack's office. “I didn't see  _ that _ one coming.”

“Well, it was a bit of a surprise when I saw them making out in the back room of a Dutch club,” said Nick, laughing softly. “But I hope things work out. Dan needs someone now; he's been alone for too long.”

“Has he had a partner since...” but John trailed off when Nick shook his head. “Wow.” 

Nick sighed quietly. “Yeah, wow.” He shook himself slightly. “Anyway, how was your do?”

“Well,” said John slowly. “It turns out that Dan isn't the only one who lightens up when he's a little tipsy. Garrett's pretty good at that as well. Look.” And he dug out his camera and showed Nick the pictures and videos that Donna had taken during the course of the night. 

“You do realise Garrett will kill you – repeatedly – if you make these public?” asked Nick. 

“Oh, yes, I do. But then again, I'm not going to be the one to do that.” John grinned wickedly. “Didn't you tell me that Declan has a YouTube account?” 

***

_ Next Time: It's time for the rehearsal dinner! _

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the night before the wedding - time for the rehearsal dinner!

_ 29th June 2013... _

Nick came out of the bathroom, wearing his favourite dark green kimono-style bathrobe, the silver patterns embroidered in the fabric shining slightly in the late evening sunshine. His long red hair trailed down his back like fire as the sunlight hit it. He smiled at John, who was picking out clothes. “Bathroom's free, if you want it.”

John stared at him. “Well...actually, I'd much rather have you than a bath,” he admitted, wrapping his arms around Nick's waist and drawing him against his body. “Do you know how beautiful you look right now? How much just seeing you standing there is making me want you?” He rubbed his face against Nick's cheek and started kissing him, pressing his lips over his cheekbones before working his way along to his lips. 

“Well, given what I can feel pressing against my thigh, and given that your pheromones are getting stronger by the second, yes, I'd say that I can make a guess at what you want to do to me,” panted Nick, though somehow he managed to achieve a dry tone to his voice. “But we've not got a lot of time before we have to meet the others downstairs – and we both still have to get dressed.”

“But Nick,” John whined. “I want you.” 

“I know, and I want you too. But tomorrow's our wedding and then you can do whatever you want to me afterwards. We've come so far now – don't break your family tradition at the last hurdle.” 

John looked up and sighed. “Fine,” he said, pouting. 

“Oi.” Nick reached out and tapped him on the nose. “Pouting won't get you anywhere – and, come to think of it, neither will whining. Besides, you know what everyone says – the best things always come for those who wait.” His face suddenly split into a filthy grin. “And believe me, tomorrow night, I will be coming for you.” 

“Oh, baby!” growled John, suddenly in a much better mood. “Do you have any idea how hot that is?” 

“Yes, I know it's hot. But do you know what else is hot? Bath water!” Nick steered John in the direction of the bathroom and pushed him through the door. “Now, get moving before I change the booking and get us two separate rooms tomorrow night!” 

John froze in his tracks and turned round. “You wouldn't.”

“Try me.”

“I...” John was almost tempted to do exactly what Nick suggested and try him, but then he remembered that, actually, his partner really would do it. With a growl and a mutter of something highly uncomplimentary, he turned on his heel and shut the door on Nick's laughter. Quickly, he stripped down and ran the shower, waiting for the hot water to come through.  _ I'll show Nick that I can be quick, _ he thought to himself as he stepped underneath the hot spray.  _ I'll be so damn quick, he'll still be naked when I'm fully dressed! _

Unfortunately, almost as soon as his mind had even mentioned the thought of Nick being naked, his musings abruptly started to change direction and a flood of exceptionally explicit images cascaded through his subconscious, most of them involving their multitude of sexual escapades. However, just occasionally, thoughts of Nick carrying out some of his deepest and most debauched fantasies with him, would find their way into the mixture, including some that, until then, he hadn't even realised he had. 

“Shit,” he whispered, closing his eyes and resting his head against the wall as he clenched his fists together, silently cursing that family tradition for what felt like the millionth time that day. Ordinarily, he would have quite happily taken matters into his own hands, however, even that privilege was denied him, due to that accursed family tradition. With a sigh – that, much to his annoyance, came out sounding more like a groan of frustration – he realised that he would have to make do with his backup plan – a plan that consisted solely of willpower and a very cold shower. And coincidentally, one of those two elements was also one of the things he hated most in the world. 

“Damn,” he muttered, switching the shower knob over from his usual setting of burning hot to – “Shit! That's got to be below freezing!” 

“John?” Nick's voice cut through his thoughts. “Are you okay in there?” 

_ Oh, God! I forgot how beautiful those Welsh vowels sound! Now I know why Jack swoons every time Eye Candy says 'Hi' to him.  _ “Yes!” he squeaked. “I'm fine, don't worry – I'll be out in a bit!” 

“Are you sure?” asked Nick. “I can come in and help you out if you want.”

_ Fuck! _ “No...no thanks, you don't need to do that! I'll be out shortly! You...you just get dressed!” John bit his jaw hard to stop his teeth chattering and finished washing himself down, taking enough time over it that, when he actually stepped out, he was far too cold to even think about being turned on. Quickly, he towelled himself dry and pulled on the thick white bathrobe that was hanging behind the door and stepped back into the bedroom. 

“I'm out!” he said. “See, I didn't need you to...” but his voice trailed off when he caught sight of his partner.

Nick was reclining in the chair opposite the dressing table, his long bright hair hanging loosely down his back like a waterfall of fire and falling in soft curls covering the back of the chair. He was wearing a pair of close-fitting ice-blue jeans with a black leather belt that had a silver dragon-shaped buckle. He also had on a faded black T-shirt with gothic silver lettering spelling out 'Unleash the Dragon' on the front (a phrase that was altogether too appropriate, John thought) and a white denim jacket with an enormous pale blue and silver dragon embroidered on the back. At that moment, he was grinning and stroking his fingers over his glasses as he tapped one foot on the floor beside his new white and blue trainers.

“Seen something you like?” he asked.

“I...” John stammered. “I...wow.” He cleared his throat. “Do we still have to go to –”

“Yes.” Nick slipped his glasses onto the bridge of his nose. “Now, get dressed.” 

“Fine.” Pouting, John pulled on the clothes he'd set aside for the meal (a red silk shirt tucked into tight black jeans and an elaborately decorated black silk jacket) and twirled around. “Olé!”

Nick wolf-whistled at him. “Nice,” he said as he pulled on his shoes and grabbed his bag. “Going for the matador look, were you?” 

John chuckled. “Something like that,” he said. “But you know what? Right now, I just want to do this.” Without any further warning, he grabbed Nick round the waist and pinned him against the wall where he kissed him fiercely, running his hands over Nick's chest and underneath his jeans, rubbing at the smooth flesh he found there and leaving little nips with his fingers. “I want us to go out there and meet the others looking as if we've spent the whole afternoon doing nothing but each other,” he growled. “You look so damn gorgeous when you look debauched, Nick Jones.” 

“I know I do.” Nick's voice was muffled against John's lips. “But we need to go down, otherwise the others will be wondering where we are. I'll bet my life Ianto's going to be timing us.” 

“Okay, okay,  _ fine _ ,” said John, sighing. “But during the meal –”

“You can debauch me all you like.” Nick nodded. “Deal.” 

~*~

Much to John's annoyance – although not to his surprise – Ianto and Jack weren't there when they arrived in the lobby. In fact, the only person who was there was Emily, who was sitting on one of the sofas and glancing around. When she saw them arrive, she waved and rushed to greet them – as well as she could, given that she was wearing an emerald-green halter-neck dress which was knee length at the front, but had a long flowing train at the back, and strappy silver diamanté sandals with higher heels than either of them had seen her wear ever since they'd know her. 

She certainly didn't look very comfortable in the shoes, but the sight of her did distract John from glaring at his partner when he saw her. “Wow,” he said weakly.

“What?” she asked, her Scottish accent thickening with nerves. “Do I look that bad?”

“No!” Nick quickly reassured her. “Em, you look gorgeous.” He kissed her on the cheek. “You know, if I wasn't engaged, and you didn't remind me a bit too much of my sister, I would go out with you in a heartbeat.” 

“Really?” 

“Yes, really.” John nodded. “I mean, who wouldn't want you? You're funny, gorgeous, smart – and brilliant with a gun!” He chuckled. “Honestly, if I was Declan, I'd have asked you out a very long time ago.” 

“Thing is, I know he likes me, but he just won't admit it,” sighed Emily. “Is he scared or something?” 

There was a short silence before Nick spoke. “I wouldn't necessarily say he's scared; he's just skittish. I know he acts the clown, but he's more vulnerable than he makes out. I mean, he's been in love before, even got married, and look how that turned out. He's probably thinking that if you play with fire, well, you get burnt, and he just doesn't want to risk things going wrong again.” 

John nodded. “Here's hoping he doesn't take too long to realise that he can't shut himself away from love forever.” He glanced outside to where Dan and Rupesh were walking, hand in hand, up the path, each of them wearing loose trousers and short-sleeved shirts. The two men waved as they entered the lobby. 

“You seen Ianto or Jack?” asked Nick suddenly. “They were meant to meet us here.” He looked at his friends and frowned when Dan started snickering. “What?” he asked. “Dan, what's going on?”

“What?” asked Dan innocently. “Why would you think anything's going on?”

“Oh, I don't know, maybe because you started giggling as soon as I asked where Jack and Ianto are,” replied Nick. “Now, what's made you laugh?”

“Nothing!” Dan protested.

Rupesh snorted. “Nothing, in the same way that Ianto texting you to tell you that he'd seen Nick arriving in the lobby and ran off with Jack so they'd think that they were shagging, when in fact they're looking around the spa downstairs is nothing, you mean?” 

Dan nodded. “Exactly!” he said, although he looked rather unsettled as he spoke. 

At that moment, Ianto and Jack came round the corner from the stairs leading to the spa, both of them looking rather ruffled and rumpled. Jack's cheeks were flushed and his eyes were shining, while Ianto's hair was standing up in several different directions, none of which could have been made using any kind of hair products that John knew about. 

Ianto whistled. “You guys should see that spa down there,” he gushed. “It's absolutely amazing. And the treatments you can get...” but he quickly trailed off when he saw the look on his cousin's face. “What?”

“I...you...” Nick started to say, but then shook his head. “I give up. Let's just go to the restaurant.” 

~*~

If someone had told John five years ago that he would be sat in a Spanish restaurant in 21st century Bath, he would have been a little surprised, but not unduly shocked. He had, after all, travelled through time and space for several years and seen some interesting places...and then some less interesting places (the planet Clom instantly sprung to mind as somewhere he wouldn't be voluntarily visiting again, which was hardly surprising, considering it was really only well-known for its ravaging winters and blistering summers and for being one of the twenty-seven planets stolen in the Medusa Cascade when the Daleks had tried to move the earth). So, it was fair to say that he was, in every sense of the phrase, a 'frequent flier.' If there were such things as interplanetary or intergalactic frequent flier miles, he would have totalled up quite a sum by now.

However, if anyone had actually revealed the reason why he was sitting in the Spanish restaurant, his reaction would have been rather different. If he had been told that he was sat there because he had committed himself to a young Welshman from the twenty-first century to the point that he was going to actually marry him, and tonight was their rehearsal dinner, he would, quite candidly, told them that they were out of their minds. The very thought of him being in a long-standing relationship, never mind settling down enough to actually get married, had seemed, at the very least, far-fetched and at the most, completely laughable. Not only had he been the kind of man who had wanted to make such a long-standing commitment, but he had also not seen the point in simply putting a circle of string on a partner's wrist – or, in the case of the twenty-first century, a ring on their finger (although he had loved the ceremonies; as several of his colleagues at the Agency had said, 'Any excuse for a party!'). 

And yet, here he was tonight, sat at the head of a long table groaning with small dishes of food, surrounded by friends and family and with a gorgeous man cuddled up beside him and feeding him delicious mouthfuls of paella (something he had, in fact, once sworn he would never eat after a very bad experience on a mission to Ceylianor). At the same time, he was running his other hand over John's arm, openly flaunting the ring on his finger. The ring that John had himself put on his finger that night in the bar over six months ago. Even now, he almost couldn't believe it was really happening.

And yet, as he looked around the table, he knew that he wouldn't change any of it for the world. Not only had he finally found someone who, if he believed in that sort of stuff, he could have called his soulmate, but he had also gained something he had waited for since he was a child. He had finally been blessed with a family; a loving, if slightly dysfunctional, family, who treated him as one of their own. 

At that moment, Nick's uncle Lucas tapped his fork against the side of his glass and stood up. He cleared his throat and the table fell silent as they watched him. Then, he smiled shyly at everyone and started to speak.

“Every day and night is special to every single one of us,” he said, his soft Australian accent colouring his words. “Because every day and night is unique. And so, we must make the most of every day we are on this earth, so that we can cherish our lives and our memories.” He cleared his throat again. “Especially memories of events like those that will take place tomorrow. Events that make some days more special than others.” 

He looked down at John and Nick and his smile broadened. “Tomorrow, these two men will stand together and become as one.” He blinked. “As corny as that sounds,” he added with a rueful laugh that was echoed by everyone around the table. “And I am deeply touched to announce that they have asked me to officiate at their ceremony tomorrow afternoon. Believe me, both of you, it was nothing less than an honour to accept, because...when you asked George, Helen and I to be involved, it felt like...like I was part of a family. A family who loved us and respected us for who we are, not our status in society or how much money we make. Just who we are.” His eyes then focused solely on John. “And that family includes you, too, John – and always will. No matter what happens between you and my nephew in the future, you will always be part of the family. Nothing can ever change that.” 

John worked his mouth several times and tried to speak, but no words came out. Instead, all he could do was smile and nod at Lucas, who nodded understandingly back and just patted his shoulder gently. 

Just then, George turned to them. “Take care of my cousin, Captain Hart,” he said. “Otherwise you might find yourself surrounded by some very unhappy people.” 

John nodded, still unable to speak. 

However, much to his surprise, Ianto chuckled. “I don't think you've got anything to worry about on that front, George,” he said. “I get the feeling that John would rather cut his own head off than hurt Nick in any way.” 

“I would,” croaked John, suddenly finding his voice. “Nick is the single most important thing in my life.” He turned to look at Lucas. “That was a beautiful speech. I was just thinking how much it means to have a family who cares so much for me and how lucky I am to find such an amazing group of people – and such an amazing man as the one currently feeding me a dish that I once swore I would never eat again!” He chuckled with the rest. “Thank you, all of you.” 

Jack then clapped his hands together and raised his glass. “To the happy couple!”

Lucas chuckled. “Indeed. To the happy couple!” he said, not even minding that Jack had hijacked his toast. 

John leaned back in his chair and kissed Nick fervently as the toast was echoed by all their friends. Then, finally, he stood up (with a little bit of help from Jack and Nick, since he was swaying as a result of about three jugs of highly alcoholic sangria) and he said, “I now only have a few words to say to you, and here they are now. Eat, drink and be merry!” 

“Hear, hear!” was the emphatic response from everyone around him. 

~*~

_ Two hours later... _

“I think this is going to be one of the hardest night of my adult life,” admitted John. “I don't think I'll be able to sleep at all, I'm so excited about tomorrow. Jack, I might seriously need you to sedate me to get me to get some sleep if I go on like this!” 

Jack looked up from his book and rolled his eyes. “In case you hadn't noticed, John, you're not the only one who's not getting any action tonight. You might have gotten used to it, given that you've been in the same position for six months, but –” he was cut off as John threw his pillow at him. “What was that for?”

“Firstly, I do not need you flaunting your sex life with Eye Candy in my face, and secondly – Jack, I don't think you've been listening to a word I just said,” retorted John. “It's not the lack of sex that's the problem. It's the insane over-excitement that's bubbling inside me that's the problem, like I just said.” He perched himself at the foot of Jack's bed. “You've been married before, Jack – didn't you feel this way the night before your wedding?” 

“Well...” said Jack, finally shutting his book and looking up. “To be honest...I was bouncing around the room the night before the wedding,” he said sheepishly. “My best man kept threatening to hit me over the head with a shovel to knock me out, or, when he realised that might not go over very well with the bride, kick me out of the room.” 

John laughed softly. “That sounds about right.” He stared at the dry-cleaning bag which he knew contained his wedding suit and sighed. 

Jack thumped his shoulder weakly. “Go to bed, John. Count sheep or something – whatever it takes to get you to sleep, otherwise I will end up sedating you. Seriously, I don't think you want to crash out in the middle of the ceremony, do you?" 

“No!” said John quickly. “No...no, I certainly don't.” He hopped off Jack's bed and burrowed under his own covers. “Night, Jack.” 

“Night, John.” 

***

_ Next Time: John's getting married in the afternoon! Ding, dong, the bells are gonna chime! Yes, we've finally come to the event we've all been waiting for – but will John and Nick's wedding go off without a hitch? _

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big day dawns!

_ 30th June 2013, 1:00pm... _

“John, your eyes are starting to bug out of your head and you're shaking like mad,” said Jack. “You're going to turn up to your own wedding either giving off the impression that you're high on something or you're going to be rushing off the stage with a desperate need for the bathroom because you've drunk too much coffee.”

John sighed as he took in the sea of china cups spread over the table. “I know,” he admitted. “I just couldn't sleep for hours last night.”

“I know. You kept me awake for most of it.”

“And when I did get to sleep,” continued John, ignoring Jack's interruption, “I kept having nightmares and waking up in a cold sweat.”

Jack stiffened. “What kind of nightmares?”

“Oh, nothing like what you're thinking. I just kept dreaming of the wedding and having all these awful scenarios happen. What if it rains during the reception? What if I forget the wedding bracelets? What if my paintings don't show up or get put up in time? What if,” and, in a quiet voice, he voiced the fear that had been chilling his thoughts all night, “what if Nick's changed his mind?”

“John!” Jack reached over and gripped his hands tightly. “For goodness sake, will you listen to yourself – you're being ridiculous!” He breathed out heavily and opened the curtains, revealing the sun shining in a cloudless blue sky. “Firstly, it is over thirty degrees and the height of summer out there. No rain is forecast for the rest of the week – by the meteorologists or the Hub mainframe – and even if it was, you'll be thousands of miles away on your honeymoon in two days, so you won't even have to worry about the weather here.” He paused. “Besides, do you honestly think I would be stupid enough to organise your reception and not have a contingency plan in mind?”

“I sometimes do wonder,” muttered John dryly.

Jack ignored that. “Secondly, Catrin and David have the bracelets and the cushion, and they'll be giving them to Trev just before the ceremony. Have you honestly known Cat to lose anything?”

“No, but –”

“Thirdly,” continued Jack. “Your paintings went up yesterday. In fact, much to the annoyance of the set designers who were there, you put them up yourself, because you couldn't trust any of them to do it right.” 

“Yeah, but –” 

“And finally.” Jack was still resolutely ignoring any interruptions, “do you honestly think that Nick would agree to marry you and then not show up on the big day? I mean, would you do that?”

“No!” exclaimed John, suddenly quite annoyed. “I wouldn't –”

“Then why would you think Nick would?” 

“I don't, I just...” John stopped and actually thought about it. 

“Exactly,” said Jack simply. “He wouldn't.” He smiled softly. “Now, will you take a minute and calm down and just think about how paranoid you're being?” 

John blinked and shifted slightly. “Yeah, I'm sort of wishing you weren't here to see me being an idiot,” he said sheepishly. 

“Good. Now that you've realised that, will you please get ready? We have to leave in less than an hour.”

“Yes, sir!” John got up to get ready, but then blinked as another feeling made its presence known. “Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“I need the bathroom now!” And John rushed into the ensuite bathroom and slammed the door, Jack's laughter ringing in his ears.

~*~

_ 1:30pm _ ...

“Wow.” Jack was clearly impressed. “You look amazing.” 

John looked in the mirror and grinned. He was really pleased with the morning suits that Nick's uncle Steven had made. The grey trousers were expertly tailored – as he knew they would be – and the colour blended in beautifully with the black waistcoats and tails, while the purple shirt, or blue in Jack's case, with the silver cravat added a pleasing touch of colour to the ensemble. It just served to confirm something he already knew; the Jones family really did have that 'family eye' that Ianto and Nick kept talking about, though he did feel a slight pang that Nick's father hadn't been alive; if he had been, John knew he would have bent over backwards to make the outfits himself. But as he lightly caressed the fine stitching on the jacket cuffs, John knew that his father-in-law would have been proud of what his brother had accomplished. 

However, the one part of the whole outfit that he had been most worried about – the black top hat – turned out to be just the thing that was needed to complete the look. He'd been decidedly uneasy about the hat, remembering that the last time he'd had to wear something similar had made everyone ridicule him so much that he'd actually ended up hiding away for a week, until the furor had all died down. However, this time, it looked exceptionally dashing. In fact, when Jack came over to preen himself in the mirror, John mused that he actually looked a lot better than his former partner had. 

“Well, you are the groom,” said Jack; apparently, he'd heard John's thoughts. “It's only right that you look better than I do today.” 

“Oh!” John raised an eyebrow. “So you finally admit that I look better than you, do you?” He preened. “I told you I was the hotter one of the two of us!”

“Oi!” Jack waggled his finger. “You may be getting married today, but don't push your luck! Everyone knows that I was the hot one!”

“No, you were the pretty boy. I was the hot playboy.” 

Jack smiled and reached out to take John's hand. “Not such a playboy now, though, are you?” 

“No.” John grinned and clasped Jack's hand. “And I wouldn't change that for the world.” 

~*~

_ 2:20pm... _

John smiled as he waited in the wings with Jack and took in the scene before him. All around the theatre there were candles and tiny multicoloured lights shimmering and flickering. He and Nick had decided from the outset to use their own smaller lights rather than the lights belonging to the actual theatre, because they had wanted the occasion to have the intimate feel that they weren't sure would be possible with the large theatrical lighting. Looking around now, he saw that they had definitely made the right decision. 

The stage floor was covered by a soft grass-like carpet with several plants and flowers dotted around and there was even an artificial waterfall with the water flowing slowly into what looked like a large pool, giving the effect of a futuristic forest or jungle. In the middle of the stage, there was a tall wooden gazebo, plainly made, but with yet more tiny lights entwining with the colourful leaves and flowers that were wound around the thin wooden pillars. 

A soft whistling sound, quite unlike the band playing as the crowd entered, suddenly hit his ears and he looked around, his mouth dropping open slightly when he saw that the baby aatiae Nick had rescued were soaring around the stage, basking in the scene. He felt tears prick his eyes as he looked around and recognised some of the plants from when he had followed his mother into the forest around their home. 

Jack leaned over and rubbed his shoulder gently. “Look at your paintings,” he whispered. 

John looked up and his breath caught sharply in his throat as his eyes zeroed in on the paintings on the back wall. In keeping with the botanical theme of the rest of the décor, he had painted three panels making up a scene of a bright forest, much like the places he used to go with his mother when he was a child, complete with the bright flowers and the shimmering waterfalls and streams edging the pathway and reflecting the colours of not only the flora and fauna, but also the faint rainbow colours in the sky, which had been so common in the skies of his home, both by day and by night. Even the music playing – the 'Jupiter' movement from Holst's 'Planets' suite – added to the theme, with the chords rippling and crashing around them like the waves in the streams. 

“Wow,” he croaked out. “Just...wow.”

The two men waited in the wings as everyone took their seats in the auditorium, all of them whispering in admiration at the beauty of the landscape in front of them, although Jack had to snicker softly when Nick's cousin James squeaked loudly as one of the aatiae flew above him and brushed the top of his head with one of its wings. To his credit, however, once he'd gotten over the initial embarrassment, he grinned at everyone and even reached out to stroke the creature's wing, making it warble cheerfully.

John's mouth twitched, even as he tried to slap his friend's arm. “Behave,” he silently chided him. “Or I'll tell everyone about the time when you screamed when that ladybird –” 

“Shh!” Jack whispered and nodded in the direction of the stage. The music had progressed while everyone had been taking their seats, to the point that the string quartet had taken their place and were now playing out a very familiar melody line. At the same time, John noticed that Lucas, who was dressed in a smart black suit, had made his way across the stage and was now standing in the middle of the gazebo, waiting. Blushing slightly, John linked arms with Jack and together, they made their way onto the stage. His breath hitched slightly as he walked towards Lucas and realised that, yes, this was really happening. In fact, he was so lost in his own thoughts that it was several minutes before he registered something nuzzling his hand.

Looking down, he saw Michelle, Nick's little niece, who was wearing a deep purple silk dress with a black lace sash and with purple and blue flowers in her hair tied with tartan ribbon, and in a small basket she was holding. She was standing beside John and scattering the petals across the floor and grinning, aided enthusiastically by Estelle, who was dressed similarly, but in a sapphire blue frock. With them was Woodie, Catrin's black Labrador puppy, who had a small cushion on his back with two small sprigs of blue flowers on them. Beside the girls, also wearing elegant gowns in the same colours as the young flower girls, stood Catrin and Helen, watching the scene with amusement, as well as George and David, both of whom looked very striking in their own morning suits, although David's naturally wild curls looked as if they'd exploded. 

Trevyn, who up until now had been holding the cushion with the two embroidered ceremonial bracelets that John and Nick would exchange, now passed it to his aunt and reached down to pick up the two little sprigs, which he then handed to the flower-girls. “Now, Michelle, you pin yours to Uncle Jack,” he instructed. “And 'Stelle, you pin yours onto John-dad! Isn't that right, John-dad?” 

John chuckled and accepted Estelle's offering. “That's absolutely right, buddy!” he said, ruffling Trevyn's hair. “By the way, you were right – that green shirt looks much better on you than blue or purple would.” He remembered the awful time they'd had picking out an outfit for Nick's son. While the little boy had been perfectly happy to wear his small morning suit, he had flat out refused to wear a blue or purple shirt, stating emphatically that he 'didn't want to be dressed like a girl!' before Jack had eventually suggested a green shirt for Trevyn, stating that it would work well with his hair. Nick had been a bit doubtful at first, but when his son had fallen head over heels in love with his new outfit, he couldn't very well refuse. 

“Told ya!” said Trevyn with a grin as he took the cushion back from Catrin and took his place beside Jack. 

Then the room went silent, an air of anticipation burning in the air as everyone suddenly sat still. They held their breath, watching the aisles and waiting. Even the lights seemed to dim and, in the silence, Jack put a hand on John's arm, his fingers trembling as he did so. John smiled. The atmosphere and the excitement was causing his heart to pound until he thought it would burst out of his chest. 

Then, suddenly, the lights went back up and the band started playing again, the trumpets leading from the front with their vibrant sounds. As the music continued, all the heads turned towards the left aisle, which had suddenly started shimmering with a bright blue light. 

John heard Jack inhale sharply and knew that his best man's gaze was fixed upon Ianto. However, he couldn't take his eyes off Nick, who was walking arm in arm with his cousin. Both men were wearing the traditional Welsh kilt, made out of the same green and blue tartan that was also making up the ribbons in the flower-girls' hair and that John suddenly realised was the traditional tartan of the Jones clan. The sporran was of a simple small black leather design with a silver dragon decoration, matching the silver kilt pin which was a dragon reclining on the hilt of a sword, and Nick also had the ceremonial sword that he'd carried during his time at the Time Agency, as well as the smart black jacket that had been part of his formal uniform. He had joked once that the sword and the jacket were the only parts of his Agency uniform that he actually liked, but it looked very striking with the pale blue shirt and black tie he was wearing. Even the floral buttonhole – a purple iris surrounded by red and green leaves – looked striking without taking away from the overall picture.

When the cousins reached the centre of the stage, John grinned at Nick. “Great legs, my Jedi Knight,” he said, frowning when everyone else raised their eyebrows at him. “What? Oh, come on, the man just walked up the aisle to the Star Wars theme music – as if you wouldn't have made that joke!” 

“Well, later on, I can show you my lightsaber,” replied Nick, causing Lucas to turn bright red. 

John's eyes widened. “Okay, that I cannot wait for. But first, we've got something to do.” He turned his smile towards Nick's uncle. “Over to you, Lucas.” 

Lucas blinked several times. “What? Oh, right!” He cleared his throat, clearly slightly flustered as he checked the papers in his hands. “Well, it looks like we're starting this wonderful event with a poetry reading from Catrin, so, without further ado, over to you.” He grinned at his niece.

Catrin smiled back, handed her bouquet to Helen, and stepped forwards, her elegant gown trailing behind her as she took her place. “As many of you know, Nick is an exceptionally avid reader, to the point where I remember Ianto saying that he saw more of the top of his head than he did of any other part of his body for several years,” she said. “But what you may not know is that he is also a rather gifted writer, especially when it comes to one of his favourite subjects – dragons.” She opened up her booklet. “The poem I am going to read to you today was written when my brother was still at school and it has become one of my own personal all-time favourites, even though he never actually gave it a name.” Clearing her throat amid the soft laughter, and ignoring the horrified look on her brother's face as he realised what she was doing, she started to read. 

_ “In the green, dark depths of the forest, _

_ Where the tall, falling trees form a crest, _

_ A dark, deep shadow lies in wait, _

_ Brooding in the darkness of her hate. _

_ Her eyes are as dark as the night, _

_ As she waits to set the woods alight. _

_ The forest dragon, green as her dark mire, _

_ Will so soon show her strength in fire. _

_ Up in a cold, dark, ravaged mountain, _

_ Through a curling mist of bitter rain, _

_ Lingering in the beauty of his love, _

_ His scales hard as stone, yet soft as a dove, _

_ He waits, breathing in a scent ahead, _

_ Watching the flowers, purple, white and red. _

_ The fair mountain dragon in haste exits his lair, _

_ And moves quietly through the piercing air.” _

“Oh, no...” groaned Nick, his face turning as red as his hair. “Ianto, did you give her that book?!”

Ianto chuckled. “Sorry, Nick, but it's her privilege to embarrass you. She is, after all, the sister of the –”

“Please, don't say 'sister of the bride'!” pleaded Nick, his eyes widening as Ianto snickered. “I am not a bride! I'm not even a woman!” 

John laughed. “Honey, you're the one wearing the skirt!”

Catrin, whose mouth had been twitching wildly, turned around and glared at the men. “Come on, guys, trying to focus here!” She rolled her eyes at them and went back to the poem, trying to get the next sentence out coherently. Unfortunately, she was giggling so hard at her brother's embarrassment that she could barely even breathe, much less speak, and after a few minutes, Helen took pity on her and took over the reading. 

_ “Lo, there, deep in the cold, windy valley, _

_ Where the rush grass sways by the sea, _

_ Waiting for the true meaning of justice, _

_ Her breath being raised in a mere hiss, _

_ She lingers, head reared to clouds of grey, _

_ Giving nothing up, come what may, _

_ The cold valley dragon lies low in the grass _

_ Her scales as bright and bold as brass.” _

John inhaled softly and closed his eyes slightly, listening as the words flew over him. He felt as if he had just walked straight onto another planet, maybe even into another universe, a place rich with colour and with the majestic creatures that Nick held in such high esteem. He knew it sounded crazy – and he would certainly never let Nick know this – but hearing those words was stirring more emotion inside him than what his partner described as the 'literary gems' by far more distinguished authors, such as Anne McCaffrey. 

_ “See, beside the blue depths of the river, _

_ Where the moon is shining like silver, _

_ A hard, cold eye sparkles by the water’s side, _

_ The black pupil filled with penetrating pride. _

_ He is waiting and watching, ever still, _

_ Watching for the moment to move and kill. _

_ The dragon of the river arches his spine, _

_ His neck is as long as a shadowy pine. _

_ Everywhere you look, be it on water or land, _

_ As the stars and moon reflect on soil or sand, _

_ Feelings, meanings, rise up in the mist, _

_ Pride, love, hate, and sweet justice. _

_ And now, as one, united in the moment, _

_ Their fire burns bright, as though Heaven sent. _

_ Flying through the sky, faster than a comet, _

_ Linking like a large burning gold net.” _

When Helen finally finished reading and the applause had died down, John opened his eyes and breathed out sharply. “Wow, Nick,” he said softly. “I didn't know you wrote poetry.” 

“I was twelve,” said Nick, chuckling. “There was a competition on at school and it really did seem like a good idea at the time.” 

Lucas smiled. “It was a good idea, Nick. That was a wonderful piece.” He cleared his throat. “Friends and family – and pets – we are gathered here today in this beautiful place to celebrate the –”

But the words were cut off when the curtains suddenly began to blow about, as if they were caught in an invisible wind. Everyone turned round to see what was going on and John saw Jack's hand reach inside his jacket where his gun was concealed. Instinctively, he stepped in front of Nick and Ianto, his hand reaching for his own weapon.  _ I should have known we wouldn't have an incident-free wedding _ , he thought, feeling very disappointed.  _ I'm sorry, Nicky. You deserved a break from Torchwood, today of all days. _

However, a moment later, a very familiar shape started forming in the space near to where George and David were standing. Behind him, John heard Jack groan softly and he heartily agreed with him. Of all the things that could happen, why did the TARDIS have to show up now? 

The door opened at that point and the Doctor stepped out, looking around. To the surprise of everyone, he had abandoned his usual pinstriped suit and was wearing black trousers with a white Regency style shirt and a deep blue sleeveless tunic over the top. He looked like he'd just walked out of a Shakespearian play – which, John reminded himself, he might well have done. 

“Sorry!” he said suddenly, grinning. “I know I'm a bit late – kept crashing the wrong weddings! And I think we ended up crashing a couple of stag or hen parties as well. Do I have cake in my hair?”

John shook his head slowly. “Doctor,” he said, “I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish of me, but the universe is just going to have to wait if it wants to implode or end or whatever. Because I am getting married today and then Nick and I are going off on our honeymoon, and there is nothing you can do that is going to stop that.” 

“What?” The Doctor blinked. “No, no! I'm here as a guest – a bit late, as I said, but I'm here now. And I have a gift for you!” He opened his arms, revealing a tiny white blob curled up in the crook of his elbow. 

Trevyn squealed. “Awww, it's so cute! Daddy, can we keep it?”

“What is it?” asked Nick, coming over to get a closer look. 

“A baby Adipose,” answered the Doctor. “Oh, I know,” he said as Nick recoiled slightly, “yes, it's basically fat. But they do actually make very loving pets.” At that moment, the Adipose opened its eyes slightly and made a soft cooing sound, which caused everyone in the room to sigh softly. 

“Please will you keep it, Daddy?” pleaded Trevyn, looking up at Nick with his big brown eyes. 

John chuckled. “You can't really say no to that face, can you, hon?”

“No,” said Nick with a smile. “You really can't.” 

“Oi, Spaceboy!” John grinned as he recognised that voice and then, a moment later, Donna stepped out of the TARDIS, wearing a purple dress and with her hair pinned on top of her head by a couple of small gold hair combs. She grinned at the couple and then snapped her attention back to the Time Lord. “Haven't you forgotten something else – or rather, someone else?”

“Oh, right, of course!” The Doctor clapped his hands. “Nick, John, there are some people with me who I just  _ couldn't _ have missing out on this joyful event! Donna, bring them out!”

“Yes, sir!” Donna disappeared back into the TARDIS, coming out a moment later followed by two young people. The first was a man with dark eyes, messy black hair and a pale face with a smile that looked slightly out of place, as if the young man was used to scowling. Walking beside him was a woman who looked a lot like Catrin, with her long thick red hair and soft brown eyes, although John thought she was much thinner and paler than his sister-in-law. Both of the new arrivals were wearing what appeared to be formal military attire – black trousers tucked into calf-high boots and waisted black jackets with green cuffs and a white wolf's head embroidered on the sleeve. 

Slowly, Nick came forwards, blinking a few times in astonishment. “Shani?” he whispered. “Shivna? But...but I don't...how did you...?”

“The Doctor came by,” said Shivna. “Told us that you were home and safe and that you were getting married. Well, obviously, we weren't exactly going to miss that, were we?” 

“I...wow,” stammered Nick, clearly extremely flustered. He turned to the others. “Shani and Shivna are...friends of mine. They helped me out during my time away. I'd even go as far as to say that they made each day bearable.” He smiled at them, though it was plain that he was still rather nervous. “Thank you, both, for coming.”

“Thank you, too,” said Shani. “Thank you for getting rid of someone who our people have been trying to see off since before I was born.”

“Ah, yes, dear old Orion,” said Nick with a small chuckle. “Good riddance to bad rubbish, if you ask me. I –” 

But he didn't get any further before something else flew out of the TARDIS – an enormous, blue butterfly, which calmly settled down near the gazebo and then, in front of everybody there, changed into a tall and beautiful woman wearing a stunning blue robe with her long hair flowing down her back. She glanced around and then smiled a smile that was blindingly familiar to the couple.

John swayed slightly. “R'nessa?” he squeaked, barely able to comprehend that his childhood friend, the woman who had once saved his life and had later become the Neokin Queen, was standing right in front of him. “Is...is that you?” 

“Well, who else do you know who can turn from a butterfly into a woman?” asked R'nessa with a laugh as she came over and hugged her friend tightly. “It's good to see you again – it's been too long.” 

“Indeed it has,” said John, kissing her on the cheek. “Long enough for me to find a partner.”

R'nessa nodded. “Yes, I know.” She crossed over to Nick and cupped his face in her hands. “It's good to see that you made it home, Nick, and that you're happy.”

“It's good to be home,” answered Nick, a bit huskily. 

The Doctor chose that moment to interrupt. “As beautiful as these reunions are – R'nessa, I feel I have to ask, why did you decide to make your exit in your butterfly form?” 

“Oh.” The Neokin Queen blushed slightly. “That was just because Kordel wouldn't stop trying it on with me and I wanted to make a quick getaway.” 

“Who's Kordel?” asked Ianto, looking puzzled. “Did you hide someone else on the TARDIS, Doctor?”

“Ah.” The Doctor shifted uneasily. “This might be slightly awkward, but, John, he has changed from who he used to be and he really did want to be here.” Suddenly he grinned. “Or, should I perhaps call you Vera?”

John's mouth dropped open a crack as he saw everyone staring at him in astonishment. “I...changed my name by deed poll,” he said with a smile. “What guy would want to keep a first name like Vera?!” He laughed slightly hysterically, trying to cover up the wild beating of his heart.

_ There's only one person alive who would know what my real name is...but it can't be...he can't be here... _

But the thought cut itself off as the man stepped out of the TARDIS. He had grown pale and thin over the years, and his hair had grown grey and straggly, but there was still no mistaking him. He looked up and smiled, though the expression didn't quite reach his deadened, grey eyes. 

“John?” Nick stepped tentatively forwards. “What did the Doctor mean? Who...who is this man?” 

“He's...” John coughed and swallowed, unable to take his eyes off the man. “He's...he's my father.” 

He had always thought that he was fast at drawing a weapon – one of the fastest in the business, as a matter of fact – but he had never seen anyone remove a gun at the speed he saw Nick do so now. In less than a second, his partner had reached into his sporran and pointed his gun at the old man in front of him, his eyes flashing with so much anger that everyone recoiled in shock, even the other members of Torchwood.

Jack reached over and gently touched Nick's arm. “Calm down,” he whispered. “Do you really want bloodshed on your wedding day?” 

“No.” John's father spoke then, his voice a weak croak. “I don't blame him. If I were in his position, I would point a gun at me.” He looked up at his son. “Look...Vera...”

“John.” John's voice was almost mechanical. “Like I said – I've changed my name.” 

“Right.” The other man nodded stiffly. “Well...John...I wanted to say...I'm sorry. I don't know if that changes anything, but I've had time to think things over and I've realised that...what I did to you was really wrong. I was just so caught up in wanting revenge on the creatures who killed your mother, that I stopped thinking about what was right for you.” 

He reached out and clasped his son's hand. “I understand if you don't want to see me again, but, please...give me this one chance.”

John sighed. “Wow,” he said weakly. “I'm...I'm not sure what to really say to that, to be honest.” His heart was pounding even more violently, hoping that maybe he could reconcile with his father again, even though his brain told him that he was just setting himself up for a fall. He had used his Time Agency skills to look into his father's mind and had seen that the man's words were true; he did genuinely regret what had happened all those years ago. And he also understood that what happened in the past should stay in the past. But at the same time, his father had hurt him badly once and John knew that, no matter what happened, if he was pushed far enough, he was more than capable of hurting him again. And yet, even despite knowing that, he also knew that, regardless of what might happen in the future, he wanted the other man here with him on the happiest day of his life. 

His father, however, must have taken his silence as a dismissal, because he bent his head and started to turn away. “I understand,” he whispered. “You're still hurting from what I did to you. I can't say I blame you. I'll leave now.” He smiled tentatively. “I hope you're both very happy.”

“Wait.” John dropped Nick's hand and rushed over. “Don't leave. I...I want you to stay.” 

“You...you do?” His father blinked, as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. 

“Yes, I do. Whatever's gone on in the past, you are still my father, and...and you should be here on the happiest day of my life.” Cautiously, he touched the other man's cheek, inhaling slightly as he felt how warn and withered the skin was. “Please, stay.” 

R'nessa chose that moment to step up and offer Kordel the seat beside her. “Just don't try anything,” she said. “I swore off men a very long time ago.” She grinned at John, who grinned sheepishly back, remembering the story about her friend's partner jilting her at their wedding. He still didn't know who that partner had been – R'nessa had never told him – but had he known, the man would probably have suffered an extremely painful death. 

The Doctor, who had taken a seat beside Donna, looked around. “So, it looks like we're all staying?” At R'nessa's nod, he clapped his hands. “Excellent!” 

Jack raised his eyebrow. “Er...Doctor?” he said, motioning to where Lucas was watching proceedings with an expression of complete confusion on his face. 

“Hmm? Oh, right, yes!” said the Doctor, nodding. “As you were, as you were!” 

“Don't worry, Lucas,” whispered John. “You get used to him after a while.” 

“I'm sure you do,” answered Lucas, before he cleared his throat and spoke out to the room again. “As I was saying – we are gathered here today to celebrate the joyous union between John and Nick. Now, I must ask you both to confirm that you are both free to enter into this commitment. John?” 

John nodded. “I am free.” 

“Nick?”

“I am free.” 

Lucas nodded. “You have each selected witnesses to confirm your affirmations. Ianto Jones, Captain Jack Harkness, do you both confirm that these men speak the truth?” 

Jack and Ianto nodded. “We do,” they said simultaneously. 

“Thank you.” Lucas nodded and then smiled broadly. “Now, Nick, John has told me about a certain, shall we say, long-time wedding fantasy of yours.”

Nick raised an eyebrow. “Oh yes?” 

“Oh yes,” said Lucas with an impish grin. “I've heard that you've always wanted to have a certain song playing during the vows. So, without further ado – Carlo, if you would?” 

A tall Italian-looking man with a mass of thick black curls nodded and stood up behind the musicians and, with a smile towards the couple, he began to sing in a rich melodic tenor. 

_ “Nessun dorma! Nessun dorma! _

_ Tu pure, o, Principessa, _

_ Nella tua fredda stanza, _

_ Guardi le stelle _

_ Che tremano d'amore _

_ E di speranza.” _

John smiled as he saw Nick's eyes widen in amazement. “Nick,” he said slowly, “when I first met you, nearly four years ago, I knew that one day, you would come to be very important to me. That you would be the one who could reach out to me in a way that no one else could. But I could never have even considered just how much you would come to mean to me, and I certainly never thought that we would ever be where we are today.”

His fingers trembled as he tied the bracelet onto Nick's wrist. “I have spent years...decades, even, searching for the best that was inside me. The best man I could ever hope to be. And for a long time, I thought that the man I was at the Time Agency was the best kind of man I could possibly hope to be. But now, I've realised that I was wrong. Meeting you and falling in love with you made me realise that I can be so much more than what I thought I could be. You have truly shown me how to be a truly great man – to be the best man I could be. You showed me that there was more to me than even I believed there could be. You've been there for me throughout it all, even when I didn't know it – even when I didn't know who you were.” He couldn't quite suppress a shudder as he remembered those dark and painful days before Nick had found him again and they had returned to Cardiff. “And I love you for that, Nick. I love you more and more each day and I can't wait for us to spend our lives together.” He paused and then grinned. “Starting tonight when I can finally get you into bed again!” Everybody laughed in response, although Helen and George blushed slightly.

_ “Ma il mio mistero è chiuso in me, _

_ Il nome mio nessun saprà! _

_ No, no, sulla tua bocca lo dirò _

_ Quando la luce splenderà! _

_ Ed il mio bacio scioglierà il silenzio _

_ Che ti fa mia!” _

Once he had stopped chuckling, Nick said his own vows. “Okay, let me just start by saying that, frankly, I can't wait for you to get me into bed!” he admitted. “It's been way too long and last night was just torture, as I'm sure Ianto will confirm.” He winked at his cousin, who blushed furiously, even as he smiled. 

_ “Il nome suo nessun saprà!... _

_ E noi dovrem, ahime, morir!” _

Then, Nick turned more serious. “John, when we first came together, I was in...well, I guess you could call it a very strange and confusing place. But you were there for me and you came through and showed me the truth when I needed to hear it.”

Slowly, he tied his own bracelet around John's wrist. “You know that I'm not very good with words, but I will at least say this. I am the man I am today because I met you. You picked me up at a time when I felt as if the universe was going to crush me and you stayed by my side throughout everything I threw at you. And now, I hope that I can give you the same respect and...and love that you have shown to me.” He smiled softly and then clasped John's hand in his and kissed it gently. 

_ “Dilegua, o notte! _

_ Tramontate, stelle! _

_ Tramontate, stelle! _

_ All'alba vincerò!” _

Lucas swallowed hard, clearly moved by the couple's words. “I realise this question may be slightly redundant, given what I've just heard you both say,” he stammered when he could actually speak. “But I still have to ask – John, do you take Nick as your partner, to love and to cherish in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?”

“I do,” said John, barely able to keep the grin off his face. 

“And Nick,” continued Lucas, now turning to his nephew. “Do you take John as your partner, to love and to cherish in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?” 

“I do,” replied Nick, the happiness in his voice echoing around the room. 

“John and Nick have made their vows and,” now, Lucas' voice fairly trembled with pride, “by the power that they have invested in me, it gives me great pleasure to declare them partners for life.”

_ “Vincerò, vincerò!” _

“You may kiss.” 

John needed no further invitations and, as the music reached its majestic finale, he swept Nick into his arms and kissed him as he'd never kissed him before, gripping his hair and closing his eyes and plundering his mouth desperately. He didn't even blush when he moaned softly as the music crashed over them like waves hitting the beach. 

When they finally broke apart, Nick's eyes were wide and glassy and his cheeks were flushed. “Wow!” he gasped. “I know I say that every kiss with you is special, but that one just...wow. It just blew my mind.” 

John grinned. “Well, maybe I'll be using my mouth to blow something else later,” he quipped. But Nick was right, he realised; every time they kissed was special, but that time had been something else altogether.  _ Hmm, maybe Dad was right _ , he thought, his eyes flickering towards the old man who was watching with a huge smile on his face.  _ Maybe there really is something about marriage making things special... _

Lucas smiled brightly at them both. “Friends, family – and, you know, pets,” he said, his amused gaze taking in not only Woodie, but also the aatiae flying around the ceiling and the Adipose that was now sitting perkily in Declan's arms. “It is my great pleasure to present to you Captain and Dr. Hart-Jones!” 

As the crowd clapped and cheered and showered them with confetti, John laughed silently as he heard the celebratory music playing behind him. Wrapping his arm around Nick's shoulders, he wondered if Han Solo had felt this happy when Princess Leia placed the gold medallion around his neck. But when he looked down and saw Nick's beautiful brown eyes gazing up at him, he realised that it wasn't possible for anyone to feel as happy as he was feeling at this moment. Even when he found himself swept into Jack's arms for an almost rib-cracking hug, and saw Nick receive the same treatment from Ianto and Catrin, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face, something which Jack instantly picked up on and commented that it was the biggest grin he'd ever seen on his friend's face. 

“Jack,” he replied, “that's because this is the happiest day of my life.”

***

_ Next Time: The wedding day continues with the reception. What has Jack organised? _


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wedding reception...that turns out to be longer than the wedding!

“Where are we going now?” asked John, once they'd left the confetti-covered pavement outside the theatre behind. 

“Ah...” said Jack. “You'll have to wait and see. You two had your say with the ceremony, but from here and onwards, it's all my planning. You're both in my hands.” 

“Gandalf help us,” muttered Nick. 

“Hey!” Jack protested. “I can be organised!” 

“True,” admitted John. “You  _ can  _ be very organised,” he added, causing Nick and Ianto to both turn and stare at him in surprise. “Well...that is, you can be when you want to be.”  

“Then I guess it's very lucky that I decided that I did want to be organised when it came to your wedding reception, isn't it?” replied Jack, leading them down the sheltered street and towards the main entrance of the Theatre Royal. “Your carriage awaits – literally,” he said with a broad smile. 

John's eyes widened. Parked outside the ornate entrance to the theatre was a small carriage decorated with plaited green leaves and flowers, both terrestrial and alien, and with tiny gold and silver charms liberally dotted in amongst the leaves and with a pale blue canopy over the top which the little aatiae seemed to be holding up in the air. A single chestnut brown mare was pulling the carriage, her beautiful dark eyes gazing softly at the John as she tossed her thick dark mane over her head and whinnied softly. 

“Wow,” he whispered and then laughed. “We seem to be saying that an awful lot today!”

“But today it's certainly justified,” said Nick. “Today's been amazing.” 

“Ah,” said the young woman who was driving the carriage. “But today isn't even over yet.” She stepped down and extended a hand. “Come on, boys.” 

John waggled his eyebrows. “Wow, a magical wedding, a gorgeous charioteer and more surprises to come? Looks like today is my lucky day!” 

“Of course today's your lucky day,” teased Nick. “You married me.” 

Ianto's mouth twitched. “My cousin, everybody,” he said, trying to sound exasperated, but unable to stop the grin spreading over his face. “Modest he is not.” 

“Well, really, would you expect him to be modest?” scoffed Rupesh. “Look at him – even I can see that the man's gorgeous!” 

“Fair point,” said Ianto, shrugging as he followed Jack to the garage opposite the theatre. “See you two in a bit!”

“Where are we going?” John shouted back, but the others just smiled and waved. 

Nick chuckled and rested his head on the crook of John's arm. “Well, wherever we're going, if I know Jack, it's certainly going to be good.”

“Oh, you're right there,” said the driver. “You're right there.”

~*~

_ 4:45pm, Roman Baths... _

“I take it you're impressed then,” said Ianto, fighting back a laugh at the awestruck look on John's face. “I knew you would be.” 

“Impressed?” John stared around in ecstasy. “This...Ianto, this is...” but the words failed him and he just stood and gazed around him, the sight taking his breath away. 

Even though it wasn't even five in the afternoon and it certainly wasn't even close to dark yet, the torches around the King's Bath had been lit, giving the area  a soft, almost ethereal glow. A soft summer breeze had started up and was now sending gentle ripples across the water and caused the candlelight to flicker slightly, sending a soft shadow throughout the area and causing the multicoloured petals someone, presumably Jack, had scattered to spread out across the water. Even better, floating candles were grouped together, the small flames reflecting in the water and making the colours of the petals look even brighter. 

As they watched, Ianto pulled a small rowing boat decorated with plaited leaves towards where they were all standing and smiled. “There's nothing like being right in the middle of this place to really feel the atmosphere,” he said. “So, Jack and I –”

“Pushed the boat out?” suggested Nick as everyone else groaned. “What? Sometimes it's just easier to call a spade a spade!” 

Jack's mouth twitched. “Well, even allowing for the incredibly bad pun, Nick's right.” He took John's hand with one hand and Nick's with the other and led them to the water's edge. “Step on board,” he said.  

For the next hour and a half, John was so lost in gazing at Nick that he was completely unfocused on anything else that was going on around him. He didn't notice the candles flickering softly in the water or the petals gathering around the boat or even the soulful harp music resonating through the baths and swirling around the pillars. All he could see were Nick's beautiful hazel eyes sparkling with happiness. He wasn't even put off by the fact that Nick's hair was, as usual flowing everywhere and that the smell of his trademark mint shampoo was filling his nostrils. 

In fact, it came as a shock when he finally looked around and saw that he wasn't in the middle of the baths any more, but instead he was blinking in the sunlight and stood outside Bath Abbey with all the rest of his family and friends as the photographer – a friend of George's named Gethin – worked his magic with his camera. He rested his chin on Nick's shoulder and smiled as the flower-girls scattered petals around the courtyard. 

Suddenly, a yell of laughter broke him out of his reverie and he looked up to see Dan and Rupesh grinning and giggling for the camera as Rupesh juggled with the bouquet Helen had just thrown into the crowd. He applauded with the rest. “Nice one!” he shouted before turning to his sister-in-law. “Okay, Cat, your turn!”

“Yessir!” she replied and threw her bouquet up in the air behind her. Everyone jumped and reached out for it, stretching as high as they could, before a shout of surprise, followed by more applause, announced to the crowd that Jack had caught it.

Nick laughed out loud. “Nice catch, Jack!” He gave him a thumbs-up. “Does that mean that you'll be one of the next ones to get married?” 

“It might do,” said Jack, grinning broadly, although he was gazing at the flowers with an almost reverent expression. “It just might do.” 

Ianto raised an eyebrow at his partner, looking amused. “Don't go getting any ideas, Jack,” he said, nodding towards the bouquet that Jack was still holding. “You hear me?” 

Jack blinked a few times before he nodded. “I hear you,” he said. “No ideas are going to be coming into  _ this _ head any time soon, you can count on that!” He grinned broadly and laughed, but John could hear the tremor in his voice and see the flicker of hurt in his eyes as he walked past.

He reached out towards his friend and touched him lightly on the shoulder and offered him a sympathetic smile. “The idea's still there, then?” 

“Yeah,” Jack whispered back before clapping his hands and raising his voice. “Okay, everyone, file ahead – you all know where you're going! John, Nick, wait back with me!” 

He waited until all the guests had left before he turned to the couple. “Now then, you two are coming with me,” he said with a cheeky grin. 

“What have you planned?” asked Nick.

“Oh, I think you'll be very impressed,” answered Jack enigmatically. “And you'll be able to see just how organised I can be.” 

John grinned at Nick as they followed Jack. “This should be good.” 

~*~

_ 6:30pm... _

“Jack, what on earth could be so spectacular that you felt it necessary to blindfold us to get us to our own wedding reception?” asked John. 

“It's a little thing called a surprise,” answered Jack with an unmistakeable laugh in his voice. “You might remember those. Besides, if you breathe in the air, you might well be able to smell a few things.”

John inhaled softly and his nose twitched as a beautiful combination of scents hit his senses. Beside him, he heard Nick whistle in amazement. “Wow,” he whispered. “If what's waiting down there is even half as good as what I can smell on the air, then we are going to be in for a treat.” He chuckled, but then suddenly fell silent as he heard a loud gasp beside him. “Nicky?” he asked, glancing around, even though his eyes were still covered. “Nicky, are you okay?” 

“This is  _ unbelievable _ !” Nick exclaimed. “John, you have got to see this!” 

“Well, I'd love to see it, but there's the small problem of –” but John's irritated retort was cut off when his blindfold was whipped off and he saw exactly what had caused his husband's cry of amazement and joy. 

He was standing at the top of a flight of stone steps and gazing down upon a large park surrounded by high stone walls covered with climbing plants and with tiny lights entwined with the stalks and poking through the petals. All the trees were covered in blossom and leaves and had the same The flowerbeds, both small and large, were practically brimming over with plants and flowers in a multitude of different colours. However, instead of tiny fairy lights, the beds were illuminated by several tall white candles, the flames flickering like stars amongst an evening sky. Even better, at the foot of the steps, there was a large topiary made from shrubbery and flora into the shape of a green dragon entwined with a red and gold phoenix, very much like the embroidered design on the cushion upon which Trevyn had carried the wedding bracelets. 

At the back of the gardens, in the shade of a cluster of tall trees there was a large circular table covered by a pale blue tablecloth and decorated by four tall floral arrangements, each one holding different combinations of plants and white, green and blue tea lights floating in glass bowls of water and tall pillar candles in the same colour. Thirty-two places were set at the table, each of them with a small blue chiffon bundle tied with silver ribbon and containing the chocolates that John had ordered for the party favours. There were also three long tables, each of them groaning with different plates of food, including an enormous white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake (a throwback to one of Nick's favourite desserts while at university), and decorated, not only with flowers, but also with large different fruits with patterns carved into them, and even a huge watermelon carved into the shape of a dragon perched on top of a jagged rock. 

And then, on a completely separate table, this one smaller, round and completely undecorated, there was the wedding cake. Rather than a traditional three tiered cake with white icing, which John had dubbed 'boring' and Nick had vetoed on the grounds that he had 'been there, done that', the couple had decided to go for a white chocolate cake designed by John in the shape of an intricately detailed castle fort, complete with stained glass windows and even flaming torches, and decorated with pale gold icing for the brickwork and tiny multicoloured flowers, leaves and even grass and trees. And finally, perched on top of the turrets, and made out of a final piece of cake, John had created a large green dragon with its wings stretched out and with small models of him and Nick sat on his back, Nick riding the dragon while John wrapped his arms around his waist and leaned against him. 

“Impressed?” asked Jack with an attempt at an innocent expression. 

“Amazed, more like!” gasped John. “Jack, this is fantastic! How did you do all this?!” 

“Well, like you said, I can be very organised when I want to be,” answered Jack with a rather nonchalant shrug. “I seem to remember organising a few of your birthday parties, after all.” He bounded down the stairs and cleared his throat. “Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and pets – if you could all please stand to welcome Captain and Dr. Hart-Jones!”

As everyone rose and applauded them, John turned to Nick and smiled at him. “Ready?”

Nick took his hand. “Absolutely.” 

They kissed quickly before descending into the gardens and as they did so, a soft whistling tune started playing around them, though as they came closer to the rest of the guests, they realised that it was not coming from the band waiting at the bandstand, but instead it was being made by the tiny aatiae, who were flying above them, their eyes sparkling brightly as they sang. 

“Do you think Jack trained them to sing this?” asked Nick. 

“Aatiae are born with the ability to sing,” answered John. “They train themselves as –”

“No, no, I know that,” interrupted Nick. “I was just wondering if Jack trained them to sing this particular song.” At John's confused look, he added, “It's one of the Pern tunes.”  

John's mouth twitched. “Trust you to know that,” he said affectionately as they took their seats at the head of the table. 

“But that's why you love him,” said Jack, winking at them.

“It certainly is,” agreed John. “Well, it's one of the many reasons why I love him.”  

Ianto grinned. “And one of the many reasons I love Jack is, undeniably, his cooking, so  I am off to get some of that risotto before everyone else gets there first. Coming?”

John leapt to his feet. “You bet!”  

~*~

_ 8:40pm... _

“Well, I have to say, Jack, you have really outdone yourself this time,” panted Nick. “That was quite possibly one of the best meals I've ever eaten. And the cheesecake was...I mean, what did you do, go all the way to Manchester and get the recipe?” 

“Yep,” said Jack simply. “Ianto told me that you loved it when you were there, so we went all the way up there and got hold of the recipe, which I then kept on testing so that it would be perfect for the big day.” 

“I swear, for a month, all we ate was cheesecake,” chuckled Ianto. “But given that enjoyed it so much, you managed to polish off three slices of the stuff, it was worth it. Even though I did go without sex for that entire month because he was so tired from cooking it.”

“Ha!” said Nick. “So,  _ that's  _ why you were so grumpy!” 

Ianto blinked and worked his mouth a few times. “I...isn't it time for the speeches?” Then, without waiting for an answer, he stood up and cleared his throat. “I'm Ianto Jones, Nick's cousin and best man.”

“Professor Ianto Jones!” corrected Jack, grinning as he raised his half-full champagne glass (although it was full of lemonade rather than champagne). 

Ianto stared at him for a moment. “Thank you, Jack,” he said dryly. “I'm not really a Professor – it's just something that he likes to call me in...well, anyway.” He shook himself quickly before reaching out to untie Nick's ponytail and ruffle his hair. “I'd like to toast my little brother here on the happiest day of his life and to wish him all the luck in his future with John.” 

“Thank you,” said Nick.

“I'd also like to welcome the new addition to our family,” continued Ianto. “John, as you've undoubtedly found out, us Joneses can be rather...shall we say, unique, but I have to say, you've handed the whole situation with aplomb and I have to commend you for that! The last of the in-laws certainly didn't...never mind,” he said quickly when he spotted Nick glaring at him. “Sorry, my mouth sometimes tends to run away with me, so, I'll just say...congratulations, Nick and John!” He led a toast to the couple and then sat down at the table after swallowing the last of his champagne and quickly pouring himself another glass and downing that as well. “Now, over to our other best man!”  

“Wait,” interrupted John, suddenly standing up himself. “I just wanted to say that Ianto's just congratulated me on dealing with the rest of the family, but I don't think he's being entirely fair to himself or his relatives. So, I want to thank him and the rest of the Jones family for being there for me and for giving me a loving family once again.” He swallowed hard. “I'd especially like to thank Nick's father, who sadly can't be with us today, because he was very supportive when I met him and he made me feel so welcome and at home, even though I only met him that one time before being unexpectedly called away.” He exchanged a quick look with Nick. “I admit, I had almost forgotten how it felt to be accepted by a family and I hope that wherever he is, my father-in-law is watching over us with a smile.” With a small smile, he raised his glass and sat down again, lightly caressing Nick's knee as he did so. “And now, over to Jack.” 

Jack nodded and stood up, tapping his fork against his glass. “Evening, everyone,” he said when he had their full attention. “I'm Captain Jack Harkness, best man of the other groom. And, firstly, I hope that John's father doesn't mind me hijacking the speech that should probably be his.”

“Oh, be my guest!” said Kordel amicably. “You know him a lot better than I do after all!”

“Thank you,” said Jack and then he stepped out of his seat and made his way across to the bandstand. “Now, Nick, as you may or may not know, it's customary where John and I come from for one of the toast-makers to lead the couple in with the first dance. And since I forgot to mention this tradition to Ianto –”

“The tradition that also gives you an excuse not to come up with a speech!” said John, laughing. 

“Shut it,” said Jack good-naturedly. “As I was saying...since I forgot to mention this tradition to Ianto, that meant that the task of composing your first dance song fell to me, which I was only too happy to do, since I'm not especially good at speeches.” 

The guests chuckled appreciatively and Jack continued. “So, if you'll give them a round of applause, it is time for John and Nick to make their way to the bandstand for their first dance.”

As the pianist started playing a slow and lyrical melody, John stood up and extended his hand towards Nick. “May I?” he asked. 

“You may indeed,” said Nick as he allowed his husband to lead him onto the grass in front of the band, as the man who had sang at the wedding stepped forwards and the song began. 

_ “They say that you don’t appreciate what you have _

_ Until it is eventually lost. _

_ That you don’t realise what you’re fighting for _

_ Until you’re dying for it. _

_ And that there is never enough time _

_ Until you have too much to it. _

 

_ Well, I don’t know how much is true, _

_ But I do know one thing that I believe. _

_ I believe – no, I know in my heart and soul _

_ Beyond any shadow of a doubt, _

_ You don’t find what you’re looking for _

_ Until you finally stop the search.” _

A soft gasp found its way from John's lips as the lyrics resonated across the grounds. Clearly, Jack knew him far better than John had thought he did, because he had described that feeling of realising how lucky you are when you lose someone or something you care about or love or of feeling as if your time was running out and then suddenly being hit by the prospect of having forever and not knowing what to do with it. 

Indeed, John knew that he had spent years and years searching the known universe to find the answers to what had happened to him and why his memories had been erased before he had finally run into Jack again and, when he hadn't found the answers he had been looking for, or even a return of his feelings for Jack, he had realised that he was wasting his time looking for something that would almost certainly never be found – the answers to his past and someone who would love him – and so, eventually, he had stopped looking. 

And, of course, it had only been then that he had finally found what he had wanted for so long. Now he had not only the answers to the multitude of confused questions that had been whirling through his mind for so long, but he had also found someone who accepted him for who he was and who even loved him for who he was without trying to change him – something not even Jack had managed to do. 

__

_ “It is said that everybody searches for a hero, _

_ Everyone looks for someone to aspire to, _

_ A brave warrior, a fighter, even a king. _

_ But who could have thought in their wildest dreams, _

_ That the one searching for his hero, _

_ Would be a wild solider himself? _

_ He came through, like a blistering storm, _

_ Burning brightly, like a phoenix in the sun, _

_ An image terrifying and yet splendid. _

_ He was brave, but wild too, _

_ He could be controlled by none. _

_ Even his bold partner was at a loss.” _

 

John shivered a bit, remembering those days when he had been wild and arrogant, rushing through his as if nothing else mattered except for showing everyone exactly how good he was at what he did. No one had escaped him, though several had tried, and no one had been able to control him. Even Jack had been at a loss as he had watched his partner's violently destructive rampage, a mixture of sadness, anger and sheer terror on his face. 

“It's okay,” Nick whispered suddenly; he must have felt the trembling. “Just relax and take deep breaths. I'm here and nothing is going to hurt you. It's okay now. I've got you.”  

_ “But then, our soldier travelled the stars, _

_ He finally saw what his life had become, _

_ A mass of bloodshed, lust and loss. _

_ He was a fierce sight, beautiful, but terrible. _

_ But inside, hiding beneath the roaring flames, _

_ There was still a simple man.  _

 

_ And so it was, that when least expected, _

_ Another, a gentle man, crossed his path, _

_ One who healed the wounds a warrior caused, _

_ He reached out his hand to him, calmed his ire. _

_ And more than touching his skin, _

_ The young man touched this fighter’s soul.” _

“It's true,” John whispered, his lips brushing the soft skin over Nick's ear. “I never expected to find someone who could reach out to me the way you did and I certainly never dreamed that I could hope to find anyone who I could let my guard down around.”

“Well, you have now,” responded Nick. “You'll never have to hide around me. All I ask is that you be who you are and that you love who you are. Don't be afraid of being hated or ridiculed for who you are, because there is certainly one person here who won't hold that against you.” 

_ “Together, they strove to mend their hearts, _

_ To right the wrongs the past had brought, _

_ Lies were turned to truths, pain into joy.  _

_ And without knowing it, after so long lost, _

_ When he had finally stopped looking, _

_ The soldier had found his hero.” _

Suddenly, the band leader stopped singing and stepped away from the microphone. Thinking that was the end of the song, John started to clap, but then Jack, holding a full glass of champagne in one hand, stepped up and took the mike and began to sing.

_ “Now I see them stand together, _

_ Their hands and lives entwined, _

_ And their love bright as shining stars. _

_ I shall smile and raise my glass _

_ In a long-awaited toast  _

_ To the soldier and the healer.”  _

As the music faded away, Jack raised his glass. “To John and Nick! Now, everyone, let's dance!” He turned to Ianto and extended his hand. “May I?”

Ianto blushed and giggled. “You may indeed, Captain,” he said. 

Nick chuckled and nuzzled John's hair. “Well, it looks like whatever was bothering them is over now and they're back to the married couple of the decade we all know and love.” 

John smiled rather thoughtfully. “I wouldn't quite bet on that one, yet,” he said, remembering what Jack had told him on his stag night. “There's still quite a lot of unresolved issues.”

“Yeah, I suppose. But that's true of any couple, really – even us,” said Nick. “But it still doesn't stop them – and us – being happy.”

“True.” John kissed Nick's head softly and looked around. Suddenly, something caught his eye and he straightened up. “Hey, Nick,” he whispered. “Is that Emily and Declan?” 

“Where?” Nick looked up abruptly and followed John's eyes. His mouth dropped open at the sight of his friends dancing cheek to cheek and looking very intimate indeed. “Finally!” he breathed out. 

“Finally?” repeated John, turning to stare at him in confusion. “I'm not sure I'm as up to date with the situation as you are; Jack wasn't as good at catching me up as Ianto probably was.”

“Okay, well, you know how it took Emily six months to figure out that she liked Declan?” John nodded. “Well, it took him three months to figure that out and then another three to figure out that he liked her back.”

“And then, let me guess, they were on again and off again worse than Ross and Rachel in Friends?” asked John wryly. 

“Nope.” Nick grinned. “It's taken him until now – so that's  _ two years  _ since he figured out he likes her – to actually do anything about it.” 

John's mouth dropped open. “Two years?!” he spluttered. “You are kidding me!” 

“Hence my exclamation of 'Finally!' when I saw them dancing,” chuckled Nick. “From what I heard, Ianto was about ready to ask Em out himself on Dec's behalf at one point!” 

“Wow,” said John weakly. “That's....er...that's pretty incredible.” 

“I think insane is a better word,” chuckled Nick. “But it looks like they've finally seen the light.” 

~*~

_ 9:30pm... _

“I'm glad you came today,” John said, leaning against the bar. “It meant the world to Nick to see you here.” He sipped his champagne. “Look, Dan, I'm going to level with you. I would be lying if I said I would have always been okay with being around you and with your history with Nick. There was a time, not very long ago, when I would have wanted to do some pretty terrible things to you just for having been with him.” 

Dan nodded. “I know. I would be lying if I said that I wouldn't have felt the same if I was in your position.” He bit his lip. “I'd also be lying if I said that there wasn't any part of me that didn't resent you a bit for being with him, even after all this time. But I'm not lying when I say that I don't hate you for it, nor do I wish you anything but happiness in your life together. You both deserve that.” 

“Thank you,” said John, truly touched by the other man's words.

“However,” Dan continued, “I have to warn you that if I get even one hint that you're not taking care of him or treating him properly, I will make you regret ever existing.” 

For a moment, it was right on the tip of John's tongue to say that he'd take far better care of Nick than Dan had done. But then he realised that if he did, someone was bound to overhear them and tell Nick what he'd said, and he certainly didn't fancy upsetting his husband, especially on their wedding day, and especially when tonight was the night that he would finally see an end to those six long months of celibacy. 

“Dan, as I've told you before, I have absolutely no intention of hurting him,” he said as mildly as he could. “I love that man more than life itself, and I'll do anything to make sure that he always knows that. Besides, do you really think that Nick would just stand by and let me hurt him?”   

Before Dan could answer, Nick suddenly came bounding up to them. “Hello, you two!” he said. “Good to see you're both getting along, but I just need to borrow Dan for a bit, assuming he doesn't have any objections.”

“Borrow me?” repeated Dan, frowning. “What for?”

“Well,” said Nick, smiling softly. “Listen to what the band are playing.” 

Both John and Dan glanced towards the bandstand and John saw a small smile spread over Dan's face as he recognised the gentle drumming and faded guitar melt into the lyrics of one of Nick's old favourite songs. 

_ “No time, no place to talk about the weather. _

_ The promise of love is hard to ignore.  _

_ Who said the chance wasn't getting any better? _

_ The labour of love is ours to endure. _

 

_ The highest branch on the apple tree, _

_ It was my favourite place to be. _

_ I could hear them breaking free, _

_ But they could not see me.” _

“Heh,” said Dan, smiling slightly. “It's our song.” 

“Yes, it is,” said Nick, extending a hand towards the blonde man. “And I wondered if you'd like to dance with me, just one last time.”

Dan blinked. “Me? Dance with you?” 

“Yeah.” Nick nodded. “You know – for old time's sake.”

Dan looked uncertain. “Nick, I –”

“Go on,” interrupted John, giving Dan a shove towards Nick. “It's your song – you two deserve to dance it together. Besides,” and he forced a laugh, “I'll be dancing several more dances with Nick anyway before tonight's out.”

“That's true,” said Dan with a small chuckle of his own before he turned back to Nick. “I'd love to dance with you,” he said, clasping his friend's hand. 

John watched them disappear back onto the dance floor and downed the rest of his champagne, hoping that the motion would mask the scowl that he knew was spreading over his face. He knew he shouldn't be jealous, but the sight of Nick and Dan dancing together like that, with Nick's long hair falling out of its ponytail and over Dan's shoulder, was making his blood start to boil. He hissed slightly under his breath, making the last centimetre or so of his champagne bubble up and splash over his nose. 

“Shit!” he growled, not even registering that several butterflies that had been curled up in the leaves over the bar flew away very quickly in shock at his exclamation. Swearing softly, he hunted around for a tissue, upturning coasters and brushing leaves out of the way in agitation, before someone pushed a crisp blue handkerchief into his hand. “Thanks,” he muttered, wiping his mouth down as he turned to see Rupesh beside him. “Oh...oh, hi.”

“Disappointed to see me?” asked Rupesh, his mouth twitching. “Were you maybe expecting a boxing bag?”

“What?” asked John, blinking.

“Oh, come on!” Rupesh hit John hard on the arm. “The way you were gripping that champagne glass just now, I was surprised it didn't shatter into shards! Plus, as soon as Nick and Dan were out of sight, you looked as if you were turning into Jack the Ripper!”

“Okay, firstly, I look nothing like John Druitt!” said John angrily. “And secondly, doesn't it bother you seeing Dan dancing with his ex?” 

Now it was Rupesh's turn to look like a deer caught in the headlights. “What? Why would it –”

“Oh come on, Rupesh – I know you two are together! I saw you both sleeping together down Jack's hole after the stag nights! And you were holding hands last night at the rehearsal dinner!” 

“That doesn't make us together!” said Rupesh, laughing. “We were holding hands because we're friends and we don't really have a problem with showing affection to our friends. And yes, we have slept together, but it's nothing serious!” He laughed shakily. “We're just friends – well, friends with benefits, I guess.” 

John raised his eyebrows. “Yeah, sure – Rupesh, you do realise that's how Jack and Eye Candy started out? Now look at them.” He pointed over to where Jack and Ianto were dancing, Jack's arms pressing Ianto's body close to him as he whispered something in his ear that made Ianto blush furiously and slap Jack's shoulder. “They've practically turned into a married couple.”

“No, John, you and Nick are the married couple of Torchwood,” said Rupesh dryly. “But Dan and I aren't going to be like that. I'm not even sure I want to be in a long-term relationship yet.” 

“Keep telling yourself that,” said John. “But if you're so sure you don't want a long-term relationship, then why –” but he was abruptly cut off when a gunshot cracked loudly through the air, breaking the celebratory atmosphere.

“What the hell was that?!” spluttered Rupesh, turning round in the direction of the gunshots. He looked closer and his eyebrows narrowed in a frown. “John, UNIT wear red caps, don't they?”

“Yeah, they do – Jack got one of those caps for Ianto,” said John. “Why do you ask?” 

“Because I think there's an army of UNIT officers walking down the steps as we speak,” answered Rupesh, pointing. “See them?” 

John's mouth opened. “You have  _ got  _ to be kidding me,” he growled and, whipping his own gun out of his jacket, he sprinted over to where the soldiers were forming a straight line in front of one of the larger flowerbeds. “Evening, ladies and gentlemen,” he said, resting one hand nonchalantly on his hip. “And how can we help you?”

“You can help us by telling us where we can find Captain Harkness,” said a severe-looking man with a faint American accent who looked like the leader. “We have some business with him.” 

“Hang on, hang on,” said the Doctor, who had also come over with a glass of champagne in his hand. “This is, in case you hadn't noticed, a wedding. There'll be no bloodshed, if you please.”

“We have no intention of shedding blood, thank you,” said the man. “My name is General Sanchez of the Unified Intelligence Taskforce, and I have some words for Captain Harkness.” 

“And you can say them to his face,” said Jack who had come over, his face just as severe as that of Sanchez. “What do you want?” 

The General blinked slightly at Jack's forcefulness before putting on a sharp scowl. “Captain Harkness,” he ground out, “we received signals on our monitors consisting of incoming non-human lifeforms. We tried to reach Dr. Jones at Torchwood and the rest of the team, but they were otherwise engaged, so we felt that we had no choice but to come –”

“Doctor?!” A handsome young man with short dark hair and slightly twinkling eyes suddenly broke away from the line. “Doctor, is that you?!” 

The Doctor blinked several times and then his eyes widened. “Ross?!” he spluttered, a huge grin spreading over his face. “Well, I'll be – Private Ross Jenkins!” He grabbed the young man and pulled him into a rib-cracking hug, laughing wildly. “Haha! And there was me thinking you were dead after the Sontarans invaded!”

“Nah, just took a glancing hit,” said Ross, shrugging. “But my communicator got busted by the shot, so I couldn't hear anyone or reply to anyone.” 

“As sickeningly touching as this is,” interjected Sanchez, “we do have business to be conducting. As I said – Captain Harkness, we had readings of major alien activity on our radars starting at the Theatre Royal on Sawclose, and then again here. Care to explain yourself?” 

“You mean the presence of the TARDIS and a few baby dragons isn't enough of an explanation?” asked Jack angrily, reaching for his gun. “Are you really that stupid that you can't see what's in front of your nose?” 

Sanchez' eyes flashed threateningly and he reached for his own gun. “Are you threatening me, Harkness?” he growled. “Only, I would really hate to start violence at your friend's wedding.” 

“Oh, no, I'm not threatening anybody,” said Jack with an all-too-pleasant grin. “Only speaking the truth.” And with that, he lunged at Sanchez, only to be pulled back sharply as someone grabbed the back of his jacket. “Hey, he's the one ruining your –” he exclaimed, apparently thinking that it was John, but then turned around to see, to everyone's surprise that it was, in fact, John's father, watching him with an expression of mild amusement. In fact, Jack seemed to be so surprised by the identity of the intervener that he let the man take his gun off him without a murmur. 

Sanchez, too, seemed a little surprised. “Who is this, Harkness?” he asked, clearly attempting to retain his blustering swagger. 

“My name is Kordel Hart.” The older man calmly lowered Sanchez's hand. “I'm John's father.” 

This time, the general couldn't keep the surprise out of his eyes. “You're the father of the groom?” he spluttered. “But...but you look so...so old!”

“He's been through a lot,” said John quickly and touched his father's arm. “You...you don't have to do this, you know.” 

“Oh, yes, I do,” answered Kordel before turning straight back to the UNIT officers. “You people are gatecrashing the happiest day of my son's life,” he said, politely but with an undertone of fire. “And we don't take kindly to gatecrashers.” 

“We have a job to do!” blasted Sanchez angrily. “We came to investigate –”

“And you have done your investigating. There's nothing here to worry about – just a typically Torchwood wedding. Which you people were not invited to, so I would appreciate it if you left.” 

“But...but...” Sanchez was spluttering. “You have no authority over me!”

“Oh, I think you'll find he does,” interjected Nick, who had also come over. “You see, General Sanchez, my father-in-law has very important credentials...as the leader of Torchwood Four.”

A short gasp followed that pronouncement before a rather snooty-looking woman on Sanchez's left retorted, “Torchwood Four does not exist.” 

“Oh yes it does,” said Nick. “But the nature of their missions and research means that it has to be very well hidden. There is only  only one person to whom they answer, and sadly that person is Captain Harkness, and not you or yours. So, actually, you are the ones with no authority over him.” He raised an eyebrow slowly. “ _ Capisce _ ?”  

“Indeed,” said Kordel. “So, as you see, General, you have no authority over me. In fact, as Dr. Jones has rightly stated, I am the one with the authority over you.” He stepped up to Sanchez, getting right in his face. “So, if you and yours wouldn't mind leaving?” 

For a moment, it looked as though Sanchez was going to argue again, but then he just glared at them. “Fine,” he growled, an extremely sour look on his face, which he soon directed at John and Nick. “Congratulations on your special day,” he said with only the barest hint of sarcasm before he turned on his heel and stormed away. But he had barely gone a few steps when he stopped and turned around. “Jenkins!” he barked. “Why aren't you following?” 

“Oh, I think Ross will be staying for a bit,” said the Doctor airily. “I think he's making friends with Nick's cousin.” He nodded to where the handsome young officer was talking to Helen. 

Ross blushed slightly, but he smiled and held out his hand to the young woman. “Miss Porterfield, would you like to dance?” 

Helen looked surprised but flattered. “I'd love to.” She slipped her hand into Ross' and let him lead her onto the dance floor – though not before John saw her flash the rest of Ross' colleagues a rather bullish look, though it was disguised by a sweet smile. 

Sanchez groaned loudly and with a loud curse in what sounded like Spanish, he stormed off, his footsteps sounding painfully loud on the stone steps. 

The Doctor whistled. “You do not want to know what he just said.” 

“I could take a guess,” said John with a wry smile before he turned to his father. “You...you didn't have to do that, you know.”

“Of course I did. Today is your special day and there was no way I was going to let a bunch of wannabe soldiers ruin that.” He smiled and absently stroked one of the flowers still in his son's buttonhole. “Golden rosemary. Your mother's favourite.” 

“Yeah,” said John. “I always remember wondering why it was called golden rosemary when it was actually purple when it flowered, and then she showed me those golden shoots inside the petals.”

“I asked her the same question once,” admitted Kordel with a sheepish laugh. “She had a huge bouquet and crown of them when we got married and I didn't figure out where the gold glow kept coming from until I'd gotten the crown off her!” 

John laughed. “Seems we're more alike than I thought we were.” 

His father looked thoughtful at that. “Yes, I guess we are.” He reached into the small bag he'd brought with him and drew out a rather faded deep blue book with faint silver patterns embroidered on the soft fabric. “I managed to get the Doctor to take me back home so I could pick this up for you,” he said huskily. “And I added your pictures to it as well.”

John gasped softly as he looked through it. “But...but this is your wedding album! You can't give me this, it's too much!” 

“No,” his father said firmly. “It's not too much for you to have what you deserve – what you've deserved since you were fourteen.” He sighed softly. “Please. Take it. And cherish her memory in the way that I could not.” 

“Thank you.” John's throat seized up as he finally shut the album. “It's...it's amazing. I'll...I'll always treasure it.” 

Suddenly, Jack's voice echoed around the gardens. “If the happy couple could now make their way back towards the bandstand, Ianto and I have something to give them – something that we've actually been working on for quite a while.” 

“You've been working on it, you mean,” corrected Ianto.

John cocked his head as he and Nick made their way towards their friends. “You didn't buy us Cardiff Castle, did you, Jack?” he teased.

“Not quite,” chuckled Jack. “However...” and he passed the two men a thick green file. “Have a look through that.” 

The couple had barely looked through three pages before Nick suddenly launched himself into Jack's arms. “It's amazing!” he cried. “You thought of everything; even a room for all my dragons!”

“That one was Ianto's idea,” said Jack, grinning. “He also came up with the library for your multitude of books.”

“Well, if we were going to buy you a house, I knew we had to have one room for each one of Nicky's obsessions,” chuckled Ianto. 

“Ianto,” chuckled Nick as he hugged his cousin. “You know me too well.” 

“Hey, Nick, check this out!” said John, showing his partner a photograph of a room that was painted in soft red colours and with small stained-glass lamps casting a rainbow coloured glow. There was also a huge bed in the middle of the room with a pale chiffon canopy over it and with what looked like of tall candles and incense burners on every surface. “It's our own boudoir – and Jack even remembered that chandelier I saw last month!” 

“Even when we were at the Time Agency, John kept saying that one day he was going to get himself an enormous chandelier in the shape of a penis,” Jack whispered in Nick's ear. “So, when he told me about this, I just knew I couldn't ignore it.” 

“It's beautiful,” said Nick. “I love it. Thank you, both.” 

“I can't wait to christen each and every room,” said John, at which point the others rolled their eyes. “What?”

“Honestly, it's just sex, sex, sex with you!” said Ianto, but he was smiling. 

“You say that like it's a bad thing,” said Nick, wrapping his arm around John's waist and slipping his hand down his trousers, causing his partner to squeak in shock. 

Jack chuckled. “Hmm, it looks like someone's getting a little bit...aroused,” he said.

“Yeah, well, some of us have been celibate for six months!” growled John. “I swear, I am so close to just finding some well-hidden bushes!” 

“Oh, really?” said Jack. “Well, as a matter of fact, I think you'll find that we've got something far better than that.” 

“Oh yes?”

“Oh yes. Just you wait and see. Tonight is going to be very special.”

~*~

_ 1 _ _ st _ _ July, 1:30am... _

“Well, I have to hand it to Jack, he really did live up to his promise that tonight was going to be special,” said John, idly running his fingers through Nick's long hair. Soundless fireworks had been exploding above their heads with showers of bright colours raining down over them for the last two hours, so that the boat they were now on – Jack having decided that they were at last owed some privacy – seemed to glow bright pink, blue or even orange. “I feel like the luckiest man in the universe today.” He turned around and kissed Nick fervently. “I love you.”  

Nick grinned brightly up at him. “And, lest we forget, it's not over yet,” he said. “In fact, I think I saw something back there...something that looks awfully like a bed.” He waved his hand back towards the double bed covered in blue silk sheets that was surrounded by white candles and incense and had rose petals in all different colours scattered over the pillows. “Clearly, Jack wants us to have our wedding night twice.” 

“It's another tradition from back home,” explained John as he led Nick over to the bed. “When you get married, your first time after the wedding is always somewhere in the open air, before you go back to your own bed, or to the hotel you're staying in, and do it all again. Think of it like you're re-learning your partner over again.” He lay down on the bed and pulled Nick towards him, his voice dropping to a much more romantic whisper. “And believe me, after a long period of celibacy, there is nothing better than taking your partner in your arms and kissing every part of his body as you hold each other and make love beneath the stars.”

“Show me,” breathed Nick, his hands reaching out to unfasten John's waistcoat buttons. “We've waited long enough – let's not torture ourselves any longer.”

John grinned. “Oh yeah...”

***

_ Next Time: With the boys finally married – and the marriage consummated twice! – it's time for them to set off on their honeymoon. Where will they go? _   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, in case you were wondering, I did write the song for John and Nick's first dance! The other song - the one Nick and Dan danced to (before they got interrupted!) is 'Private Universe' by Crowded House.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys set off on their honeymoon.

_ 9th July, 2013... _

The first voice sounded amused, if rather nervous. “This is not a good idea! Don't you think that Jack and Ianto will freak out if they catch us up here?”

“What?” The response was a laugh of shock. “Have you actually ever met Jack? He'll be storing the CCTV footage to watch it later on!” 

“Okay, okay – Jack will keep the footage to watch, but Ianto will freak out if we're caught up here.” 

“Oh, stop fussing!” Another laugh and the sound of someone's shirt being ripped off. “Besides, we are legally married now – what's wrong with flaunting it a bit? Besides, I think I can handle Ianto – I've seen him doing a damn sight more than this on the autopsy table with Jack when they think everyone's gone home!”

A pause followed. “Oh. Right. Well, I guess that changes things a bit.” 

“A bit?!” The first voice laughed. “Since when have you turned into such a prude?”

“I am  _ not _ a prude! I just don't fancy having your cousin bitching at us on the morning of our honeymoon. It tends to take the gloss off things just a little bit.”

“What?!” A different voice interrupted them. “You've already had to delay actually going on your honeymoon for a week because of that Rift and you think that Ianto bitching about you shagging on Jack's desk will take the gloss off the fact that you two are married?” 

There was a click and then a light blazed on revealing Matt and Garrett standing in the doorway, both of them apparently very amused at the sight of Nick mauling John, who was spread out, half-naked, over Jack's desk, spilling papers everywhere as he did so. Whether they were more amused by John trying to hold back out of some sort of deference to Ianto, despite his obvious arousal, or by his badly ripped clothes that Nick had obviously tried to get off him in a great hurry, however, wasn't entirely clear. 

Before he could make up his mind, though, Nick straightened up and gave the others an easy smile, apparently completely unbothered by the fact that not only were his glasses hanging off his nose, but also that his shirt was only on one shoulder and his shorts were open, revealing far more than perhaps would be considered decent. “Hello, boys,” he said, casually leaning against the desk so that his hair trailed over John's bare chest and his very impressive crotch in front of Garrett's face. “Seen something you...fancy?”

John laughed and straightened up. “I've rubbed off on him,” he said, wrapping his arm around Nick's waist. “And I think he might have rubbed off on me. It's the only explanation for why I'm not shagging him senseless over this desk at this precise moment.” 

“I'll say you've rubbed off on me,” chuckled Nick. “The sheer number of stained sheets and clothes is more than enough to attest to that.”

Garrett let out a squeak of shock at Nick's words, which made John laugh. Clearly, even what the rest of the team had lately dubbed a 'lesson in lightening up' that his rollercoaster trip to Vegas and his spontaneous wedding had given him hadn't gotten him immune to his partner's flirtatious nature. In fairness, he was a bit shocked by Nick's forthright words as well, although he was far too busy remembering just how forthright his partner could be in other areas.

_ And if those aren't pleasant memories, I don't know what are... _

He was rather surprised, though, when Nick poked him hard in the ribs, almost causing his bones to shift position. “Ow! What was that for?” 

“Oh, come on; stop acting so prudish!” scoffed Nick. “You love it, really, and you know you do. The thought of everyone knowing that we've done it over Jack's desk turns you the hell on.”

“It certainly does,” said Matt, chuckling. “At least, if that bulge in his shorts is anything to go by, it does. Besides, what's the big deal? Before the wedding, you two hadn't gotten any for six months; I'm surprised you've even left the bedroom since we came back to Cardiff.” 

“We weren't even planning on being in Cardiff at this point, you know,” retorted Nick. 

John suddenly turned towards his husband. “You know,” he said slowly, “you're right. I do love the thought of everyone knowing that we've done it all over the Hub. It turns me on more than I think you could imagine. But do you know something?” He hooked his fingers into the belt loops on Nick's shorts and tugged him close, a broad grin spreading over his face, “I love you more.” With a laugh, and a quick wink for Matt and Garrett, he bent down and kissed Nick again, almost pushing him onto the desk. 

“I need an insulin injection,” muttered Garrett, who was turning a little green at the very public display of affection between his two friends. 

“No, you don't,” said John, who hadn't taken his eyes off Nick for a second. “You both need to leave us alone before you end up seeing an awful lot more than either of you had bargained for.” 

“Unless you fancy joining us,” added Nick, grinning wickedly. Garrett squeaked again and rushed out of the office, Matt hot on his trail. As soon as they were alone again, Nick turned back round, giggling. “Did you see their faces?” he spluttered. “I thought Garry's eyes were going to bug out of his head!” 

John laughed with him. “You are a very naughty man, Dr. Jones,” he growled and covered Nick's mouth with his own. “A very...naughty...man,” he ground out, punctuating each word with a kiss. 

“Indeed I am,” chuckled Nick, reaching out and spinning them around so that now he was the one pressing John against the desk. “Oh, and by the way? It's Hart-Jones now.” 

John fell silent for a moment before another broad grin spread over his face. “I love you,” he gasped and pulled Nick on top of him as he fell backwards onto the desk. “I love you so damn much,” he panted, his hands groping frantically at Nick's shirt and kissing every part of his skin he could reach.  _ Wow, _ he thought as he finally managed to rip the shirt away,  _ he really is beautiful. Look at him, lying there with that mane of red hair and that gorgeous grin on his face...how on earth did I manage to not jump him for six months?! _

“Seen something you like, Captain?” asked Nick, his voice innocent enough, but his brown eyes were sparkling with mischief. 

_ Shit. He knows what calling me that does to me! _ John licked his lips and swallowed convulsively. “You know damn well I have,” he answered, pulling Nick back on top of him and kissing him to within an inch of his life. “Oh, you know I have...Doctor.” 

~*~

_ Twenty minutes later... _

“Shouldn't...we be...going on our...honeymoon around...about now?” asked John as he tried not to focus on what the naked man in his arms was doing to him. “I mean...we've delayed it enough already...right?”

“True.” Nick came up for air, his face flushed and his glasses hanging off his nose. “But isn't me shagging you senseless a good reason for a slight further delay? Besides,” and his eyes travelled down their bodies, “we can't exactly leave right now; one step out of the tourist office and we'd be –”

“Arrested for indecent exposure?” 

John jumped at the amused voice coming from the doorway and glanced up to find Ianto and Jack watching them. Ianto was clearly trying to look disapproving, but failing miserably since his mouth was twitching and his pupils were slightly dilated as he stared at them.

“Hey, guys,” said Nick, calmly pulling himself into a sitting position without as much as a blush. “You look as if you're enjoying the show.” He winked at his cousin and grinned at them both.

Ianto's mouth dropped open in shock. “I...you...”

Jack, however, was watching with his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth. “Well, what can I say? It's a damn good show,” he chuckled. “Please tell me you didn't shut off the CCTV.”

“Of course not!” scoffed Nick. “We know you, Jack. Plus, the girls would castrate us if we tried.” 

Ianto shook his head. “Honestly, you two!” he chastised them mildly. “Can't you keep your –”

“No,” said John, his smile turning positively wolfish. 

“If you were married to this man, would you be able to keep your hands off him for more than a second?” asked Nick, waggling his eyebrows.

“Yes!” said Ianto emphatically. “I've got a man of my own, thank you very much!”  

“Gentlemen, gentlemen!” said Jack, clapping his hands. “As much fun as it is to hear you all bantering away like this, John is right. You two do have a honeymoon to be going on, and I do need my desk back.”

Nick stared at his friend for a moment before shrugging. “Yeah, okay,” he said ruefully and pulled his clothes back on, though John was quite intrigued to notice that he had decided to go without the white boxer shorts he'd pulled on that morning; instead, he threw them into the cloth sack at the back of the office where Ianto kept all of Jack's dirty washing from when he'd been on a night shift. “Okay,” he said finally, turning to his husband and clapping his hands. “So, where are we going?” 

~*~

_ Two hours later, Bristol International Airport... _

John had known that his idea would impress Nick; the man had a love of flying that surpassed anyone he knew, including Jack – a fact that had surprised them both equally. He had, however, failed to consider just  _ how _ impressed Nick would be, though this was made much clearer when he suddenly found himself with an armful of redhead and being kissed to within an inch of his life. 

“Wow!” he gasped when he was finally able to speak. “I've had some great reactions to ideas, but that has to be the best! If I'd known what this was going to bring out in you, I'd have done it a lot sooner.”

“Ha!” said Jack, who had come to see them off. “It was my idea, and you know it!” He grinned over at Nick, who was hopping up the stairs to the cockpit. “Do I get a storm of kisses as well?”

“You should be so lucky!” scoffed Nick, without even turning around. He bounded into the cockpit and a moment later, John heard him yell out, “This is fantastic, fantastic,  _ fantastic _ !” 

Jack chuckled. “You'd better get up there, John, otherwise he's going to be flying that plane alone.” 

“Aye, aye, Captain!” John saluted his friend, gave him a hug and bounded into the cockpit, laughing out loud when he saw that Nick was reclined in the black leather pilot's chair and wearing a ridiculous-looking hat and a mouthpiece. At this moment, he was fiddling with some of the controls and making announcements that had very little, or nothing, to do with flying. 

“We're not going to be getting very far if you keep talking like that, you know,” he said, walking behind Nick and rubbing his shoulders before he kissed the top of his head and sat down beside him. 

“It's your fault,” said Nick amicably. “I'm not entirely sure how, but it is.” 

“Hey!” John playfully slapped him across his shoulders in mock protest. “You were the one making the suggestions in the first place!” 

“Yes, but it's your fault for being so damn gorgeous.” 

“Well,” John preened a little, “I guess I can admit to that. But right now, I believe we have a honeymoon to be heading off on, so I'd get us in the air before I start trying out some of those things you were suggesting!” 

Nick grinned and started up the engine. “Oh yeah,” he said and settled down to the controls, his grin spreading further over his face as he taxi-ed the plane across the tarmac, slowly gathering speed until the wheels finally left the ground and they were soaring over Bristol, watching as the houses and roads grew smaller and smaller until finally they were swallowed up by the clouds.

John whistled. “You really are a keen flier,” he said. “That was one of the best take-offs I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing.”

“Really?” Nick raised his eyebrows. “Wow, you must have been with some bad pilots; that was one of the worst take-offs I've ever done.” 

“Keep telling yourself that,” retorted John. He leaned over and checked their altitude. “Okay, see that metallic blue button there?”

“Yeah, what is that?” 

“That, my friend, is the self-installed hyperdrive.” 

“Hyperdrive?” repeated Nick, laughing. “What are we going to do, make a jump into hyperspace or something?” Then he caught John's nod and laughed harder. “That's a bit Star Wars, isn't it?” 

“It might seem so, but the principle is sound enough,” said John. “Besides, unlike when Han Solo tries it, this one actually works.”  _ I hope. _ “And it will automatically set the course for where we're going, which is great news, because I want to surprise you and I can't really do that if I'm giving you flying directions!” 

“Hmm.” Nick cocked his brow slightly. “Well, in that case...let's go, shall we?” Reaching over, he pressed the button. “I hope this doesn't end up making you – woah!” 

John heartily agreed.  _ Woah is about right! _ He managed to bite back the scream that was building in his throat, but he couldn't stop himself from gripping the seat so he wouldn't pitch forwards onto the controls as a golden light enveloped the plane and filled the cockpit before the plane suddenly took off with a burst of almost terrifyingly violent speed into the swirling golden dust of the Rift tunnel. Flashes of colours burst from every direction, briefly enveloping the ship and exploding around them like fireworks. 

“This is incredible!” exclaimed Nick, who had an enormous smile on his face, even though he'd gone almost as green as the dragon on his shirt.”It's like the best ever rollercoaster!” 

“So, it's better than Alton Towers?”

“I've never been to Alton Towers, but this has to be better than anything there!” shouted Nick as the plane abruptly nosedived several feet. “For one thing, my friends who've been there say that it's what they imagine it could be like in space! But this actually is in space!” 

“I had noticed,” said John weakly. “And I swear that the universe has gotten more unstable since I last travelled through it.” 

Nick whipped round. “John, are you telling me you're getting travel-sick?!”

“You don't exactly look too brilliant yourself!” retorted John, reaching out to grip the arms of the chair. “No matter; we're coming out onto the other side now.”

“The other side of what?” asked Nick, but then the question was answered as the plane shot out of the cloud and into... 

“Woah,” Nick whispered. “Now, I see what we came out the other side of.” He gazed out at the view from the cockpit. “The universe.”

They were now flying through a deep blue sky, which seemed to grow lighter in the distance, until it eventually brightened into the stunning bright shade of the aquamarine stone that made the dragon's eye in Nick's necklace. Tiny whisps of cloud shot past them, flashing silver and white as several slowly rising suns began to shine and send their rays of light all over the horizons. Entire solar systems and galaxies became visible before their very eyes, the planets twinkling and glowing like large and colourful stars. 

John picked Nick up and pulled him into his lap. “I wanted to show you the real beauty of the universe,” he said. “I get the feeling that you didn't really get much of a chance to see it when you were with the Time Agency.”

“No,” said Nick quietly. “No, I didn't. I was a little busy trying not to get myself killed and trying to resist the increasing desire I had to kick Orion's arse into oblivion.” 

“Well, I'm going to change that, right here and now,” said John, slinging his arm around Nick. “Your guided tour of the universe starts here – and there's a lot that I can tell you!” 

“I'm sure there is – starting with where we're actually going.” 

“Why?” asked John. “You worried that we'll get lost, even with this state-of-the-art navigation system that I installed in the plane?”

“No!” laughed Nick. “I trust you and your technology...well, sort of.” He patted John's leg. “Just honest curiosity – you don't have to tell me the name of the place; just point it out to me. I'm guessing you can see it from here, right?” 

“Well,” John shifted a bit, “yes...you can see it...just. See that little blue planet there?”

“The one that looks like a rather misshapen diamond?” asked Nick. “Yeah, I can just see it. Looks a bit far away, doesn't it? It'll take us forever to get there.” 

“No, it won't.” John flicked a switch and illuminated another display on the control panel. “See that? That's the speed we're travelling at and that's the distance to where we're going. So, you see, we're actually travelling much faster than you think we are.” 

“But...” Nick's mouth dropped slightly. “But...it looks tiny! The planet, that is.” 

“It is small,” said John. “It's only about the size of Britain and Ireland – including the Irish Sea. It's small, but very beautiful, being made up of thousands of different islands and sea that's so clear you can see every freckle on your nose in it.”

“Hence the insistence on the snorkelling gear.”

“Exactly. And the views of the universe...” John sighed. “It's like nothing you've ever seen before and, I'll wager, nothing you'll ever see again. On a clear night, it's said that you can almost make out Mount Everest, although whether that's true or not, I'm not sure.” 

“It sounds like paradise,” said Nick dreamily. He leaned back and gazed out of the windows as the universe rolled past them, his eyes half-closed as John's voice drifted through the cockpit, rich with laughter as he recalled some of the escapades he and Jack had gotten up to during their days with the Time Agency. 

John let out a soft breath and absently played with the bracelet on his wrist. He still almost couldn't believe he was wearing it; that he'd found someone who he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. 

Well, he amended, he couldn't spend the rest of his life with Nick; as much as he wanted to, his immortality prevented that. But they could at least spend the rest of Nick's life together, however long it lasted. 

_ My God, _ he thought, catching sight of himself in a reflection in the window.  _ Sometimes, I hardly recognise myself. I can't believe I've changed so much that I'd ever want to wear one of these bracelets. I don't think I would even have done that for Jack!  _ He chuckled softly and twirled the bracelet around.  _ Although, there was that one time when we had to pretend to be a newly married couple so we could get onto that planet where the time runner was hiding! _ His soft chuckles suddenly escalated into full-blown laughter at the memory of that mission – that had almost ended in an orgy involving several of the inhabitants of that particular planet, not to mention the errant time runner in question – and within seconds, actual tears of mirth were streaming down his cheeks and he was gasping and clutching his sides with laughter. 

“John?” Nick's quiet voice suddenly cut through his musings and he turned to see his partner looking slightly alarmed. “You okay?” 

“Yeah.” John coughed and smiled. “Just thinking of something, that's all.” 

“Must have been something pretty amazing for you to miss that we've just landed,” said Nick, pointing out of the window. “And it looks beautiful from where I'm sitting.”

John blinked. “We've landed?” he asked, craning his neck slightly. “So we have!” He unfastened their seatbelts, ignoring Nick's protests that he could do it perfectly well himself, kicked open the door and stuck his head outside, allowing the bright summer sun to carress his face and breathing in the sweet smell of the flowers and fruits, all offset by the tangy aroma of the turquoise water all around them.

A moment later, he heard a melodious voice singing and he smiled and turned back to Nick. “Come on,” he said, pulling him out of his seat and leading him out of the plane and onto the soft grass towards the sea where their ride was waiting. “Your carriage awaits, my love.” 

Nick chuckled and stroked the creature's nose as it warbled softly at him. “Is she a...”

“A dalphonic rhapsadon, yes,” said John. “They're native to this planet. This one is a special friend of mine; I've known her for years.” He tickled her nose, making her chuckle. “And she's going to take us over the water to our home for the next week. So, let's hop on.” 

“Seriously?” Nick looked uneasy. “It won't hurt her?” 

“If it did, I wouldn't be telling you to do it,” said John, seating himself on one side and pulling Nick beside him. He stroked the dolphin's head. “Let's go!” 

***

_ Next Time: The first week of the honeymoon as told by our beloved Captain Hart! (Well, the slightly censored version, anyway!) _


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys begin the honeymoon of their lives!

**John's Honeymoon Diary – Part One**

~*~

_ 10th July 2013... _

Oh, my God. This is it. Our honeymoon. Me and Nick. We’re married. Married. 

Wow. It’s just refusing to sink in. I still can’t believe I actually found someone who I would want to marry, much less that I went through with it. I'm hardly able to sleep at all tonight, because I just couldn’t get my head around it all. Must be being on our honeymoon, because up until now, I was fine! I guess it's true what they say about delayed reactions.

Anyway, the very fact that I can't sleep is the very reason I'm sitting up at this Rift-cursed hour writing in my diary. You would think that after the day we've had today, I would be worn out. Nick certainly is; he's completely out cold and hugging the pillow in his sleep. (And, I have to say, I like to think that I had a little something to do with that!)

My God, he looks so incredible, sprawled over the bed like that with his hair scattered across the pillow. And that cute little smile spreading over his face; I wonder what he's dreaming about. Whatever it is, it's obviously a good dream, because he's making those cute little sleepy noises that he always makes when he's happy and his eyelashes keep flickering like they do when he's in the middle of something good. 

Oh, God, I can't believe I just wrote that. Listen to me, I sound like a lovesick teenager, as Ianto would say with that shit-eating grin on his face. Who on earth would have thought that just looking at Nick could make me gush like a fountain? And yet, reading back over this entry so far, it looks like I just did. 

Well, as that song goes – it must be love! 

Anyway, what a day we've had today! I have to admit, I am glad that we decided to have a rest when we touched down yesterday, because boy, did I need a good night's sleep – and, come to think of it, a good day's sleep as well! (Hmm, I'd better make sure I keep this out of the way when we get home. If Jack or, heaven forbid, Ianto ever got hold of it, I'd never hear the end of it!) 

I admit – and this is the first and last time I will say, or write, this – I didn't really have any concrete plans for today. I thought we could just wander around the island we're staying on and maybe go for a swim and sip cocktails on the beach or by the pool. A nice lazy first day of the honeymoon. However, Nick got other ideas; he found out about an all-day market that was taking place in the famous Gardens of Queen Shuar and insisted that we go there. 

“A honeymoon isn't just about sunning yourself by the sea or having sex twenty-four hours a day. It's about getting out and exploring your surroundings,” he said. “Besides, didn't you say that you wanted to show me some of the beauty the universe had to offer?” 

Well, how could I say no to that? 

So, we took a boat across the water to Ostmere, the largest and most famous island on Asiana's northern hemisphere. It was a long journey from Cesourn, the island we were staying on, but one of the boatmen had obviously heard that it was our honeymoon, because he played his lute for us as we travelled and as he played, all the fish in the water came over and gathered around us, occasionally jumping in the air and singing for us. I didn't even know fish could whistle, let alone sing, but apparently, there are some non-earthly breeds that can. It was almost like all the animals in the vicinity of the boat were drawn by this guy's playing and decided that now was the time to put on a special show, just for us! 

By the time we arrived at Ostmere, I for one wasn't sure if Nick's grin could get any wider than it had when a pair of tiny baby seals found their way onto the boat and curled up, sound asleep, in his lap. It was just the cutest thing I have seen in years! (Again, I must make sure Ianto never gets hold of this book, because he will  _ never _ let me live it down if he finds out I used the word 'cute'!) 

Anyway, as things turned out, I was wrong; when we stepped off the boat and saw the market and the gardens for the first time, his face just lit up when he saw the markets. Even though it was the middle of the morning, there were torches lit with tiny flames outside each of the millions of stalls, flames which I knew would grow bigger and brighter as the sky grew darker, until finally it would be as if we were sat in the sky itself and surrounded by stars. 

As soon as we stepped onto the shimmering white sands, Nick instantly rushed off to try and find the gardens. “Sightseeing first, shopping later,” he said. “There's no point buying souvenirs until you actually see the things you want to commemorate.” 

I couldn't help but chuckle. “You obviously haven't been 69th century-style sightseeing,” I told him. “You do your shopping first and buy all the models of what you're hoping to see and then compare and contrast to see if the original is as real as the model.”

Nick looked completely baffled. I hastened to explain. “When you go to places like archaeological ruins, that's usually all you see, right? Ruins.” Nick nodded. “Well, sometimes, you can find models or pictures of what the place would have looked like in its original state, right?” 

“Right!” said Nick. “I get it. Well, we'll try that if we find an ancient site or two while we're here.”

I wasn't entirely sure he did get it – he is a 21st century man, even if he is more open-minded than most – but I didn't really have time to argue the toss, because he started rushing off again. Honestly, I swear he gets faster and faster every day! 

Mind you, when I saw those gardens, I realised pretty quickly that they were well worth rushing for. 

I knew from my history that these gardens and their markets weren't like anything I had ever seen before, or like anything that I would ever see again. Nick wasn't especially impressed when I told him that, and I admit, it did sound horrendously cliched. Nonetheless, the moment we crossed the beach where our boat docked and raced over the hill, I knew that it was the truth. 

Even all my childhood years of following my mother around when she worked in the forests at home could not have prepared me for what I saw. Back then, when I was really young, all I really cared about was being around my mother, watching her work and admiring all the colours of the different plants – well, that and eating all the fruits and vegetables that came our way! It wasn't really until I grew up a little more that I actually started paying attention to the names of any of them – although that was more so I knew which plants were most associated with passion and romance than anything else. It was my way of working out where the best places to bring the men, women or various aliens I felt like being amorous with at the time. 

I admit, I had regularly entertained the thought of trying to find some of those plants and dragging Nick into some secluded bower so we could re-enact some of those instances. But the beauty of this place instantly banished those thoughts completely from my mind. 

Well, all right, not completely – I am still human, after all. But I was just overwhelmed by the sheer...sheer majesty of the gardens. In fact, I'm still overwhelmed, so much so that I can't really describe them. Hopefully, the multitude of photographs Nick took while we were there will be able to convey what I can't even begin to put into words. There were rows of genetically engineered Japanese maples shimmering in a million colours; from their natural red to purple and even silver like a river in the moonlight, as we walked through the groves of the Sanctuary of the Karanees Warriors – the sacred priesthood to which Queen Shuar's husband, King Bael, belonged – up to the memorial of the beloved couple who fought and died for the peace of this beautiful planet. 

I did, however, have to laugh when Nick was gazing around, trying to take everything in and then found himself a few moments later face first in a very deep and very wet swamp! He was even more disturbed when he realised that a heavily pregnant dalphonic rhapsadon had decided that this would be an ideal place to give birth – this part of the gardens was a fin's length away from the island's northern beach – and eventually came back up covered in marbled green mulch, shining golden Ostmerean flies and with three baby space dolphins curled up in his shirt while the mother licked and nuzzled them! Nick wasn't especially impressed at first, especially since one of the dolphins was chewing on his shirt, but when the mother started warbling, singing the song the dolphins sing when they welcome their young into the world, he just sat there, in the middle of the swamp and watched them, fascinated. He even showed them to the water's edge and let them swim around him as they got a feel for their home – even though two of the babies kept trying to eat his glasses and the mother kept shuffling underneath him and trying to take him for a ride! He handled it all with considerable aplomb, to be fair, despite sliding off her back when she unexpectedly leapt out of the water and did a somersault in midair! Thank goodness for that friendly guy on the lone stall who took pictures, because I was laughing too hard to hold the camera! Just to thank him, I bought some trinkets off him – a necklace made of green aerite with a chain of silver for Catrin and two large snowglobes, one with a green aatia and her babies and the other one with a troop of dolpins for the girls. Finally, after a lot of deliberation, I also picked out a mobile of different coloured creatures for Trev – Nick said that he had always loved things that moved around above his head. 

After all that, we'd both worked up an appetite, so we made our way back to the main square – stopping at several different stalls along the way, including spending a good half an hour at a book stall while Nick swooned over the shelves – where someone had set up a blazing campfire and was roasting tasty snacks over it. The smell of meat and fresh vegetables was almost enough to make me swoon, even more so when I actually tasted one of the sauce-covered chicken wings. Wow. I thought I was a good cook, but this was like nothing I'd tasted before in my life! 

Nick, however, was more taken by the various colourful fruits and went around sampling each and every one of them, sometimes accompanied with a groan of almost orgasmic pleasure. 

“Damn,” he murmured to me, after biting into a particularly tender piece, “this is almost better than sex.” 

Oh-ho! That was something I knew I would have to test out when we came back! And test it out, we did – with the result that I like to think that I proved to my husband that there is no fruit in this universe that can even come close to being as good as sex. 

I certainly tired him out well enough, anyway! 

~*~  

_ 12th July 2013... _

Nick woke me up at an ungodly hour in the morning, babbling crazily about some sunrise or other. I was halfway through replying by throwing the covers back over my head and mumbling something about him waking me up at a decent time, when I felt something very cold and wet splash over my head. I couldn't help it – I yelled and sat bolt upright, to find Nick, armed with an empty bucket, standing over me with a huge smirk on his face. 

“Maybe next time, you'll get up when I call you,” he said, tossing the bucket out of the way...and, at the same time, revealing that he was naked. 

“Nick, it is beyond ridiculous o'clock in the morning,” I grumbled and pulled him back onto the bed. “Besides, in case you hadn't noticed, you're still naked.”

“So?” Nick raised his eyebrows at me. “In case you hadn't noticed, we're on our honeymoon. If anything, you expect to see naked lovers in the pool or the sea. And besides – I heard yesterday that there's going to be a triple sunrise this morning. How often do you have the chance to see that?” 

This time, it was my turn to raise my eyebrows at him. “Nick, I was with the Time Agency. I travelled to planets that you wouldn't even believe existed. Do you really think I've never seen a triple sunrise?” 

“Okay,” said Nick. “Then how often do you think  _ I'll _ have the chance to see a triple sunrise? Unlike you, I haven't been through the galaxies a million times and I don't intend to go either!” He bit his lip slightly. “And, unlike you, I don't have all the time in the universe at my disposal either.”

“Okay, okay!” I hastily pulled myself out of bed and pulled Nick towards me, rubbing his back and his hair. I kissed him slowly and rested my head against his. I can handle most things that the universe decides to throw at me, but the one thing I can't stand is seeing the love of my life – yes, I did just call Nick that – in distress at any time or in any way, shape or form. If that's a crime, then go on and sentence me. I don't care. I'm saying it out loud and I'm proud – I'm in love. 

“Come on then,” I said, clasping Nick's hand. “Let's get going. But I hope this is worth it.”

“Oh, it will be,” said Nick, his face now sporting the cheekiest grin I've ever seen. “That I promise you.”

He led me out of the complex, through mazes of shimmering white crystal and tangling vines until we stepped outside and onto the sandy beach where we lay down and let the waves roll over us. I turned to smile at him...and at that point, I realised that there was something missing.

“Nick?” I said. “Where are the suns? Or, come to think of it, where's  _ a _ sun?” 

He didn't answer, but his mouth was twitching uncontrollably and a moment later, he was rolling around in the water and giggling like a lunatic. I frowned – and then caught sight of the face of his watch, reflected in the pale lights from the complex. 

“You little shit!” I exclaimed. “You got me up too early!” 

“No, I didn't,” replied Nick. “I knew that getting you out of bed would be quite a chore, so I decided to allow us some time so we didn't miss this. However, had I realised how quickly a pair of big puppy eyes would work, I might have reconsidered my plan of action.” 

I gaped at him – yes, I actually gaped at him – before bursting into laughter myself. “You brat,” I said before I picked him up and threw him, as he screamed with laughter, into the water. He came up, his hair clinging to his face, neck and shoulders and drops of water glistening to his bare torso. I stood stock still for a moment and licked my lips, my heart pounding as he walked over to me, swaying his hips and tossing his hair as he came to the shallower water. However, that momentary distraction cost me dearly, because a moment later, he grabbed me around the waist and started tickling me mercilessly until I was the one screaming for mercy! 

However, I managed to distract him pretty easily when I kissed him. No one can withstand the power of my lips – even when they aren't coated in paralysing lipgloss! 

Of course, Nick certainly tried. “Git,” he growled when I finally had to come up for air. 

“I know,” I replied and started to lean back down to kiss him again, but before I could, I noticed that the water was beginning to glow a deep gold with flares of red shooting through it. We both looked up as an enormous golden sun rose up and slowly spread across the sky, closely followed by a red sun soaring across the sky, leaving behind brightly coloured tracks like the ones left behind by fireworks. At the same time, the water began to ripple and thousands of dolphins, adults and children alike, began poking their heads up above the water and singing cheerily, welcoming the dawn and birds started flying across the sky and singing as if in answer to the words of their dalphonic friends. 

For a while, we just lay in the water and watched as nature began to arise as if from the depths of the earth. Then, very slowly, the third sun, this one opalescent and shining with all the colours – and more – in Nick's engagement ring, began to rise slowly and then to flow through the sky to be replaced by the bright gold and red of the previous two suns, until the sky, while appearing to be a bright cloudless blue at first glance, was shining with thousands – millions, even – of different colours, flickering like stars. 

I turned towards Nick, who was staring up at the sky with his mouth hanging open. He didn't seem able to breathe, let alone speak; the sunrise had just left him speechless! I would have laughed at how ridiculous he looked, but I remembered that I had reacted in exactly the same way the first time I had seen a triple sunrise. And the one I had seen had been nowhere near as good as this. 

“Well, you were right,” I admitted. “That was definitely worth getting up early for.” 

“Oh, yeah...” replied Nick, slowly turning round to face me. “And you know what else I'm right about?”

“Oh yes.” I reached out and pulled him towards me, stroking every inch of his skin. “I know that you were right about us not needing our clothes just yet...” 

After I proved to Nick just how right he was on that front – several times over – we returned to our rooms and caught a few hours more sleep, so we'd be fresh for what I had planned for the day. Well, at least, that was what we tried to do. Apparently, an hour's worth of mind-blowing sex in the sea while watching the sun – or suns – come up can wake you up better than a very cold shower. Strangely, this doesn't always seem to work very well back at home. 

Maybe it's something to do with this place. 

Anyway, we ended up sitting in bed with me twirling the stems of the flowers that were laid out the previous night in the air and trying to catch them, while Nick was sprawled out across the covers, reading, just as he had been yesterday at the beach. Thinking about it in hindsight, getting him an e-reader wasn't very smart on my part, because while it meant he didn't have to nearly break his back carrying his usual tonne of books, it also meant he could just carry the same number of books on a small handheld device! Having said that, I know how cranky he can get when he's got nothing to read, so I guess I had my own best interests at heart. (Not to mention he makes a gorgeous bookworm – much better looking than the actual bookworms Mum used to find eating words into her plants at home.) 

Eventually, though, he did get up and get dressed – though whether this was because he was getting restless or because his e-reader needed charging, I wasn't sure – and then turned to me and clapped his hands. “So, what are we doing today?” 

I grinned. I couldn't help myself. “Oh, you wait and see, Nick Hart-Jones!” I teased him, grinning as his double-barrelled name rolled off my tongue. “Have I got a treat in store for you!”

“I don't know,” replied Nick, tossing his hair. “Have you?” 

God, I love it when he does that. “Oh yeah,” I growled and started kissing him senseless, rubbing my crotch against the front of his trousers.

“Well, you'd better stop doing that, or I'm never going to find out what it is,” said Nick as he pulled away from me with what looked like a great effort. “But believe me, we will pick this up when we get back here.” 

“Oh, I think you might find we'll be picking it up long before we come back, actually,” I replied and dragged him out of the room before he could ask any more questions. I led him in the opposite direction to where he'd taken me that morning until we were stood in the middle of the sun-filled courtyard. Brushing a stray liana out of my hair, I whistled loudly and forced myself not to giggle when Nick jumped beside me. 

“What was that in aid of?” he almost squeaked.

“Summoning a ride,” I said. “Now, close your eyes.” 

“A ride?” Nick sounded intrigued. “What sort of – argh!” He let out a yell of shock as our 'ride' shot between both our legs and then sent us flying through the air. When he opened his eyes, the first thing Nick did, upon realising he was essentially riding on the front of a very large green dragon, was to burst out laughing. 

Okay, it wasn't  _ exactly _ a dragon – it was a fully-grown aatia – but the concept was apparently the same. Unfortunately, I didn't understand the concept in question. 

“What's so funny?” I asked, mock-offended. 

“Sorry, “ chuckled Nick. “It's just that if you remember some of the books I read, you'll remember that riding a green dragon can carry some interesting significance – specifically for a man.”

I frowned in thought and mentally ran through Nick's packed bookshelves back at our house. As I thought about it, I recalled a series of books that I always used to change the name of to something that sounded more fun – until I realised that doing so was a very good way to end up sleeping on the sofa. 

“Ah!” I shouted out loud, making Nick jump. “Now I get it! Although, I have to admit, your reaction wasn't quite the reaction I was expecting!” 

“Well, it took you a while to get it!” replied Nick, laughing. Then he cocked his head sharply. “Wait a minute – what reaction were you expecting?” 

“You've seen Titanic, right?” I replied. “Well, there's a scene in that where –” 

“You mean the 'Jack, I'm flying!' scene?” Nick whipped round and looked at me. “Nah, I thought I'd leave that one to Ianto. After all, he's the one with the partner who's called Jack.” 

“Good point,” I conceded. “Hey, there's our landing spot!” I reached around Nick and guided the aatia downwards, through the gossamer-thin clouds and towards the mountain above our destination. I smiled and breathed in the strange mixture of pine leaves and lillies from thousands of different planets as we dropped onto the mountain's peak, right in the middle of a cluster of enormous blue and purple Asiane lillies. I slid down onto the ground and lifted Nick down beside me, hugging him against my chest, though I had to take care to keep my nose away from his hair, so that his awful mint shampoo wouldn't block out our surroundings. 

“Pine Lily Mountain,” I said. “The most famous mountain in the Lairani Range. And there,” I pointed down to the sprawling ruins set out below us on the beach, “is the ancient civilisation of Namitor, also known as the Bluelake Downs.” 

“What a place to live – right on the beach and with these mountains behind you!” said Nick reverently. “But...how do we get down there? The same way we got up?” 

“Nope,” I said. “Come with me.” Grabbing his hand, I led him towards one of the tallest and thickest trees on the mountain. “Notice anything a bit different about these trees?” 

“Yeah, they're all full of lianas,” said Nick. “What happened, did someone plant them?”

“Not exactly.” By now, I was halfway up the tree. “Asiaen pine trees have lianas growing. Back before the Time War, when Gallifrey was still in existence, a group of Time Lords and Time Ladies who took a strong interest in botany went travelling through the universe taking plant samples from lots of different planets, including Earth. They tried to genetically modify plants and recorded their findings when they returned to Gallifrey. One of those Time Lords was the Doctor.” 

Nick, who had caught up with me by now, stumbled in surprise. “So, that's how their findings survived.” 

“Yep. The Doctor remembered to store the findings in a more secure place than just in the archives at the Time Academy. He managed to communicate them to several other worlds – including my own homeworld.” 

“Did your mother take an interest in that?” 

“A huge interest. She came here a lot, because, as well as just being an archaeological place of beauty, the Bluelake Downs was also a site where she practiced several of those same experiments. Her mother and her grandmother and her descendants did the same and then when my mother died, her sister and neice took up her work.” I fingered one of the lianas. 

Nick smiled and clasped my hand. “A lot of history there. Are your aunt and cousin still here?” 

“My aunt died a few years before I joined the Time Agency, but her daughter, Shilaya, is still there. The Doctor told me that he came here to invite her to our wedding, but she couldn't make it, because she had a huge presentation on the work that our family have carried out here.” 

A bird warbled in the tree beside us and I grinned, clearing my throat. “Now, let's go down and see this place. Hold on tight!” I tried to wrap my arm around him, but he shook his head and moved away, grinning. 

“Oh, no,” he said. “If we're going to be swinging down there, I am so doing it myself. And this is something that you can't lure me away from with the promise that you'll kiss me all the way down.” 

Damn it. “Okay,” I said, pulling myself up onto the liana. “But I get to snog your brains out when we get to the bottom.”

“Deal.” Nick high-fived me and leapt onto his liana and swung through the trees, squealing with joyous laughter. I chuckled and followed him. However, I stayed silent and waited for Nick's reaction when he arrived at the bottom...

And then I heard it. The splash of someone hitting the bottom. At that point, I let out a yell of excitement and let go of the liana and dropped down...into the large pool at the bottom of the mountain. I pulled my head back up – and looked straight into Nick's exceedingly unamused eyes. 

“You could have told me about the – mmph!” he began, but I quickly cut off any further protest he could have made when I fulfilled my end of the deal we made on the mountain and kissed him hard, straddling his hips even through the water and the thin fabric of his combat trousers. 

Eventually, Nick managed to pull away and glare at me properly. “Prat,” he growled, though he couldn't help the grin sliding across his face. “Shame on you, distracting me like that!” 

“Oh, but you loved it really!” 

I sat up straight, my heart thudding. I knew that voice only too well, but I didn't see how she could be here. She wouldn't even be born for another three thousand years, for God's sake! And yet, there she was, watching us with amusement sparkling in her brown eyes. 

“I...Shilaya?” I gasped, stumbling out of the pool. “What are you doing here? How did you get here?” 

“Your friend the Doctor,” she said, kissing me on the cheek. “When I told him I couldn't come to your wedding, he stayed to listen to my talk and then dropped me off here so that I could surprise you.” 

It suddenly dawned on me that we had arrived slap bang in the middle of a time when the Downs had been apparently left alone for several hundred years, apart from one time my mother told me about when someone had been seen someone tending to the plants. But I knew I couldn't say anything to her, because I couldn't risk messing with the timelines. Instead, I pulled Nick out of the pool and patted him on the shoulder. “Shilaya, this is my partner, Nick Hart-Jones.” 

She turned slowly and looked him up and down, her eyes slightly analytical now. “Looks like you picked a good one there, cous,” she said. “But I sincerely hope he's good enough for you.” 

“Trust me, he is,” I assured her before her gaze got too piercing. 

Shilaya nodded. “Well, you have always had exceptional taste, I suppose. But even so...you'd better take care of him, otherwise I will find a way to track you down and –”

“Trust me,” interrupted Nick, “I've already had this speech and I'll tell you the same thing – I have absolutely no intention of doing anything but take care of your cousin.” 

“Good.” She nodded and smiled. “Then, welcome to the family, Nick Hart-Jones.” She then tied her hair up off her face and smiled at me again. “It's good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” I answered, giving her a hug. “I reckon I owe that Time Lord one – even if he did take us to a monastery for my stag do!” 

“Yes, he mentioned that. How did you cope?” 

“Oh, he corrupted the monastery and turned it into what you might know as the Vegas Galaxies,” answered Nick airily. “Well, with a little help from his friends, of course.” 

“Of course.” Shilaya laughed again. “Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds alone; some of us have to work.” She shook Nick's hand and ruffled his hair playfully before giving me another big hug. “Don't be a stranger,” she whispered huskily. 

“I'll try not to be,” I said and kissed her again before she rushed away towards the woods at the other end of the Lairanis. 

“You have some amazing relatives,” said Nick, absently pulling a piece of seaweed out of his hair. 

“Yeah.” I nodded and pulled him into a hug. “Yeah, I suppose I do.” 

“Hey, what's that?” Nick suddenly asked, turning around and pointing out the only compeltely undamaged building on the entire site. “It's beautiful; looks as if it's made of pearl.”

“This is the Castle of King Cian,” I answered. “It's possibly the oldest building on the whole of the northern hemisphere that is still standing. It once belonged to Cian, a young widowed knight, and contained a long-lost relic. The story goes that Cian came here after the death of his partner to live out his remaining years with their young son, vowing that he would never love another as long as he lived. He renounced fighting and established peace here, creating a society filled with laughter, poetry and music – and, above all things, love. Even though he had denied himself that pleasure, he would not deny it to others. Despite not being an offical king, the people loved him so much that they installed him as one within a year of his arrival. He ruled for many decades and it was a long and happy reign. When he eventually died, he begged his people not to mourn him too greatly, because in death, he could once again be with Raindyn, his true love.”

“Did Cian's son rule after him?” 

“Yes, he did, but his reign was very short and he died before he reached thirty. No one knows what happened. Since then, there have been other rulers, but they too only lived for a short time each and gradually, this once proud city has fallen into disrepair. Only the castle still stands tall and some say it's because King Cian's spirit watches over it and protects it.” 

“What was the long-lost relic that the castle used to contain?” 

“No one's certain. Some versions of history tell us that it was a book that Raindyn had given to him before he died, but others say that it was a piece of jewellery he wore on the day of their wedding, and the only piece he owned. Others say that it was simply a painting of the two of them. But whatever it was, it vanished on the same day that Cian died. Whatever it was, he took the secret to his grave.” I sighed softly, thinking about the couple and the depth of their love for each other – how Raindyn had given his life for Cian and how, in return, Cian had refused to be with another until his dying day. 

The scary thing was that, as I looked at Nick, who was gazing rapturously as he walked around the site, I realised that if anything were to happen to him, I couldn't love anyone again any more than Cian could. Just as Raindyn was the love of his life, Nick was certainly the love of mine. No one else had even come close.

A dalphonic rhapsadon suddenly leapt into the air in a graceful arc, splashing water all over the sand at our feet. As he descended back, he turned around and gave us what looked like a very broad wink and flapped his tail, as if inviting us to dive into the water with him. And, believe me, it was an invitation I was more than happy to accept! 

“Come on,” I said to Nick. “Let's go for a swim and a snorkel.”

“But we didn't bring any of the snorkelling gear,” objected Nick. “Or any of our swimming gear, come to that.”

“Trust me, around this island, the water is so clear, you aren't going to need any of that,” I said as I stripped off my clothes. “There are places where you will need them, but not here.” 

“Why, is it some sort of nudist colony or something?”

“Something like that,” I answered and dove in, just as another dolphin leapt over my head, showering me with little droplets of warm water.

Nick raised his eyebrows sceptically at me, but he shrugged, undressed and followed me into the water. Barely a second later, I heard him squeal in shock and excitement as millions of different coloured fish and sea creatures swam right past his nose. Even the tiniest babies were clearly visible to the naked eye and not one of them seemed remotely phased by our appearance. In fact, a small yellow fish was swimming over Nick's arm as I watched, running her thin tail through his fingers and clucking happily at him. 

When we eventually broke for air, Nick's eyes were wild with happiness. “That was incredible!” he gasped. “Whoever said that the best snorkelling you could get was in Australia had obviously never been here!” 

“No, they hadn't,” I agreed. “Also,” and I pulled him close to me, “there are a few things you can do here that I bet you wouldn't be able to do in broad daylight in the Great Barrier Reef.”

“Oh, yes?” Nick raised an eyebrow. “What did you have in mind?” 

“Well, rather than telling you, let me show you...” 

And show him I did! 

***

_ Next Time: John continues to reveal the honeymoon adventures... _

  
  



	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More honeymoon adventures!

**John's Honeymoon Diary – Part Two**

~*~

_ 14 _ _ th _ _ July 2013... _

For the first time in I don't know how long, I was wide awake and fully dressed long before Nick even stirred. In fact, he was sprawled out underneath the covers and snoring like a steam train while I was getting dressed. I was almost surprised he didn't wake the dead with the racket he was making! I didn't even realise he snored in bed; he'd certainly never done it before, as far as I've noticed. 

Hmm, I wonder if Ianto has ever snored as loudly as that? Or if he does now? That might be something to ask Jack about when we get home. Come to think of it, I could ask Ianto if Nick has always snored like that; it could be that I missed it all this time, because he's been so good at tiring me out that I just fell asleep. 

Okay, now  _ why  _ am I sat here thinking about Nick's overly loud snoring? After the day we've had, this is so  _ not  _ the time to be thinking about whether Nick used to snore. And what a day it's been – although, I have to admit, I wouldn't have thought it would work out this well!

I had intended to take Nick to this fantastic wildlife reserve up in Verthaven Forest he'd been gushing about non-stop since he found out about it. It is a pretty amazing place, to be fair, but it's also the sort of place where you need to have warm and sunny weather to enjoy it. Unfortunately, I woke up late last night to the sound of torrential rain and when I checked the weather forecast (nifty little thing, these wrist straps!), I saw that it wasn't supposed to be stopping in any big hurry, and let me tell you, the weather forecast from these things is at least 99.9% accurate at all times. 

So, obviously, I had to change my plans. Who in their right minds would want to walk through a forest in this sort of weather? Oh, wait, I forgot – my husband. My mud-loving, hill-hiking, rock-climbing  _ Welsh  _ husband. 

Yep, Nick was less than happy to see that I'd changed our plans for today, and only marginally happier to see me dressed in biking leathers. He said that the only reason he liked them was because they clung nicely onto my butt. Which, I have to admit, they certainly do. 

“Dirt bike racing?” he spluttered. “Seriously?” 

“Why not?” I asked with a grin. “It's fun, it's fast, and, really, who else can say they did it on their honeymoon? Besides,” and I knelt down in front of him, “have you ever done it on the back of a bike surrounded by people watching?” 

“I can't say I have,” answered Nick, running his tongue thoughtfully over his bottom lip. “But I also can't say that it sounds like a bad idea.” 

“So, is that a yes?” I asked. “Because I know you wanted to go to that wildlife reserve.”

“I did,” insisted Nick. “I mean, I still do. But listening to what's going on out there, I'd have to say that I think you're right; this does definitely not seem like the weather for it.”

I chuckled. “I'd love to say that it sounds worse than it looks, but I would be lying,” I said ruefully, opening the curtains. “In fact, looking at that, I'd say that it looks a lot worse than it sounds.” 

Nick got out of bed, winced and closed the curtains in disgust. “Ergh, this looks worse than it was yesterday! I know I'm Welsh and all that, but even I have limits to how much I can walk around in the rain.” He suddenly turned to me with a grin. “Biking, on the other hand...” 

I grinned. “You want to race me there?” 

“I hardly think that would be fair,” retorted Nick even as he groped around for something that vaguely passed as biking clothes (which proved to be thick dark blue jeans, a white top with a silver dragon design and his black leather jacket). “After all – you probably know where we're going a damn sight better than I do. You'd be waiting there while I got lost, no doubt!” He brushed his hair energetically and reached for an elastic to tie it back with until I slapped his hand away from it. “Hey, what was that for?”

“Leave your hair loose,” I said. “You look so gorgeous with it loose and you'll look even better with it flying behind you on the back of a bike.” 

“And isn't that the truth?” teased Nick. “All right, my hair stays loose – assuming you can cope with the smell of mint shampoo up your nose!”

“Oh, trust me,” I said, catching his arm. “That is  _ not  _ going to be a problem.” Nick gaped at me. “I know how much I complain about your shampoo, but trust me, this time it's going to be worth it.”

Nick's shocked expression turned into a huge grin. “All right – bring it on!” Suddenly, he gave me a sharp glare. “But, I will tell you one thing; if we go home without going to that wildlife reserve –”

“Believe me, we are  _ not  _ going to be missing that,” I assured him. “But, even allowing for the fact that you're Welsh, this is definitely not the weather for it.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “And yet it is apparently perfect weather for dirt-bike racing,” he muttered, but he followed me anyway. I chuckled to myself at his words. He would see for himself pretty soon just how perfect the weather was for what we were going to do.

“You have no idea, Nicky,” I muttered to myself. “Absolutely  _ no  _ idea.”   

We had to hire a small spacecraft to get us to Lal Bel Hidden Hill on Ethini Island – the galaxy-renouned  _ haunt  _ (to borrow Nick's term) of dirt-bike riding – rather than taking the usual water route, because the weather was so bad that we would probably have drowned before we got there. In fact, Nick actually wondered if we'd be able to do anything once we got there with this much rain. 

“I mean, rain is one thing,” he said. “But this is just ridiculous – and I'm Welsh, for St. David's sake!” 

“Don't worry,” I said, patting his leg. “This lot can do anything in any weather. Believe me, with how much rain this place could get, they've had a lot of practice. Besides,” and I ran my hand over his thigh, “if the worst does come to the worst, it's not as if we'll have nothing to do on the way back, is it?”

“That is very true,” said Nick with a positively lupine smile. “And those leather seats do look  _ very  _ comfortable indeed. So,” and he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, “if we don't get the chance to shag on the back of a bike, you can at least guarantee that I'll be having my wicked way with you on one of those chairs?”

I laughed. “Baby, I can guarantee that anyway. Whether or not we do manage to get on those bikes, you can bet your life that I will not be missing out on the opportunity to ravish you on one of those chairs!” 

“Oh-ho!” Nick's eyes lit up. “You seem very confident about who's going to be ravishing who!” He glanced out of the window. “But I don't think we've got time for that right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because we've just come in to land.” Nick grimaced as the ship landed on the runway, splattering mud all the way up the sides, and probably up onto the roof if the splashing sounds above us were anything to go by. He jumped up and made his way outside, me hot on his heels. “Sheesh. That'll take some cleaning up,” he remarked, pointing at the ship, which hadn't been especially clean before we left, but was now almost completely brown. 

“And if I know these people, which I can safely say I do, they'll get this whole thing cleaned up faster than Ianto will,” I said. “Seriously, you want someone who's more obsessed with being clean than your cousin, look no further than here.” 

“Here?!” spluttered Nick. “But it's a –”

“Dirt-bike racing track, yes, I know.” I couldn't help but chuckle at the shellshocked way Nick was staring at me; he really did look like a gaping fish at that moment – admittedly, an absolutely gorgeous gaping fish. “One of the great ironies of the universe, I suppose – some of the most anal-retentive people known to mankind work at a dirt-bike racing track. Still, I guess it is pretty amazing when you find something you're really not expecting, right, Nick?”   

I didn't receive a response. “Nick?” I repeated and turned around to find that he wasn't there. I ran back to the ship, in case he had gone back to explore the cockpit. But only the pilot was there and she seemed surprised to see me back so soon, wondering if we had changed our minds and decided to go somewhere else instead. 

“No, we're going to be staying here for a while today,” I assured her. “I just came in here to ask if you'd seen my husband. He seems to have run off.” 

“Oh, the red-haired hottie, you mean?” she chuckled, tossing her hair back over her shoulder. “One of those shops over there,” she pointed to the entrance to the biking ground, “caught his eye and I'm guessing he went to check it out.” 

I was about to ask which shop it was – some of them are pretty scary, even by my standards – when a pair of arms encircled my waist and soft lips started grazing and sucking on my neck. I smiled and turned around, gazing into a pair of familiar hazel eyes. 

“Hi,” I said, framing his face and pulling him close so I could kiss him properly and let my fingers run over his face, neck and ears. “God, your skin is so soft, I could touch it for...” I trailed off when I felt something long, cold and hard attached to his right earlobe. 

“John?” Nick looked at me, tilting his head. “You okay?”

“Yeah...Nick?” I traced my fingers over the long, golden thing in his ear. He gasped softly at the touch and I knew he knew what I'd found. “What's this?” 

“Oh.” Nick chuckled. “I got a piercing. Well, actually, I got three piercings.”  

“Three?” My voice came out in a squeak. I couldn't help it. “You got  _ three  _ piercings? In  _ one  _ ear?” 

“Yeah.” Nick showed me the back of his ear where, sure enough, there were three spikes poking through. “You can't quite tell because it's just one earring, but there's three holes here; one in the dragon's head, one in his back and one in the tail. But I've got a bunch of single studs as well – and the odd little dangler as well...and you've got a really weird look on your face.” He frowned at me. “Don't you like it?”

“Oh,  _ I  _ like it. I like it a lot.” Whatever expression I had on my face quickly morphed into a grin. “But Ianto is going to  _ kill _ you.” 

“Ianto can think whatever the hell he wants. He's not my mother,” retorted Nick. Then his face scrunched up in disgust. “And that is a very disturbing thought.” 

“Ew, yes.” I shuddered. “Please, don't put it in my head again. I really don't want to equate your cousin, whom I actually quite like, with that bitch whose only good act in the known universe was giving birth to you and your sister.” I stroked the dragon earring again. “I'm just saying, Ianto is going to freak when he sees it.” 

“Even if he does, I don't care. It's my body, so it's my decision. Besides, I'm a doctor – does he really think I'd be thick enough not to check the place was sanitary first?” 

I chuckled again. “Fair point. I see you not only got the common sense genes, you also got the adventurer genes when it comes to you two.” 

“If by adventurer genes, you mean I'll try anything once, yes, I did,” said Nick. “But really, it's more a case of Ianto got the prude genes and I got the playboy genes.” At that point, he turned around and wiggled his butt slightly. “And aren't they very nice jeans too?” 

I licked my lips sharply. “Yes, very nice. Now, let's get going, before I rip them off you and we never get on the bikes!” Without waiting for an answer – not that I expected to get one, really – I gathered him up in my arms and carried him up the hill, grinning as I felt the rain falling through my hair and dripping down the back of my neck. 

“Oh,  _ hell  _ no.” Nick whipped round and glared at me. “You are definitely  _ not  _ carrying me.”

“Oh, really?” I asked. “What're you going to do, jump out of my arms and land face first in the mud?”

“That's exactly what I'm going to do,” said Nick, seconds before he...well, he jumped out of my arms and onto the ground. “Just minus the landing face first into the mud bit.” He shook his head. “What? You could say I've had a lot of experience getting around in bad weather. I mean, born and raised in Wales and went to university in Manchester. Not exactly places where you get gorgeous sunshine every day, you know.” Snorting, he tossed his dripping hair off his face and rushed over to one of the waiting bike handlers. “Let's go!” 

“Fuck me, you're energetic,” I half-grumbled, but before I could say, or think, anything else, an almighty roar sounded in my ears and I nearly jumped out of my skin. “What the –“ Turning round, my eyes nearly popped out of my head when I saw my husband, his eyes alight with sure signs of a surge of excitement and his long hair flying behind him, come crashing through the mud on an enormous emerald green and silver bike. He actually took to the air for a few minutes and landed beside me, sending a blast of mud skyrocketing upwards and narrowly missing me by inches. 

“Whew!” he laughed, grinning at me. “That was some ride!” 

I smirked – I couldn't help it. “A better ride than the one I gave you last night?” I asked, leering at him. When we first got together, Nick would have blushed as red as his hair – especially if Ianto was around – and quickly found some job that needed doing or an excuse to make an urgent phone call. 

But not now. This time, he tossed his hair off his face and leered right back at me. “I don't know,” he said. “I think maybe you'll have to give me another ride and then I can make a more informed decision.” His voice was casual, but his eyes were snapping and twinkling behind his glasses. And,  _ damn _ , if that sight didn't mean I had to summon every ounce of willpower I had inside me to stop myself dragging him right back to our bed and  _ showing _ him that I was a better ride than that bike! But I had brought him out here in the first place and, let's face it, it's kind of stupid to feel inferior to a motorbike, so I forced myself to straighten up and climb on behind him.

“You sure you know how to handle this thing?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his waist. 

“I'm pretty sure I can pick it up along the way,” answered Nick. “Besides, it can't be any riskier than the self-installed hyperdrive you put on the plane that got us here.” 

“Bite me,” I retorted, wrinkling my nose as strands of his hair flew in front of my face. “And for goodness sake, tie your hair back.” 

“Why?” asked Nick. “It's so windy, it's going to blow everywhere anyway. Especially  when I do  _ this _ !” Without waiting for me to respond, he slammed his foot down on the pedal and almost took off through the air, dark mud shooting around us, almost forming a perfect archway. “Wow!” he shouted out, his voice echoing through the rain. “Listen to that engine roar!” 

I had to admit, it was a pretty amazing sound and the vibrations shooting through me made it even better. Tightening my arms around his waist, I watched as he sent us flying through the air as if the bike had wings. It was intense, not to mention insanely exciting – so much better than the last time I'd come here, although considering how that particular date had ended, that wasn't really very surprising. 

“We're coming to land!” shouted Nick, his voice whipping through the air. “Hold onto your stomach!” 

“No need!” I shouted back. “My stomach is perfectly sturdy enough, thank you very much!” 

“Oh, really?” scoffed Nick. “Well, we'll just see about that!” Casting his face briefly up towards the rain, he turned the bike into a nosedive so sharp I was amazed he didn't fall right over the front of it. “Here we go!” he cried out, waving crazily to anyone who happened to be watching – I wasn't paying that much attention at that point, to be honest – and hit the ground running, speeding down a steep hill towards one of the largest mud pools I think I'd ever seen at this place. The wheels crashed into the mess as he finally pulled the bike to a halt and then, quite calmly, jumped straight  _ into  _ the mud pool with a broad grin. “What?” he asked. “I told you, I got the adventurer genes.”

“You certainly did,” I admitted, jumping off the bike. “Jesus, Nick, that was the most fun I've had in ages, you thrillseeker!” 

“Oh, it's not over yet!” chuckled Nick, pulling me down beside him. “I believe I still have yet to make my informed decision regarding who's the better ride; you or Draco over there.” 

“Oh, so you have doubts about my capabilities, do you?” I asked, leering at him. “Well, well, well, we certainly can't have that, so, bring it on,  _ baby _ !” 

_ *** _

_ Next Time: The final part of the honeymoon adventures. Where will they go – and will the weather improve?  _

 


	14. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final part of the honeymoon adventures!

_ 16 _ _ th _ _ July 2013... _

Well. 

After two days of nearly solid rain, the skies cleared and when I pulled back the curtains, I was greeted with the same blistering sunshine we'd had before the sudden storm. 

Did I mention the weather round here could change like that? If not, well, I'm mentioning it now, because it really can. I once came out here, back when I was a wayward young man, and ended up in a rainstorm and almost sunburned on the same day. Needless to say, my...friend, for the want of a better word, and I shared some really interesting times, in more ways than one. I don't think I've ever managed to get through so many sexual positions in a weekend since then, if the truth be told!

Unfortunately, my beloved husband was still fast asleep, his head burrowed in the pillow and his long red hair spread over his shoulders. Apparently, the energy he had when we went dirt-bike racing had been sapped away now that the rain was gone. 

Typical.

I bent down, moved his hair out of the way and gently pressed a kiss behind his ear, smiling when he stirred slightly. “Is there life there?”

“Probably.” Nick slowly turned around and faced me, yawning and rubbing his eyes. “What time is it?” 

“About mid-morning.” I looked closer at him and frowned. “Are you okay? You look a little pale.”

Nick blinked and sat up. “I'm fine,” he murmured and even though he sounded a little hoarse, he managed to drag up a smile. “You just wore me out yesterday and last night.”

Now, I admit to being a lot of things, but I am certainly not a fool – or, at least, not as much of a fool as I used to be. As draining as working for Torchwood can be, I had never seen Nick look as tired as he did in that moment and I knew perfectly well that it was from more than he was implying. Still, it was also obvious that he didn't want to put a dampener on our honeymoon, so I put on a smile of my own. “Oh? And was it a good wearing-out?” 

“Oh, please,” snorted Nick. “You know perfectly well it was.” He sat up slowly and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. “Anyway, what are we going to do today?” 

“How about Verthaven Forest?” I suggested. “Now that the weather's better, we could finally get up there and see the reserve.” I tilted my head and looked hard at him, silently asking him to be honest with me. “That is, if you're feeling up to it.”

For a moment, I thought Nick was going to lie back down and tell me he just wanted to take it easy today, he looked so tired. But, really, I suppose I should have realised he wouldn't do that, not my crazy bulldog of a Welshman. Instead, he grinned and scrambled out of bed and into his clothes. 

“What?” he asked when he noticed me staring at him. “You've been playing this place up since we got here, do you really think I'm going to miss my only chance to actually see it?”

“No, I suppose not,” I admitted wryly. “You stubborn idiot.”

“You're wrong there,” retorted my husband, sliding his arms around my waist. “I'm  _ your  _ stubborn idiot.” 

I burst out laughing. “Too true,” I said, leaning over to kiss him. “Too true.” 

Despite the relatively short distance from where we were, the journey up to Verthaven Forest wasn't exactly going to be the easiest. That was because, due to environmental laws, no manmade transport was allowed for all but the first part of the journey. Predictably, though, Nick wasn't too bothered about that.

“It just makes it more of an adventure,” he said. “Besides, don't the best things come to those who persevere enough to wait for them? Or something like that, anyway.”

“Or something indeed,” I said. “By the way, how do you feel about gondolas?”

Nick blinked at me a few times. “I've never been to Venice, so I can't really comment on that.”

“No, the cable car version.”

“Oh.” He shrugged. “I've never been actually been on one of those either, but they look pretty cool.” 

“Okay, good,” I said. “Just wanted to check you didn't have a newly discovered fear of heights that you haven't told me about yet.”

Nick stared at me for several seconds and folded his arms. “John,” he said slowly, “how long have we known each other?” Then, realising that this might be the wrong question, he amended, “Okay, how long  _ would _ we have known each other were it not for the whole thing where we got separated through time and space?” 

“Er...about four years?” I ventured. 

“Three years, nine months and six days,” said Nick. “Granted, we did get shot into different parts of the universe for a lot of that, but still – have I ever given you any sign that I might have a problem with heights?”

“Well...no,” I admitted and felt myself blush a little at my own stupidity. “And I guess given how much you like flying –”

“Exactly.” Smiling, Nick scraped his hair back and pulled on a peaked cap. “So, what are we waiting for? Come on!”

I had to laugh at that, because he immediately took off at a run, only to stop, turn back abruptly and return looking a little embarrassed. “Which way?”

Once I'd managed to stop laughing, I took his hand and led him a little way down the road. “See that white house there? That's where the gondolas leave from. They take you partway through the rainforest, but if you want to get all the way to the top, you have to walk.”

“And we're going right to the top.” Nick tilted his head at me. “Aren't we?” 

For a moment, I thought about checking, once again, that he really was all right with doing this. He had wanted to see Verthaven Forest and the reserve ever since I had mentioned it in passing when we first arrived. But at the same time, the picture of his tired eyes wouldn't leave me alone and I worried deeply for his well-being.

I stifled a laugh at my own thoughts despite myself. If someone had told me even ten years ago that I would even be married, never mind trying to wrap my husband up in cotton wool, I would have, quite frankly, packed them off on the fastest ship to Insanity Rehab. Anyone who was anyone back then knew only too well that I wasn't someone who would settle down in a hurry – the shock of the time loop business with Jack nearly sparked an interstellar apocalypse – and yet, here I was, on my honeymoon, hovering over my husband like a mother hen.

“Hello?” Nick nudged me in the ribs. “Where are you?”

I blinked. “Sorry, love, I was miles away.” Star systems away, actually.

Nick's grin turned coy suddenly. “Well, maybe you'll have to let me bring you back here then, won't you?” 

I laughed at that – I couldn't help it. “Oh, you certainly will,” I agreed, reaching out to slide my hands underneath his shirt.

“Ah-ha.” Nick stepped aside and smirked. “Not yet. Later – if you're good.” He bumped his hip against mine and walked off. “Coming? Or are you planning on just standing there and catching flies?”

Had I been in my own right mind at that point, I may have pointed out that whatever I was catching was very unlikely to be flies as he knew them. But, as it was, I couldn't do much more than splutter in shock as he rushed off, laughing wildly.

“You damn tease,” I growled when I finally caught up with him. “I'll get you back for that one, believe me.”

“I look forward to that moment then,” said Nick. He leaned against the side of one of the gondolas and smirked. “In fact, I look forward to it  _ very  _ much.”

I shook my head. No matter how much I wanted to be annoyed with him, it really was impossible when he grinned like that, with his eyes sparkling and loose strands of his hair blowing over his face. “Oh, I love you,” I said, wrapping my arms around him and planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Love you right back.” Grinning, Nick slipped into the gondola and pulled me in after him. Immediately, the door slid closed and we started to move.

It was a fairly fast journey, but not so fast that we couldn't easily look around. Even from our increasing height, we could see the colours of the fish as they swam through the almost transparent water, sometimes breaking the surface before dropping back down with a splash that rippled across the surface.

“Show-offs,” I chuckled. “But that's no surprise; every single thing that lives down there never misses a chance to show off underwater. They know that anyone can see them because of how clear the water is.”

“How?” asked Nick.

“Don't underestimate the wildlife around here.” I flicked his earring playfully, making the dragon's tail twitch. “They're much smarter than they would have you think.”

“I'm sure they are,” said Nick. “But I meant to ask how so much of the water stays so clear. I mean, you said that there are some parts where it’s not as clear when we went snorkelling near Namitor, but I haven’t seen any sign of them yet.”

I blushed a little. “I may have been using relative terms there, actually. Wherever you go, the water here is much clearer than it would be back on Earth, but there are some parts where it can get a little murkier, to the point where you would need snorkelling stuff to get a really good view. But even there, you can naturally see much more than you would at home.”

“How is that possible?” 

“No one's really sure,” I admitted, opening the window and watching a swarm of vividly coloured butterflies and dragonflies soar past us. “But biologists have been investigating the ecosystem here over recent years. But they've not found anything yet – mainly because I don't think they know what they're looking for.”

“Huh.” Nick smiled and leaned back, gazing around him, his cheeks flushed with excitement. “So, what are we going to see?”

“You'll have to wait. I'm not sure you'd believe me if I told you. But,” I added almost as an afterthought, “make sure you take a very deep breath before you step outside.”

“Why?” asked Nick. But he got his answer almost immediately when a strong, yet sweet, fragrance wafted in through the open window. I blinked a little, but, having been accustomed to this for some time, it didn't take me long to relax and enjoy it.

Nick, however, almost choked. “What. Is.  _ That _ ?!” he spluttered, covering his mouth and nose with his hands.

“Zadrae,” I said, waving my hand outside as we came to the landing deck. “They were created from breeding honeysuckle with jasmine and, somehow, the smells of both the flowers amalgamated into one which gave off something pretty powerful, as you can tell. But they've also been bred with quite a few other plants as well, which did lead to some interesting results.”

“Like what?” asked Nick.

“Well, from what Shilaya told me when we were younger, you could breed that stuff with almost anything.” The gondola doors opened and, as we stepped out, I motioned to a carpet of small, slightly trailing, blue flowers. “My mum used to love this hybrid-strain,” I mused. “She used to do all sorts of hybrids – some of which didn't always turn out too well! – but these forget-me-not ones were her favourite experiments.” 

Carefully, I picked a few sprigs and placed them behind Nick's ear. “I remember Dad planting some of them over her grave when she died and swearing that he would never forget her.”

“And I don't think he ever did,” replied Nick. “Even after everything he put you through, now that I've met him, I don't doubt it for a second.” He sat back on his heels and smiled, only to apparently realise that something else had caught my attention. “John?” He leaned closer and frowned at me. “What is it?”

“Look.” I cleared a space in amongst the flowers and showed him what was there. “Arnras. The smallest rabbits found in this quadrant of the galaxy.”

“They're so tiny!” exclaimed Nick. “How old would they be?”

“Well, believe it or not, you're actually looking at a mother with her young,” I answered, showing him. “Look – here are the babies – they like to take shelter under the plants, because the petals and leaves are thin enough to let the sun through, but they can still provide shelter – and food – as well.” 

“Where's their father?”

“Ah.” I grinned. “The father of this litter is resting. Look.” I pointed out a small cave made of tightly woven plant stalks. In the cool shade, a male arnra lay on a bed of petals, surrounded by four other males who were all watching over him and looking around as though they were watching out for disturbers of their peace. “He's going to need his rest so he can support the other fathers when they give birth.”

“What?” spluttered Nick.

“It's not just human males who can carry children and give birth, you know, Nicky,” I chuckled. “Sorry to shatter that illusion for you, by the way.”

“Well, up until we got together, I did think that the one really good thing about being a man was that you couldn't get yourself up the duff,” said Nick dryly. He looked at the sleeping father. “God, he looks so tired.”

“It's not an easy process, especially for such a small animal,” I said. “That's why the babies are with their mother for now; after the birth, the father is left extremely fragile for several hours, so she takes the babies and feeds them until he's strong enough. Look.”

We watched as the mother tapped her nose against one of the babies, who made a noise somewhere between a purr and a yip and nudged its nose against the mother's nose and one of her floppy ears. Slowly, the other babies began to wake and do likewise.

“They want to see their father,” I whispered. “She'll take them over in a minute – this could be entertaining.” 

Sure enough, the little family had barely come within a metre of the cave when the four guards immediately froze, their ears pricking up and twitching. Then, very slowly, they turned around and faced the newcomers, their previously soft brown eyes now turning that rather menacing shade that storm clouds have right before we get a deluge of rain – something, I might add, that living in Wales makes one all too familiar with.

That may not  _ sound  _ too frightening, coming from what are essentially tiny rabbits. But then they opened their mouths to show rows of sharp white teeth and started hissing and tapping their feet against the ground in a slow and oddly threatening rhythm. It stopped the others in their tracks at any rate.

“Woah,” breathed Nick. “That's...scary. What are they doing?”

“It's their way of telling the female, with the best will in the world, to fuck off,” I said. “They do it when they believe the male is still too weak from the birth and feel protective of him.”

“And what happens if she decides to ignore them?”

“Oh, it usually ends in a fight to the death,” I answered straight away. Seeing the shocked look on Nick's face, I chuckled. “Yeah, for vegetarians, arnras are bloodthirsty little bastards at times – although, fortunately, I think this mother's taken the hint. Yep, look, she's retreating.” 

“Good,” said Nick. “I'm not sure they're all that cute any more,” he added as he stood up.

I looked up to answer, but then I noticed what was standing behind him. “Er, Nick?” 

“Hmm?” Nick only looked at me for a moment, but it was just long enough for the animal behind him to poke him in the back. I almost doubled up with laughter when he squeaked in shock and gaped at what he saw standing there, which just made me laugh even more. Clearly, he'd forgotten one of the basic rules of being with a Time Agent (or working at Torchwood, for that matter); anything you see in a science fiction or fantasy novel could actually exist somewhere and at some point in time. 

This includes unicorns. In fact, this unicorn was now calmly using its horn to comb Nick's hair as it – he, actually – blinked indolently at him. As for my husband, I hadn't seen him look so confused since Myfanwy developed a taste for the pineapple on Hawaiian pizza. 

Thankfully, I was there with him and I knew exactly what to do. I strode over to join him and started stroking the unicorn’s mane, combing the light tangles out with my fingers.

“That’s what he was asking for,” I explained as he pulled his horn away from Nick and hummed in satisfaction. “Male unicorns are vain little buggers and have this strange idea that everything else that lives is just as vain as they are. So, they appeal to this by combing hair or fur or whatever when they want some grooming of their own.”

“That might actually have worked on you and Jack,” replied Nick, petting the unicorn’s nose. “You’re both as vain as each other.”

“Hey!” I protested. “Jack, I’ll grant you. But me? Never in a million years. I just know that I look good. There’s a difference.”

“Oh yes? And what would –”

“Hey, come and look at these!” I interrupted to quickly distract him. “Lunafes – also known as ice-wolves.” 

Nick raised his eyebrow, but he followed me and looked. “Wow, they’re beautiful!”

“Aren’t they?” I picked up a tiny, almost ink-black newborn cub and placed it in Nick’s arms. “Their fur will turn paler as they grow older – they end up pure white when they reach old age, and, believe me, you do  _ not  _ want to piss one of them off.”

“I’m not sure there’s ever a time when pissing off a wolf would be a good idea, John,” retorted Nick. The cub in his arms started to wake up and squirm, so he lowered it back onto the ground. “There you go, little one.” 

In response, the cub squeaked and rolled over on the ground. We both watched, awestruck, as a silver female strode over and picked her child up between her teeth and left, barely pausing to acknowledge us.

“Gosh, they’re amazing,” Nick breathed. “But, how do these animals all coexist here?”

I took his hand and led him down a shaded path. “I wondered when you were going to ask me that. To tell you the truth, no one’s entirely sure. There’s a few theories people have floated, from genetic experiments right to it just being the way things are here.”

Nick bit his lip. “I may regret asking this,” he said slowly, “but what do these animals eat? They can’t all be vegetarian…can they?” 

“Not all of them, no, although they do eat plants.” I grimaced. “Nick, you know I told you once that there are some things that you just leave alone because you won’t like the answers?”

“Yeah?”

“This is one of them.”  _ Especially considering it’s our honeymoon. _

“Okay.” Nick conceded the point, though he still had that look on his face that said he wasn’t fully satisfied with the answer. But he shrugged and followed me. “Where are we going now?”

“Stay with me – and keep quiet.” I led him deeper into the forest, giving him time to take in the sights around him. The slowly setting sun was shining through the trees, reflecting in the pools of water the recent rains had left behind. The small drops of water on the leaves were shining like stars and lit up the whole forest until a sharp breeze spring up and blew the water over both of us, which sent Nick into a fit of silent giggles. I wanted to retaliate, but before I could, three lunafe cubs, their fur ice-blue, rushed up, tumbling over each other in their hurry, and ran straight into him, chewing his shoelaces and batting their heads against his ankles.

“Hey!” squeaked Nick, kneeling down and scratching their fur. One of them scrambled up and, placing its paws against his chest, started licking his face all over, while the others continued to roll around, apparently fascinated by him.

“Huh,” I said when he’d finally pulled himself up again. “That’s interesting.”

“What is?” asked Nick.

“As you may have guessed, ice wolves thrive upon the cold,” I explained. “That’s usually to the point where they won’t go near fire – in any form. That includes people who are fire Elementals.”

“So, why –”

“Why did they practically bowl you over?” I shrugged. “Damned if I know. But, personally, I’d like to think it’s because you’re just extremely special.” 

_ At least, you are to me. _

Nick blushed. “You sap.”

“Is it still sappy if it’s true?”

“Yes.”

“Huh.” I scratched my head and frowned. “I’ll definitely have to keep that one in mind.”

“Yes, you certainly will.” Nick grinned and kissed me quickly. “So, where were we going before I got set upon by baby wolves?” 

“Ah. Come this way.” Grabbing his hand, I took him down a long path scattered with flowers and leaves. I saw that the irostelle were changing their colours as the seasons changed.

It sometimes feels as though time works differently, here. Back on Earth, the middle of July would usually be the height of summer, although it wouldn’t always feel that way if the British weather had anything to do with it. But here, it’s a little different, because the rotation of the planet’s axis is slightly different to that of Earth. It means that we’re just approaching the start of autumn. 

Now, the trees are starting to turn from green to gold and shades of red, pink and gold are beginning to transform the previous bright blues and purple of the irostelle flowers, like the setting of the sun in a Plaibossian sky. 

“Hey.” Nick tapped me on the shoulder and pointed. “What’s over there?”

I smiled. “I hoped you’d notice them. They’re called liahds – tiny insects that glow and, as you can see, look quite beautiful. But that’s not all they do.”

“It’s not?”

“No. come here.” I pointed to the clearing where the liahds were hovering in the trees and on the ground, just as two large animals came out and started sniffing at the plants. One of them let out a tired-sounding growl and dropped down onto the ground while the other started playfully shaking a nichae branch, sending fruits tumbling from the tree.

Nick’s eyes were wide. “Can we get any closer?” 

“We can, but you have to be very quiet and stay completely calm,” I said, sliding my arm around his waist. “Styffs don’t like too much noise.”

“What are they?” asked Nick, his voice almost a whisper. “They look like some kind of dog.”

“They are,” I replied, and then felt myself blush. “Nick, do you remember I told you about my two-year relationship with a futuristic Alsatian?”

Nick turned round so quickly it looked for a minute as though he had given himself whiplash. “You mean –” he stopped. “God, I thought you were joking!”

“Nope,” I said. “Serious as extinction. But she was a great dog.” I smiled, remembering the trembling puppy I’d rescued (or “charmed” if Jack was telling the story) off a ship all those years ago. She hadn’t been  _ that  _ kind of girl by any means, but she had been a loyal companion and a dear friend.

“So,” Nick cut in, “you said that these…liahds,” he flapped his hand in the direction of the glowing trees, “do something more than just look pretty. Care to share?”

I nodded. “First thing you need to know about styffs is that they are very strong empaths. They can sense feelings and emotions that you’re not always aware that you’re feeling. It’s partly what makes them so cherished as pets; they’re very comforting and loving towards their owners.”

I paused, scuffing my foot against the ground. “But, on the flip side, their abilities mean that they can be extremely vulnerable. Too much emotion can cause them unbearable mental and even physical distress. I saw many of them die from emotional overload – especially when some sick bastards decided to try and train them as soldier dogs and send them into battle!”

Nick looked out at the animals coming out to join their friends. “They look peaceful now,” he said. “What happened?”

“About twenty years ago, a ship came here, apparently bringing tourists for a holiday. It wasn’t exactly your typical cruise ship, but, at the time, no one came here except holidaymakers, so no one questioned it.” I sighed. “But when the ship docked, the people on board started firing canons and soldiers came ashore. That battle lasted little over a week, but over twenty thousand people died.”

“Oh, my God,” gasped Nick.

“The only reason the casualties weren’t worse was because of a rather up and coming new organisation,” I continued. “Care to take a guess what it was?”

Nick stumbled in shock and had to grab onto a tree trunk to stop himself falling. “No way.”

“Oh yes.” I chuckled. “There was once a time when the Time Agency wasn’t full of egocentric maniacs, but instead had people willing to fight to do some good.”

“So, what happened?” 

“Human nature – oh, you mean here. Well, a group of Time Agents were here on what should have been a simple research mission – observe the planet, record what you find. Don’t interfere with the wildlife – you get the idea.”

“But they weren’t going to sit back and let the planet be attacked, were they?”

“’Course not. They got right in the faces of those bastards and gave as good as they got. They also stayed behind to help with the clean-up – and, believe me, there was a lot of it – and, in the middle of it, they found twenty or thirty traumatised styffs hiding under a tree full of liahds. When they tried to get them to move,” I grimaced, “well, considering what they’d been made to do, I’m sure you can guess.” 

A gust of wind whipped around the forest, sending leaves and petals flying around. Two styff puppies leapt around and started batting at them, trying to catch them in their paws. Nick watched and chuckled. “So, you’re telling me that the liahds are shielding them?”

“Yeah, basically,” I said. “Nick, trust me when I say that the results of emotional overload in empathic beings is not something you would ever want to see, nor is it something you could ever forget.” I shuddered a little.

Nick looked at me. “Hey,” he said, taking my hand. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah, fine.” I shook myself. “Just thinking.”

Nick raised his eyebrow at me, but shrugged and wandered off to have a closer look at the styffs, chuckling when one of them gently nudged something into his hand. He looked down at it and blinked several times, before he stood up and came over to me, his mouth twitching.

“John,” he said, holding out his hand, “that puppy just gave me this.”

I looked at the large ball of fluff he was holding. “Oh, it’s okay, it’s only a spirk. It’s completely harmless. There’s quite a few of them around here, because the styffs like playing with them for some reason.” 

Nick snorted. “John,” he said, lowering the spirk onto the ground and letting it run back to where it came from, “you can call it what you like, but, as far as I’m concerned, that is a  _ tribble _ .”

I blinked at him and laughed as I got it. “Oh, Nick, you and your Star Trek!” 

“Hey, you have to admit, you liked the last one!” 

“True,” I admitted. “But you and your cousin mentally imploding when you realised who the villain was meant to be was equally amusing.” I rushed off before he could answer, though I could hear him running after me, the – now familiar – rant about, among other things, the redesigning of the Bat’leths, ringing in my ears. God, but if I’d heard it once, I’d heard it a dozen times, to the point where I could probably have quoted him word for word on it! 

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” laughed Nick when he caught up with me. “You were just as bad at the beginning when the Enterprise was underwater!” 

“Should’ve known you’d remember that,” I chuckled. “Just answer me this question – at what point did you and Eye Candy – sorry, you and  _ Ianto  _ – start playing ‘Spot the Wrath of Khan references’?”

“As soon as Ianto whispered ‘Oh, they didn’t!’,” answered Nick immediately. “So, that would have been as soon as we realised we could.”

Shaking my head, I wrapped my arms around his waist. “Have I told you I love you recently? Even if you are completely mad when it comes to Star Trek.”

“Not for a few hours now.” 

“Huh. Well,” I pulled him close and nudged my nose against his. Suddenly, a strange feeling swept over me and, swallowing, I found myself staring into my young husband’s hazel eyes. 

“What?” asked Nick. “Is something wrong?”

“I just,” I stopped, shook my head and swallowed. “I really do love you, Nick. I don’t know how – after Jack, I swore I would never let myself do this again – but somehow, you’ve just…”

“I know,” interrupted Nick. “You don’t need to say it.” 

I rested my head against his shoulder, kissing his neck gently and breathing in his scent. “Mmm,” I murmured. Unfortunately, another gust of wind meant that his hair flew into my face and between my lips. I pulled back quickly, coughing and choking. “You’re still using that awful shampoo?!” I spluttered.

Nick leaned against a tree and laughed. “What can I say? This stuff really keeps the dandruff away – and leaves my hair silky smooth.”

“But it’s mint!” I cried. 

“There are worse smells. Trust me.” 

“I doubt it,” I chuckled. “Anyway, come on, there’s more that you need to see.” 

“Oh, no.” Nick shook his head. “We are not having sex just so you can show me that there’s a certain type of soil that changes colour according to your body temperature or something.” 

I blinked. “That exists?” I wasn’t sure whether to be intrigued or stunned. Even after all these years roaming around the universe, some things still surprise me.

 “According to Jack, yeah,” said Nick. “And, no, that was not an invitation to go and find it.” He paused. “Well, not on this trip anyway.”

“I’ll save that for our fifth anniversary, then.” I made a mental note to speak to Jack when we got home. “But, at the moment – come on!”

I led him away from the animals and into the forest where the trees hung long and dark. Now, there were only small patches of slowly reddening light on the ground as the sun began to set. Already, I could hear a few whispering noises as some of the animals began to take shelter for the night and the more nocturnal animals began to emerge. A flock of golden aevi soared over our heads and I smiled as Nick nearly dislocated his neck trying to follow the enormous birds as they disappeared amongst the trees. 

“Spectacular, aren’t they?” 

“You could say that,” whispered Nick, mopping his brow. “Getting pretty humid, though.”

“Of course it is,” I said. “We’re in what essentially amounts to a rainforest, after all.” I dipped my toe in the stream that was running alongside us. “Come on.”

“Where does that lead?” asked Nick. But I didn’t answer, because I knew perfectly well that he would see for himself soon enough. Sure enough, ten minutes later, we were gazing upon the famous Nur Dyal Falls. They weren’t the biggest waterfalls on the planet, or even in Verthaven, but they were certainly some of the most beautiful, because, depending on where you were standing, the light made the water shimmer different shades of blue and green, as though it was made of millions of jewels. 

A dalphonic rhapsadon family was playing in the pool beneath the falls, the younger ones occasionally trying to jump in the air and show off, but only rarely succeeding, all of them completely unconcerned with the green and blue aatiae flying around and watching them, their gossamer thin wings occasionally brushing over their heads and making them croon appreciatively. 

I suddenly became aware that Nick had asked me something and forced myself to pay attention to him. “Sorry, what was that?”

“What are those?” Nick motioned to the large silver snakes lounging on one of the banks. “I mean, I know they’re snakes, obviously, but…”

“They’re called cynoul,” I explained. “They’re a bit different to the sort of snakes you know.” Seeing the confusion on Nick’s face, I smiled. “They’re telepathic.” 

“Seriously?!”

“Yep.”

“Okay,” said Nick slowly. “I’ve seen a lot of strange stuff in the universe. I suppose – seriously?” He stared at me. “Telepathic snakes?”

“Yeah, I heard about them first in a bedtime story when I was about three,” I said with a chuckle. “Startled the hell out of me when I first found out that they were real, let me tell you. We found a bunch of them in our garden once and I wouldn’t go near the place until they’d moved out, because I just couldn’t stand the thought of a bunch of snakes knowing what I was thinking.” 

“I’m not sure they really wanted to know what you were thinking, if the truth’s known,” replied Nick. 

“Cheeky!” I laughed and gathered him up in my arms and dropped him into the water. The female dalphonic rhapsadon turned and, with what could only be a laugh, rubbed her nose against his cheek.  

Nick patted her head gently and turned to glare at me as I followed him into the pool. “You know, I hate it when you do that.” 

“I know,” I said. “But you look so beautiful when you’re soaking wet.” I brushed a lock of hair from his face. “And besides, out here, you’ll dry off quicker than I can get your clothes off.” 

“Well, you’ve probably disturbed the wildlife by making all that noise,” said Nick dryly, pushing a liana out of his way. “Or are they still too desperate to show off to be bothered by that?”

“Something like that,” I chuckled. “How else do you explain the Kroyan crabs and the joderi?”

“The what and the what?”

With a wink, I swam over to the falls and waited for him to follow me. “Look, here,” I said and pointed to a small dry patch shaded by a large tree. “What can you see?” 

“Holy shit,” whispered Nick. “They’re beautiful.” He gazed almost reverently at the rainbow-coloured shells the turtles were proudly displaying. Suddenly he laughed. “Hey, that one just winked at me!”

I nodded and snapped some photos on my vortex manipulator. “Yeah, they do that a lot. Joderi are nearly as vain as that unicorn we ran into earlier.”

“Well, they’ve certainly got good enough reason to be, they’re absolutely gorgeous.” 

“Yes, they are. Everyone wants to get a look at them, even the new aatia babies. Look.” Sure enough, two tiny green aatiae were crawling over and eying the turtles curiously, even as one of them tripped over their wings in their hurry to check them out. 

“Oh, that is just too damn cute,” giggled Nick. 

“Want to see something a little less cute? And no, that was actually not a come-on.” 

“You should know by now that you don’t need to come on to me, considering I’m your husband,” chuckled Nick. “But all right; what do you want to show me?” 

I grinned and hauled him up onto the waterfall, smiling as the water cascaded through his hair. “Look.” 

Nick wiped the water off his glasses and put them on – just in time to see what I was pointing out to him. “What the hell are those?!” he almost shouted.

“Those would be the Kroyan crabs I was talking about. They’re…well, take a look at them.”

“They’re huge!” exclaimed Nick. They were, as well; at least eight of them were scuttling in a single line, their massive claws clicking against the rock and their bright gold shells shining in the evening sunlight. 

“They’re from Kroya,” I said. “It’s a large region on Asiana’s sister planet, Draknor and it’s basically been a reserve for them for…shit, I don’t even know how long. Unfortunately, a lot of the environment’s been destroyed over the years, so several of the crabs have been brought here over the years. But it’s a risky journey and not all of them survived.”

“How many are left?” 

“I’m not sure,” I admitted. “There was a time when they flourished in their millions, though, to the point where their shells and claws were being used for everything and the kitchen sink – literally, in several cases, as it happens. I know at one point their parts were so popular that they would’ve gone extinct if they weren’t damn good at breeding. Seriously, it actually became something of a joke that they only had to look at each other to get pregnant.” 

Nick laughed. “I’m sure,” he said. “Er, John, not to be a downer, but…can we move? I’m getting a little cold.”

“Oh, sure,” I said, blushing a little. “Come on.” Taking his hand, I helped him out of the water and we went back into the forest. “We’re going on a bit of a hike now. It’s not all that far, but it is pretty steep. Are you up for it?” 

“John, how many more times do I have to say it?” asked Nick. “I’m Welsh. Of course I’m up for it. Where are we going?”  

“This way.” I took his hand and led him through the trees. “It’s very romantic here, especially when the sun’s setting. And when you get to the top,” I sighed, “well, you wouldn’t believe –”

“Don’t tell me now,” interrupted Nick. “Let me see when I get there.” 

Well, get to the top we eventually did, and believe me when I say that you’re so high that it almost feels as though you can touch the sun. I did, however, find myself stumbling and swaying a bit when we did get there, much to my intense embarrassment. Fortunately, Nick recognised the problem immediately.

“So, not even the future can completely deal with altitude sickness, huh?” he said sympathetically. 

“Nope,” I said ruefully. “It’s okay; I’ve just got a bit of a headache. I’ll be fine in a minute.” 

“Here.” Nick pulled out a bottle of water and helped me take a few sips from it. “Just breathe slowly.”

I didn’t ask when he’d thought to refill our water bottles, though I did feel a bit stupid for not thinking of it myself, especially considering where we were going. “God, I’m lucky I’m married to a doctor.” Obviously, I knew that, considering my relatively new inability to stay dead, the consequences wouldn’t exactly have been permanent, but they sure as hell weren’t comfortable either. 

“You are that,” said Nick, sitting me down and rubbing my shoulders gently. “Just breathe slowly and relax.” 

“I need,” I stopped and swallowed, trying to get the right plant name, “some…shell lillies.” 

“Some what?”

I blinked several times to try and clear my vision and pointed shakily to the slowly blooming flowers. “Those pale blue and silver flowers. Can you get me…three or four stalks?” 

“Sure.” Nick scrambled over and plucked a few out of the ground. “What do they do?” 

I took a stalk off him and plucked one of the flowers off it, breathing in the honeyed smell. Immediately, the spinning sensation started to settle and my chest loosened. I let out a gasp and slowly stood up. “Sorry about that.” 

Nick shook his head at me, his expression clearly saying ‘we’ll talk about this later’, but instead he just looked around. “Wow, this is amazing,” he said. “Is that music playing?”

I nodded. “Nick, this is Mount Lahiru – the Mountain of Song. It’s one of the most beautiful and mysterious places in this galaxy. There’s evidence of mass volcanic activity from a very long time ago and, according to the legend, the songs of the mountain are the voices of those who died in the eruptions.”  

“That’s so sad,” breathed Nick. 

“Not in a restless or angry spirit sense,” I amended hastily. “It’s more like they’re looking over the land and watching over those who live here now. It is said that, if trouble should ever come to the planet, then the song will stop and a shadow will fall over the mountain.” 

“So, the mountain is their guardian,” murmured Nick. He sighed and gazed out at the world beneath him. 

“Yeah.” I came over and wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him against my chest. “But she’s also said to bring luck to couples in love. It’s become a favourite spot for weddings, actually, because they say that every couple who comes here lives a long and happy life together.” Gently, I kissed Nick’s temple. “It’s a very romantic place, as you can see, but the respect held because of its spiritual history has meant that it’s not become a tourist trap.” 

“It is amazing.”

“Yes, it is.” With a smile, I pulled him closer, breathing in the evening air as I felt him relax against me and watched his hair blow gently in the wind. His hand slipped into mine as he leaned in and kissed me slowly. 

I shivered a little – God, the feelings that ran through me at that moment! I don’t think I’d felt anything like it before. Even when he pulled away and rested his head on my shoulder, my heart kept racing. Somehow, I knew, this was it. Whether it was the legendary blessing of the mountain or just my own feelings hitting me unexpectedly hard, I didn’t know. But it didn’t matter. This was it, I knew. This was my destiny – a life with the amazing man in my arms. 

And, as I rested my head against his and closed my eyes, I realised I was completely fine with that.  

***

_ Next Time: With the newlyweds back on 21 _ _ st _ _ century Earth again, it's Ianto's 30 _ _ th _ _ birthday and Jack decides he wants to surprise him with something fun – and what better than the local fair to remind him of his childhood? But this is Torchwood and, as always, it's not long before something goes wrong. _   
  



	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto's birthday has arrived.

_ 19 _ _ th _ _ August 2013... _

“Hey!” Jack was almost bouncing on the balls of his feet when John opened the door. “Are you ready?” 

“Yeah, we’ll be there in a bit.” John stepped aside to let his friend into the house. “And what’s making you so bouncy, anyway?” He frowned. “Wait, have you been at Ianto’s special brew again? You know you’re not supposed to have that too often; it makes you crazy.”  _ Well, crazier _ , he mentally added.

Jack chuckled, apparently completely untroubled by the jibe. “You are never going to believe this.”

“What, has Nagiro regained status as a planet?” asked John. “Because I think that would be the only thing you could say that would really surprise me.”

Jack roared with laughter. “That rock was lucky not to be demoted to space garbage!” His face turned reflective. “Wow. I hadn’t thought about that place in a long time.”

John chuckled. “Yeah, we did have some good times there, considering it was such a ridiculously nondescript place.”

“Yeah, if by good times you meant spending the night in a jail cell after you accused the street vendor of making his wallets out of human skin!” retorted Jack.

“Hey, you joined in with that brawl – and don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy it!” In truth, John had been certain that his accusation had been true, but he had never actually managed to prove it, despite swearing up and down that he’d seen human fingernails used on the zips.

“Yeah, I enjoyed the brawl. The aftermath of it was less pleasant,” said Jack wryly. 

John winced a little as he remembered that. “Surprising what such a tiny place can think of doing to punish you.” He shivered at the memory of the floating prisons and the sound of the waves crashing against the walls. Even with Jack there, it hadn’t been fun in any way, and it certainly wasn’t something he was keen to revisit any time soon.

He shook himself. “Anyway, what was it you wanted to tell me that you were so sure I wouldn’t believe?”

Jack looked at him sharply before he allowed the grin to spread back over his face. “So, I came out to the Plass this morning while Ianto was asleep, because Andie and Declan said they heard something strange.” He frowned. “You know, in hindsight, they might have been screwing with me a little.”

“Why do you say that?” asked John. “Not because of the fair that was set up there, surely?”

Jack stared at him. “How…how did you know –?”

“There’ve been flyers all over the city for days, Jack.” John waved a piece of paper towards his boss, shaking his head. “I know you’ve been rushing between Glasgow and London for the last few weeks, but surely you must have noticed when you came home last night?” He smirked. “Or were you just too desperate to get into Ianto’s bed?”  

Jack pouted at him. “Still, you can’t deny that it’s perfect timing, considering what day it is today.” He sighed. “He deserves one chance to be a kid again; he had to grow up so quickly.”

“And it’s nothing to do with you wanting to celebrate the fact that your boyfriend has turned thirty despite working for probably the most dangerous organisation on the planet?” 

“So what if it is?” asked Jack. “Seriously, married life has turned you cheekier than ever, apparently. Speaking of which, where’s Nick?”

“Conservatory. He’s feeding the pets,” said John. “Well, I say feeding; it’s more like he’s gazing at that dragon stained-glass window pattern you put in there while the aatiae are quite happily eating the fire and water themselves, and we’ve still not figured out what Adi likes to eat yet.” He chuckled and led Jack into the sun-drenched conservatory. “Sometimes I think he loves that window pane more than me,” he added, but without any real envy. 

Jack stopped and turned around. “Nah, he doesn’t.” He blinked, his blue eyes suddenly going wide with shock. “Wait, are you telling me that you named the Adipose  _ Adi _ ? Seriously?” 

“Nick started it,” chuckled John. “He just said it one day and it sort of stuck. The problem is that now the damn thing won’t answer to anything else.”

“Right, because calling it Cloud like you wanted to would have been so much better,” piped up Nick who was watering the plants and dodging a tall blue flower that seemed to be trying to wrap itself around his hair.

Jack raised an eyebrow. “Should I even ask where you came up with that name?” he asked John.

“Oneida,” said John succinctly.

“Right and I’m sure the owner of the biggest strip joint in the east sector of the Vegas Galaxies will be thrilled to know that she reminds you of a blob of fat,” said Jack sarcastically.

“Well, if I ever get the urge to return to the sixty-third century Vegas Galaxies, I’ll be sure to let her know,” retorted John. Nick disappeared into another room, muttering something about really not wanting to know. 

Jack smiled and clapped John on the shoulder. “This really does suit you, you know.”

“What does?” asked John.

“This. Marriage. Commitment.” Jack waved his hand around the conservatory. “It looks good on you.”

“Well, you’d certainly know.”

“True. Although,” Jack smirked a little, “you are still the wife.”

John groaned and pouted. “What? Why do I have to be the wife –  _ again _ ?”

“Oh, come on,” chuckled Nick who had come out with his coat a moment before and heard the last comment, “You know why. It’s because you’re such a  _ good  _ wife – as you’re so fond of telling me yourself.”

“Complete with the frilly white apron when he’s cooking?” asked Jack.

“Not yet. Although,” Nick paused and his eyebrows crinkled in thought. “Hmm. I may actually have to do some looking into that.” 

“Oh, no!” shouted John. “I don’t care if I’m the wife; you are not getting me in anything like that!”

“Oh, really?” Nick paused to think. “How about  _ just  _ the frilly white apron?”

“That sounds like it would be more fun for you than it would for me, in all honesty,” said John with a shrug. “But I do know that what starts off as just being fun for you will inevitably end up being fun for both of us.”

Nick smirked and stole a quick kiss. “Indeed it does.”

“Well,” John paused, “bring it on, I guess.”

Jack gave a loud false cough that sounded an awful lot like “ _ Wife! _ ” In response, John flipped him off and, without stopping to think, asked his friend if things were really that different when it came to him and Ianto.

“John!” hissed Nick.

“What?” asked John. “I was just –” but he stopped when he saw the expression on Jack’s face. He winced and quickly changed the subject a little. “Mind you, you do remember who it was who got turned into a woman, right?”

“True!” laughed Nick. “And that’s one thing we’re never planning on letting him forget, right?” 

Jack stared at them and blinked a few times. “Oh yeah, right!” he said quickly and switched his smile back on. “Now, shall we get going before Declan tries to shove Garrett in the dunk tank?”

“You’d actually object to that?” asked Nick.

“Of course not. But I do want to see it!”

~*~

_ Forty minutes later… _

“So, where’s the birthday boy, then?” asked John. “Don’t tell me he’s gone home.”

Declan shook his head and wrung out his soaking wet T-shirt. “Nah, no chance, not after I bet him twenty quid he couldn’t manage ten straight rounds on the waltzers without throwing up.”

Nick stared at him. “You didn’t.” When Declan nodded, he groaned. “Oh, man, that is really not going to be pretty. Ianto gets really grumpy when he loses bets.”

“You really think he’s going to lose?” asked John looking sceptical.”

“I’ve got twenty years worth of memories that pretty much prove it,” replied Nick. “Not all of them as a bystander either, I might add.” He turned to Declan. “How many times has he been round so far?”

“He just went for his sixth round, I think. Oh, but,” Declan chuckled, “you should’ve seen Em and Andie shepherding Dan and Rupesh into the Tunnel of Love!”

John blinked. “There’s one here?”

“Yeah. Apparently, Rupesh loves them for some reason, but he didn’t want to go on his own, so Andie frogmarched them over and Em handcuffed them together and sat them down, with Dan kicking and screaming!” 

“Probably literally, if I know Dan,” said Nick, laughing. “He hates those things; says they’re tacky and cheesy.”

“They are,” said John. “Fun, sure, but they’re so cheesy.”

“Yeah, but that’s the whole point of these funfairs. They’re so tacky, but we love them anyway.”

At that moment, Ianto came over, stumbling and looking rather pale. He looked as though he was about to say something, but before he could get out as much as a syllable, he clapped his hands to his mouth and rushed off towards the entrance of the tourist office.

“And a happy birthday to you too, Ianto,” said John, once he’d stopped laughing.

“Why didn’t he just go down the lift?” asked Matt who had just come over with Garrett. “It was closer to him, after all.”

“Because when you’ve just done six rounds on the waltzers, you don’t generally want to go down on a jerky lift,” answered John. 

“Oh, right.” Matt nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Although, why he decided to do it in the first place would be a better question,” remarked Garrett, though he was fixing Declan with a rather sharp look.

“What?” The blonde New Zealander shrugged. “Yeah, I made a bet with him. So what?”

“I thought you might have,” said Garrett, clearly trying to sound disapproving, but John did notice that his mouth was twitching a little. John smiled when he watched him; he was enjoying watching the young doctor start to lighten up after Jack had told him how guarded he’d been when he had first joined Torchwood.

“Hey, it was fun. Speaking of which,” and suddenly, Declan’s blue eyes sparkled mischievously, “there’s something else that needs doing.”

“And what would that be?” asked Nick, but when he caught sight of where his colleague was looking, he began to giggle. “Oh, yes…”

It took a moment for John to catch on, but when he did, he let out a shout and clapped his hands. “Just a minute!” He rushed to where Jack was climbing off the merry-go-round, grabbed his hand and dragged him over. “Okay, Dec. As you were.”

Declan nodded. “Right. Garrett, come here.”

“What?” Garrett looked around, his eyes widening. “Oh, no. No way!”

“Oh, yes!” shouted Declan and reached out, even as Garrett sidestepped him and started to run off.

John laughed. “A tenner says he manages to get him in the tank.”

“Done.” Nick nodded. “But it doesn’t count if he has to lift him onto it.” 

“Fine,” agreed John. He grinned at his husband and fingered the wedding bracelet around his wrist. “You want to seal the deal?”

“Always.” Grinning, Nick leaned in and kissed John. “Mmm, yes, consider it sealed.”

“Can I get in on that?” asked Matt.

“Oh, me too!” Jack piped up. 

“Aw, come on!” whined John. “Now, I’m betting against all three of you? That is  _ so  _ not fair!” He let out a huff. “Well, at any rate, I’m not kissing you two. Sorry, but I’m a one-man guy, now.” 

“All’s fair in love, war and betting on your co-workers, my friend,” said Jack, laughing. He leaned over and gave John a sloppy kiss on the cheek. “There you go. Consider the deal sealed.” 

Nick burst out laughing. “Jack,” he said, “please don’t ever change. I mean it.” 

John mocked glowered as he dodged Matt’s attempt to plant one on him, and wandered off to look around the rest of the fair. He was just considering having a go on the – somewhat misnamed – big wheel, when he spotted two familiar figures, one blonde and one brunette, walking towards him. He sauntered over, smirking when he saw that they both looked rather dishevelled.

“Hello, boys,” he said, looking them both up and down. “Seems like you two ended up rather enjoying the old Tunnel of Love.”

Dan shrugged. “It’s a lot less cheesy if you don’t have to look around you.”

John roared with laughter as Rupesh flushed bright red. “Very true, Dan. Very true.” 

“Well, if the girls were going to shove us into a dark and enclosed space, it made sense for us to make the most of it,” said Dan with a shrug. “Seriously, John, those two are dangerous.”

“So, I’ve been told.” Idly, John glanced around, just in time to see Ianto step off the invisible lift. He still looked a little green, but he was smiling sheepishly, which was an improvement.

Rupesh smiled sympathetically at him. “You all right, Ianto?”

Instead of answering, Ianto pulled something out of the pocket of his trousers. “Where’s Declan?” 

“He’s currently running around up there trying to get Garrett in the dunk tank,” said John. “And no, you cannot bet on that with me; I’m already up against three others, including my own husband!”

Ianto tilted his head a little, his eyebrows crinkling in thought. Slowly, a cheeky grin began to spread over his face and, before anyone could stop him, or do anything other than follow him, he had sprinted to the other end of the Plass and tickled Declan in the ribcage. 

“Hey!” Declan squeaked, but, in his shock, he let go of Garrett’s arm. 

But before the dark-haired doctor could run away, Ianto had caught him and lifted him over his shoulder (clearly, after so long dealing with Weevils, the somewhat elfin doctor was no problem) and dropped him rather unceremoniously into the seat of the dunk tank, before dusting off the sleeve of his shirt and walking away as if he had done nothing more unusual than turn off a tap. 

Jack, who had been watching, laughed out loud. “Ianto Jones, thirty years old, and yet after all this time, you still manage to surprise me.”

“I tend to have that effect on quite a few people, if you remember, Jack,” said Ianto with a shrug. “Also, let’s face it; we all wanted to see Garrett get on that thing.” He grinned. “Oh, and John? I think that means you won your bet.”

John grinned. “Hey, that’s right!” He rounded on Nick, Jack and Matt. “Come on, you three, pay up!”

“Hey, I thought it didn’t count if he had to be lifted into it,” said Matt.

“No, only if Declan was the one who lifted him into it.” Nick slipped a crumpled ten pound note into the pocket of John’s jacket, while glaring slightly at his cousin. “How did you even know about that part?”

Ianto sighed in mock exasperation. “Nicky, you’re forgetting I know you better than you know yourself. I knew you’d put some sort of loophole into that bet and that Declan was the only one of us crazy enough to try and get Garrett onto that thing –”

“Hey!” protested Declan. Then he shrugged. “Actually, yeah, you’re right.” 

“After that,” continued Ianto, ignoring his colleague, “it was a simple matter of putting together the evidence and making a deduction.”

“Yes, well done, Sherlock,” said Nick, catching a sponge ball and tossing it at Garrett, “but can you tell me why you felt the need for it?”

“Well, I couldn’t very well let you win your bet when I lost mine, could I?” chuckled Ianto. 

“’Course you couldn’t, Eye Candy,” said John, chuckling. “’Course you couldn’t.”

“Oh, you’re just saying that because you’re now thirty quid up,” retorted Nick. “But you’re buying the pizza tonight for the Rift watch.”

John rolled his eyes. “As if I would do anything less!” he said as, simultaneously with Matt, he launched another, larger, ball towards the dunk tank, managing to hit Garrett’s left hip hard enough to knock his slightly off-balance colleague straight into the water.

“Nice shot,” said Declan approvingly. “Even if I do wish I’d made it myself.”

“Experience is a wonderful thing,” said John. “But it’s even better when you combine it with wanting your sour-faced friend to have some fun.”

“Hey!” said Matt. “That’s my husband you’re talking about there!”

Jack strode over. “So, Ianto,” he said, clapping his partner on the shoulder, “any chance of convincing you to do that?”

Ianto visibly considered it. “Maybe,” he said. “If you and John do it first.”

“We could be down for that,” agreed Jack immediately. “Right, John?”

John started to answer, but he was distracted by a sudden blast of music which he quickly realised was coming from his phone. Ignoring the startled looks from his friends – presumably at his choice of ringtone – he pulled it out of his pocket and answered it. “Hart-Jones speaking.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” said the young-sounding woman on the other end. “I’m sorry; it was Captain Harkness I wanted.” She sighed. “My name’s Abby. I’m one of the new nurses at the Flat Holm Island facility.”

John frowned, a weird feeling making its presence known in the pit of his stomach. “Hold on,” he said. “Jack, Flat Holm.”

“Oh, thanks.” Jack took the phone and walked away from the crowd, who were now watching Garrett climb out of the dunk tank and wring out his clothes.

John watched the older man for a moment, wondering at the way his back had suddenly tensed, before he shrugged and turned back to the others. He raised an eyebrow when he saw the alarmed expression on his husband’s face. “What?”

Nick made quote marks in the air as he spoke. “I kissed a dog and I liked it?” he spluttered. “When did  _ that  _ become your ringtone?”

“Changed it last night just for the heck of it,” said John with a shrug.

“Huh,” said Nick. “Well, unless you want to be sleeping on the sofa for a while, you might want to change it again.”

“Hey, I’ve got two hands and next door’s got a dog,” replied John with a grin.

“That may well be true,” said Nick. “But I hear that Ianto has a brilliantly rusty knife in the Hub. Isn’t that true?”

“Very true, mate,” grinned Ianto. “In fact I think that knife’s been there since Torchwood Three was founded.”

“There,” said Nick. “And while I have a feeling it will grow back, I don’t think you really want to be taking that kind of risk, do you?”

_ Okay, point taken.  _ John grimaced. “I’ll be good.”

“Good answer.” Nick smiled and high-fived Ianto. “How did you even get that as a ringtone, anyway?”

“Gwen,” said Ianto. “When John first came to work here, she decided that he needed a bit of payback for traumatising her when he first met her.” He glanced at Matt and Declan who were both looking confused. “Long story. Anyway, for a week, she played that song when he walked into the Hub to try and annoy him.”

“Unfortunately,” piped up Andie, who had come over to join them, “John liked it and downloaded it to his music collection. He then proceeded to torture us by singing it for the next three days.”

“We were that close,” Ianto held his fingers a millimetre apart, “to chucking him back into the Rift.” 

“Well, let me say right now that I’m very glad you didn’t,” said Nick, once he’d finally stopped laughing.

Ianto nodded. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I am too. You’ve,” he bit his lip, swallowed and nodded. “Well, you’ve been really good for Nick – helped make him into the man he is today.”

John wanted to say something – whether it was pithy or cheeky, he wasn’t sure – in reply, but his attention was diverted by Jack coming over, his expression one of agitation. “Woah,” he said when he got close enough, “who died?”

Jack glared at him. “You and Ianto, come with me. We need to talk.”

~*~

“Okay, Jack,” said Ianto once the Hub door had rolled shut behind them, “what’s going on?”

“Yeah,” said John, “I’m guessing you didn’t call us in here for –”

“John, whatever you’re going to say, please keep it to yourself for now,” interrupted Jack. “This is serious.” He motioned them into the boardroom and sat down. “Alison Jones, Nick’s ex-wife, is dying.”

***

_ Next Time: A choice is reached…but who makes it and what will it be?  _

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to Flat Holm.

Ianto’s mouth dropped open, but he quickly recovered himself. “How long?” 

“She may only have a day or two,” answered Jack. “That’s what Abby wanted when she called just now.”

John growled and clenched his fists. “Why didn’t they contact you sooner?” 

“I have no idea.” Jack sighed. “But there’s more. Apparently, Alison asked something of us.”

“Oh, no.” John glared at Jack. “Don’t you dare tell me –”

“She wants to see Nick one last time.” Jack sank back into his chair. “Kind of a last request, I suppose.”

If he had anticipated a reaction, he certainly got one. John let out a roar and punched the wall so hard he left a small dent in it. 

“Shit!” he shouted and grabbed one of the chairs. But before he could do anything with it, Ianto’s arms came around him and pulled it out of his grasp.

“Stop it,” he said. “You’re not helping.”

“After everything…after all that’s happened,” John breathed out heavily, “after what she’s done to him – she wants to see him?!” He barked out a loud laugh. “This is just…unbelievable.”

“I know,” said Ianto, sounding equally angry, even though he was managing to keep his voice steady. “I know. But this isn’t helping anyone.” He ushered John into a chair and turned to Jack. “So, what happens now?”

“Well, that’s why I told you two first,” said Jack. “I wanted to know what you thought we should do.”

John breathed out and sank into his chair like a puppet whose strings had been cut. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered. “Goddesses, when I think of that woman…I just see Nick’s face when he saw that DNA test. And I hate her for doing that to him.” 

Jack leaned forward. “But?”

“Well,” said John, “even in spite of all that…I wonder if perhaps Nick should see her.”

“What?” Ianto stared at him. “But…but you just said –”

“I know, I know.” John sighed. “But do we really have the right to keep this from him? Because honestly? I don’t think so. We tried before, and we were wrong.”

“Yeah, but –”

“And,” interrupted John, “don’t you think he needs the closure so he can move on properly?”

“He has moved on,” insisted Ianto. “He’s married you, for God’s sake. Look,” he paused to gather his thoughts, “I get what you’re saying, but just take a moment and think. If he goes there and he sees Ali again, it could really be detrimental to him. Seeing her would probably only end up making him feel guilty for moving on while she’s still there. Is that what you want? Seriously?”

“Well…no,” stammered John. “But we can’t keep this from him. It wouldn’t be right and you both know that.”

Jack sighed. “Well, that cleared things up nicely,” he said. “So, what do we do?”

“How about actually speaking  _ to  _ me rather than  _ about  _ me?”

John whipped around and stared at his husband. “How long have you been there?”

“Long enough. You were just so busy arguing, you didn’t notice.”

Jack grimaced. “Okay, Nick,” he said, “what do you want to do?” 

“Well,” Nick took his own chair and looked at them all. “Ianto is right. What Ali and I shared was special. Of course it was. She was my wife and the mother of my…children. But, I have moved on now. It took time, I’ll grant you, but I have and I’m happy.”

He paused. “That being said…I do want to see her. I need answers. I want to know why she cheated on me with one of my friends. I want to know what was going through her head.”

Ianto stared at him. “Nicky, are you sure?”

“Absolutely one-hundred per cent certain,” said Nick. “I know I might not like the answers, but I need them. I need to know the truth.” 

“Okay,” said Jack, though John thought he looked as though he was agreeing against his better judgement. “When do you want to go?” 

“As soon as possible,” said Nick. He hesitated. “Look, I know how hard going there is, so I won’t ask you to come with me. If you want to, you can, but it has to be your choice.”

Jack snorted and pulled his greatcoat back on. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he said. “We wouldn’t let you do this without moral support.” 

“Definitely not,” agreed John. 

“Are…are you sure?”

“Don’t try and talk us out of it,” said Ianto. “We’re coming.”

~*~

_ Two hours later… _

“Well,” said Jack, “here we are. Now, Nick, for the last time –”

“I’m sure,” said Nick firmly. 

“Do you want us to come with you?” asked John.

“Whether he wants it or not, it doesn’t matter,” said Ianto. “I’m going with you, Nick – and don’t argue.” 

To John’s surprise, Nick laughed. “I had a feeling you might say that,” he admitted. “Come on then.” He gave John a quick kiss and then opened the door to the compound. “See you two in a bit.”

Once the door had been shut behind them, Jack ran one hand over his face. “I hope he’s doing the right thing.”

“He is,” said John. “Nick wouldn’t do something like this if he wasn’t certain it was the right thing to do. He’s too logical for that.” 

He sat down on a grass-covered mound and stared out across the water. “Amazing, isn’t it? That a place as beautiful and natural as this could still be so,” he paused, hunting for the right word, but it wouldn’t come, so he gestured around, trying to encompass everything. “You know.”

“Yeah.” Jack nodded and sat down beside him. He frowned and cleared his throat. “How are you, John?” 

John blinked. As far as non-sequiturs went, that was definitely a good one. “Er…yeah, I’m okay,” he said. “Look, if you’re worrying about what happened last week, don’t. I’m fine. Not even a scar.”

“Don’t blow me off, John.”

“Nah, been there, done that,” said John with a lazy shrug. “Many times, if I recall –”

“John!” snapped Jack. “That is not what I meant and you know it.” He linked his hands and spoke carefully. “Look, I know you’ve been getting help from Em and all that, but I want to know that you’re okay – both as your boss and as your friend.”

_ Oh.  _ John bit his lip. “I’m,” he realised he had been about to say ‘fine’ and stopped short. Something in the intensity of Jack’s gaze compelled him to change his mind and answer honestly.

“I’m…getting there,” he said eventually. “I mean, I still get the occasional nightmare, but they’re not as bad as they used to be.”

“How long was it for you?” asked Jack. “Before…you know.”

“Before Nick found me?” John shrugged. “I’m not really sure. After a while, the days and nights all started to blur together. I would guess at least three months, though.” He shivered and unconsciously rubbed his wrists, remembering the long days they had been bruised by rusting metal chains.

“Hey.” Jack touched his hand gently. “If you need anyone else to talk to, you can always come to me. You’re not alone in this. I promise.”

“How did you manage it?” blurted John.

“With a little help from my friends,” answered Jack simply. “Just being around them and knowing that they were really safe and really there helped more than you know.”

“Is that why you came back?”

Jack stared at him. “What do you mean?” 

“Before you left with the Doctor, your team betrayed you,” said John bluntly. “You can call it what you like, but that’s the fact of the matter.” He looked around and lowered his voice. “You were killed when the people who were supposed to trust you and care about you turned on you and then you had to sacrifice yourself to clean up the mess they left behind!”

Jack shrugged. “It’s not like the death part stuck.”

“Oh, don’t even go there,” snapped John. “Have you forgotten what Nick said to you after we came back, about how you’re more than just a human shield?” He shook his head. “Anyway, that’s not even the point. The point is that you had the chance to stay with the Doctor and travel with him, but you didn’t. You came back here, even after everything that happened. More than that – you stayed.”

Jack turned to him, surprised. “What does that matter?”

“It matters.” John looked straight into his friend’s eyes. “You could have come back for Ianto and then you could have both left. You could have been free with him. But you chose to stay. Why?” 

He was almost expecting Jack to be angry at his line of questioning. However, when he looked closer, the older immortal was looking thoughtful, as if he was considering his answer. 

“I had a lot of time to think during that year,” he said slowly. “And I realised something. I realised that I had spent over a hundred years here waiting for something that was never going to come. The Doctor I left with then wasn’t the one I belonged with. Yes, he invited me to go with him, but I didn’t fit there and we both knew it. My,” he stopped and swallowed, “my Doctor was long gone and he wasn’t coming back.”

“Okay,” said John, “so that’s why you came back. But why –”

“Besides, that travelling around wasn’t what I wanted any more. It wasn’t right. Instead, everything I wanted, everything that was right – it was right here. Whether I really belonged here, whether this was really my home – that didn’t matter anymore, because my  _ family  _ was here. I think I already knew that, but I just wasn’t ready to admit it. I wasn’t ready to give up on the Doctor. But during that year, they, more than anything, were what kept me fighting. And once I realised that, I knew I had to come back to them.”

“Wow,” breathed John, deeply moved by Jack’s words. In fact, he actually found himself blinking back tears and had to take several deep breaths before he could speak. “That…that I can understand. Now, at least. But before,” he shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Maybe not way back then,” said Jack. “But that person isn’t who you are any more. You’ve proved that over and over again.”

“Jack?” Ianto’s voice suddenly cut through their conversation. “Jack, we’re done here.”

John sat up straight. “Is Nick okay?”

Ianto sighed. “I think so. But…Ali’s gone.”

“Okay,” said Jack, getting up and hauling John to his feet as well. “We’ll be right there.” 

The two men were quiet as they walked down the dark corridor, but John was sure his heart was beating so loudly, anyone could have heard it. Still, he couldn’t quite hold back a gasp when he looked through the door and saw Nick kneeling on the floor with his head bowed as he held his wife’s body in his arms. He wanted to go to him, but his feet felt as though they had been rooted to the spot and wouldn’t allow him to move, not even to leave. Of course, even if he could have left, he knew that he wouldn’t have. He had to be there for Nick, just as he had promised he always would be.

“John?” Jack had come over and was looking at him. “Let me.” He crossed the small room and bent down beside Nick to whisper in his ear.

John let out a breath and beckoned Ianto over. “Did he ask her?”

“Yeah.” Ianto nodded. “But I don’t know what the answer was. She whispered it in his ear. And honestly? I’m not sure I want to know what it was anyway.” He ground his teeth. “Having said that, I think you were right. It was better for him to know the truth.”

John nodded. “There are some things you do just need to know, for your own peace of mind as much as anything else.”

“Exactly,” said Ianto. “And you and I both know that, if he hadn’t come here to find out, he would have tortured himself and probably driven himself mad with wondering.” 

“Yeah,” said John. “What, er, what will he do now? I mean, now that she’s gone?”

Ianto looked around and his mouth twitched. “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

“Huh?” John looked around, startled, and almost laughed when he realised Nick and Jack were standing behind him, and had been for a few minutes at least. “Oh.”

Jack chuckled. “You really need to pay a bit more attention to your surroundings, John.”

“Hey, I pay attention!” retorted John. “Most of the time.”

Nick shook his head, even though he was smiling a little. “Nope, this time, Jack’s got it about right,” he said. “But to answer your question, I was just saying to him that I’d like to bury Ali here on the island. It’s a beautiful spot and it’s peaceful, too.”

John looked up at Jack, who nodded. “Okay,” he said. “Then that is exactly what we’ll do.” He reached into his pocket. “Do you want us to call –”

“No,” said Nick. “The others didn’t really know her and her family thought she died nearly four years ago. There’s no point dragging them back through it all again.” 

Jack nodded. “Okay then. Just us."

~*~

Jack bent down and smoothed the soil over the new grave before he placed a small blue flower  on top of the mound. “Well. I guess that’s that.” He turned to Ianto. “I’m sorry. I doubt this was the way you wanted to spend your thirtieth birthday.”

“To be fair, I’ve had far worse,” replied Ianto with a shrug. “Besides, I bet the others are enjoying themselves back at the fair, so it’s not that great a loss. Also,” he paused and lowered his voice, “it’s not over yet, is it? We’ve still got plenty of the day left.”

John was half-listening to his two friends bantering with each other, but he was finding that their conversation sounded more like background noise on a radio than actual words. Even when he did try to focus more on what they were talking about, his attention would still be drawn straight back to the lonely young man gazing out across the water. He let out a gusty sigh and rubbed his hands over his face. 

Jack finally noticed him and rubbed his arm. “Go on. Go to him.”

“You think I should?” asked John, though that was, of course, exactly what he wanted to do.

“Why not?” asked Jack. “He’s your husband after all.”

“Yeah, but don’t you think he needs a –”

“John,” interrupted Ianto, “go over there and just talk to him. I can feel your agitation from over here.”

“Besides,” added Jack, “the worst that can happen is that he just tells you he wants to be alone for a while.”

That, at least, was true. “Okay,” John agreed. Taking a deep breath, he walked over, trying to ignore the butterflies in his stomach. “Hey.”

Nick started and turned around. “Oh, hi,” he said. “Sorry, I was miles away.” He stretched out one hand, revealing a simple gold ring. “I’ve kept it since she disappeared, but now I don’t really know what to do with it. I mean, she was a big part of my life, but,” he shrugged. “I don’t know.”

John forced down the unexpected surge of jealousy that had risen inside him when he had realised what the ring was. Nick was right, after all; Alison had been, for better or for worse, a big part of his life and, as much as John might secretly wish it, Nick couldn’t just forget that.

He slipped his hand in his pocket and grinned when he found what he was looking for. “Here,” he said, slipping the ring onto a thin silver chain and fastening it around Nick’s neck. “There we go.” 

Nick snorted. “I feel as if I should be getting ready to go to Mount Doom around about now,” he said ruefully.

More to diffuse the tension than because the comment had been particularly funny, John barked out a laugh. “I had a feeling, somehow, that you were going there.”

“Probably because you know me so well,” said Nick with a roll of his eyes.

“Clearly.” John shuffled over so he was sat down beside his husband. “You okay?” 

For a moment, Nick said nothing, his brow deeply furrowed in thought. He breathed out and, as he did so, his face cleared and broke out into a smile.

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I am okay.”

John let out a loud breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding. He smiled, his heart lighter than it had been in a very long time. 

“So, what now?” asked Nick, finally looking up.

“Same thing we do every day,” said John shrugging. “Eat pizza, save the world and try to get an early night.”

***

_ Next Time: Nick’s birthday arrives…what will this one bring? _

  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick's birthday dawns - starting with some very excited children!

_ 3 _ _ rd _ _ September 2013… _

When the doorbell rang, it was still barely light outside and John had to restrain some extremely elaborate – and equally nasty – curses when he looked at the clock on the bedside table and saw that it was only ten minutes past six.

“This had better be a damn good emergency,” he grumbled to himself as he stumbled out of bed and into a pair of loose trousers and a thin T-shirt. If he was completely honest, he would just as soon have not gotten dressed at all and simply stayed in his boxer shorts and thin vest – it was certainly hot enough to not bother – but he could only think of one person who would appreciate seeing him in that particular state and, not only did he have his own key, but he was also still upstairs and fast asleep. 

“Yeah, all right, I’m coming!” he snapped, cursing inwardly as he tripped over something. It wasn’t until he kicked them away in the process of flipping on the light that he realised it was one of those rather terrifying big-eyed toy rabbits that had belonged to Estelle when she was a baby. He blinked in surprise, but didn’t pause to try and remember how it had ended up there, instead deciding he should answer the door.

As soon as he did so, he was almost knocked over as something wrapped itself around his legs with a happy-sounding squeal. He grabbed onto a small table to steady himself and looked up at his sister-in-law who was holding her niece with one hand and her daughter with the other while looking extremely apologetic.

“Believe me, this was not my idea,” she said. “If you want to blame someone, you can lay it firmly at the feet of my nephew.”

Trevyn, who still clinging onto John’s legs, turned and fixed his aunt with a glare that was scarily reminiscent of his father. “But Auntie Catrin, it’s Daddy’s birthday!”

“Yes, it is.” Catrin laughed. “And it will still be Daddy’s birthday in a few hours.”

John blinked. “What,” he said slowly, “the ever-loving fu –  _ flip  _ is going on?” He was getting an increasing feeling that all sense and rationale was slowly dropping out of the universe (and that, considering some of the things he had seen and done, was saying something).

Catrin sighed. “Trev got it into his head that he had to make sure Nick’s birthday was completely perfect. His reasoning was that he’s already missed three and this is his last one before he turns thirty.” She laughed, “Apparently, turning thirty automatically makes you old and no fun.”

“Huh,” said John. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that says about you and me. Although, I am still struggling to understand why he decided he had to be here so early, as much as I do agree with him about my husband’s birthday being perfect.”

“Oh, he wanted to come two hours ago,” said Catrin, laughing. “The problem was, the girls weren’t awake then. But as soon as they were, well, they were rushing around and screaming so much that…well, you can see for yourself.”  

“Ah.” Apparently, even in his excitement, Trevyn had known better than to try waking up his cousin and his sister – half-sister, John remembered painfully – before they were ready. “Well, now, there’s no harm done, I suppose. So, what’s on the agenda for Daddy, little man?”

“Umm…” The small boy bit his lip as though deep in thought. He was also looking around a lot, his auburn curls bouncing around his face. Suddenly, he gave them a huge grin and bounded off up the stairs, giggling the whole time.

John watched him go and raised his eyebrows. “Did you give him a sugar overdose or something?”

Catrin shrugged. “I have no idea. He’s been full of beans for days. I imagine he’s overexcited to see his dad and stepdad though.” She eyed John suspiciously. “What have you two been doing to them, eh?”

“Nothing your brother said we weren’t allowed to do,” answered John innocently.

“That makes sense. He really does pamper those kids, bless him. Though I wish he’d stop sending them back to me hyped up on sugar.”

John snorted. “Cat, have you ever succeeded in saying no to Trev when he gives you those big puppy eyes?” 

“Of course not. Like I said, why do you think we turned up this early?”

Right on cue, a childish giggle echoed from halfway down the stairs accompanied by sleepy mumbling. Chuckling and shaking his head, John went to investigate and saw his giggling stepson almost pulling his grumbling and blear-eyed husband down the stairs. Nick himself was looking around and blinking slowly, as if he was wondering what on earth was going on. When he saw John, however, he immediately straightened up.

“Please,” he said, “please,  _ please  _ don’t tell me Jack’s called. After yesterday, I don’t think I could manage half a braincell, never mind half a brain.”

John snorted. “Clearly, since it seems decidedly unlikely that Jack would send your son to collect you for that. No, your family wanted to celebrate your birthday with you.”

Nick stared at him for several seconds and then squinted at his watch. “At…half past six in the morning?” He eyed his son warily. “Why the hurry?”

Trevyn stopped and glared at him. “My teachers are saying we need to make the most of life before it’s too late.”

“And that…means I can’t sleep in, I suppose?”

“Yep!” The glare turned into a gap-toothed grin. “And you’re getting old!”

“Charming,” muttered Nick, though he ruffled the boy’s hair before giving his sister a kiss on the cheek. “I take it he orchestrated this little circus, then?” 

“Well, it certainly wasn’t mine.” Catrin came over to give her brother a hug. “Happy birthday to you, Nicky. Only a year to go before the big three-zero.”

“Oh, don’t!” groaned Nick. “Between you and my son, you’re starting to make me feel ancient!” He swivelled round as John opened his mouth to splutter indignantly. “Don’t you try pouting, because I just know you felt the same then, you drama queen.”

“Well…maybe I did, yes,” admitted John. “But – drama queen? Really?”

“You are a total drama queen,” agreed Catrin, laughing. “I heard about how you nearly had a coronary when Nicky got his ear pierced because you thought Ianto would freak out.”

“Hey! Eye Candy is really scary!” protested John. “And is also in possession of a rusty teaspoon that, by his own admission, he has a lot of creative uses for, none of which I want to experience, thanks very much.”

“I need coffee before any more conversation,” muttered Nick as he staggered into the kitchen. “Does anyone else want anything?”

***

Half an hour later, they were all sat around the table sipping coffee, and John had made up some pastries which were filling the kitchen with the most wonderfully fragrant aroma of cinnamon and raisins. The girls had also apparently come round by now and were drawing on scraps of paper Nick had found in a drawer.

“So.” Catrin eyed her brother over the rim of her coffee mug. “What have you got planned for today, then?”

“Absolutely flip all,” said Nick succinctly. “There’s not usually much point in making plans when you work almost twenty-four seven.” He smiled wryly. “But, hey, I get to work with my husband and some of my best friends. I can’t complain about that.”

Privately, John disagreed – there was plenty to complain about when it came to working for Torchwood – but he decided not to admit that. “And, let’s face it, there’s no way Eye Candy is going to forget your birthday. He’s probably got your presents for the next ten years safely wrapped up, not to mention ideas for what to do in a Filofax.”

Nick stared at him. “How anal do you honestly think Ianto is?” 

“Very, and I also know he loves it. But, speaking of,” John added quickly before Catrin could say anything, “do you want your presents now or when we get to work?” 

Catrin raised her hand. “Before you answer that,” she said to her brother, “are these aforementioned presents suitable for all audiences?”

John gasped and clasped his hand to his chest theatrically. “Sweet Catrin, do you really doubt me?”

“I certainly do,” interjected Nick. “So, I think we can wait a little while for those. However, I assume your baking is child appropriate.”

“Oh!” John jumped to his feet and ran to the oven. Fortunately, he managed to rescue the pastries before they burned and, even better, they had kept their shapes in the oven. “Here we go,” he said, arranging them decoratively on a large plate. “Oh, and,” he grinned and placed a small dragon-shaped cake in front of Nick. “Happy birthday, my little Dragon Star,” he said, leaning in to kiss his husband.

“Rawr!” yelled Trevyn, making everyone laugh. “Am I a dragon too?”

“You’re the fiercest little dragon ever,” replied John, handing the little boy a pastry. “And your cousin and your sister are beautiful little fire-lizards. How does that sound?” The answering chorus of approval nearly deafened him. “All right then – shall we let the birthday boy make his birthday wish?” 

“No!” shouted Michelle suddenly. “Silly Uncle John – we’ve got to sing to him first!”

Nick groaned. “Far be it for me to contradict my niece, but…do we have to have the singing? My brain still feels as if it’s trying to find a way to slide out of my ears.”

At that point, Estelle looked up and made a face. “Ewww, Daddy!” she cried. “That’s gross!” 

John laughed and ruffled her hair. “It certainly is gross.”  _ Though not unheard of with some species I could name,  _ he mused as he handed Nick the knife so he could cut the cake. “I was planning on doing this later,” he admitted. “But there’s no rule that I can think of that says you can’t have birthday cake for breakfast. Just don’t tell Ianto.”

Catrin snorted. “Please. When that one was little, he would clamour for pancakes with chocolate and strawberries every weekend. He only grew out of that – and cake on his birthday – when he moved to London and met Lisa.”

“That’s true,” chuckled Nick. “And those cakes got more and more ridiculous every year. I swear, the only reason he’s as trim as he is now is…well, partly work, let’s be honest, but also because he hardly ever stopped playing sport. Tennis, rugby, cricket, even football. Whatever he could get his hands – or feet – onto, he would play it.”

“Your family never ceases to surprise me,” remarked John. “And, let me tell you, that’s quite an achievement.” 

“It’s all part of our charm,” replied Nick, shuffling over and planting a rather chocolate-y kiss on his cheek. “And I know you wouldn’t have it any other way.”

John smiled, but said nothing, choosing instead to wink at his husband. Nick blushed and smiled back, both of them ignoring Catrin’s stifled giggle from across the table. 

***

Eventually, the unexpected party did wind down and the guests departed (though not without a lot of hugs and kisses from the children) and John ambled over to watch his husband feeding their pets. He had a small flame burning in the palm of his hand and the four small golden aatiae were flying over to him, their wings flapping in the flames as they squeaked and chirped enthusiastically. Nearby, their blue brother and sister were playing in the large water bath by the window and apparently enjoying themselves very much if the sounds of laughter – could aatiae actually laugh? John idly wondered – were anything to go by.

“They still seem very small,” remarked Nick, though he kept his focus on controlling the flame. “Shouldn’t they have grown a bit bigger than this in six months?”

“I don’t think so.” John came over to have a closer look. “Aatiae, as a rule, grow fairly slowly anyway, and it’s worth remembering that the mother had a very sudden and traumatic labour, so I wouldn’t have been surprised if they were born prematurely.” He stroked the wings of one of the babies and she giggled and flapped against his hand. “As long as they’re well-fed and happy – which I can tell that they are – I don’t think there’s anything to worry about just yet.”

“Fair enough.” Gently, Nick lowered the babies back into their little home and used the fire in his hand to light a few small candles. The babies murmured in pleasure and gathered around the light, chirping happily at each other.

“Well,” laughed John. “I think we’ve been told that our presence here is no longer required, so…” he glanced at his watch. “I suppose we should head off to work.”  He gave Nick what he was fairly sure was a cheeky grin, but, for all he knew, actually just made him look slightly demented. “Come on, follow me. Oh – and when I say so, close your eyes.”

“Why?” asked Nick suspiciously.

“Because it’s your birthday and you’re meant to have a few surprise presents of course.” John raised an eyebrow at him. “There’s no need to look so apprehensive, I’m not going to –”

“Almost flood the conservatory? Get yourself arrested for smuggling in illegal, or at any rate, foreign, plants?”

John winced. “Trust you to remember that one.”

“It’s pretty easy to remember coming into the station with our boss just in time to see you trying to bribe your way out of trouble by offering the duty sergeant some of your ‘very special’ trail mix, John.”

“Hey, it could have been worse, you know. I could have offered him a blow-job instead.” He laughed, but backed away when Nick glared at him. “I’m joking, I wouldn’t really have offered – certainly not without you there, anyway.”

Nick folded his arms and visibly tried to hold his glare, but his lips were twitching too much. “You really are a pig, John,” he giggled. 

“Wrong again. I’m  _ your  _ pig. Anyway,” he grabbed Nick’s hand, “come on – and, seriously, make sure you close your eyes!” He heard Nick mutter something very uncomplimentary under his breath, but he still did as he was told. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you, just keep hold of my hand.”

“John, unless you’ve decided to teleport us off to trek the Himalayas, I think I can manage,” retorted Nick – who, needless to say, then proceeded to completely undermine his point by tripping on the stairs leading into the garage. “Do not. Say. Anything,” he growled.

“I wasn’t going to,” answered John innocently. “Though, for what it’s worth, if we  _ were  _ going across the Himalayas, we would  _ not  _ be doing it with our eyes closed.” That, admittedly, was only half-true; he would absolutely have tried doing exactly that on his own, but definitely not if Nick had been with him. That would have just been stupid, if for no other reason than Ianto would have killed him, probably repeatedly and very painfully.

He flipped on the light in the garage. “Okay, birthday boy,” he said. “Open your eyes.”

Nick chuckled as he did – but then his mouth dropped open. “That’s…that’s an Aston Martin!” he spluttered. “John, you didn’t!”

“I most certainly absolutely did,” answered John, laughing. “Well, with some help from Jack, of course. I saw you looking at it and well, here we are.” He reached into his pocket and presented his stunned husband with the car key. “Go on, get in and get it started up.”

His face alight with joy and astonishment, Nick bounced off and into the driver’s seat. “Oh, wow, this is amazing! Seriously, you’ve got to get in here!” He stuck his head out and waved him over. “See?”

“Well, of course,” said John, rolling his eyes as he settled himself into the passenger seat. “Only the very best for my man.” In fact, he had even paid hugely extra to make sure it really  _ was  _ the best. Still, he was extremely pleased with the end result (luckily for the car manufacturers, who would certainly not have wanted an angry Time Agent – or two – after them). “Oh,” he said, as if he had only just remembered, “go and look in the glove compartment before we go.”

Nick raised his eyebrows again, but did as he was told. He blinked in evident surprise as he removed the small fluffy object waiting for him inside and waved it at John. “Um…”  

“One of those tutorial things came up on Facebook or Twitter or something. I was bored and thought it looked fun and I happened to have all the bits and pieces for it, so…yeah, I know you love your dragons, but I also know how much you love your puns.” He bopped Nick’s nose gently with the little stuffed sheep. “So…meet your I Love Ewe.”

“He – or should I say she – is very sweet,” agreed Nick, placing it in John’s lap. “And you are secretly a crazy romantic, and…I love you too.”

***

_ “Happy birthday to you! _

_ Happy birthday to you! _

_ Happy birthday dear Nicky! _

_ Happy birthday to you!” _

Jack was leading the enthusiastic chorus as they entered the Hub and almost immediately dragged them into the conference room which had been decorated out as if for a party, and where there was a small pile of presents on the table. “You didn’t really think we’d forget your special day, did you?”

“Of course he didn’t,” snorted Ianto. “He at least knows me far better than that.”

Andie laughed wryly. “That’s true. There’s more chance of South Africa winning the cricket World Cup than there is of your cousin forgetting an important date.”

“Oh, don’t worry, they will win it soon enough, that much I can confirm for you,” said John. “Trust me, I was there for it. It was…quite a night.”

“Will any of us actually be alive to see it?” asked Matt, ducking to avoid a slap from the blonde girl, even as he was laughing.

“I can confirm that Jack certainly will be,” replied John. “But if you lot are careful, you never know.”

Jack clapped his hands. “Anyway, enough about cricket. It’s a silly game and we have –” but he was cut off by the blare of the Rift alarm. “Dammit,” he muttered, rushing down to check the computer. “Hold that thought.”

Ianto nudged Nick playfully. “From celebrating your birthday to rampant aliens in less than two minutes.”

“Welcome to Torchwood,” agreed Nick.

***

“So,” said Garrett, leaning casually against the wall of the autopsy bay. “How old exactly are you today, Nick?”

“Oh, come on, you know that I’m –” he stopped and frowned. “Oh. Right. Missing years. Well,” his brow furrowed a little as he counted on his fingers. “I suppose I’m actually twenty-six, though I should be twenty-nine.” He shrugged. “But I’ll tell you one thing. I feel a damn sight older after running around chasing that thing everywhere.” He sat down heavily, taking off his glasses, and rubbed his forehead. “What even was it?”

“No idea.” Frowning, John glided down the steps and rested a hand on Nick’s arm. “Are you all right?”

“Think so,” muttered Nick. “Head’s just swimming a bit.” He blinked rapidly, as if he was trying to clear his vision. “Woah, that’s weird.”

“What is?” asked Garrett.

“You know how you see spots in front of your eyes sometimes?” Both men nodded. “It’s a bit like that, only…not quite. More like…clouds, I think, with the spots inside them. Like I’m looking at a nebula. And my head hurts as well.” 

“Hmm.” Garrett touched his forehead. “Well, you do feel a little warm and clammy, so you might just have a bit of a fever. I would suggest that you rest for a little while and definitely keep your fluid intake up, but, as yet, I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.” 

“I’m not worried,” grumbled Nick. “Seriously, it’s probably nothing except being tired.”

“Probably,” agreed John. “But I agree with Garrett. Take a minute – or several – and lie down. You’re no good to anyone if you keel over.”

“All right fine.” It was only too clear that Nick was not thrilled with the idea. “But only for a little while, and you’d better call me if you need me, got it?”

“Got it,” said John, though he obviously had no intention of doing any such thing. “Come on then.”

***

_ Next Time: A nasty alien gives Nick a chance to shine, but when something unexpected results from it, John and the team are given some devastating news. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With apologies to any South African cricket fans reading this. I'm sure you'll win a World Cup one day! (At least I hope so, because, despite being half-Indian and half-English, I really like your team!)


	18. Chapter18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Halloween, but that doesn't mean a day off in the Hub. Instead, it's a day on the water for some of our friends, but the day finishes with a devastating shock.

_ 31 _ _ st _ _ October 2013… _

It shouldn’t have surprised John, really. After all the stories he had heard about his in-laws, especially in the last month alone, he should have known that they were capable of doing pretty much anything. Still, when he entered the Hub on Hallowe’en, he was taken aback to see Ianto, apparently in fancy dress – though he wasn’t quite sure who as – calmly walking out of the hothouse armed with two large pumpkins, which he dropped onto the conference room table. He did not even blink when he looked up and saw John staring at him. “What?”

“You’re,” John hesitated, “dressed up.” He heard Nick groan in exasperated amusement from behind him.

Ianto’s eyebrows went up. “Well done,” he deadpanned, “you’re the first person to notice that.”

“Am I also the first person to ask who, exactly, you’re supposed to be?” retorted John. “You look good covered in glitter, by the way.”

“Thanks. And, yes, you are the first person to ask that. Which I owe you for, by the way, because you’ve just won me a bet.” He smirked. “Jack bet that you would be able to recognise anyone I dressed up as. Proving him wrong was a large part of the reason I even agreed to dress up as Edward ‘Glitterbug’ Cullen.”

“Oh,  _ that’s  _ who you’re playing. No, you’re right, I wouldn’t have recognised you, because my husband and I actually have taste.” 

“Says the guy who looks like someone from Buffy,” shot back Ianto. “Though Jack did suggest Dracula, but everyone would have gotten that one.”

“Not if you’d just gone for Vlad the Impaler instead,” interjected Matt, amusement in his voice.

John snorted. “Ah, yes, Vlad. What a character he was. And I have to say, he certainly deserved that title, even though he wasn’t the only one who was doing a bit of impaling.”

“I bet he wasn’t,” muttered Ianto. “And I bet you absolutely loved him.”

“Loved?” John snorted. “Hardly. He was certainly interesting, but I was terrified of the crazy bastard!” He thought for a moment. “Okay, maybe not terrified, but he definitely was not someone I fancied taking my chances with.”

“I have a feeling most of your ex-lovers were,” muttered Matt. “I’m not sure I’ve ever met anyone with a back catalogue as long or as dangerous as yours, John.”

“Dangerous, but very useful, Matthew,” replied John with an unapologetic shrug. “I definitely didn’t learn all my moves at the Time Agency.” He paused and added, deliberately theatrical. “Oh, and for what it’s worth, my back catalogue may be the most dangerous, but I can guarantee that Jack’s is definitely longer.”

As luck would have it, Jack himself had appeared just in time to hear the last few words. “Why thank you very much, John,” he said. “Good to know that you’ve finally admitted defeat.”

“It’s not the size that matters there, it’s knowing what to do with it,” retorted John. “Besides, I wasn’t talking about that. I was talking about your history being long and colourful.” He winked playfully.

“What can I say? I’ve got…oh, I’d say at least a few centuries on you,” replied Jack. “But don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll have plenty of time to catch up in the distant future.”

“Oh, fuck off,” said John good-naturedly. “Oh, before I forget, you lost your bet with Eye Candy.” Smirking, he sat at his desk, ignoring Jack’s array of curses in response.  He wasn’t really surprised; Jack always hated it when he lost a bet, usually because he had ended up having to pay some rather interesting – and frequently downright crude – forfeits. Admittedly, there was a time when John would have sincerely doubted that Ianto could be capable of coming up with anything like what Jack had been used to, but those days were long gone. Behind the gentle and innocent face lay a man with an imagination more suited to one of the more interesting clubs in the Vegas Galaxies – something that evidently seemed to run in the family.

“Worth remembering the advice you were once given, Hart,” he muttered to himself. “Never underestimate a Jones.” 

“I think the phrase you want is never underestimate a Welshman, actually,” piped up Matt, who was spinning around on a nearby chair. “And definitely don’t piss them off, either.”

“Oh?” John minimised the screen he had been studying. “Trouble in paradise already?”

“Hey, we’ve still been married for longer than you two have. And no, no trouble. You just really don’t want someone who knows several different ways to cause pain without killing you pissed at you.”

“Fair point,” agreed John, “though admittedly, not such a huge issue for me right now. So, go on, what’s crawled up his arse and died?”

“Nothing,” came a grumpy-sounding voice from beside them. “And that’s the problem.” Garrett was scowling at his spluttering other half. “A week or so? Fine, I get it; it was a bad injury –” 

“Bad?!” interrupted Matt. “Garry, you could have died!”

“True.” For a moment, Garrett’s face softened. “And, yes, I get that you want me safe. Goodness knows I want me safe too and I want you safe. But, the fact is, look where we are. And – Matty, we’ve been in the army before this. I admit, I’m not exactly enchanted by the idea that I could well be pushing up the daisies before I turn thirty-five, but we both knew that – hey!” He cut himself off and glared. “That’s not even the point. The point is that I’ve been cleared for over three weeks now and you’ve barely even touched me, even though I’ve been point blank throwing myself at you here!”

“How blatantly?” asked John with interest.

“Let’s just say I took lessons from you,” snapped Garrett. “Seriously, Matty, what’s going on? Because I’m starting to go seriously crazy here.” He folded his arms and tapped his foot, one eyebrow raised.

Matt sighed. “All right, fine, but  _ please  _ don’t get too upset. It’s…well, I keep looking at you and remembering what happened.” He waved helplessly at his husband’s chest where they all knew he had been left with violent scarring from an alien encounter gone horribly, almost fatally, wrong. 

In the awkward silence that followed this pronouncement, John returned his focus firmly to his work. But nothing could block out the next words from his annoyed teammate.

“Let me just make sure I’ve got this absolutely right,” said Garrett, very slowly and with a voice as dead and cold as the grave. “You’re now telling me that you can’t stand to have sex with me because it’s too hard for you to see my  _ hideous  _ scarring?” 

John poked Matt’s elbow. “Just so you know, there is a correct answer to that question.” 

“Shut it, Hart.” Matt rubbed his face. “No, Garry. That’s not what I’m saying at all. I just meant that –” but he was cut off when an alarm started blaring. 

“Hold that thought.” John leapt for the computer and scanned the area. His eyes widened when he realised what the monitors had picked up, and where. “Oh…bloody hell,” he grunted and raced down to the medical bay.

“Nick!” he almost barked. “Come on, this is going to need both of us.” He raised his eyebrows, hoping that his husband would get the point.

Fortunately, Nick was far from a fool and, though his face turned a little pale as he stared at his hands, he nodded and vaulted up the stairs two at a time. “All right, what are we looking at here?”

“Tulari,” said John grimly. “Nasty critters that are more likely to kill you than they are to look at you. And right in the middle of the Bay.”

“Right, gotcha.” Nick pulled his hair back and scrambled into his coat. “Okay, let’s do this.”

“Not so fast.” Garrett was grabbing his gun. “I’m coming with you. You’re going to need someone else to keep a watch out and I’m feeling almost homicidally frustrated right now and I’d rather not cause an unnecessary bloodbath here.”

“Hyperbolic, but fair enough,” said John with a shrug. He rolled his eyes at Matt’s gasp of alarm. “Oh, relax, Irish, we’ll look after him. He’s probably more likely to die of blue balls than he is out there with us.”

“He’d better be,” growled Matt. “If anything happens to him, I will find a way to kill you and make it stick.”

John snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that.” He grabbed Nick’s hand with one hand and tossed Garrett his coat with the other. “Come on you two. Oh, and for the love of whichever gods you might believe in, if I tell you to get out of the way, you do it straight away.” That comment was directed largely at Garrett, who huffed but apparently decided not to argue. “Oh, and try not to throw up on the boat, Ianto won’t thank us for it and we don’t need the extra distraction.”

~*~

The  _ Thunder Child _ – as Nick had apparently insisted on re-naming the  _ Sea Queen _ ’s replacement – crashed across the water, sending gusts of spray up the sides and almost hitting the deck. John was steering her, probably too fast to be legal, but he didn’t care. He knew that if anyone gave them any hassle then he could simply flash the Torchwood card and point out that they should probably be allowed to get on with their jobs so that people wouldn’t die. It was blunt, but so far it had worked every time. Speaking of which – 

“There!” he shouted, hauling the boat to a screeching halt and almost knocking the other two flying. “I can just see them in the water – those little flashes of white.”

Garrett, who still looked slightly green, stumbled over and squinted ahead of him. “What, them? They don’t look like very much.”

“Neither do you,” retorted Nick, who, much to John’s relief, was a little more steady on his feet. “But we all know better than to mess with you. If John says these things are deadly, then I’d say it would be in our best interests to listen to him, especially since he’s got several years of experience that we, quite honestly, don’t.”

“Thank you,” said John. “Look, Nick’s right. These things might be tiny, but they are lethal. I’ve seen them wipe out civilisations in a matter of days without even breaking a sweat – figuratively speaking, at least, since I’m not actually sure they do sweat. Point is, they can sneak up on you without you even realising it, because, really, who is going to care about that tiny little bit of light just hiding out of the corner of your eye?”

Garrett scowled a little, but appeared to grudgingly concede the point. “All right, so what’s the plan? If those fuckers are half as dangerous as you say they are, I don’t much fancy jumping into the water to fight them.”

“Oh, don’t worry, you’re not going to have to go to them,” said John grimly. “Those massive waves the boat created attracted their attention, so they’ll be more than happy to come to us.”

“That sounds an awful lot like this is a trap and we’ve been set up as the bait,” remarked Nick with a cautious frown.

“Well…” John grimaced and looked away, “I wouldn’t quite have put it like that, but…well, yeah, that’s actually exactly what it is.”

“Oh, you have got to be kidding me!” exploded Garrett. “And what, exactly, is there to stop  _ them  _ from deciding to kill  _ us  _ first?”

“For me, having an unexpected donation of Jack’s blood,” answered John. “For you two, the fact that you’ve got me here and I actually know how to kill these things.”

He waved his hand and produced a small cluster of flames. “Lucky you’ve got me and Nick, really. Tulari are, as strange as this might sound, almost akin to petrol – that is, they’re extremely flammable. Basically, you throw fire at them, you can kill them quite easily. And that, Garry, is where you come in.”

“Me?” 

“Yep.” John clicked his fingers. “Normally, I wouldn’t have been too thrilled about bringing you along with your murderous intentions, since we wouldn’t need the distraction, but – oh, hang on.” He spun around and threw the flames out into the sky and, in one fluid motion, pulled out his gun and shot at it before turning back to the others. “And that, right there, is how you kill them. So, Nick and I will launch the flames and then you can transfer all that sexual frustration and desperation to kill something into shooting the living daylights out of them. Got it? Good. Now, get over here and let’s get on with it, there really isn’t more than a second to spare.”

Lowering his voice as the black-haired man made ready his own weapons, John turned round to face his husband. “Look, I know that this is a lot for me to ask of you, especially knowing how you feel about…well, what we can do. I wouldn’t normally ask, but –”

“No, it’s fine,” interrupted Nick. “Yes, this thing does still scare the shit out of me, but if what we’re facing are as nasty as you say they are, I’m in.” He looked down at his hands as his fingers slowly began to glow. “I have to learn to come to terms with this…gift, don’t I? No matter how violent it is, it’s also a part of me now, whether I like it or not. Besides, if I can use it for good, then surely that’s what I should do, right?”

John breathed out in relief. “I’m so glad you said that,” he admitted, kissing him quickly. “And you’re right, this is probably going to need both of us.”

“If you two have finished being all mushy, can we please get on with it before Cardiff gets wiped out?” shouted Garrett.

“Best idea you’ve had all morning!” agreed John. He gripped Nick’s hand and kissed it. “Come on, then. Let’s do this.”

~*~

_ An hour or so  later… _

John wiped his hand across his forehead and breathed out. He could remember now why he had always hated fighting the Tulari, and it wasn’t became they were so deadly. Coming from the Time Agency, he was more than used to aliens – and, for that matter, humans and inanimate objects – trying to find creative ways to kill him. But the real reason he hated fighting them so much was simply because using up so much fire was extremely uncomfortable. While his power could not physically harm him, as its conjurer, it could certainly make things uncomfortably hot and distracting, which was the last thing John wanted when he was trying to keep his wits about him. 

Apparently, Nick was feeling the same way. His hair was sticking to his brightly flushed face and he was panting and gasping for air as he stumbled over to John.

“One more left,” he panted, blinking sweat out of his eyes. “But it’s a stubborn little bugger. Seems less focused on trying to kill me and more desperate to try and stay alive.”

“Yeah, that happens when you get down to the last of a swarm like this,” agreed John. “They don’t want to all die out at once, so the very last one keeps ducking and dodging out of the way to try and tire out their enemies. Crude, I grant you, but I can’t deny it’s effective.”

“Ah.” Nick nodded. “So, it’s all about the survival of the fittest then. Well,” his eyes hardened and he clenched his fists together, “let’s just see how they like it when you and I go out there and hit them with everything that we’ve got, shall we?”

John raised an eyebrow and glanced down at the flames starting to spill out of Nick’s tightly clenched fists. “Wow, I’d forgotten how hot you are when you’re fierce and angry like this,” he remarked. “All right, let’s do this. Garry!” he shouted, “are you ready for one last blast?”

“Oh, you had better believe I’m ready!” Unlike the other two, Garrett was showing absolutely no signs of tiredness or other ill effects from their activities. If anything, he looked as though he had gained energy as opposed to losing it. Admittedly, he hadn’t been rushing around starting fires, but it was clear that he was following John’s advice to the letter and channelling all his frustrating into doing his job.

“Something tells me that a certain Irishman is not going to know what’s hit him later,” John muttered to Nick who snorted. “All right boys!” he shouted then, conjuring up an enormous ball of flame in his hands, “you all know what to do.”

“I’ll say. Hey, cotton-puff! Yeah, I mean you!” Nick’s face broke into a wild looking grin as he held up a fireball of his own. “Take your invasion and shove it up…wherever your species traditionally crams things!” he shouted and, at the same time, he unleashed the ball of fire, hitting the alien right where it was assumed the middle of its face would be.  

John had done the same, though not without pausing to laugh at his husband’s dramatic antics. But as the flames hit the alien, something strange happened right before their eyes. The two fireballs seemed to merge with each other and hit the remaining Tulari with such a force that it flew backwards with an ear-piercing shriek towards the – thankfully rapidly clearing – path to the tourist office. Dimly, John heard someone, probably Garrett, swear and then registered the boat being almost ploughed in the same direction. Fortunately, the flames soon died down, which meant that the group were at least able to see where they were going. Shaking his head, John stepped back and sat down with a thud. “Woah.”

“Tell me about it.” Nick was staring at him with wide eyes. “What in the nine levels of hell was that? And did we manage to kill that thing?”

“I think so,” answered John slowly. “I can’t imagine that anything could have survived that blast. I just hope we didn’t blow up the tourist office though, Ianto would kill us.”

“Nope, we’re safe there.” Garrett steered the boat into an empty space. “It’s still standing, but I think we might have burned up half the path instead.”

”Huh.” John stepped off the boat and inspected the ground. It certainly did appear that Garrett was right; the marks did look like burn marks. However, upon looking closer, John noticed that there were little specks of white, rapidly fading to dark blue, dotted around. He kicked them with the toe of his boot. “Well, we certainly did get them.” He turned and grinned at the other two. “Nice job, guys. Now, I don’t know about you, but I could really do with a drink.”

“I agree.” Garrett nodded. “Come on, Nicky, we’re – Nicky?” He frowned suddenly. “Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re limping.”

“I’m fine,” answered Nick. “Really. I think I just overdid it a bit, that’s all.” He blinked and adjusted his glasses, but then his knees suddenly buckled.

“Woah!” John rushed over and caught him before he hit the ground. “Take it easy there, Sparky, there’s no need to go rushing off anywhere.”

“I’m not planning on rushing at all,” snapped Nick. “Honestly, I’m fine, my arm’s just a bit sore, that’s all.”

If he had hoped that this would convince the others of his health, he was sadly mistaken. Garrett looked worriedly at John. “I thought you said that fire wasn’t meant to harm him,” he growled, almost accusingly.

“It isn’t,” said John. “Mine could, obviously, and so could another fire starter’s, but he’s safe from any damage his own might cause.”

“Oh, really? Then,” Garrett rolled up Nick’s sleeve, “how can you explain this?”

“I…” John went pale as he took in the state of his husband’s arm. It looked as though Nick had left his skin to soak in boiling water. Already, it was peeling, revealing the raw redness underneath.

“What the hell happened here?” he asked, carefully touching the skin and cringing when Nick whimpered. “Oh, god, shit, I’m sorry, love, I’ll stop…”

*”No…” gasped Nick, who was gripping at his head. “I don’t…god, what’s that noise? Who’s crying out there? Who’s screaming…oh my god…oh my god, what’s happening? It hurts!”

“We need to get back to the Hub.” John jumped to his feet and gathered Nick up in his arms. “Quickly!”

“But…shouldn’t we take him straight to the –”

“If you say ‘hospital’, you won’t have to be worried about blue balls anymore, because I’m going to be shooting them off!” growled John. He looked down at the shivering man in his arms, trying to listen to what he was murmuring. “Hang in there,” he whispered as they dashed through the tourist office and burst into the Hub. “Jack! Ianto! We need help here!”

The door to Jack’s office flew open and the two men rushed down the stairs, both jerking to a halt as they took in the scene in front of them.

“Get him downstairs right now!” barked Jack. “And someone tell me what the hell happened!”

Whilst Garrett explained the situation, John and Ianto helped to get Nick into the medical bay so that Declan could examine him. The New Zealander had gaped in shock at the sight of his colleague sweating and mumbling, but he had thankfully gotten straight to work without asking any unnecessary questions. Now, John was pacing up and down and running his fingers through his hair.

“I can’t believe this,” he said. “He was fine just a couple of hours ago and now look at him! He’s half conscious and his arm –” he broke off abruptly and looked away.

“Hey.” Ianto grabbed his arm and turned him back around. “You had no way of knowing that any of this was going to happen. You said yourself that you’ve not seen this happen before.”

“Exactly. I have never seen _anything_ like this before, which makes it even worse,” said John. “He was so scared of what this thing can do, but I kept on trying to convince him that he just had to get used to it! Now look at him! His arm looks like it’s been in an oven and…and he’s…” he stopped, swallowed hard, and then swore and punched the wall.

“Did that make you feel any better?” asked Ianto, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up. I got him into this, I forced him into using this fucking power that he doesn’t understand – that  _ I  _ don’t even fully understand – and look where it’s got him! None of us even know how or why he even got it in the first place, but isn’t this telling us that he was never even meant to have it?”

*“It certainly might,” conceded Ianto. “But – and this is something you aren’t going to hear very often from me, so I’d make the most of it – I think you were right. Now that he does have this gift –”

“Gift?!” spluttered John. “How on this good earth can you possibly call it a  _ gift _ ? It’s more like a curse – just look at what it’s done to him!”

“Now that he does have it,” repeated Ianto, “he definitely needed to get used to using it. If what I heard Garrett telling Jack is true, then it was the only thing that stopped all of you from getting killed.”

John stared at his cousin-in-law, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. “I…but…just look at him!” he burst out, ignoring the frantic gesture from Declan to keep his voice down. “Yes, we got that thing, but it’s left the man I love – who’s also your cousin, no less – severely injured and being poked about like a damn lab rat! How can you, of all people, be all right with that?”

“Don’t think for one moment that I am anything close to being all right with any of this,” growled Ianto, showing anger for the first time. “I’m scared to death too and I certainly did not want this to happen, least of all to him. But you and I both know that, given the opportunity to do something that would save the lives of millions of people, Nick would do it without hesitation, even if it meant risking his life.”

“Doesn’t mean we wouldn’t try to talk him out of it, though,” groused John, now glaring at the wall.

“Of course it doesn’t. But ultimately it would have been his decision to help – just ask, when push came to shove, it was his decision to use that fire. I bet you tried to tell him he didn’t have to,” he added, his mouth twitching a little.

“Of course I did. I know he’s not as okay with it as he would have us believe. But he insisted.” 

“And he was right to,” added Jack, who had apparently been listening from the top of the stairs. “He’s only going to get more used to it with practice – just like you did, remember, John?” He smiled wryly as John grunted, but didn’t argue. “However, I can promise you one thing. Once he’s recovered from this, we can do some more tests on him to see if we can figure out exactly how and why he ended up becoming an Elemental.” 

Just as the words left Jack’s lips, Declan came over. “Okay, well I’ve taken some scans and run some tests on him and…” he paused, “well, I think it would be better if you come over and have a look.”

“Okay,” said John, trying not to let it show that his stomach was twisting and writhing as though his insides had turned into snakes. He sat down beside Nick and took his hand. 

“Hey, you,” he whispered, smiling in spite of himself as his husband blinked up at him. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired,” answered Nick. “And my arm hurts like bloody fuck. What exactly happened out there?”

“I have no idea,” admitted John. “But I’m hoping that our cute little blonde here will tell us.” He forced his smile towards the other doctor, but it faltered when he saw the sheets of paper in his hands. “Wow, what did you do, print out his entire life history?” 

“Not exactly,” said Declan quietly. “I…wanted to show you these results, because I…well, I think your opinion on them would be useful.” He spoke casually, but there was no mistaking the worry in his eyes.

Apparently, Nick had noticed that too, because he started to sit up. “Okay, what kind of a mess have I managed to get myself into this time? Wait,” his brow furrowed, “it’s not my arm, is it? I’m not going to have to get it amputated, am I?”

“What?” Declan looked rather startled. “Oh, no. No, it’s nothing like that. Your arm is actually the easiest thing to fix. No, um…” he bit his lip, his usually cheerful manner nowhere to be found. He seemed lost and confused, as though he didn’t know where to start.

“Declan?” Despite his hand resting on John’s shoulder, Jack was on his feet, ready to support the younger man. “What is it?”

“I…okay.” Declan ran his fingers through his already messy hair, sighed and took a long breath. “Well, I ran several scans on your body,” he said to Nick in measured tones. “They all came back clear – except for the ones on your brain. Nick,” his hand tightened on the pages as if he wanted to rip them in half and his voice broke a little, “the scans showed a…a mass on your brain. I ran some tests on it already and…I’m afraid that it’s definitely malignant.”

Ianto gasped and sank back against the wall. Jack’s hand tightened on John’s shoulder. Nick, however, simply looked confused.

“Mal…malignant?” he repeated. “You mean…” he stopped, shook his head and almost whispered the words, “I…I have cancer?”

Declan nodded. “I’m afraid so. It looks as though the tumour has actually been there for some time before now, but we never picked up any problems before, because it seemed to just be dormant, or, at the very least, benign. My guess is that, somehow, what happened today triggered something in you and, for the lack of a better term, brought it to life, while infecting it.” He looked down at the scans and flipped through them. “Unfortunately, because of where in your brain the tumour is located, I don’t believe that it would be wise, or even possible, to operate and remove it. The risk of severe and permanent damage to your brain is far too high.”

Nick frowned. “Why do I get the feeling that there’s another shoe waiting to drop somewhere?” 

“Because you’re a doctor and you’ve worn that same look on your face that I’m wearing right now far too often?” Declan smiled, but there was no joy in it. “Yeah, there’s more – a lot more. Except that this is something that I’m not sure I understand myself. So, well,” he looked up at John and Jack, “could you two help out? Only, well, I’m a doctor, not a former Time Agent.”

At any other time, John might have laughed at such a comment, but not this time. Instead, without even a hint at a smile, he jumped up and almost snatched the papers out of Declan’s hand. He heard Ianto utter an annoyed gasp at his lack of manners – apparently, even now, the man valued good etiquette – but ignored it. His heart pounded and lurched as he looked through the scans, over and over again, each time hoping they would show something different, but of course they never did. 

“Jack,” he finally whispered, “please tell me…this can’t be what I think it is.”

Jack shook his head. “I wish I could, but we both know I can’t.” He straightened up. “It’s Rift sickness, caused if you’ve had prolonged exposure to the Rift. What it’s doing is essentially sending sparks, not unlike an electric shock, into your brain. There’s a bit of it in all of us, because of where we work, but John, Nick and I have it stronger because we’ve travelled through the Rift. But because Nick’s not as used to it as we are, the impulses being sent through his brain are too strong and, as a result, they’re burning holes in his brain.” He flipped through the scans and cursed softly. “It explains what you were saying earlier about hearing odd noises and those flashes of colour you’ve been seeing. Nicky, the Rift is basically eating away at your brain and exposing you to it.”

“Okay,” said Nick, rubbing his face. “That certainly doesn’t sound like something I want to keep around. So…how do we stop it? Or, at least, slow it down?” 

Jack turned to look at John, who shook his head. “Don’t,” he whispered, hurrying back to gather Nick into his arms. “Please, don’t…I can’t…”

“Can’t what?” asked Nick, looking alarmed. “Wait, you mean…it can’t be fixed? There’s no cure?”

“I’m afraid not,” said Jack. “Even if we could get rid of it for now, it would only come back and keep spreading faster and faster. In fact,” he looked back at the scans, his forehead creasing even more, “yeah, I thought so. Nick, there is already something keeping it it bay, but…it’s also killing you at the same time.”

“The tumour?” exclaimed Ianto, speaking up for the first time. “But…how does that work?”

“It’s fairly common sometimes,” said John, his voice hollow. He could hardly believe that they were even having this conversation, or what he was going to have to say next. “But it’s equally possible for it to work the other way – for the Rift sickness to act as a dampener on cancer. Looking at these results, I can only imagine that’s what’s happening here and why the cancer doesn’t appear to have spread too much.”

It took a few moments for everyone to digest this. “So, basically,” said Declan, rubbing his face, “what you’re saying here is that he’s got two effectively terminal illnesses fighting to take over his brain, but they’re both somehow managing to cancel each other out?”

Jack nodded. “Unfortunately, yes. And we can’t treat either of them because then the other one will take over, and I don’t know of any way we can treat them both at the same time without killing him.” He shook his head. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” said Nick quietly. He looked around and huffed out a tired laugh. “Wow. I know I work for an organisation that deals with aliens on a daily basis, but…I did not see this coming.”

***

_ Next Time: Well, that was a shocker, wasn’t it?! And Nick might not have thought this was possible, but he’s certainly not planning on letting it get him down, however much his loved ones might want to wrap him in cotton wool! _


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite the recent shock news, Nick is determined to enjoy himself. And where better to do so than a wedding?

_ 15 _ _ th _ _ November 2013… _

 John groaned for what felt like the hundredth time in the last ten minutes. “Nick, please be reasonable. You’re not well and you and I both know that rushing around at a wedding is not going to do you any favours whatsoever.”

 “Oh, really?” Nick folded his arms and glared at him. “Because, to be quite frank with you, I don’t feel ill at all. Look, I am under no illusions about what’s happening to me –”

“Oh, good, because from where I was standing, it honestly looked as though you were going into some serious denial there.”

 Nick scoffed and threw his hands up into the air. “I’m in denial? You’re the one who keeps looking at me as if I’m going to drop dead at any second!” He paused and took a deep breath. “Listen. I know I’m ill. I know it’s dangerous. Trust me, I know. I’m a doctor, of course I understand these things. And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little scared. But that does not change the fact that, today, I feel absolutely fine. Sure, that might well have changed by tomorrow and I could end up not wanting to get out of bed, but, to be honest, I doubt it. The point is, if you keep me stuck here wrapped in cotton wool, I will end up going mad. Besides, let’s face it, it’s a wedding connected with Torchwood. Something is pretty much guaranteed to happen.”

“Oh yeah? And how did you figure that one out?”

“Because it’s just the way that our lives work. Our wedding got invaded by UNIT, for goodness sake. Gwen got pregnant with an alien baby and had to deal with a shapeshifter on hers. It’s not exactly an encouraging track record, is it?”

“That’s why Jack, Ianto and I will be there.” John was not going to back down over this. “And before you play the card about what if we need medical help, Rupesh is going to be there and, last time I checked, he is a more than capable doctor.” 

“Of course he is, but –” 

“And I am not going to let you put yourself at risk unnecessarily. You heard what Jack said – if you try and use your fire power again, it could easily kill you right there and then.”

“Who said anything about using the fire?” asked Nick belligerently. “That’s not even the point. Besides, I think you’re forgetting that I’m more than just that. I am more than capable with a gun and I have not forgotten how to fight. Maybe I won’t be as strong as I once was, but any help is better than none, as you’re so keen on saying. Also, Rupesh is in the wedding party and he’s not going to have time to rush around dealing with aliens if his cousin’s as much of a groomzilla as he seems to be. And finally,” he held up his hand, effectively forestalling the protest John was about to make. “I need to do this for myself.”

“What do you mean?” asked John, his thoughts briefly derailed by the unexpected turn to the conversation.

“I mean…” Nick sighed. “John, I survived Canary Wharf, even though I had no idea what was happening. I’ve survived my wife being snatched up by the Rift, aliens trying to kill me in a variety of different ways every day of the week, crazy Time Agents, talking ships – shit, I’ve somehow survived throwing myself right into the fucking Rift. After all that, do you really think I’m going to let something like  _ cancer  _ beat me?”

“It’s not just the cancer though, is it?” pleaded John. “It’s the Rift sickness as well.”

“I’m not planning on letting that beat me, either,” retorted Nick. “Sure, it might get me one day, but every day it doesn’t, every day that I can get out there and do things that make me happy, that I can get on with my life – that’s another day that I can look it in the face and tell it that it hasn’t won – that, as hard as it’s tried, it’s failed. I’m still here.” His gaze turned a little pleading. “Please don’t take that away from me. Not while I can still fight back.” 

 John stumbled and sat down in the nearest chair, pressing his hands over his face. He had always known that he was more scared by what was happening than his husband was, but hearing him speak now, he could see just how fearless Nick really was, how much he didn’t want to die with a list of regrets – and, more importantly, that he was right.

_ We’ve all wanted to stick the biggest middle finger up at the Rift for all it has put us through,  _ he reflected.  _ And who am I to deny the man I love any chance he might have to do that while he’s still healthy enough to do it? _

“I’m being a mother hen again, aren’t I?” he said sheepishly. “Okay. You’re right. And I’d love to have you as my date for this wedding. But I want you to promise me that you’ll only go if you feel up to it tomorrow morning – and no playing the fake it until you make it game. Also, if anything does go wrong – touch wood – then under no circumstances are you to use the fire and you are also definitely not allowed to overtax yourself. Got it?”

 Nick nodded. “Absolutely, though I should point out that I wasn’t planning to use it anyway, it would have attracted a bit too much attention, don’t you think?” He laughed and kissed John sweetly. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“What – now?” John was startled. “It’s barely even half past nine!”

“Trust me, you are going to need those extra few hours of sleep,” insisted Nick. “Indian weddings start early and they really don’t stop.”

~*~

_8:00am, the next morning..._  

John grumbled vaguely to himself as he battled with his clothes. “You weren’t kidding about it being early,” he growled. “But is this really necessary? The thing doesn’t even start until,” he checked the invitation, “half past ten? Nick, really?!”

“Actually, it starts at half past eleven,” answered Nick. “They just put the time an hour early on the invitations so that they could allow for Indian Standard Time, as Rupesh calls it. Basically, it’s so that everyone gets there on time.” He brushed his hair and tied it back. “I’m honestly surprised you’ve never been to an Indian wedding, actually, you’ve certainly been around enough.”

“Let’s just say that I decided not to take the opportunity when it was offered.” _And by ‘decided not to take’, I really mean ‘told that lying little snot to take his invitation and stuff it up his arse’,_ he carefully did not add, though judging by his husband’s little smile, he had not been as successful at hiding his feelings as he had thought.  

Fortunately, though, Nick didn’t press the matter. “Well, you certainly missed quite an experience,” he said. “But I’m very glad you’re not missing it this time, because I would not want to pass up the chance to see you dressed up like this.” He straightened the collar on John’s tunic. “You look fabulous.”

“I feel a bit like a Christmas tree,” retorted John, though he couldn’t hold back a grin of pride. “Is all this flashy stuff really necessary?”

“Oh, coming from someone whose favourite outfit is that jacket?” Nick shook his head. “And wait until you see the groom.  _ He’s  _ going to be the one who looks like a Christmas tree, trust me. And not one of those nice silver and gold ones either, not if Rupesh’s hysterical laughing over the phone the other day was anything to go by.” 

“Next thing, you’re going to tell me he’s going to be riding up the road on a massive elephant surrounded by a harem of beautiful men and women,” said John with a snort. He raised his eyebrows when Nick laughed. “What?”

“Oh, you’ll see.” Nick’s eyes twinkled madly. “Oh yes. You’ll see…”

~*~ 

_ 8:30am, near Cardiff Bay… _

 John looked up and blinked. He blinked again. He blinked, turned away, counted to ten and turned back again, by which point he realised that the scene in front of him was not going to change. “I wasn’t actually being serious when I asked about the elephant and the harem, you know,” he remarked. 

 A snort of laughter from behind him made him spin around. Rupesh was watching the scene with a shake of his head. “Believe me, they would have definitely gone for an elephant if they could have gotten away with it, but a horse was the next best option,” he said. “You look good, by the way,” he added, looking John up and down.

“Thanks.” John winked at him. “You…don’t look too bad yourself,” he stammered, feeling himself blush at the white lie.

“I look like I belong in a gay pride parade,” scoffed Rupesh. “No, actually, even that doesn’t cover it. I’ve marched in Pride before and even there I’d look ridiculous dressed like this.”

“Could be worse.” John shrugged. “At least you don’t look like you could be mistaken for the headline act on a drag show.” He snorted and rolled his eyes. “Sorry, that was rude.” 

“Not really. I told Shreyas the exact same thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love my cousin, but sometimes I have to wonder exactly where his head is at. He always scoffed at these big weddings for years, but then the minute he and Sara got engaged, bang! It was like a switch completely flipped in him. Personally, I can only guess that he was desperate to impress his in-laws and prove to them that we actually do know how to host a ‘proper wedding’, whatever the hell that is.”

“Ah, the things we do for love,” sighed John, gazing over to where Nick was talking to Ianto. “Goodness knows I’ve had plenty of experience as far as that goes. Speaking of which,” he spun on his heel and eyed the younger man. “What’s going on with –”

“Hang on – oh, lord, my mother’s started crying and creating a fuss again!” Rupesh swore and rushed off. “I’ll see you later at the temple!”

Jack came over and bumped into John playfully. “So,” he said, “a bit of a circus today, isn’t it?”

“That’s one way of putting it, yes. Another way might be complete and utter chaos – and not organised chaos, either.” 

“So, just like our everyday job then.” Jack smiled wryly. “I see you couldn’t convince your husband to stay at home and get some rest, then. Do you think he’s going to be okay today?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” sighed John. “I’m actually trying really hard not to think about it too much right now, though.” 

“Fair enough.” Jack pulled his coat closer to him. “That actually sounds like a good idea – just take a day off from worrying and let yourselves have some fun. You deserve it. Both of you.”

“Trust me, I intend to.” _And then I’m going to take him home, make him tea and wrap him up in cotton wool for the next fortnight, the Rift be damned,_ was what John carefully did not add. “I see no one talked you into wearing traditional clothes, then.” 

“Ianto did try,” admitted Jack. “But we went to have a look and see what there was and, well, it turns out that there are some styles even I, a model of perfection though I may be, can’t make work. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man or a woman so desperate to get me undressed – and that, believe me, is definitely saying something.”

“Right, well, let’s get going then, shall we?” suggested John. “We don’t want to be the last ones to get there.” He could see the surprised look on Jack’s face, but he really did not want to get into a conversation about his friend’s sex life – not when they both knew only too well that there was every chance that it was only a matter of time before his own started to take a serious hit. Not, of course, that sex was the only important thing in his marriage, but he could not deny that it certainly was a large factor.

~*~

_ Later that evening… _

 It also turned out that Nick had not been joking when he had said that Indian weddings started early and did not stop for breath. Firstly, there had been the nearly two hour long ceremony at the temple, which, for all it looked beautiful, had a lot of people starting to get restless and even start walking around. Fortunately, thanks to his trips on board the TARDIS, John was able to perfectly understand what the priest was saying, and anything that he wasn’t familiar with had been explained in the handy leaflet that the happy couple had thoughtfully provided for their guests. Even better was that the young priest also seemed to have a sense of humour, and was more than happy to provide a few amusing anecdotes about the couple, as well as handing out flowers and bits of fruit to various children who had come up for a closer look.

 Now, however, everyone had moved to the reception at a beautiful hotel, where they had enjoyed a fabulous dinner accompanied by a troop of Indian singers and dancers, armed with drums and guitars, and even one very impressive sitar player. John had enjoyed this very much, though he was thankful for Nick’s advice to bring earplugs, because it did also get uncomfortably loud after a while. Unfortunately, Jack and Ianto had been forced to leave unexpectedly due to some trouble from the Rift – no change there, really, John supposed – but they had assured both John and Nick that they would be perfectly fine on their own and, if they were required, they would certainly be called. However, John strongly suspected that Ianto, at least, had no intention of doing any such thing, or at least no intention of asking his cousin to help out. 

Admittedly, John wasn’t sure how much he could really fault the Welshman for that, since his urge to do exactly the same thing was always there, even though he was determined not to act on it unless he absolutely had to.

Even so, he could not deny that there was definitely something to be said for being exactly where they were, especially when they were enjoying such wonderful views over the Bay. There was also enough food and drink to feed an army – which was lucky, actually, considering how many people had turned up for this wedding – and they were also now getting the opportunity to watch the guests attempt karaoke, some more successfully than others, it had to be said. Much to his relief, though, Nick seemed quite happy to just sit quietly and listen – as much as John loved him, he did not want him to end up clearing out the entire room with the power of his voice. Fortunately, Nick himself seemed to agree.

“As much as I like a good sing-along, these people came to celebrate a wedding, not to find out what a cat sounds like when it’s being dealt with,” he said. “Though, you know, I used to be a choirboy when I was a lot younger. Apparently, I didn’t sound quite so atrocious back then.”

“One word for you – puberty,” piped up Dan. “Happened to some of my friends when I was younger. Their voices changed and suddenly they couldn’t carry a tune to save their lives.”

“It worked the other way for Ianto, though,” mused Nick. “He’s got a really great voice now.”   

“Oi.” John, who had kept his eye on the stage, leaned over and poked Dan in the ribs. “Put your brains back in. Your boyfriend’s getting up to sing now.” 

“He’s not my boyfriend,” grumbled Dan, but no one could miss that he sat up a little straighter and his focus zeroed in on the dark-haired man stood on the stage. 

 

_ “I hear him _

_ Before I go to sleep _

_ And focus on the day that's been. _

_ I realize he's there _

_ When I turn the light off _

_ And turn over.” _

 

John raised his eyebrows. “Well. I’m guessing that when you three went out in Manchester, he was always the one who ended up getting shoved on the stage to sing. He’s really good.”

 “Oh, you have no idea.” Nick chuckled and sipped his drink. “He’s the only one out of the three of us who could actually hold a tune, honestly, and every time we’d walk into the union for karaoke night…wow, he’d get completely swamped by people as soon as he walked in.”

John burst out laughing. “Oh, I bet you guys loved that!”

“Well, we did. Him, not so much.” Dan turned to them, smiling ruefully. “It took us telling him that it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and at least he can hold a note for more than two seconds before his voice cracks.”

“Or hold a note at all,” agreed Nick, acknowledging the little taunt for what it was with a grin. “But, yeah, he was really shy and awkward about it at first. He didn’t want all that attention – I think his exact words were ‘I’m a doctor, not a pop star,’ actually.”

“Trekkie,” laughed John.

“Funnily enough, no, he wasn’t a fan. But I think it was just the obvious retort. Funny thing was, though, when he did actually get into the swing of it and get his confidence up, this song sort of became one of his signature songs.” Nick’s brow creased. “None of us could ever figure out why though…”

 

_ “Nobody knows about my man. _

_ They think he's lost on some horizon. _

_ And suddenly I find myself listening _

_ To a man I've never known before. _

_ Telling me about the sea _

_ Oh his love is to eternity. _

 

_ Ooh he's here again _

_ The man with the child in his eyes _

_ Ooh he's here again _

_ The man with the child in his eyes.” _

 

John frowned as he watched the young man on the stage. He was certainly looking happy and confident, though his eyes never once left their table. Occasionally, his breath seemed to catch in his throat and the words faltered briefly, but he quickly switched his smile straight back on before anyone except for John noticed.

But, since he had noticed it, he could not resist grinning and leaning over to whisper to the other two, “I think we both know where his attention really is right now, and it’s certainly not on the happy couple over there.” He gave Dan a wink, but the other man stiffened and downed his drink, clearly trying to hide the growing blush on his cheeks.

 

_ “He's very understanding and he's so _

_ Aware of all my situations _

_ When I stay up late _

_ He's always with me _

_ What I feel when I hesitate.” _

 

“Be nice now,” hissed Nick, nudging his husband on the knee. “Don’t tease him.”

 “Why not?” asked John, unable to keep from pouting. “Are you honestly telling me that you weren’t thinking it as well?”

“Well, no, of course I was. But it doesn’t mean that I’d necessarily say it.” 

John snorted. “That’s because you’ve got an unnecessary amount of scruples.” He smirked and leaned over to pat Dan on the shoulder. “Looks like someone’s enjoying themselves here, wouldn’t you say? Can’t keep your eyes off him, can you?” He whistled quietly, but appreciatively, through his teeth. “Not that I blame you – he’s one hell of a catch, isn’t he?”

“Oh, drop it, will you?” snapped Dan, his face growing redder and redder. “I’ve told you, he’s  _ not  _ my boyfriend,” he added, getting up and stalking off.

Nick grimaced. “Well played, John. Really. Well played.”

 “Oh, lighten up, he’s just being melodramatic again. Trust me, he’ll be back in ten minutes armed with another drink. And besides,” his grin widened, “he might have said Rupesh isn’t his boyfriend, but I never heard him say he didn’t  _ want _ him to be his boyfriend, did you?” 

Nick growled. “Don’t even think about it. They’ve got to figure things out for themselves, not have to worry about their meddling friends.” 

 

_ “Oh I'm so worried about my love _

_ They say no, No it won't last forever _

_ And here I am again my girl _

_ Wondering what on earth I am doing here _

_ Maybe he doesn't love me _

_ I just took a trip on my love for him. _

 

_ Ooh he's here again _

_ The man with the child in his eyes _

_ Ooh he's here again _

_ The man with the child in his eyes.” _

 

When Rupesh came back, amidst raucous applause (and several calls for an encore), John immediately pounced on him. “Nice work up there – it certainly worked on your man; I don’t think I’ve seen anyone blush so much in years!”  _ Though, actually, looking at you right now, I might just have to retract that statement; you’ve almost turned into a tomato! _

“My man?” spluttered Rupesh, staring at them with wide eyes. “I don’t – wait, you don’t mean Dan? He’s not…I mean, yeah, we have – a few times, but it’s not serious!”

“Hmm.” John eyed him. “It’s not serious, but you, at least, want it to be, is that right?”

“I never said that.” Rupesh scowled and stared down at his hands.

_ But you never denied it either.  _ Out loud, though, John only said, “Okay, so…what does Dan want?” He almost laughed at himself, wondering when he had suddenly become a relationship counsellor. He really must have gone soft over the last years.

For a long moment, it looked as though Rupesh wasn’t going to answer as he sat still and bit his lip, his face going redder and redder until John thought he might literally explode.

“I don’t know,” he finally admitted. “I mean, we’ve known each other for years, we get on really well and…well, when we’re together, it’s pretty amazing too. I think he does definitely care about me, and I do about him, but I just can’t be sure that he’s ready to put himself out there and start a full-blown proper relationship after what he went through last time with you.”

The last comment was directed at Nick, who sat up straight. “That does make sense,” he admitted. “He’s probably scared that his father is going to intervene again, like he did with us – and, if that doesn’t work, he might try and hurt you.”

“Do you think that’s possible?” asked Rupesh, his voice shaking. “I mean, I know his father isn’t exactly a nice man, but do you really think he could go after me and my family?”

“I think he could certainly try anything to keep Dan under his thumb and mould him into the son he always wanted him to be – and I think Dan knows it too,” replied Nick evenly. “That’s why he’s trying to keep his distance from you – he cares about you and he’s terrified that you might get hurt.”

“But I don’t care!” Rupesh caught himself and lowered his voice. “Well, I mean, I  _ do  _ care, but it doesn’t change that I only want to be with him – properly, if he’ll have me. I’ve wanted that for years, even way back when –” he stopped and clapped his hands over his mouth. 

“All that time?” whispered Nick. “Wow. Well…then you owe it to yourself, and to him, to tell him how you feel and make sure he knows what you want.”

“And don’t worry about his so-called father,” added John. “You’re both under the protection of Torchwood now and we will not let him near you. That’s a promise.”

“John’s right,” agreed Nick. “Now – go on with you! He’s over there by the door; go and talk to him and get this sorted once and for all!”

Watching their friend gather his courage and go off to find what, or who, he was looking for, John sat back in his chair. “Do you think he’ll do it?”

“I think he will,” replied Nick. “Rupesh is a little quiet and shy, but he’s definitely not the sort who’ll give up easily. Just watch this space.”

***

_ Next Time: Christmas is on the way, and Nick gets to spend some precious time with a few people he dearly loves – as well as a couple of old friends… _

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s December and time for a Christmas play...and a few surprises as well.

_ December 9 _ _ th _ _ , 2013... _

Some days, John would look at himself and admit that he could hardly believe how his life had turned out.  Growing up in the, at times, hedonistic atmosphere of the fifty-first century and then the highly charged and ferocity of the Time Agency, he knew that if someone had told him that this would end up being his life, he would have openly laughed in their faces – and then very probably kissed that same face as well. And yet, here he was, a little over two weeks to go before Christmas, a steady job, happily married and heading off to watch his stepson – he even had two  _ stepchildren! _ – in his school Nativity play. It seemed so ridiculous that he had actually spent most of the day pinching himself just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, but then here he was, parked outside the small school with his husband dozing in the seat beside him. Shaking his head fondly, he leaned over to kiss Nick, smiling when his eyes fluttered open. “Wake up, sleepyhead,” he chuckled, “we’re here.”

“Mmm…what time is it?” asked Nick, rubbing his eyes, “and what’ve I done with my glasses?”

“It’s half past six and your glasses are in your pocket.” John fished them out and perched them on the bridge of Nick’s nose. “I took the liberty of moving them when you fell asleep so they didn’t get lost. Seriously, are you ever going to think about investing in a pair of contact lenses?”

“Somehow, I have a feeling we’ve had this discussion so many times already, you know,” snorted Nick. “My answer still isn’t going to change any time soon. I hate the thought of putting bits of glass or whatever they’re made of into my eye and besides, do you really think having something small and occasionally shiny lying around with the variety of alien life we’ve got at home is a good idea?”

“Probably not, especially after what happened to those jars of glitter I bought the other week.” It turned out that the memory of an Adipose and what were essentially a few baby dragons playing with glitter was still enough to make John cringe. He’d also had nightmares about it for over a week after the event. “Anyway, let’s get going – your son is probably chomping at the bit to see you before he goes onstage.”  

They traipsed through the freezing cold car park and into the well-lit school hallway. People were already wandering about and commenting on the artwork decorating the halls and even tapping their feet along to the beat of the Christmas songs playing. A lot of children – probably come to see their older or younger siblings in the evening’s play – were giggling and trading bits of tinsel to put in each other’s hair whilst their parents simply watched with amusement. 

“So…it really is always like this, then,” whispered John, his mind suddenly reminding him of how chaotic it had been the previous year.

 

“Every time, yes, if my family are to be believed. People love coming to watch their kids act out in the school play, even if they’re playing the rear end of the donkey.”

 

“I…bet you absolutely loved that.”

 

“Oh, no, it wasn’t me. It was Catrin. That was her starring role.” He paused. “But, seriously, don’t tell her I told you that, because she will literally kill me.”

 

“Noted,” said John, while resolving to make as many subtle donkey-related jokes as he possibly could. “And what about you? Don’t tell me you were the front of the donkey.”

 

“Well, considering that I was about two years old at the time, I’d have to say no,” replied Nick. “Actually, I played one of the three kings and borrowed Ianto’s mum’s special beaded cape just for the occasion. With her permission, of course.” 

 

“I bet you looked adorable. Please tell me you’ve got photos.”

 

“Lots of them, don’t you worry. Speaking of which –”

 

“Yes, for the twelfth time, I’ve got the camera and my phone. Panic not, we’ll have plenty of pictures of Trev being adorable by the time the night’s over. Speaking of which,” he nodded at someone rushing over to them and squealing with joy. Laughing, he clapped his hands. “Hey there, buddy!”

 

“Daddy! Uncle John!” Tea towel flapping around on his head, the little boy rushed up and hugged Nick tightly around the waist. “Do I look like Joseph?” he asked them.

 

Nick smiled and bent down so he was at eye level with his son. “You look absolutely perfect,” he said. “Definitely like Joseph. Now, go on out there and break a leg, okay?”

 

“No!” Trev looked horrified. “I’m not going to break my leg! It’d hurt and then I can’t do the play!”

 

“Of course you aren’t really going to break your leg,” agreed John. “Your daddy just wants to wish you good luck.” 

“Oh.” Trev still looked confused. “So why didn’t you just say good luck, then?” He giggled. “You were just being silly, Daddy!” 

Nick ruffled his hair. “Yes, yes, Daddy is very silly. Now – are you ready for this!”

“Yes!”

“Are you set?”

“Yes – Daddy, Auntie Cat already asked! Can I just go now?”

“All right, all right – off you go then, you little hero!”

“Bless him,” remarked John fondly. “He really is turning out to be such a little character, and a real credit to you.” He wondered idly if it was bad form to to say that Trev was a credit to Nick’s deceased wife as well, but he realised that he didn’t really care about that. What the dead did not know could hardly hurt them, after all, and besides Nick appeared to have finally healed from the eventual train wreck that his first marriage had ultimately turned out to be. Obviously, he knew that thoughts of Alison did cross his mind sometimes – tonight very probably being one of them, knowing that she would not be there to cheer their son on – but he had absolutely no intention of asking him about it. There was, after all, no point in dragging up the past. 

A teacher suddenly appeared in the hall and clapped her hands for attention. “Ladies and gentlemen, the play is going to start in ten minutes, so please make your way into the Hall and take your seats.”

 

~*~

 

As the play reached its conclusion and the young cast gathered together for the finale rendition of ‘Away in a Manger’, John, much to his surprise, found himself joining in with the rest of the audience. While he was certainly not shy when it came to singing, he had rarely joined in with carols, finding the religious element to them rather disconcerting. Then again, until the previous year, he had never been to see a children’s Nativity play, either, if his stepson had been in it; he had just never had the patience for such things. 

 

But now, watching the adorable scenes on the stage, he could not for the life of him imagine ever being anywhere else. He felt warm, happy and, for now, at peace, which was definitely an unusual thing as far as he was concerned. 

_ You’re getting really soft in your old age,  _ he mused to himself.  _ First, you’re plying your trade as a relationship counsellor when before you’d probably have taken advantage of the situation and talked them into a threesome or an orgy. Now, here you are, watching a group of kids singing old songs that you’ve always hated because you objected so strongly to the taking over of a beautiful Pagan festival.  _

He frowned, waiting for that sinking feeling to come, telling him that this, where he was and what he was doing, was all wrong and that he should be off travelling through the universe and leaving havoc behind him. But the feeling did not come, not even the tiniest hint of bitterness. It was true that he could easily be anywhere except where he was now, but, he realised, it was also true that he didn’t  _ want  _ to be there – he didn’t want to be anywhere except for right where he was. He had finally found a place where he was happy, a place where he belonged. For the first time probably since his mother had been killed, he realised, he was finally home. 

Impulsively, when the lights came back on and the audience burst into cheers and applause, John turned round, swept Nick up into his arms and kissed him deeply, ignoring the whistles from the couple sat beside them.

 

Nick blinked up at him, his eyes shining and his cheeks flushed. “Okay, not that I’m complaining and not that you need any reason to randomly kiss me, but…what on earth was that for?”

 

“Just because I love you,” said John with a shrug. “And I just felt the need to tell the whole world how amazing you are.”  _ And by the whole world, I of course mean this school hall. _

 

Nick shook his head, a grin spreading over his face. “You are definitely a very strange person,” he giggled. “But do you know what? I love you too.”

 

“I know.” John nudged Nick’s nose with his own. “But I’m serious. Coming back to Cardiff and meeting you was, honestly, one of the best things that could have possibly happened to me. It reminded me just how good it feels to have solid ground under my feet and to know that I don’t have to keep trying to find what I’m looking for, because it’s  _ right here _ .” He knew that he was gazing at Nick with an expression that, had he been ten or even five years younger, would probably have left him feeling nauseous, but now just felt right.

 

Nick was staring at him, his face almost as red as a holly berry. “When on earth did you get so sentimental?”

 

“Must be that time of the year, I suppose. Isn’t it the time for it?”

 

“True.” Nick bumped his hip playfully and looked around the hall, his eyes suddenly pausing on two men laughing and hugging a small blonde boy dressed as a shepherd. “Hey, I know those two…we worked together at St. David’s.”

 

“Oh?” John followed his gaze. “Huh, they’re kind of cute. Who’s the little lad?”

 

“Everyone’s kind of cute in your eyes,” said Nick with a smile. “And I’ve no idea; as far as I knew, neither of them have partners or kids, but it has been quite a while since I’ve seen them.

 

“Huh. Well, there’s no point just standing here; let’s go and say hello and find out.” 

 

Apparently, that was the only hint of suggestion that Nick needed and John watched, amused, as he crept up behind the two men and tickled them. By the time he caught up with them, Nick was being enthusiastically embraced by a short brunette who was jabbering wildly at him in a thick Scottish burr.

 

*The other man, who was tall, strong and well-built with fluffy strawberry blonde curls and dark brown eyes, smiled. “I take it you’re Nick’s husband,” he said. “John, isn’t it?”

 

_ Oh, wow, damn, he’s Irish.  _ Blinking and swallowing, John nodded. “Yes. John Hart. Or possibly Hart-Jones, I don’t think we ever officially finalised that.”

 

“Ryan McCauley.” The two men shook hands. “I take it you were here to see little Trev in his starring role then?”

 

“Yep. He’d never have forgiven us if we’d missed it. But I’m glad we did come to see him; it was great to watch him enjoying himself so much.” John smiled. “What about you? Come for your son, I take it?”

 

“Hmm? Oh, no, Killian’s not my son, he’s my nephew. Sam and I adopted him about a month ago.” Ryan smiled, but it was a little wistful. “His mother – my sister – she unfortunately passed away about six or so years ago and he stayed with his his father, but…well, let’s just say his circumstances unexpectedly and suddenly changed.”

 

“That can’t have been easy,” mused John, “especially when you’re both working hard jobs. Are you both doctors?”

 

“Sam is. I’m actually a nurse. And, yeah, I can’t say it’s been easy, because it hasn’t. But my brother-in-law didn’t have any living relatives and the rest of my family are all over in Ireland and, to be honest, they’re even less equipped to look after a young child than I am. I did wonder if I was actually the best option, I admit, especially thinking about how it might make things tricky with Sam. But I also knew that I couldn’t say no, he’s all I’ve got left of my sister.” 

 

He looked over at his partner and smiled. “Sam’s been great, too. He loves Killian like he’s his own son and, by the looks of it, the feeling is entirely mutual, so…so far, so good, I suppose.” 

*Sam chose this moment to chip into the conversation. “You know, I’m almost starting to wonder if there’s something in the water supply at work that’s making all of us admit that we’re actually into guys,” he quipped. “I mean, crikey, first Nick, then us, and now Dan and Rupesh!”

 

“Hey, my sexuality was never exactly a secret, I just happened to have a wife!” retorted Nick. “Oh, and yes, how are the other two doing?”

 

“Absolutely ridiculously well.” Ryan rolled his eyes, but John noticed that he was still smiling. “I have no idea what you two said to them, but they’ve been literally cooing over each other like a pair of doves since they went to that wedding together.

 

“Love over a liver transplant,” agreed Sam. 

 

“Pretty much. Don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled for them, but they really are getting sickeningly saccharine.”

 

Sam snorted. “Are you trying to say we aren’t?” he asked, leaning over to nuzzle his partner’s cheek. “Hon, I think all we’ve got to worry about is them stealing our ‘most romantic couple’ trophy.”

 

“And yes, there actually is one of those,” Nick piped up. “Ali and I actually won it one year, though admittedly, there wasn’t that much competition.”

 

John shook his head and watched the three old friends tease each other affectionately. Nick’s last remark had made him catch himself briefly wondering if Torchwood should implement a similar sort of award, considering the place was now full of couples. But then he remembered the competitive streak that Matt and Garrett had and dismissed the idea, knowing just how far his friends would go to win.

 

_ They’re both very attractive men, but, as much as I love them, and as much of an improvement it is to see them not sniping at each other all the time, I have absolutely no desire to witness them shagging on the conference room table, any more than they would want to watch me and Nick doing it.  _ Though he had to admit, the thought of what Garrett at least would say if he  _ did  _ happen to walk in at the wrong moment was certainly entertaining. 

 

*His gaze then flickered back towards Ryan, watching as he wrapped his arm around Sam’s waist, even as he blushed profusely at something his partner had said. Something was nagging at him about the Irishman, and it was definitely more than the usual fact that he could probably bring an entire galaxy to its knees just with the power of his smile. There was just something very familiar about him, though John was sure he had never met him before. Having said that, he also sincerely hoped that he hadn’t been on the receiving end of one of his many very drunken one-night stands. Quite aside from the fact that being so drunk that he forgot he had slept with someone that attractive was nothing short of a crime in John’s mind, there was also the issue of Ryan being one of Nick’s friends, which would have made the whole situation incredibly awkward. The good news, however, was that Ryan was giving no sign of ever having met John before, though whether he was genuine or just a really good actor was still up for debate.

 

He was jerked out of his musings by someone nudging him in the chest and he blinked and straightened up. “Sorry, I missed that. What were you saying?”

 

Sam chuckled. “I was just saying, the hospital panto is next week and it’s a right shame Nick isn’t going to be in it, because we were going to cast him as Joseph.”

 

“That would’ve been interesting, considering what happened the last time I got on stage for one of those dratted plays,” said Nick with a snort. He smiled wryly at John. “Let’s just say it did not go well and leave it at that.”

 

“Noted.” John swallowed hard, suddenly taking in the pallor in Nick’s face and the bags under his eyes. Even as he smiled, it had become all too clear just how worn out he was looking.

 

_ Fucking hell. I didn’t notice it before, but…he really is changing. He’s been getting weaker by the day, even though he’s trying to carry on as normal.  _ His heart ached at the sight, but he decided not to draw attention to it. Instead, he switched on the smile and forced out a laugh. “Well, I suppose your loss is Torchwood’s gain,” he said. “I’m amazed that you let him go, frankly!”

 

Sam laughed at the look of embarrassment on Nick’s face, but John’s attention was distracted by the sharp look that Ryan shot him. It was only for a second, but it was enough to tell John that he had registered the name ‘Torchwood’ and he was more familiar with it than he should be. He didn’t say a word, though, just turned back to laughing at the conversation, but his posture remained tense and his eyes kept looking around as though he was searching for something. 

 

John frowned. Of course, Torchwood was hardly a secret organisation – the stealing of the Earth by the Daleks and then the 456 had more than taken care of that even if the huge black SUV hadn’t – but even so, he couldn’t begin to imagine what Ryan could have to do with it. He nodded and laughed along with the others, but inwardly he was racking his brains and trying to recall why the blonde seemed so familiar. He was almost positive he could rule them sleeping together out – at least he hoped he could – and he was fairly sure he had never seen him on one of the rare occasions that he’d actually had to go to the hospital. But if it wasn’t either of those, then what on earth was it?

 

He growled to himself, which caught Nick’s attention and made him spin around. “Oh, sorry,” he said. “I guess I must be getting hungry.”  _ Nice save, Hart. _

 

Sam looked at his watch and whistled. “Sh – shoot, I didn’t realise it had gotten so late. Hon, we need to get going.” He pulled Nick into a hug and clapped him on the back. “You…make sure you look after yourself, do you hear me?” he said, his voice suspiciously hoarse in a way that suggested to John that he was at least aware that something was wrong with Nick, though whether it was because he had figured it out himself or because Nick had told him, he couldn’t tell.

 

Once the two men had said their goodbyes – accompanied by a very meaningful look from Ryan and a slightly impatient one from Sam – Nick ushered John back towards the entrance hall, whispering urgently. “Okay, what was going on back there?” he asked. “You were growling and yes, I know that wasn’t your stomach. Also, you barely took your eyes off Ryan. I admit, he’s gorgeous, but you really were playing with fire. Sam was getting a little territorial and, believe me, that is  _ not  _ a good thing.”

 

John was frowning slightly. “Nick,” he said, the thought having just occurred to him. “What did your friend Ryan say his last name was?”

 

“I didn’t realise he did, but it’s McCauley,” said Nick. “Why? Does that name sound familiar?” 

 

“Actually, it does.” John scratched his head a bit. “I've seen the name written down somewhere in the Torchwood archives. But it wasn't Ryan's name...I think it was a woman's name instead.” Quickly, he checked to make sure no one was looking and pulled out a handheld device that he and Ianto had developed. It allowed him to enter a word, or a name, into a search field and would then pull up the relevant record for what the person was searching for. 

 

“John,” said Nick, sounding uncomfortable. “Do...do we have to do this right here and right now?” 

 

Instantly, John abandoned his search at the tension in his love's voice. “Are you okay?” He cursed inwardly; Nick was had grown even paler and he looked utterly exhausted.  _ This is getting to be far too much for him – he’s losing all his energy so quickly. If only he wasn't so damn good at hiding his pain!  _

 

“I'm fine.” Nick was clearly trying to smile reassuringly, but it came out as more of a grimace. “Well...I will be once we get somewhere warmer; it's freezing in here.”

 

John swore softly and instantly wrapped his coat around Nick's shoulders before picking him up and carrying him outside. “Don't say a word,” he warned, forestalling his husband's imminent protests. “You need to stay warm and I've got my fifty-first century physiology, which is doing its job just fine. Besides,” and here, he gently placed Nick in the front seat of his Jaguar, “we're on our way home.”

 

~*~

 

“Okay,” said Nick, “so, what was it about Ryan's last name that seemed familiar?” 

 

“Don't know yet, but if you give me a minute...” John tinkered with the Archive Searcher a few more times – and mentally resolved to help Ianto come up with a better name for it, and quickly – and cheered slightly when it buzzed. “Got it!” 

 

“What's it say?” 

 

“Nick, did you know that Ryan had a sister?”

 

“Of course I did,” said Nick. “Sarah was his twin sister and Killian’s mother. She came down to the hospital a few times when I was there, though I only met her once. But when she died, Ryan was really crushed. She really meant the world to him.”

 

 “Do you know anything about how she died?”

 

“He just told us she died suddenly – like, one minute she was there and then the next she wasn't. We never asked anything else and he never told us. But whatever he was actually told about her death, it wasn't that. He was too shocked for it to have just been a simple accident.” 

 

John sighed and sat down next to Nick. “Is this her?” he asked, showing his partner the picture that was displayed on the small screen. 

 

Nick looked at it. “Yeah, that's Sarah. I only met her once, like I said, but I remember thinking that, apart from being a woman, she looked exactly like her brother.” He cocked his head, frowning. “But why is her name in the Torchwood Archives?” 

 

“Did you know anything about what she did? I mean, where she worked?”

 

“Just that she lived in London; she never told us...” Nick trailed off slightly, “exactly...what her job was.” Quickly, he grabbed the Searcher and scanned the document John had been looking at. 

 

“Sarah died at Canary Wharf,” murmured John. He rubbed Nick's knee gently. “How much do you think Ryan would have been told?”

 

“Been told? Very little. I think the news at the time said that it was a terrorist attack that destroyed the building. But how much did he know?” Nick shrugged. “That's a very different story altogether.”

 

“What d'you mean?”  

 

“Think about it. The fall of Canary Wharf was right in the public eye. Why would Ryan tell us his sister died suddenly and make it sound like it was from a heart attack or a stroke or something like he did?”  

 

Nick was silent for a few minutes as he nodded slowly. “He came in a few days after the Battle and he was as pale as a sheet. He told us that Sarah had unexpectedly and suddenly passed away. Shaking like a leaf, he was, like he couldn’t quite believe what he was saying. I mean, we were all shocked and I felt terrible for him, but other than that, I didn’t really think much else of it. A few people remarked that he seemed really strangely rattled by it, but that didn’t seem too unusual either. I mean, his twenty-five-year-old sister, who was, as far as he knew, perfectly healthy the previous day, had suddenly died. Of course he was going to be shocked; who wouldn’t be?”

 

He rubbed his forehead and turned his attention back to the screen. “He took some time off work – compassionate leave – and I went round to see him one day, just to bring him some food and check up on him a little bit. He was a little quiet, but nothing that seemed too out of the ordinary, all things considered. But when I was there, I noticed something; his laptop was on and he’d been looking at the news articles about what happened at Canary Wharf. I mean, you know they called it a terrorist attack, but,” he shrugged. “Well, anyway, I thought it was a bit strange, but it had been on the news a lot, so I thought he just wanted to find out more about it or something, just anything to take his mind off what had happened. He used to do it whenever he lost a patient; bury himself in random articles. It was just his way of coping.”

John nodded, slightly questioning just how healthy that was as a coping mechanism, but also knowing that he had absolutely no room to judge, considering his own track record.

“Anyway,” continued Nick, “I thought that was a bit unusual, but I know Ryan and his habits, so, again, I just shrugged it off. But then I noticed a folded up letter on the table.” He saw John’s look and rolled his eyes. “No, I didn’t read it, you know I’m not in the habit of snooping. But it was from Sarah. And…” he stopped and swallowed, “I saw the last couple of lines where she was telling Ryan not to worry and promising that she’d do everything she could to stay safe, while reminding him that she loved him.” 

He rubbed his face. “I didn’t see a date on it, but, especially now that we’ve found out all this, I have to wonder if she was getting worried about the ghost shifts and she wanted Ryan to know something, just in case anything happened to her.”

“Wow,” murmured John, running his hands through his spiky hair. “Did you say anything to him?”

“Not directly, no. I just told him that I’d be there if he wanted to talk about anything and that everyone at work was thinking of him. He never said anything, but just before I left, I thought he was about to say something, maybe even to call me back. But I never brought it up again with him in case I was reading too much into it.”

“But you don’t think you were.” It wasn’t a question. “Bottom line now is, now that you know you were right, what are you going to do with this information? Are you going to tell him the truth?”

Nick gaped. “I…I have no idea,” he said. “I hadn’t really thought that far ahead.” He bit his lip. “I mean, suppose he knows something already. I could tell him the rest of the story, if he wants to know it, and maybe arrange for him to talk to someone about it, if that’s what he wants. But then again, I don’t want to be the one who drags all of that awful stuff up again, however much I hate having to keep secrets from a friend.”

“Would you want to know if you were in his shoes?”

“If it had been Ianto or Cat? Probably, yes. But then again, I’m not him.” He looked thoughtful. “What would you want if it was you?”

That question barely required thinking about. “I would definitely want to know the truth. I’ve had enough of being lied to about people I care about. And I wouldn’t do it to anyone else, secrecy be damned.”

“That’s true.” If Nick was surprised by the vehemence of the reply, he didn’t show it. “Although I think the secrecy ship has long since sailed. But I’m also worried about whether he’d be able to handle it if he did find out, and if, ultimately, it would do any good.”

John nodded. “If you’re not sure, maybe you should bring it up with Sam, or even Dan or Rupesh first, and see what they think. But I think Ryan’s made of stronger stuff than you might think – he is a nurse, after all.”

“I know he is.” Nick groaned and leaned back into John’s arms. “I still worry about him and I hate the thought of what this could do to him. God, what a crappy mess this is.”

“Yeah. That it is,” John agreed and rubbed his shoulders, kissing the top of his head. “Hey, why don’t you go up and run yourself a nice warm bubble bath or something? All this stress can’t be good for you and, quite honestly, you look completely shattered.”

To his surprise, Nick nodded. “That’s probably the best idea I’ve heard all evening,” he admitted, pulling himself out of his chair. “You coming?”

“In a minute, I just want to finish up a few things down here.”

Once the sound of Nick’s footsteps on the stairs had died away, John closed the door and punched a number into the telephone. “Hey, it’s me,” he said, taking care to keep his voice low. “Let’s get this ready.”

***

_ Next Time: Christmas is on the way, but what has John got up his sleeve? _   
  



	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to extreme efforts to make this Christmas a special one for Nick. But is he going to be in for a shock?

_ 19 _ _ th _ _ December 2013… _

“Thanks for doing this,” muttered John as he fidgeted with his vortex manipulator again. “I think…yep, there we go, I’ve got the right coordinates this time.”

Ianto gave him a wry smile. “I should definitely hope you have,” he said. “It wouldn’t do at all for you to try and go to all this effort to get this thing done properly and then mess it up by ending up on the wrong side of the universe.

“That has actually happened, once or twice – it was always Jack’s fault, of course; the man would never ask for directions, even in the middle of a desert. Fortunately, it never got us into any really serious trouble, and more often than not…” but he trailed off when he realised Ianto was glowering at him. “Anyway. I assume you, Jack and the others can manage to keep Nick occupied for the rest of the day, right?”

The look Ianto gave him in response was entirely unimpressed. “What, exactly, do you take me for? I know precisely what I’m doing – and, if all else fails, I’m almost one hundred per cent sure we can count on the Rift to help us out. Oh, don’t worry,” he backed away from the ferocious glare John knew had formed on his face at that comment, “I won’t let him join in on anything too dangerous. Nothing worse than capturing a stray Weevil, I promise.”

“Right answer,” said John grimly, even though he knew that Nick would not take such a restriction gracefully. “Because I’m sure you can understand that I would really prefer  _ not  _ to lose him before we can celebrate our first Christmas as a married couple.” He grabbed his scar and wrapped it tightly around his neck. “Ianto, I have to ask – do you think he suspects we’re up to something?”

“Of course he does.” Ianto scoffed and rolled his eyes a little. “For one thing, you and I both know he’s not stupid. For another thing, and I hate to point this out, but you have not exactly been subtle about any of this. Mind you, I also think he’s got enough on his plate, especially after last week.”

“Well, yes, that’s true.” John sighed as he remembered. After talking extensively with the rest of the team, as well as with Dan and Rupesh, Nick had finally made the hard decision to tell Sam and Ryan the truth about Ryan’s sister, Sarah, and how she had actually died. It had turned out that Ryan, at least, had suspected that there was more to the story than he had been told, largely thanks to some letters that Sarah had sent him in the weeks before she had died. While she had not been overt or blatant about what she was doing, it had been enough for Ryan to deduce that the work she was doing was dangerous – crucial for humanity, it was true, but dangerous as well. 

However, it had turned out that, while Ryan had been shocked, but grateful to know the truth at last, Sam had not taken the news quite so well.

~*~

_ One week earlier… _

_ Nick sighed and leaned back against the sofa, and John immediately wrapped his arms around him. He could tell just how much of a toll the terrible memories had taken on his husband, and it hurt deeply that he was having to dredge them all up again and relive them, one by one. Even the fact that he was doing it so that he could help his friend was no consolation. _

_ “Wow.” Ryan rubbed his face and breathed out heavily. “I…wow.” _

_ “It’s a lot to take in, believe me, I know,” said Nick quietly. _

_ “Yeah. I…well, thanks for telling me, I guess.” He stood up and paced around the room, his eyes moving swiftly around and his hands running through his hair. “I’m glad…glad she…” but he stopped again and shook his head. “I need some air,” he finally gasped out and rushed out of the front door. _

_ John sighed. “Well, now that he knows, we can introduce him to Emily, the counsellor who works with us, if that’s what she wants,” he said cautiously. “It’s entirely up to him, but she’s been brilliant with Nick and Ianto and maybe she could help him too.” _

_ “Oh, aye.” Sam did not look up at them, “I’m very sure she could. But then again, maybe it would have helped him more if he hadn’t been told about it in the first place!” he snarled. _

_ John jerked back, startled and ready to reply equally angrily, but Nick shook his head and sat up straight again. “Sam,” he said quietly, “don’t think for one minute that I came to this decision lightly. I thought long and hard about whether this was the right thing to do, and whether Ryan would be able to cope with it. But, in the end, I felt that it was for the best and, more importantly, that he had a right to know the truth about this. You heard what he said, too, about Sarah writing to him – he knew that there was more to this than what he’d already been told.” _

_ “And he’s no fool either,” added John. “You know that. If he’d dug deep enough, he’d probably have worked it all out, sooner or later, and I can’t see how that would have been any better.” _

_ Sam shook his head. “No, don’t give me any of that. I mean, you…okay, I can sort of let you off since you only met us properly last week. But  _ you _!” he spun round to face Nick, “six years you’ve known about this – six goddamn years! – and you decide that  _ now  _ is the right time to tell him about it? I know it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but I thought he was one of your friends, for goodness sake!” _

_ “He is!” exclaimed Nick. “It’s because he’s my friend that I felt I had to tell him!” _

_ “Rubbish!” scoffed Sam. “All you’ve done is drag up one of the worst days of his life! If you were going to tell him, don’t you think it should have been straight away, rather than letting him believe in those lies for so long?!”  _

_ “Hey!” John had heard enough and now he jumped to his feet and grabbed Sam’s wrist. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ talk to my husband like that! You have no idea – absolutely none at all – just how difficult this has been for him. I know it can’t have been easy for Ryan to hear all that, and I do sympathise, but can you just take one moment and imagine, just for that one little moment, what it was like for all those people who were there on the day and had to watch their innocent colleagues and friends die, knowing that they could be next? Just put yourself in their position for one minute, if you can, and stop throwing out senseless accusations!” _

_ He waited for Sam to speak, but when he only scowled, he added. “Oh, and for the record, the reason Nick didn’t say anything in the first place was because he didn’t know, not for sure! He had his suspicions, yes, but he didn’t want to say anything in case he’d been wrong.” _

_  “And I thought Ryan would feel better knowing that his sister didn’t die for nothing,” whispered Nick. “I don’t know what her role there was, but I do know that in her time at Torchwood, she helped to protect the Earth so many times. We might not even be here if it wasn’t for people like her.” _

_ “Not that it did her much good in the end,” growled Sam. “It didn’t stop her from dying, did it?” _

_ “No, it didn’t. And it didn’t help the others who were lost there, either. But, if nothing else, what happened that day was a wake-up call that the organisation needed and at least ensured –” _

_ “That nothing like that would ever happen again – oh,  _ please _!” Sam rolled his eyes. “Give it a rest. Even you can’t be naïve enough to believe that’s even possible. I mean, seriously, even if it had actually worked, considering that Cardiff is now apparently the new hot-bed for alien activity – do you think it’s going to be any consolation at all for Ryan?” He shook his head, his eyes burning with furious tears. “I need to go and find him, try and pick up the pieces you’ve managed to leave him in. I just hope it’s not too late.” _

_ “Sam!” protested Nick. _

_ “Save it. There’s a spare key in the bowl there; make sure you’re not here when we get back.” He stopped halfway out of the door and turned back. “Have a nice life together – what’s left of it, that is.” _

_ “Hey, that’s –” but the door slammed shut before John could finish the sentence. “Shit!” he growled and kicked out at the floor _

_ “John.” Nick stood up very slowly and rested a trembling hand on his shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. He’s just angry and upset and worried.” _

_ “That’s no excuse,” fumed John. “What he just said – he knew that it was the worst thing he could possibly say to you, he knew how much he would hurt you!” _

_ He turned around and swallowed. “Look at you now; you’re all stressed out and worked up and he knows that’s not good for you right now.” _

_ “I’ll be all right,” insisted Nick, even as a couple of tears slipped down his cheeks and he started shaking even more violently. “Can we just go home now?” _

~*~

“I take it neither of you have heard from Sam or Ryan since you told them, then?” asked Ianto.

“No,” sighed John. “It’s been total radio silence and it’s hurting Nick so much.” He swallowed hard and looked away, recalling how he had sat up for hours that night calming Nick down and comforting him as he broke down in his arms. How he’d been forced to watch him crying out and tossing and turning in his sleep as those terrible memories had returned to haunt his nightmares all over again. His heart broke over and over again at having to see the man he loved so scared and vulnerable, and he cursed the Scotsman for his part in doing that to him. 

“That’s why I want to do this properly,” he said, speaking almost to himself. “I want to take this chance to remind him that there are still plenty of people here who love him and want to be there and support him, no matter what it takes.” 

He was surprised when Ianto came over and squeezed his hand gently. The Welshman did not say a word, but they shared a significant look and John realised there and then that Ianto understood and acknowledged the other reason he had for doing this, even though neither of them could stand to say it out loud. 

“Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath and dragging his other hand over his eyes, “let’s get this show on the road. Time to start making this Christmas the best one ever.” 

~*~

_ Ten minutes later… _

“Okay, John, where exactly are we going?” asked Emily as she and Garrett followed John into the tourist office.

“We are going somewhere I can absolutely guarantee you two have never been before,” answered John, laughing at the matching looks of frustration that his cryptic reply was greeted with. “What? Oh, come on, you would never want me to spoil the surprise, now would you?” 

”You mean you couldn’t trust us not to tell Nick that we were going somewhere off-planet,” contradicted Garrett. “You are not a subtle man John, but I think you know that.”

“We don’t have time for subtle,” answered John with a shrug. “Actually, we also don’t have time to faff around, so if I were you, I’d stop blathering and get over here so we can go.”

The other two rolled their eyes, but nodded and each gripped onto one of John’s arms. “Okay. Now, hold on tight,” he warned. “It’s very easy to get lost doing this and that is  _ not  _ something I particularly want to explain to your other halves.”

“Is this the part where one of us should say ‘beam…” but Garrett’s sarcastic voice was drowned out by the whoosh of air through John’s ears. He closed his eyes tightly and gritted his teeth against the nausea surging through his body; even now, this method of travel could apparently still play havoc with his body.

_ Just keep thinking about why you’re doing this,  _ he told himself.  _ Think about Nick’s face when he comes in tonight and sees it. Doing something like that for the person you love is going to make this all –  _

But the thought was cut off when his body hit freezing wet ground and he fell forwards hard. Dimly, he heard twin grumbles – and one rather impressive set of Welsh cursing – and sat up, blinking rapidly as he brushed the snow out of his eyes. “Oh, good,” he quipped, seeing his teammates sitting up, “we all made it through in one piece.”

“If this is your idea of in one piece, I don’t think I want to know how much worse it could have been,” huffed Garrett, who was looking dazed. “Remind me again why we couldn’t have just called the Doctor for this?”

“After what happened on John’s stag night, combined with his previous track record, I think it’s been proven that he can’t be trusted to get anyone to the right place at the right time.” Emily had stood up and was now brushing snow off her clothes. “Still, if we end up with hypothermia, I’m blaming you for it, Hart-Jones.”

“Oh, stop complaining, you’re both still alive, aren’t you?” retorted John as he pulled himself to his feet, hoping no one would notice that he was swaying a bit. “Anyway. Welcome to Vaecano, a place that is going to help us –”

“Make Nick’s Christmas?” Emily smiled wryly. “We guessed that.” She laughed as John threw a snowball at her. “Oh, do you really want to be doing that?”

“Is there any chance we could just get moving and focus on what we’re here for before one of us actually freezes to death?” Garrett pointed at himself. “Come to think of it…what are we doing here?”

“We’re here to find a Christmas tree,” said John, as though this was the most normal thing in the world to do, although if the incredulous looks he was receiving in response were anything to go by, it wasn’t. “What?”

“Sorry, but…” Garrett blinked very slowly as though he was having trouble comprehending something, “I must have been hallucinating, but I could have sworn I just heard you tells us that you’ve just brought us who knows how far across the universe just for a Christmas tree. Please,  _ please  _ tell me you’re not serious.” 

“Then cover your ears.” John shrugged and started walking off. “And, trust me, you will warm up pretty soon, though you should have listened to me when I told you to wrap up properly.”

He heard Garrett mutter something irritable and vaguely obscene, but decided that it wasn’t worth the effort of replying to him when he was in this mood. Of course, it was technically true that they could have simply gone to the local shops and bought a nice tree there, but the fact was, he simply hadn’t wanted to. He had wanted to do something new and really special this time, and if coming to a different planet was what that would take, then that was exactly what he was going to do, regardless of what anyone else thought. Besides, he admitted to himself, there was another reason why he had chosen this place in particular, out of all the other ones he could have picked. 

The trio eventually came to a halt in the middle of a dense forest, lit only by the lights of millions of tiny fireflies. Emily stared up at them, her hands clasped over her mouth in astonishment, and even Garrett managed to stop complaining and look impressed. No one wanted to speak or move in case they broke the moment, and John felt tears prick his eyes as he was assaulted by a stream of memories of the last time he had set foot in this forest and the times, both happy and sad, that he had spent here in the past. He glanced over at Emily and Garrett, who were apparently still spellbound by the scenery, even as the fireflies decided to come and swirl around them, and he sighed. As fond as he was of his companions – though he could definitely have done without Garrett’s constant moaning about the weather – he was only too aware of who he would have really wanted to have brought here, except that now it was too late. Had he known what would be in their future and how little time they would have in the end, he would have made every effort to bring Nick here, to show him this place; he might even have taken him here on their honeymoon. But, as he well knew, there was no point in wishing for what might have been. All he could do was hope that his plan went right and that, if he couldn’t bring Nick to this place, then at least he could bring it back to him, just so he could have a small taste of it. 

With a sigh, he wiped his hand over his face and turned back to the others. “All right, come on then,” he ground out, “let’s get moving. It’s starting to get late and we want to be out of here before it gets dark.”  _ And please, for once, don’t argue or ask any questions. _

To his great relief, neither of them did, though John did notice that Garrett seemed very reluctant to leave the place. He could understand that; the first time he had come here, he had been just as taken in by the mysterious beauty of the place and just as reluctant to leave it. But he also knew that one thing they were short of was time, and that this was a situation that had to be handled hastily and without the usual delicacy.

Spinning around, he walked over to the younger man and caught his arm. “Sorry about this,” he said and, without any warning, he smashed their mouths together hard, hoping this would work.

It did. As though a switch had suddenly been flipped on, Garrett let out a yell and backed away, his grey eyes wide with shock and fury. “What the hell was that for?!” he spluttered.

“Don’t ask questions now,” snapped John. “Believe me, I wasn’t exactly thrilled with having to do that either, but you’ll thank me for it later – and so will your husband when we get home again. Now, come on.” He stomped on, but when he realised that the other two were still flat-out gaping at him, he groaned. “Let’s just say that this place may be beautiful, but it’s also extremely dangerous and leave it at that. Now, can we please get moving!”

They did, though not without having to listen to Garrett’s incredulous sputtering about what had just happened. John almost laughed out loud at how insulted he sounded.  _ I almost feel as though I should be insulted on behalf of my past self,  _ he mused.  _ Sure, I’ve changed in a lot of ways, mostly for the better, but I don’t think my kissing ability has gone downhill – or, at least, I certainly hope it hasn’t.  _ he silently resolved to test that theory with Nick when they got back. It certainly never hurt to be sure.

“Hey, John?” Emily had caught up with him, her face a little pink. “Are you going to have to do that on the way back? Only, Garry might kill you or castrate you if you try.”

“He can try both of those things, but they aren’t going to stick, as you know very well,” scoffed John. “Besides, we aren’t exactly going to be coming back this way. Oh, don’t look so alarmed,” he rolled his eyes as Emily stared at him. “I’m not the sort of guy who’d bring you all the way here and then just dump you for fun – well, not now at least. But we’re going to get to our destination, do what we need to do, and then leave from there.”

“You’d better not be leaving us behind, that’s for sure,” muttered Garrett, but there was no real rancour in his voice any more. “Though, for the record? If you  _ were  _ to try and kiss me, or anything else, again, I will not be the one to kill you. I won’t have the chance.”

His voice was calm and quiet, but there was no mistaking the threat there, and John swallowed. “Noted,” he agreed. He had absolutely no inclination to mess with a weapons expert, especially not one who was ferociously protective of his husband. “You’re…not really going to tell Matt about it, though, are you?” he asked, trying to sound casual. “Because, seriously, I only did it for your own good. You were starting to get swept away by the forest.” He noticed then, with some relief, that the trees were finally starting to think out and he could see the sea in front of them.  _ About blood time,  _ he thought with a grim smile.

Garrett didn’t appear to have noticed it though. “And…that would have been bad?” He snorted. “You make it sound like this place is sentient or something.”

“I don’t know about sentient.” John closed his eyes and breathed in the sudden salty tang of the sea air as they left the trees behind. “But yes, it certainly is something.”

Emily had apparently had enough now, because she rolled her eyes. “Will you both stop it?” she snapped, smacking Garrett on the arm and John around the head. “Garry, you’ve been a pain in the arse ever since we got here, so just for a few minutes can you shut up? And John, stop teasing him and winding him up even more, and maybe just show us where we’re supposed to go next?”

“I’m not bloody teasing,” muttered John, though he was careful to make sure the other two didn’t hear him. “And as for where we’re going,” he pointed to a shining citadel before them, right near the beach, “it’s right there.” 

He stood where he was and just stared out at the view. The sun was setting over the water and shining brightly over the now snow-covered beach, even as the waves crashed against the shore. Looking around, he could see the plants and flowers bursting through the shining brickwork, just as they always had before. To the naked eye, it looked as though nothing had changed, but for John it was only too clear that everything was different now. He shivered even as he looked at it, already overwhelmed with emotion. Closing his eyes, he could see the place in its former glory, feel the warm sun on his face, even smell the unusual plants as they were cultivated day by day.

At the same time, as he delved further into his memories, he could hear the voices talking and laughing amongst themselves, gushing over the new plants that had been acquired. They all sounded so happy and so full of life that it seemed inconceivable to imagine that everything could have changed so quickly and become so – 

He gasped and opened his eyes, blinking and breathing heavily. That had been so vivid, so real, it was almost as though he had been back there again.

“I…” he swallowed and cleared his throat, suddenly realising that the other two were staring at him with a mixture of curiosity and concern. “I’m fine,” he tried again. “Come on, we came here to do a job, so let’s get on with it.”

They wandered across the beach, the sand under the snow cushioning their feet, and headed for the city. As they approached it, something caught John’s eye and he looked around, blinking against the now rapidly falling snowflakes. He gasped when he looked closer and realised what he was seeing.

It was a small grove in which hundreds of tiny red, white and purple flowers were growing, apparently untroubled by either the cold weather or the falling snow. They stayed, bright and proud, as though they were guarding the gleaming monument they surrounded.

***

_ Next Time: What monument has John stumbled upon? Will the trio get home in time for Christmas? _


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group look for the perfect Christmas tree, but John has other things on his mind as well.

John's mouth felt very dry as he stared at the tomb. He could feel his heart pounding away inside his chest, so hard it was almost painful. He almost couldn't make himself believe what he was looking at; he certainly had not seen it the last time he had been here. But that meant someone had obviously come back and done it, though who that could have been, he could not begin to imagine. The only other person he could think of had sworn a long time ago that the only way they would return here was when they were brought here in a coffin and that they never wished to see, or remember it, again for as long as they lived.

Garrett suddenly nudged him, jolting him back to the present with an unpleasant bump. "Hey," he said, "we don't know where we're supposed to go from here and the snow's starting to get heavier. So…a little bit of help would be useful if it's not _too much trouble._ "

"Right, of course." John blinked hard and looked around. "If, um…you need to…oh, bloody hell." He felt suddenly tired and disoriented and he knew perfectly well that it was more than just the journey here that was forcing him to lean against one of the walls to steady himself.

By now, Emily was frowning as well. "John, are you all right?" she asked gently. "It's just that you've been acting really strangely ever since we came out of those woods."

"Fine." _Good grief, that's my voice_ , he realised with shock when he heard the words sounding so small and far away. "I'm fine," he tried again a bit louder. "Just, um…listen, can you two go inside here and wait for me for a minute? I've just realised there's something I need to check up on first. Don't worry, we're not in any danger, it's just…" _Just what?_ he asked himself. _How are you going to tell them why a tombstone on a planet where we're pretty much the only people here freaked you out so badly? They know damn well you've seen far worse than that._

"Hang on." Garrett's brow furrowed. "You're the one who keeps telling us how short on time we are. You're the one who's constantly trying to remind us what we came here for in the first place. Fine, that's fair enough. Except that now you're expecting us to wait for you? Seriously, man, what's going on? What's rattled your cage so badly? Why –"

"Look – please!" John's head was spinning by now. "Just go inside and wait for me. I promise there's nothing to worry about and this is not going to take very long. I know perfectly well why we're here, trust me, but I really need to do this. I will try and explain it later, but…look, just go." He swallowed hard. "Please?"

Something of how desperate he was feeling must have come through in his face as well as his words, because the other two suddenly nodded and went into the citadel without any further questions, though they both still looked worried. John sighed, feeling a little bit guilty; he hadn't meant to make them feel bad, but he knew that he had to do this. He had to at least try to work things out and start to properly put his past behind him.

Taking a deep breath, he trudged through the thickening snow to the small grove and knelt down in front of the grave not minding that his clothes were getting wet all over again. He brushed the snow off the stone and traced the words that had been engraved there, his chest constricting more and more with every letter he read. It was almost too painful to breathe by the time he uncovered the last two words.

_Beloved mother._

"I know you probably didn't expect me to come here," he said, the words winging their way through the empty air. "To be honest, I didn't really expect to either. I thought that when I left for the Time Agency, that would be the end of it; I thought that I could just walk away and bury the past in the sand – just forget about everything that had happened. And, for a while, it seemed to be working. I met new people, new aliens, got to know some of them better than others, stopped interstellar wars, started interstellar wars, even accidentally had an entire star system declare a war over me once, though I still maintain that was all a big misunderstanding." He snorted at that memory. "The point is, I was flying high. I was having the time, or times, of my life, quite literally. There was no time to stand still or stop and think, no time to dwell on the past, and I thought that this, finally, was it. That I could let go at last and stop it from hurting. But I went too far. I did some things – not to mention a lot of people – that I'm not proud of, things that would break your heart if you ever found out about them. I caused so much pain to so many people – people I cared about, maybe even loved – and the worst part was that I knew it and a part of me even loved it. I fed off the adrenaline and the power, desperate not to have to stop and think for anything, even though, deep in my heart, I knew that what I was doing was wrong. People tried to stop me, threatened me, even walked away from me and cursed me with all their worth, but none of that stopped me. It just sent me spiralling further down. I got so angry, so full of darkness and hate that I didn't care who got hurt any more and that went on for far longer than I care to admit. I was beyond redemption and, deep down I knew it."

A small smile crossed his face, even as his eyes stung with tears. "I've met someone, you see, and…well, he helped me to turn my life back around. I know it's a cliché, but it's true. It took time, but he had the patience to pull me back out of my darkness and build me back up into the person I was before – the person he made me want to be. I told him so much about who I was, even showed him point blank just how awful I could be, and I thought he'd be disgusted, that he'd run away, but he didn't. Even then, he must have seen something in me, something I didn't realise was there, and he brought it out. Even when things got really tough, he never truly gave up on me. And now," he looked at his wedding band and laughed, "well, I don't know if you'd believe it, even if you saw me now. I've settled down, we've gotten married and I've even become a stepfather to his children. I never would have expected that, even in my wildest dreams, but it's true. I've pinched myself so many times just to make sure it was real. That I possibly could be happy, and find someone to love me, someone who wants to build a life with me, even after everything that I've done. But I have and now, I don't ever want to let him go. God, that sounds so sentimental saying it out loud, but I know it's true. What I've found now is something I didn't even know I was looking for until it was right there in front of me. And…and I wouldn't give it up for all the power in the universe."

He stopped and rubbed his face and when he next spoke, even he was startled by the bitterness of his tone. "But, of course, it turns out I'm going to have to. I don't know when, but…he's ill. Really seriously ill. And I don't know of any possible way that I can help him. I don't even know if there is a way to help him yet. The thing is, though, some days, if you met him, you would never in a million years believe that there was anything wrong. He's just so brave and so cheerful, so full of life, in spite of everything the universe has thrown at him. Some days, when I watch him smile at me and see those eyes shining behind his adorable little glasses, I just wonder…what if it isn't true and we were mistaken? But I know that's wishful thinking, or 'pie in the sky' as he's called it. We weren't mistaken. I saw the medical data for myself and it didn't take a genius to understand what it said."

But even now he could not bring himself to say the words. His throat just closed up when he tried and his chest tightened so much that he almost fell forwards into the snow. "I'm afraid," he finally managed to gasp out, not even caring about the dampness spreading trails over his cheeks. "I don't know what I might do when…when it does eventually happen. I don't want to go back to being the awful person I was before." He choked, remembering that awful night in Pembrokeshire when he had been forced to come face to face with a past that could still bring an icy dagger to his gut. "That…I'm not that person now, not any more, but I know just how easily I could become him again. It started with just one thing last time, and everything fell apart as I watched. If that happens again, if I fall down that black hole again," his voice broke and he choked on his tears, "I don't think there would be anything, or anyone, that could bring me back this time. I know that and it terrifies me, but…I don't know what to do. I don't know how I can stop it from happening."

He bent his head and closed his eyes, his fists clenched against the snow and his harsh sobs ripping through the air. "I want to believe I can do it," he cried out. "I do! But I just don't know if that's enough. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it."

It seemed then that the snow was flickering hotly at him, almost burning underneath him and he blinked in tearful confusion, only for that to immediately turn to horror when he realised that bright white flames were pouring out of his hands and sweeping towards the carefully planted flowers, getting ready to swallow them up and spit them out as piles of ash. He swore loudly and slammed his hands deep into the freezing ground, breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself. It took a long time, but once he felt the fire fade away and retreat back into him, he rushed to put out the rest with handfuls of snow, scattering it everywhere to make sure he did not miss even a single flame. He was all too aware of how insane he could look to anyone who happened to come along, but he did not care. He only knew that he could never allow any harm to come to such a carefully and lovingly placed memorial to someone so cherished, especially not by his own hand.

Fortunately, he had managed to catch the blaze quickly, so it did not do too much damage, but it was still more than enough to leave John shaking. He stared in alarm at his hands and shook his head, letting out a bark of laughter that was not at all amused.

"There we go," he said, his voice still thick with emotion. "I just said that I was afraid that I might not be able to handle myself when the worst does happen, and now here's the proof. Just the thought of losing him makes me lose my grip on myself and that makes me dangerous." He shook his head, feeling lost and helpless. "What the hell am I going to do?"

 _Go and do exactly what you came here to do in the first place,_ answered a sardonic voice in his head. _You said yourself that you came here for a reason, and breaking down like that was not it. The other two are waiting for you, so go on before they come out and find you in this state._

"Right." John let out a ragged sigh and shoved his hand back into his pockets. He was already starting to feel ashamed of his outburst, especially considering that he knew there were more important things to be getting on with. He closed his eyes, took another deep breath and gripped the top of the grave. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I have to go, but…even if I never come here again, even if no one else ever comes here again, I'm glad that someone saw fit to honour your memory. You didn't deserve to be left alone in obscurity after everything you did in your life." He pressed his lips to the top of the marker and then turned and walked away without another word, knowing that if he hung back, not even the thought of going back to Nick would allow him to leave it alone.

As he opened the door to the citadel and stepped inside, he was struck, once again, by how silent it was, as though it had not been inhabited since that fateful day that was forever emblazoned into his mind. Nothing had changed; even the flowers were still blooming and the vines that had been left to their own devices were trailing across the floor, just as they always had done. John looked around him and shivered a little; he felt as though he had just stepped back into a time loop, and he did not like it one little bit. Of course, he was glad to see that the place had not completely fallen into ruins – that would probably have broken his heart – but this just felt extremely unnatural.

He spotted the others after a few minutes and waved to them. "Sorry that took so long," he said, hoping his voice didn't sound too shaky. "Now, let's do this."

Garrett waved his hand. "Err, I'd still rather like to address the animal of pachyderm variety in the room," he said. "You've still not told us why we've come all this way for a Christmas tree, rather than just going down the road and buying one at home, like we always do."

"Because," said John, as steadily as he could," that is _exactly_ what we always do. If this Christmas really is going to be Nick's last – and I am still hoping it won't be – then no way are we going to do what we do every year. I want to make sure that it's the best Christmas he's ever had – and that includes a very special tree." He swallowed hard. "And, believe me, these trees are very special. They've been hand-reared from saplings, cared for and loved, just as if they were part of the family. Even once Christmas is over, you can plant it in your garden and it will look as green and beautiful as it always has. Trust me on this."

"Sometimes I'm sure you missed your calling as a botanist," chuckled Garrett, apparently not noticing John's breath hitch in response. "I'm not sure I've ever known someone this fascinated by alien plants – and that includes Jack when he's having fun in the hothouse."

John nodded and smiled weakly. _You have no idea…_

Emily, who had wandered on a bit further, suddenly cleared her throat. "Hey, I think you might want to come over here," she said, beckoning to them. Exchanging puzzled looks, the two men nodded and followed her. Surreptitiously, John placed his hand on his gun, looking around for any signs of trouble – only to stop dead in his tracks as he joined her. He vaguely noted Garrett yelping indignantly as he bumped into him, but ignored him in favour of trying to comprehend what he was seeing.

An enormous tree, almost weighed down by heavy boughs dripping with fresh-smelling green needles, had been expertly planted in a large and intricately decorated red and gold pot. Looking closely, John could see that the reds were painted in different shades, apparently to mimic the evening sky, and what he had taken to be large golden birds were in fact dragons flying towards a setting sun. Even more confusingly, nearby were hundreds of small transparent tubes filled with water and containing bright flowers in every colour anyone could possibly think of, all of them looking as fresh and colourful as if they had only been picked in that moment. There were flowers that were familiar to everyone there, such as bright Christmas roses and pink gerbera, but there were also several alien ones, including the beautiful warm hues of the famous golden lavender that had always held such a prized place in John's memories.

"How?" John cleared his throat. "No one but us has been here for years…how is this possible? Did either of you see anyone, or anything?"

"Not a soul," Emily replied. "But, well, this was left on the pot." She handed John a small scroll wrapped tightly with a black velvet ribbon and waited as he opened it. "What does it say?"

"It…just says 'Make it count.'" John frowned. "Nothing else. Just that. No signature, no initial, no marks of identification – just 'make it count'."

"What does that mean?" asked Garrett.

"I have no idea." John rolled the scroll back up and stared at the tree. "I never once detected anything nasty around here, but this is definitely strange. It's like someone knew that we were coming. But…but no one's been here since –" but he cut himself off, not wanting to go down that road. "Mind you, it also seems as though we were meant to find this, so I guess it doesn't make much sense to look a gift horse in the mouth, and it really is an amazing tree."

Emily agreed readily, but Garrett was frowning. "Am I the only one seeing a pretty big problem here?" he asked. "Namely that, as beautiful as it is, the tree is at least ten feet tall and we've only got this," he motioned to the battered grey rucksack he was carrying, "to get everything home in. There's just no way we're going to be able to bring all this stuff home, unless this bag turns out to be basically a portable TARDIS. It's not, is it?"

"No, it isn't, however," John pulled off his vortex manipulator and scanned the tree with it, grinning as it shrunk to roughly the size of a medium-sized pepper pot. "Here," he said, presenting it to a clearly astounded Garrett. "What? have you never seen the shrinking function on a vortex manipulator used before? Anyway, never mind that, it's time to go home."

Once they were all back outside, John entered in the co-ordinates that would take them back to Cardiff, pausing only to take one last look at the horizon he had always known so well. His heart clenched once more at the sight of the familiar long stretch of the sea and then, right in the far distance, the tiny shimmering lights that people said came from the Boeshane Peninsula. He took a long time, allowing himself to commit the image to memory and knowing that he would never see it again.

 _I'll never forget you either_ , he thought, his eyes flickering back to the grave, which seemed to shine right back at him, as though it was watching him. But he didn't say a word to anyone, only made sure that Garrett and Emily were each holding on tightly to him, and pressed the transporter button, gasping as they disappeared in amongst a whirl of snowflakes.

Jack laughed as he helped the returnees to their feet. "You never were very good with landings, John," he remarked. "Still, you got to the right place and back home on the same day, which is an improvement on a few people who I could mention."

"Oh, shut up," retorted John, though he could not quite hold back a smile. "Everything go all right here? Didn't miss the end of the world?"

"Absolutely fine." Ianto appeared from underneath the information desk. "We took Nick to do some shopping and then he went over to see Cat and the kids. He said that he might stay there overnight if that wasn't a problem for anyone."

"Of course it isn't." Granted, John was a little disappointed that Nick wouldn't be at home to greet him, but he knew it would be churlish to point that out. He was only too aware that his husband wanted to spend some time with his family while he still had the chance. After all, he realised, Nick had lost a lot of time with his own father and had never had the chance to make it up; clearly there was no way he was going to let the same thing happen with his own children, biological or otherwise.

He shook his head when Jack suggested they all go out for a few drinks. "I'm a little tired," he admitted. "Besides, there's precious cargo in here that needs to be taken home, so…better get on with it." With a wink, he patted the rucksack and made his way back towards the city centre, pausing occasionally to look up at the sky and smile sadly at the stars twinkling above him.

* * *

_Next Time: Christmas Day is here at last! But will it be a bittersweet one for our beloved couple?_


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s Christmas Day for the Hart-Jones family and their loved ones.

_25_ _th_ _December 2013…_

It wasn't quite light when John woke up, but even so he did not dare open the curtains or turn on the light. Nick was now curled up and peacefully asleep beside him, but that had not been the case during the night when he had woken up no less than five times with crippling, almost nausea inducing headaches. While he had not actually been physically sick, it had been horrible for John to have to feel him shivering beside him, even underneath the mountain of warm blankets he had cocooned him in, not to mention having to hear him groaning and whimpering every time the agony hit him again.

Mercifully, he had ended up falling asleep shortly after four in the morning and had not woken up since. Bending over the side of the bed and turning on the small light on his watch, John grimaced when he saw that it was only just gone seven, meaning that Nick had only been properly resting for a little over three hours. While he knew that Nick could – and, in the past, had – managed to function very well on very little sleep (working as a doctor and having small children had made sure of that, even if university hadn't), John had no intention of waking him up until it was at least fully light outside. Aside from anything else, Jack had insisted that the two of them take the day off work and enjoy Christmas together, just as a couple. Needless to say, Nick had fiercely protested, telling them that his sister and the children would also be coming over for dinner and it would be ridiculous to not have Jack and Ianto join them as well. At the time, John had thought that this seemed reasonable – as had Jack, once he had been convinced that Catrin would be doing all the cooking at least – but after the night before, he wasn't so sure. Still, he knew better than to change plans without discussing them with Nick first.

 _At any rate,_ he thought as he quietly clambered out of bed, stumbled into his clothes, and tiptoed down the stairs, _I still have a rather large job to do here._

He turned off the alarm quickly before the noise could increase to its usual ear-splitting levels, and poked his head into the conservatory where he noted that everything that should be asleep was asleep, the tails of and wings of the aatiae flapping a little as they dozed. Relieved, John slipped out and through to the sitting room.

He opened the lid of the window seat and carefully pulled out the boxes he had stored in there over a week ago including the old grey rucksack, which he unzipped and extracted the flowers and the shrunken tree out of. To his relief, he could see that the precautions that had been taken to ensure that the plants stayed healthy regardless of the conditions had done their job; the flowers were just as bright as before and the tree, even in its miniature size, still held that rich green colour and the warm and earthen scent that could transport John back to his younger years in almost an instant. Satisfied, he scanned the room with a slightly furrowed brow before eventually deciding that the best place for it was beside the large fireplace where anyone would be able to see it in all its glory, regardless of where in the room they were, and enlarging it back to its actual enormous size.

"Perfect," he whispered, and indeed it did look that way. Very carefully, he dressed it, starting with the old decorations Ianto had spent almost two days helping hum search through the family's old tailor's shop to find, knowing just how special they were, especially this year. He chose, however, to leave the large gold star that was meant to sit on the top of the tree alone for now, wanting to give Nick that particular honour as was apparently the family tradition. Admittedly, at first John had not had the slightest idea why this was so important to his husband, believing that it was simply because he was the only one who had ever managed to get the thing in place properly and not have it tilting to the side or falling off all the time. However, Catrin, who had also come to help, had explained that, while it was true that no one else could ever manage to get the star on properly, there was more to it than that. Apparently, one of the last happy memories the siblings had of their childhood was of Christmas with their parents before the messy divorce and the breaking apart of their small family. Nick's father, Catrin had said, had picked up his then toddler-aged son and lifting him onto his shoulders to place the large star on top of the tree, which Nick had done with the utmost precision. Their mother had then come over with Catrin in her arms and had hugged her husband and son tightly while Ianto's father had taken a photograph of the young family. Privately, John was a little surprised that Nick was even able to remember that far back, but he had known better than to say so and had simply decided to go with the flow.

How long he worked on making the tree perfect, he was not sure, but as he was laying the final sprig of golden lavender in place, he became aware that the sun was starting to pierce through the curtains and bathe the room in the crisp light of a winter's morning. He smiled and opened the curtains to look outside, almost expecting the ground to be white with Christmas morning snow, but of course it wasn't. Apart from Nick's first Christmas working at Torchwood, John could not think of a time in recent memory when there had been snow here at this time of year – and his definition of recent memory was a little longer than everyone else's, possibly apart from Jack's.

"You've been listening to a little too much Bing Crosby this month," he chastised himself. "It's given you some unrealistic expectations." It was true, he supposed; that song combined with the cold weather and the wintery scenes everywhere had somehow drawn him into the illusion that, this year, there would be a white Christmas. But, white or not, he knew that he could definitely make the day special, and now was the time to reveal just how special it was going to be.

Humming a jaunty carol under his breath, he crept back upstairs and into the bedroom, where Nick was still fast asleep, his long red hair almost covering his face. He mumbled something under his breath and shuffled further under the covers, a soft purring breath escaping him. He looked so relaxed and peaceful that John almost didn't want to wake him, but he knew from experience that Nick would be less than thrilled if he was left to sleep all day when he could have been doing something fun or useful. So, he moved closer and bent over the bed to gently kiss him awake. "Happy Christmas, sleepyhead."

"Bah humbug." Nick grunted, but sat up, a small smile on his face and his eyes sparkling. "Bloody hell. You're already dressed – what time is it?"

"Oh, don't worry, it's still morning," said John airily. "I've just been up for a little while doing – well, actually, why don't you come and see?"

Nick raised an amused eyebrow. "I feel as if I should ask you what you've done this time," he joked, but he scrambled out of bed and reached for his glasses. "Well, let's go and find out then."

Downstairs, John turned back to face him. "Before we go in –"

"Are you about to ask me to close my eyes?" asked Nick with a laugh.

"What? No, this is the part where I need to tell you something." John cleared his throat. "Nick, I know we've not quite been married for six months yet and those months haven't quite turned out how we would have hoped they would, but I would not change them for the world. You have…well, to be honest, you have just changed and enriched my life so much that I can't imagine not having you in it anymore." _And I wish every day that I didn't have to._ "I don't know what is going to come in the future, or how much time we have left. But I do know that I want to make the very most of it and make every day we have together happy and special for you – just as you have done for me." His voice cracked a little on the last few words and he found himself holding Nick's hands just a little bit tighter.

Nick's mouth opened a little. "Wow," he whispered. "I…you know you don't have to prove anything to me, right? Least of all your love. I know how much I mean to you, and I always have. As for the future, well, we might not have the forever that we dreamed of when we got married, but then again, we just might. We could wake up tomorrow and find out that I'm going to end up making an unexpected full recovery and we'll be able to have that time together that we've always wanted. I'm not giving up hope, John – and neither should you, because we just don't know what could happen. Shit, I could die putting bread in the toaster this morning, or I could be strangled by the latest alien invader – there's no way for us to know. And I, for one, do not want to waste a moment of our lives together worrying about something that might never happen. Do you?"

*"No," John shook his head, leaning forwards and resting his forehead lightly against Nick's. "No, I definitely don't want that." He ignored the little voice in his head that said the end was going to come no matter what happened. He knew he wasn't ready to deal with that, especially not now. "Anyway," he added, his lips brushing Nick's ear, "you were right about one thing. I do want you to close your eyes." He told himself that this sudden change of mind was just because of the surprise and had nothing to do with not wanting Nick to see how lost and worried he truly felt. "Come on," he whispered, taking his husband's hand and leading him into the sitting room.

"I feel a bit like Belle right now," chuckled Nick. "You've not hidden a secret library in here, have you?"

"I think one is more than enough in this house, even for both of us." John winked, rather pointlessly since Nick couldn't see him, and went to turn on the tree lights. "Okay," he said, coming back to wrap his arms around Nick's waist and kiss the back of his neck, "open your eyes."

Chuckling a little, Nick did so. "Oh…oh my god!" He turned around, his eyes wide with shock. "I don't think I've ever seen such an incredible tree in all my life. Where did you find it? And _how_ did you manage to keep it hidden?"

"Well, the decorations were found courtesy of your cousin and your sister," replied John. "But the tree and the flowers…well, they came from a little further afield." He smiled sadly at the confused look on Nick's face. "Do you remember that I told you that my mother was a botanist when she was alive?"

"Yes, you said – wait." Nick's mouth opened. "Are you telling me…do you mean _this tree_ , this one right here, is one of her trees? And these are her flowers? Like, that she actually grew herself?"

"Yep. I went back to my home planet to get them." A slightly wry laugh escaped his lips as he stroked his finger over one of the petals. "It hasn't changed at all, really." He decided that he was not going to mention the unexpected memorial to his mother. It was a bit too morbid for this moment. "Oh, and by the way, it turns out that you actually can see Boeshane on a clear day."

"Why though?" asked Nick. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and I love that you did all of this, but…you went back to a place that gave you nothing but pain and suffering for so many years, so much so that you ran away to join what was probably the most dangerous organisation in the universe. And you went back to get a tree. Why?"

John nodded. He had expected Nick to ask that question since he knew more of his history than anyone else – apart, possibly, from Jack – and, unlike Garrett and Emily, he would definitely not be satisfied with John telling him he simply wanted to make this Christmas truly memorable for him, even though that was definitely part of the reason.

"My family lived there for centuries before I was born," he said quietly. "They were happy there before…before it happened. I was happy there too. And, yeah, things did change, and they changed a lot, but it didn't mean that the good times were completely forgotten, not at all. I wanted to remember my mother and to bring a little piece of her back here – something from my old home to my new home. And," he paused and swallowed, "I wanted to, somehow, bring her to you too, but I knew that there was no way I could take you there. So…"

"So you brought a little bit of your family here." Nick's eyes softened. "That makes sense. You wanted to have this chance to acknowledge your mother and her genius and show me how much you love her while still doing something incredibly special for Christmas." He took John's hand and pulled him close for a hug. "It can't have been easy for you though, going back and reliving everything all over again."

"No, it wasn't," admitted John. "It hurt like crazy to see it all again, especially seeing how little everything had changed; I kept thinking she was going to come round the corner with her arms full of the latest flowers." He blinked away a few tears and breathed out. "But do you know what? I would do it all a thousand times over if it meant being able to see your face light up like that again."

Nick smiled and blushed. "Well, I love it."

After a Christmas morning fry-up, Nick wandered off to get dressed and then said he wanted to get everything set up for the afternoon. Of course, John had not realised that, by 'everything', Nick had meant that he had taken the responsibility for Christmas dinner out of Catrin's hands – though she had apparently insisted on bringing the meat – and was nonchalantly preparing to do it himself, including a large chocolate Yule log for dessert.

"Hey, you're not the only one who wanted to make today special," he said with a shrug when John brought this up. "And it's only fair that I do the cooking for once when Cat does it pretty much every year. She's going to have her hands full enough with three over-excited children, she didn't need the extra hassle of cooking our dinner as well." He waved a spoon at John. "And before you say she could just get her husband to do it – look, I love him, but David can barely even boil an egg. Did you know he once managed to burn _pasta_?"

"No, I didn't," said John slowly. "And while that is quite an achievement, you were under strict instructions from Jack to take it easy today. If he finds out that you've been charging around like this, he's going to strangle you."

"So what? He's not my boss." Nick stopped and held up his hand. "No, don't say anything, I just heard it myself. What I meant was, he can't exactly stop me from helping out my sister and being a good host. I said the same thing to her, for goodness sake, and she still grumbled that I was trying to do too much, even when I let her bring the bird herself."

"Maybe she's right, though," said John carefully. "No – Nick, listen to me. You were really unwell last night and you've barely had any sleep at all. Are you completely sure it's a good idea to have everyone around today? Because I can call them and tell them not to come if you want me to."

He almost backed away then, as the look Nick gave him in response could have curdled milk. "I am completely sure," he said calmly. "Today is a day to be with your loved ones, after all. Yes, last night was unpleasant, to say the least, but honestly, I feel much better now." He put down the spoon and sighed. "Look, if it makes you feel any better, I promise that once all this is prepared, I will take it easy and let you deal with all of the rest of the cooking. Deal?"

John sighed. "Fine. Deal. But you know it's not going to stop me from wanting to wrap you up in cotton wool, don't you?"

"Of course I know that. Just like you know that I'll be doing the same thing, regardless of the fact that you won't stay dead, whatever happens to you." He smiled and tapped John on the nose. "But would you really have me any other way?"

"Well, maybe I'd like you to have slightly better self-preservation skills," answered John, but he grinned to take the sting out of it. "But, other than that, no I wouldn't."

"That is the right answer," chuckled Nick. The doorbell rang. "Oh, there's Cat and David right now." He bumped John's hip playfully as he sashayed out of the door.

John barely had time to roll his eyes at his husband's antics before a small red-headed whirlwind came rushing in, squealing in excitement. Behind him, John saw David coming in armed with an enormous platter which he placed on the worktop with a groan.

"Don't ask," he muttered, peeling away the foil. "Apparently, a girl at Estelle's school said that she was having a three-bird roast for Christmas, and she got really excited and insisted that we try it too."

"Huh." John eyed the platter. "So, we're having lesbian fowl then?" he quipped, rolling his eyes when David groaned. "Oh, come on, you should have seen that coming." He clamped down hard on the other obvious joke that comment could lead to. "But, really, why did you let a four-year-old decide what is probably one of the biggest meals of the year?"

"She then told Trev," said David, as if that was the only explanation that was needed. "Anyway, do you happen to have any idea how to actually cook this thing?"

"Nope. But I think the Internet will."

Meanwhile, Catrin was lecturing Nick about his decision to take over so much on the day. "You know you're meant to be resting!" she scolded him indignantly. "It's bad enough that you were giving yourself grief about not getting a tree – though it looks like your husband was more than capable of sorting that out himself – but now you're just being ridiculous!"

"Or I just wanted to take the burden off your shoulders for once and give you a relaxing Christmas," retorted Nick, who had his niece on his lap and was helping her play with a book. "Cat, really, whatever you're planning to say to me, I've already heard it all from John. And, to be honest, if I end up just sitting around and being good, we both know that I will just drive myself, and everyone around me, up the wall. You know as well as I do that I don't do well when I'm stuck sitting still and resting, even when I've got a book in my hand. That is not going to change now, even though I'm not well, and we all know that. Please, just let me live my life while I still have the chance. And that goes for you too!" he shouted to John, who blushed and returned to the cooking instructions he had been looking at.

Catrin groaned. "You doctors really do make the worst patients!" she snapped before squeezing her brother tightly and storming into the kitchen.

David shook his head. "He's your brother, love. However," he nudged John with his foot, "he's also your husband."

"Oh, hell no." John shook his head when Catrin turned her pleading eyes to him. "No. No way. If I have to have a pissed off redhead on my hands, I'll take my chances with a pissed off sister-in-law over a pissed off husband." He dried off his hands and dumped a bowlful of parsnips in the sink. "Look, Cat, what are you actually hoping to achieve? You shut him up and take away any stress from his life, and then what? You'll come in one day and he's miraculously recovered, 'cos we both know that's not going to happen. I want him to be okay just as much as you do, but I've realised that hovering over him and being a mother hen is not the right way to do it. All it's going to achieve is him getting irritable and stressed because he can't do anything, and that's going to be just as detrimental to his health as running around and over-exerting himself is."

"So…what?" Catrin folded her arms. "Are you suggesting we just don't say anything and let him run himself into the ground?"

"Of course not. I'm suggesting that we treat him like the grown man he is and let him look after himself. He's not stupid, he knows his own limits and we need to trust that he won't exceed them."

"For your sake as much as for his," interjected David. "Constantly trying to keep an eye on him and monitor his every move is just going to drive you crazy and, ultimately, run the risk of you damaging your relationship with your brother, possibly for good. I know that isn't what you want, is it?"

"No," Catrin admitted. "I just want him to take care of himself."

Later, when the food was all in the oven and Catrin and David were keeping the children busy, Nick slipped over to John, pulled him close and kissed him. "Thank you?"

"For…for what?" asked John.

"Getting Cat to back off. I love my sister, of course I do, but I'm old enough and stupid enough to decide for myself what my body can handle."

John shrugged. "Exactly. Though I'd dispute you calling yourself stupid."

* * *

_Later that evening…_

"Well, I have to admit it," yawned John from where he was sprawled out on the sofa, "that was one heck of a Christmas dinner."

"It definitely beats last year," agreed Jack. "Two day old Indian takeaway while on a late shift at work just doesn't have the right ring to it."

"Need I remind you that you were the one who decided you had to spend the night at work rather than coming out and having fun." Ianto playfully flicked a scrap of wrapping paper in his direction. "But you're right, that was a great dinner." He ruffled little Estelle's brown curls. "Looks like you do have decent taste, lass."

Nick looked up from where he was lying in John's lap. "Pretty filling taste, though," he said, bending down to kiss the top of his daughter's head. "Anyway," he added, squinting at the cracker joke in his hands, "Why didn't anyone bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay?"

"Because Rudolph the red knows rain, dear, and with rain comes a Blitz-ton of thunder?" yawned David. He shrugged when everyone stared at him. "What? It's possible."

Nick's mouth twitched. "That's almost better than the actual answer, if only for the pun value. But no – because they were two deer." He grimaced. "Wow. These really are getting worse and worse every year." He scrunched the paper up into a ball and aimed it across the room, where it hit Jack on the nose to loud cheering and laughter. "Hey, I was aiming for Ianto!" he pouted, rolling his eyes when his cousin stuck his tongue out at him.

Jack laughed and got up as the doorbell rang. Meanwhile, Trev had bounded up to Nick waving the thousand piece Pokémon jigsaw puzzle he had just opened. "Come on, Daddy!"

"Yes, Daddy, time to step up," agreed Ianto. "Hey, you chose it for him, it's only fair that you help him put it together."

John smiled as he watched Nick chuckle and help his little boy set out the pieces on the table, both of them with matching looks of concentration as they arranged them into the shape of the puzzle. "Hey, old man," he said, craning his neck as Jack came back in, "come and help out, we all know you…love jigsaws…" He trailed off when he saw who was stood behind Jack, his hands in his pockets and a decidedly uncomfortable look on his face.

"Nick," Jack said carefully, "you and John are both needed for a minute."

"What for?" Nick turned around and his mouth fell open when he saw who else was there. "Sam!" He scrambled to his feet, grabbing onto the sofa to steady himself. "What – is everything okay? Is it Killian?"

"Can we talk in private?" Sam asked carefully. "I didn't mean to barge in like this, but it's important. I," he paused, visibly scowled and then mumbled, "I need your help."

John would have dearly loved to reply scathingly, but at a warning glare from Jack, he got up and followed the other two into the kitchen, closing the door behind them. "All right, he said, taking his place beside Nick and wrapping his arm protectively around his waist. "Spit it out then."

He almost felt bad for being rude when he saw the disapproving look Nick fired at him, but if Sam was discomfited he didn't show it. "When you told us about…well, you know," he said, his eyes fixed on the festive cards adorning the back wall, "you said that there was an option to speak to a counsellor if we felt we needed it. Well," he shuffled from foot to foot," I think it's needed now."

John nodded and kept his face carefully impassive, but inside he was seething. He had not forgotten how Sam had lashed out the last time they had met and, while he understood that he wanted to protect his own partner, that did not give him the right, in John's opinion, to react the way he had. In all honesty, he wanted nothing more than to send Sam off with some equally sharp words, but he knew that he couldn't. They had offered to help at the time and it would have been cruel to go back on that.

"Okay," he said, his teeth gritted. "Well, tell Ryan to get in touch with us as soon as possible and we can have a word with Emily then."

"How bad has it been?" asked Nick quietly.

Sam shot him a truly venomous look and John tensed, thinking that an argument was about to break out, but then the Scotsman's shoulders just dropped. "Bad doesn't even begin to cover it," he said. "He's not sleeping, he's out walking all the time and he's jumping every time there's even a tiny noise. It's completely fucked up his life. I've tried talking to him, but he just won't let me in. Honestly, I'm at my wit's end here and I just don't know how to help him."

 _Sounds like you're thinking a lot more about how this affects you than about how it's hurting him._ John decided to keep that uncharitable thought to himself and simply said, "We'll do what we can for him. But, Sam, you have to understand that counselling is never a guaranteed cure. Of course, it can help immensely, but there has to be effort from Ryan too. If he can't let himself open up and just keeps shutting everyone out, then it's just going to end up being a waste of Em's time and of his as well. So, I need to know – are you sure he's prepared to do this?"

"I think it's gotten to the point where he has to be," answered Sam, still refusing to meet John's eyes. "This isn't just affecting him now – we've got Killian to think about as well and he has definitely noticed that something's wrong."

"Well, I think we need to know for certain that Ryan is on board with this first," said John. "And the first step to doing that is for someone else – you, me or Nick for instance – to sit down with him and tell him that these are his options." He stepped forward and fixed Sam with a hard look. "Can you say, with absolute certainty, that he would at least be prepared to do that? Because, judging by the fact that it's you here and not him – wait." He frowned as a thought occurred to him. "Ryan doesn't know you're here, does he?"

Sam didn't say a word, but the clenching of his jaw was all the confirmation that John needed. "I thought as much," he said. "Sam, it's all very well and good that you want to help Ryan, but you know you can't go behind his back like this. Be there for him, absolutely, but if he wants this kind of help, he needs to be able to ask for it himself."

"It's true," agreed Nick, apparently sensing that Sam wasn't impressed by that. "No, it's not an easy thing to do, I know that only too well. But it's also the first step towards healing from this."

Sam looked at him, his face almost curious. "How did you deal with it?" His tone still held a measure of hostility and lingering anger, but his posture had relaxed almost imperceptibly. "I mean…how did you cope with what happened – what you saw and what you found out?"

It was the first time that Sam had properly acknowledged that Nick had actually been there in the middle of the battle, and it was this that finally made John's tension ease slightly, though he kept a sharp eye on him all the same.

For his part, Nick was chewing his lip and frowning, apparently deep in thought about how to answer Sam's questions.

"I don't know," he said slowly, as though he was weighing every word. "I suppose I just started out by telling myself that if Ianto could survive losing people he'd worked with and called friends and stay sane, then surely I could do it too. I put all my energy and focus into my job and taking care of my family."

"But why were you even there in the first place?"

"I…needed to get away for a bit and, well, I missed Ianto. So, yeah, I decided I should go and see him." He smiled wryly. "But anyway, after a while, I realised that trying to bottle everything up like that was just going to end up being a recipe for disaster. You can't hope to be a support to anyone if you don't confront your own issues as well."

"So how did you?" Sam's gaze had softened even more by now. "I'm guessing Torchwood weren't exactly thrilled about the fact that you knew about them and I bet they didn't have a counsellor on hand back then like they do now."

"No, they weren't. And no, they didn't. But I had Ianto. I realised that, just as I was his support, I needed him to be mine. We needed to talk things through together. But I also knew that I had to talk to him and ask for it. That, I admit, wasn't easy, but once I did ask…well, I won't say that everything was fine, but it was definitely a start."

"The thing is," interjected John, "we can offer Ryan all the help he needs, but he has to be ready to accept it. Until he's in a place where he's comfortable with that, there's nothing we can do."

Sam threw his hands into the air. "So, what do you expect me to do?" he snapped. "Drag him out of the house and force him to –"

"Definitely not," interrupted Nick. "Even if that was a recommended method, you know as well as I do how badly he'd react to that. No, you need to tell him that you've been to see us and you're worried. And, most importantly, do _not_ let him get away with lying and telling you that he's fine. He needs to deal with this, otherwise it's going to ruin his life more than it already has. Tell him that, while you want to be there for him and that you love him, you can't become his life support."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning you can't be the only person he relies on to get through each day. That's not healthy for either of you. And, if he's honest with himself, Ryan will know that."

"Okay." Sam nodded and made to leave the room. He had his hand on the doorknob when he stopped and turned. "Actually, can I just have a quick chat with Nick first? In private?"

Immediately, John's guard went up again. "Surely, anything you need to say to him can be said in front of me, can't it?" After the last time, he was definitely not thrilled with leaving Nick alone with the other man, even if it was only briefly.

Apparently, Sam had noticed that too. "I'm not going to eat him," he said a little testily. "I just need a minute with him."

Nick eyed him for a minute before he nodded. "Okay. Let's go outside."

John took him aside to stop him following. "Are you really sure about this? I don't trust him with you after what happened before."

"What?!" Nick burst out laughing. "You are kidding me, right? Come on, that's ridiculous. I admit, Sam's feisty and blunt, but he's also completely harmless. Honestly."

"He wasn't so harmless when he said those awful things to you!" shot back John. "I saw how much he hurt you and, quite frankly, I might never forgive him for giving you all that extra stress."

"And he might never forgive me for jumping in and deciding to tell Ryan about all this without talking to him first," replied Nick calmly. "Either way, I can handle him. Go back and join the others. I promise I won't be too long."

"But –"

"It's really fine, John. Go back in and maybe help Trev with his jigsaw until I get back. And, really, try to stop worrying just for one day."

"I'm never going to stop worrying about you," muttered John, but he managed not to follow Nick and Sam outside, though it took an enormous effort. With a sigh, he went back to the others and dropped down onto the sofa with a small groan.

"Woah," said David, raising an amused eyebrow. "That must have been a pretty intense conversation to make you react like that on Christmas Day."

"Intense would be one word for it, yes." _Another might be 'utterly fucking shit', but there are little ears listening in._

Jack leaned over, a serious look in his eyes. "Is it bad?"

"I'd tell Em to be ready for a call pretty soon," replied John grimly and hastily outlined the conversation to his friend. "And, to make things worse, I think Nick is becoming convinced he made a mistake telling them about it in the first place."

Jack seemed to be considering that for a while. "To be honest, I don't know that there was much else he could have done. There was always a very high chance that Ryan would react badly, but I think that if he found some other way then it would have been so much worse." He sipped his drink delicately. "Also, he made the right call to tell Sam as well; Ryan should not have had to deal with all that on his own."

"Keeping partners out of the loop has never seemed to go well for us, quite frankly," murmured Ianto from his place beside Jack. "Maybe Nick could have discussed it with Sam first, but then we'd have had a similar situation except in reverse."

"Do you think Sam would have felt obliged to tell Ryan in that case?" asked Jack.

John shrugged. "I don't know. I barely know the man, but I can tell that he's extremely protective of Ryan, so he might have kept it from him because he didn't want to hurt him. Though, I'm not sure that would have been a much better idea."

Ianto shook his head. "Ryan isn't stupid and Sam is more transparent than Waterford Crystal. He'd have noticed in a split second that something was being kept from him and then Sam would definitely have been forced to tell him."

"And that would not have ended well," Jack conceded.

"About as well as it did when you found out about Lisa," confirmed Ianto. "Well, maybe with slightly less barbecue sauce," he added with a small chuckle.

At that moment, the sitting room door opened and Sam poked his head in. "Hi," he said cautiously. "I'm off now, so I just wanted to say have a great Christmas and a happy New Year."

"Where's Nick?" asked John, starting to his feet.

"Right here." The aforementioned redhead appeared in the doorway as well. "I'll just see Sam out." He shot John a sharp look, apparently indicating that everything was fine and there was no need for him to come out and hover.

John, however, was not deterred and slipped after them when Nick had disappeared into the hall. He knew he would pay for that if he got caught, but he didn't care; he had to look out for his husband and he was worried that Sam would lose his temper again.

He watched the two men talking quietly to each other, though he could not hear what was being said. When Sam moved closer to Nick, however, John's protective instincts surged and he almost rushed in to push the shorter man away, but caught himself just in time when the pair merely exchanged a short and rather awkward hug. In fairness, Sam did seem calmer and more mellow now, but that did not stop John being incredibly relieved when he nodded and left, though his stomach dropped a little when he saw Nick lean against the wall, clearly exhausted, and cover his face with a trembling hand.

A small gasp from behind him made him look around to see Ianto watching the scene his eyes wide with shock. He nodded. "You noticed it too, huh?"

"He looks so tired," Ianto whispered back.

"I know. I thought it was just because he had a really rough night, and it might still be, but," he shook his head and sighed. "I don't know right now, Ianto. I just don't know."

"He certainly didn't need that front row seat to Sam and Ryan's drama as well." Ianto ran his fingers through his hair. "Yes, he did the right thing, but just look at him now. He's tiring out so quickly and I'm sure that's at least partially down to them."

"Yeah, he is. And that scares me." John sighed. "Ianto…we had all these plans for our future. We were going to travel, see some of the most wonderful sights in the universe, help save people where we could. As daft as it sounds, we could've gotten a little holiday place somewhere beautiful that the kids would love. I could have taken him anywhere, to meet anyone he could have possibly wanted to, and now," he wiped his eyes. "All that's gone, or it's fading away. And I know that Nick will deny it with his last breath, but…day by day, I can just feel our life together slipping through my fingers."

* * *

_Next Time: It becomes more clear that things are going to have to change for Nick, but how is he going to react to that?_


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and John realise that Nick has to take things more slowly. Nick, of course, does not take this well.

* * *

_12_ _th_ _March 2014…_

When he looked back over the last few months, John knew that he would realise that his words to Ianto at Christmas would turn out to be grimly accurate. Of course, since that Halloween afternoon when Nick's illnesses had first been diagnosed, he had known that the plans for the future would have to change – aside from anything else, their life together had almost certainly gotten a lot shorter – but he would have been lying to himself if he said that he was prepared for it, or that he had expected it all to happen so quickly. They hadn't been given a timeline at the time, so it had seemed perfectly feasible for John, and probably for Nick, to assume that they had, if not for ever, then at least a few years, and at first he had seen no reason to change his mind.

Part of that, he knew, was down to Nick's fierce stubbornness and the fiery belligerence that everyone said was so typical of redheads. Of course, everyone knew that Nick hated to be coddled, but the way that he had gritted his teeth and gotten on with things had shocked them all. He had insisted furiously on being treated as though everything was normal, not like he was made of bone china. He had maintained his humour and his dry sarcasm, and stayed so strong and unafraid that John had often wondered if Nick truly understood that he had an eventual, and very real, death sentence looming over his head. He had not asked him this, though; he knew that it would just cause him extra pointless stress on top of working for an organisation which a lot of people would call a death sentence, and, in all honesty, he had not wanted to think about the possibility either.

But now, it was starting to look more and more like he had to. He could no longer deny that, while Nick's grit and strength of character was something John loved about him, he was definitely starting to fade and grow weaker by the day. He kept a smile on his face and a cheeky joke or two on hand when he ended up patching up their teammates after their various escapades, but John could see the exhaustion in his body every time they left work at night and he felt Nick's warm weight leaning on him by the time they arrived at home.

A hand on his shoulder snapped him out of his maudlin thoughts and he turned around, only to find himself face to face with Jack's serious gaze. He gulped. "Wow, someone's obviously in boss mode today," he tried to joke, but backed away when Jack only scowled at him. "Okay, whatever the latest catastrophe is, it's got nothing to do with me, I promise."

"Find Nick," said Jack stiffly. "We need to talk." He swept off back to his office, pausing only to exchange a significant look with Ianto, who nodded a little sadly.

John couldn't help but roll his eyes. _Honestly, Jack, has no one ever told you that ending a conversation with those four words is_ never _a good idea?_ Still, something in the older man's manner was setting off alarm bells, so he decided not to waste any time and found his husband with Matt in the shooting range, apparently discussing some sort of new weaponry. At any other time, John would have been chomping at the bit to join in and explore, but he knew that now was not the time. He cleared his throat audibly to announce himself – experience had taught him that startling someone holding a weapon was a very stupid thing to do – and stepped into the room.

"Sorry to interrupt what honestly does look like a fascinating conversation." He held up a hand to stop Matt from trying to explain, not wanting to get distracted. "Tell me later. Nick, Jack wants us."

"What for?" asked Nick, frowning.

"Don't know, he was looking pretty grim though."

"Okay." Nick passed the device he was holding back to Matt and followed John back up the stairs. "What does Jack want?"

John stopped and tilted his head. "You just asked me that, love. I said I didn't know, but it didn't look like anything good."

"Oh." Suddenly, Nick gasped and pressed his hands to his forehead, closing his eyes tightly. "Aw, shit…"

"Woah." John caught his arm and pulled him close. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." It sounded as though Nick's teeth were gritted. "Just a bit of a headache." He blinked a few times and straightened up again. "Really, I'm fine."

Jack was waiting for them outside his office and quickly ushered them in and closed the door. "Okay, just to reassure you now, neither of you are in any trouble," he said. "Well, unless one of you did decide to feed popping candy to Janet earlier today, in which case –"

"Oh, stop it." John knew a stalling tactic when he saw one. "You obviously called us here for a reason that's more serious than a sugar high Weevil, so just get to the point." It just so happened that he knew perfectly well who had been responsible for that little situation, but he was certainly not planning on grassing them up.

"Well?" he said when Jack seemed no closer to saying anything." Are you going to just make us stand here all day and wait for you to find your voice?"

"Has something happened?" asked Nick. "Is everything okay with you and Ianto."

John stared. "Okay, Jack. I love you – not like that – but if you've brought us here to moan about your love life, then I promise I am going to –"

"Will you give it a rest?" snapped Jack. "It's nothing to do with Ianto. It's…" he sat down heavily at his desk. "Okay. There's no really easy way to put this, but," he sighed. "Nick, you've been a great asset to this team ever since you came here and it has always been a pleasure to work with you. With that being said, however –"

"Jack, no!" exclaimed Nick. "Please don't finish that sentence. Don't tell me I can't carry on working here anymore."

"Believe me, I wish I didn't have to," said Jack, his voice heavy with sadness. "But it's for your own sake, Nick. You might not properly realise it, but you are becoming seriously ill, and soon it runs the risk of impacting on your job here, and you know that we can't afford to let that happen, especially with you being a doctor as well."

"But I'm fine," remonstrated Nick. "Honestly, I would tell you if I thought I wasn't, because I know how important it is to function properly with what we do." He looked pleadingly at Jack. "I understand not wanting me to overdo it, but I know I will go completely crazy if I'm stuck in that house on my own when I know I could be here making a difference."

He turned around to John then. "You believe me, don't you? You know I'm still capable of doing my job and that I can handle this, don't you?"

More than anything, John wanted to agree with him, to tell him that of course he was fine and he could manage to keep doing his job. Sadly, he knew that he couldn't. "Nick, please."

He almost flinched at the crushed look on his husband's face, but was slightly reassured that Nick only tensed a little when he touched his shoulder rather than completely brushing him off.

"Jack's right, as much as I hate to say it," he whispered. "And he's not the only one who's noticed. I've seen you struggling more and more here since Christmas. You keep putting on a brave face, but you can't hide how much doing this is tiring you out and, deep down, you know you can't. I know it's hard and I feel for you, I really do, but you need to listen to your body and try to accept that you just aren't as," he pondered briefly on the right words, "strong and stable as you once were. I'm not saying that you're weak, not by any stretch of the imagination. But you must see how quickly and easily you're tiring out these days."

"It's true," said Jack. "This is not about us trusting you or not trusting you, Nick. This is about needing to do what's best for you. I understand that it won't be easy for you, I know it goes against everything in your nature to walk away from something you've committed to. You're loyal and dedicated and that's incredibly admirable. But right now, you're also putting your health at risk and that's not so admirable. You have to step back and focus on yourself for now, and with the way things are now, that means taking a break from work. Your health, and any recovery you could make, are far more important than that right now, and if you're honest with yourself, you know that."

Nick turned around very slowly, chewing his lip. "Do you think…maybe one day, I could get better again? And come back to working here?"

Both John and Jack seemed to be considering how best to answer that. John wanted to be honest and say that he hoped so, but he genuinely didn't know one way or the other, but Jack beat him to it.

"Nick," he said gently, "you know that you aren't well right now. This is not something that we're familiar with, even at Torchwood. That being said, I do have hope that things can change and that, ultimately, anything is possible and you might get better, though this is by no means a promise. But, I can also guarantee that you will only make things worse for yourself if you insist on working yourself so hard. I'm not saying you need to sit around all day and stare at the same four walls, but you definitely do need to take time off work, at least for now. You're a doctor, Nick, and we both know that you would be saying the same thing to your patients." He held up a hand as Nick opened his mouth to protest. "Please make this easy for yourself, Nick. Don't make me turn this into an order and suspend you."

Nick's mouth opened a little and he went pale and leaned against the wall. "All right," he eventually conceded, though he did not look especially happy about it. "I'll take it easy for the foreseeable future. I'll even take sick leave, since you insist. But I want you all to let me know what's going on here. I don't want to hear about the next alien invasion via the late night news."

"We're actually trying to prevent any more alien invasions, you know," said Jack dryly. "But fair enough. I'll also take really good care of this one for you, don't worry."

"Hey!" protested John. "Point one, what makes you think I can't take care of myself? And, point two, who told you that I'm going to be anywhere other than by Nick's side right now?"

"I am stood right here," said Nick crossly. "And to answer your questions – firstly, you get very reckless when you're upset or scared, and I, for one, would much rather you didn't get yourself killed."

"It's not going to stick," pouted John.

"Secondly," continued Nick as though he hadn't heard that comment, "the person who says you're not going to be stuck to my hip is none other than me. I do not want you putting your life on hold just so you can stay with me, especially not when the team needs you. You're one of the best field agents here, as you well know, and having you absent will screw up the dynamics. Also, you will go crazy stuck at home with me all the time."

"I'll go crazy worrying about you if I'm here," retorted John, but he wilted a bit when Nick glared at him. "But I also know that I can be…less than pleasant when I'm stuck in one place for too long."

"An argumentative prick, you mean," muttered Jack.

"Shut up. So, how about I simply cut down on my working hours here so I can spend some more time at home? With the caveat that someone has to call me if the world is about to end."

"That sounds reasonable." Jack nodded as he met John's eyes and they made a silent agreement – John could come in, if necessary, but they would definitely be leaving Nick out of it unless they absolutely had to, and even then he would only be there in his capacity as a doctor.

"Fine." Nick still did not look too happy about the proposed solutions, but it seemed that he had realised that arguing would not get him anywhere. "Can I get back to work now?"

Jack's eye twitched, but he nodded. "But if you feel even the slightest bit tired or unwell, you sit down and have a break. Someone else can take over, that's what we're all here for. That _is_ an order." He waited for Nick to nod before adding, "And remember, I can see all of the Hub, so I will be keeping an eye on you and I'll know if you're overdoing it."

"What happened to treating me like an adult?" grumbled Nick, but he nodded and left the office with otherwise reasonably good grace.

Once he was out of earshot, John turned and eyeballed Jack hard. "You aren't really going to stalk him on the CCTV, are you?"

"Of course not." Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm protective of my team, I admit, but I'm not a complete stalker. However, if he thinks I've got my eye on him at all times, maybe he'll be more inclined to take it easy from now on."

"Wow." John shook his head. "You know, you're really lucky he didn't call your bluff on that one. Most people – me, and probably everyone else here, included – certainly would have," he added before leaving, but not before he could block out Jack's remark that Nick had let it go because he knew it was for the best.

* * *

_Late that night…_

John sat bolt upright in bed and looked around, trying to work out what had caused him to wake up so suddenly. It wasn't a nightmare, though he'd had far too many of those over the years. Shrugging, he rubbed his face and stretched out his arm to reach for Nick, only for his hand to come into contact with an empty space. His heart lurched as he jumped out of bed, though he tried to tell himself that there was nothing to worry about and Nick had just gone to the bathroom and would be back in a minute and ready to tease him for worrying so much. However, when he opened the door, there was no one in there, which increased John's worry tenfold, though he was relieved not to see Nick dry heaving in the sink or passed out on the floor.

"He's probably just gone downstairs to get some water," he mused as he crept down the stairs. "He wouldn't be stupid enough to go out in the night on his own when he's not well." Of course, it was at that moment that he noticed a folded up piece of paper in the bowl where they kept their keys. He snatched it up and trembled as he scanned the six words Nick had scribbled there, his writing messy in its haste

_I'm sorry. I can't stay behind._

"Oh, Nick, you fucking well-meaning idiot!" John swore as he pelted back up the stairs and threw on some clothes. He almost tripped in his haste to get downstairs again and out of the front door, his alarm increasing along the way as he realised that Nick's coat and trainers were not by the door where they should be.

Still swearing breathlessly, he burst through the tourist office, not even caring when he knocked a pile of magazines onto the floor, and nearly collided with Ianto, wo was pacing about and twisting his fingers.

"Where is he?" he demanded, grabbing the front of Ianto's jacket and not caring if he creased the fabric. "I know he's here – take me to him right now!"

He must have looked either desperate or deranged, because Ianto's calm mask abruptly descended and he led John down to the medical bay without delay. In the corner of his mind, he could just about hear Ianto telling him what had happened, but he wasn't listening to it. Instead, his attention was almost entirely distracted by the sight of Nick lying unconscious in Jack's arms while his boss tried to wake him up. He almost ploughed into Declan, who was apparently running some scans, and skidded to a halt, dropping to his knees and grasping Nick's hand. He closed his eyes in relief when he felt Nick's pulse, faint, slow and weak, but still there, and dropped his head down, all the adrenaline from earlier rushing away in an instant.

"You bloody fool," he choked out, stroking his fingers through Nick's long hair. "You scared me half to death when I woke up and you weren't there. What the hell were you thinking?"

"He said he wanted to do his bit to help," whispered Jack. "I tried to get him to go home and rest up – I was even about to put him in the SUV and drive him back myself – but then he collapsed." He looked stricken. "I should have seen this coming."

"Yes, you really should have," muttered John, though his heart wasn't really in it. All he could think about was the sight of his husband lying there unresponsive and oblivious to the worry of his friends and family. "It's bad now, isn't it," he said, knowing the answer even as he spoke.

"I'm afraid so." Declan had stepped forward and squatted down beside him, his face drawn and pale. "Before, we at least knew that the Rift sickness and the cancer were fighting each other and cancelling each other out. While that obviously wasn't ideal –"

"Just get to the point!" shouted John. "Tell me what's happening!"

Declan swallowed and nodded. "Basically, the cancer has grown more and more aggressive over the last months. It has caused immense damage to his brain, though because of the Rift sickness, it can't fully overcome it. But it has spread to the rest of his body, including several of his vital organs. Soon, it will spread to the rest as well."

Jack clasped a hand to his mouth. "He's dying."

"He's been dying for a long time," said Declan quietly. "But yes. Unless we get a miracle from somewhere, he's not going to survive to see Christmas."

* * *

_Next Time: Can Jack find the miracle that Nick needs?_


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack calls John to the Hub for a chat and delivers several pieces of news - and an explanation or two as well.

 

_13_ _th_ _March 2014…_

For the second night in a row, John found himself unexpectedly roused from a deep sleep. Fortunately, this time, it was not because Nick had decided to go on a late night jaunt to the Hub – honestly, there was a small part of John that thought he might never forgive him for pulling such a stupid stunt – but instead because his phone was vibrating next to him. Grunting, he grappled for it, pausing only to glance at the screen. "Jack?" He cleared his throat and lowered his voice. "Is the world ending?"

"One day, you're going to ask that and the world really will be ending," came Jack's usual reply, though it didn't hold any of its usual dry humour. "Can you come to the Hub? I need to talk to you and I really don't want to do it over the phone."

"I'll be there in twenty minutes." Even as he hung up the phone, John was pulling on his jeans and a warm sweater over his nightclothes. He was about to leave when he tripped over the quilt that was trailing onto the floor and accidentally pulled it off the bed. Cursing, he picked it up and folded it neatly over the edge, trying to be quiet, but it was already too late. Nick was stirring with a groan and he startled to sit up slowly, blinking as he turned on the light and reached for his glasses.

"What's going on?" he asked, his voice hoarse with sleep. "Where are you going?"

"Sorry," John whispered. "Didn't mean to wake you up." He forced himself not to look too closely at how beautiful Nick looked, even huddled up in piles of blankets and with his hair tangled all over his face. "I've just got to go to work. Jack wants a word with me about something."

"Oh?" A flicker of interest flashed through Nick's eyes and he sat up properly.

"He didn't say, but it sounded important, though not end of the world important."

"Okay. Do you need me there?"

"No." John glared at him. "After last night's little performance, you are very lucky I didn't handcuff you to the bed today." He tried very hard not to make it too obvious that he was now picturing that exact thing happening in another, more fun context, but he obviously hadn't succeeded very well, because Nick grinned and muttered something about how he'd obviously enjoy that too much.

"Shut it, you," he said, though he was glad to see that, even with everything that was happening, Nick still hadn't completely lost his sense of humour. He leaned over and kissed him lightly. "And you'd better still be here when I get back, got it?" Nick responded with something that was by no means polite, but he did lie down again and settle back to sleep.

When he arrived at the Hub, the first thing John saw was Jack on the phone pacing up and down. Apparently, though, whatever he was being told wasn't good, because he hung up with a growl of frustration, slammed the phone onto the table and buried his head in his hands.

"Um…bad news?" asked John cautiously.

"Try no news at all," snapped Jack. "That was – or should have been – the Doctor. I've spent half the night trying to call him, because if there's one person in the entire universe who might be able to help Nick, then –"

"It'd be him." Hope started to blossom in John's chest; surely the Time Lord could fix this! "And?" he prompted. "What did he say?"

Jack shook his head. "Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I've been calling him for hours and he hasn't picked up the phone once! I've even called Martha to see if she knows where he is, but he's not answering her calls either."

"Have you left him a message?"

"At least five," Jack's voice was grimly bitter. "I don't even know where he is, but that number should be reachable anywhere in the universe."

"Can you keep trying?" asked John desperately. "Please – I can't lose him."

"I know." Jack's face softened at last. "And, believe me, I will do the best I can to get hold of him." He glared at his phone and muttered, "You'd better have a really good reason for ignoring me, you bastard, or I swear I will throw you into that Rift next time I see you – I doubt even you could come out of that without losing a regeneration or two."

"Is there nothing else we could do?" asked John, sinking onto the sofa. "I mean," he paused as a thought occurred to him. "What about your blood? When I ended up in hospital that time, you gave me a little dose of your immortality, didn't you? Why can't we do that for Nick? It has to be worth a try!"

"If it was, I would have suggested it the minute we found out about all this," said Jack sadly. "But it really isn't as simple as just injecting someone with my blood and making them immortal. It saved your life and made you more resilient, yes, but that wasn't what made you immortal."

"Well…then, what did?" asked John, curious despite himself.

"A very specific chain of events. It started with that blood transfusion, of course, but there's much more to it than that."

He stood up and paced around. "Four years ago, you and Nick jumped into the Rift, as you know. But what you might not have fully understood is that the Rift was spreading out, not just across Cardiff, but across space and time as well. That created a lot of energy, most of it focused here, which would have reacted with the remnants of the time vortex in my blood. But even that alone wouldn't have have been enough. For it to work, you had to come close to death. And that is where the Rift monster comes in. You follow me so far?"

"No," said John, completely lost. "What is a Rift monster, and what does it have to do with me and Nick?"

Jack seemed to be thinking for a moment. "They're like fish that live in rivers, except that instead of rivers, they live in the gaps in space and time. Basically, if you think of space and time like it's a continent, then the the Rifts are like the rivers and these monsters are like the fish in the rivers – except they're a lot more dangerous than fish." He gave John an intense look. "Okay, when you were brought back here, you had no clear memories of anything that had happened before you were found on the other side, did you?"

"No," admitted John. "But I still remember the dreams I had afterwards where I was attacked by something, some monster or other."

Jack nodded. "That would have been a Rift monster. When you were brought back here and I was bringing your memories back, I saw what happened to you. I didn't want to tell you then, because I thought it would be too much, though you've probably figured it out by now."

"The person I saw myself pushing out of the way…that was Nick, wasn't it?"

"Yeah." Jack folded his arms. "You pushed him out of the way and ended up taking the full attack from the Rift monster yourself. The attack caused your memories to be buried right in the depths of your mind, not to mention it almost killed you."

"But it didn't kill me, because your blood reacted and turned me." John nodded slowly, his mind racing. "Okay, so…could it work again to save Nick?"

"In theory, yes," conceded Jack. "But in practice, recreating the events as they happened to you would be impossible, or at the very least, the odds would be so astronomical not even Han Solo would attempt it. Also, in the off-change that we even got close to doing it, we don't know what the consequences could be and I, for one, will not take the risk of destroying the planet so you can try something that has no chance of working."

"But," protested John, "you just said –"

"I said it would work _in theory_ ," emphasised Jack. "The state that Nick is in, if you send him into that nightmare, he would never survive the trauma of it, even with my blood to help him."

John knew he couldn't very well argue with that. "Okay, well, then I'll go back in time! I can change things, pull him away before he jumps into the Rift with me. Or I could sort it out so that he never comes back to Cardiff and never gets involved with Torchwood altogether."

Jack turned to look at him sceptically. "You would actually do that? You would honestly change things so that you never met Nick – you'd give up the best thing that's ever happened to you?"

"If it meant that he could be safe, yes, I would," answered John. "If it meant that Catrin could have more time with her brother and those two young kids could grow up with their father in their lives, I'd do it without a doubt. It's not just about me, Jack. He has a family that needs him."

"I know." Jack sighed. "It's an awful situation – but, John, you know you can't go back and change things. Nick has already had an effect on time, because he spent time at the Time Agency; he even joined up with them. I know he wasn't there for very long, but even the most innocuous thing he could have said might have some sort of bearing on the success or failure of a mission. We both know that ourselves. Even a tiny comment about 21st century culture could save someone's life if they came here and if Nick wasn't around to say it, there could be serious problems in the future. You know this, John; even the tiniest thing could have consequences that could even affect the outcome of a war. We can't take that sort of risk."

John snorted. “Weren’t you the one who said that a level of risk was worth it if it was for a greater good?” 

"I think you were the one who said that, actually," retorted Jack, a spark of anger in his eyes. "And in some cases, yes, there is room to negotiate, but this is not one I am willing to take a risk on – not if it ends up bringing the Time Agency down on our heads." He grabbed John's shoulders. "You know that they could end up wiping all of your memories of Nick if it meant that the timelines would be protected. Is that really what you want? To have him look at you with such pain in his eyes because the man who he married, the man who promised to stand by him for the rest of their lives, can't remember him? Because that is exactly what will happen."

He took a deep breath and his eyes hardened even more. "And even if the Agency didn't do it, if it came down to it, I would."

Shocked, John stepped back. "You're bluffing," he said. "You know what that would do to me, what I used to be – you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't risk it."

"If it meant I could protect Cardiff and the world from war? You'd better believe I would do it, over and over again until it stuck if I had to."

"And if it was Ianto who was in this situation instead of Nick?" John folded his arms and faced Jack with an icy look. "What would you do then, huh? On second thoughts, don't answer that – we both know what the answer would be, don't we?"

"I'm not sure we do, actually," Jack answered, visibly struggling to keep his voice steady, not that this was of any importance to John. "Would I research every possible angle to keep him with me? Of course I would. Would it hurt to realise that there was nothing I could do to help him? Absolutely, more than anything. But even knowing that, I would still never consider doing what you're suggesting, because I know only too well what the consequences of that could be. But also, I know that Ianto would hate me for it. He would never want me to do something so dangerous."

"So what – you'd just give up?" asked Joh incredulously.

"I would enjoy the time that I had left with him and make it as happy as I could, but then I would let him go when the time came. You might call that giving up on him, but I call it doing the right thing for the greater good, just like all of us have had to do – just like when Nick realised that it was the right thing to let his children stay with his sister, and you know that he did not make that decision lightly, but he also knew that it was the right decision to make for everyone involved."

"Right." John heard himself laugh hysterically. "So. Now it all makes sense, doesn't it? This is why you let me stay here and why you were so pleased to see me dating Nick. You said it was just because you wanted to see me happy again, but all that was a lie, wasn't it?"

"What are you talking about?"

The astonished tone to Jack's voice only served to anger John even more. "Don't play the fool, Jack, it doesn't suit you and you know it doesn't work on me. You just wanted me to find someone who I could truly love enough to settle down and build a proper life with, someone who actually loved me back – and then have to watch as it disappeared from right in front of me. Oh, I see that now. But what I _don't_ see, what I can't understand, is why you would want that. Why would you want to rip everything away from me like that? Do you honestly hate me that much?"

Now it was Jack's turn to laugh sarcastically. "Oh, of course," he said, rolling his eyes in a manner scarily reminiscent of Ianto. "You're right, I love being able to sit here and watch you suffer like this. It's wonderful to see, because of course I think being _me_ is such a great punishment. It really helps me to get through the day to be able to see you suffering like this."

In retrospect, John knew that he shouldn't have lashed out and punched Jack. He knew that it would never have accomplished anything. But Jack's harsh sarcasm and refusal to do anything to help had just been the straw that had broken the camel's back.

"I can't believe you!" he almost roared, ignoring the throbbing pain in his hand. "Do you even have any idea what it feels like to lose the only person who has ever truly loved you? The only person who has ever taken the time to try and understand you, and the one person who you know would never, ever judge you? Because that," he shoved Jack in the chest, "that is _exactly_ what is happening to me right now, Jack! How would you feel if this was your goddamn boyfriend, huh? Tell me that, why don't you!"

"Well done, I think you've just described every day of my life since I became immortal," sniped Jack, though it was becoming increasingly clear that his heart was no longer in it. "John, please, just take a moment and think. I _do_ understand –"

"Shut up!" John pushed away the voice that was warning him that soon he might push Jack too far; he didn't want to hear it. "Don't – just don't you _dare_ try to tell me that you understand how I feel, because you don't – you really don't! you have absolutely no fucking idea how I feel!"

"Oh, don't I?" asked Jack, folding his arms.

"No!" John was not deterred. "No, you bloody well don't! Nick was – he was the only one…the only one after you…" he shook his head and closed his eyes, but all that served was to make him even more furious. "You just don't understand! You never will understand – and do you know why? Because you've had it for so long that you're used to it now! Losing people you love – it's second goddamn nature to you these days!"

He barely heard Jack's stammered attempt at a denial as he barged past him and raced down to the shooting range. Almost blinded by the violent cacophony of emotions racing through him, he grabbed the nearest gun and started firing rounds at every target he could find, no matter where in the room they might be, but quickly found out that the weapon was almost empty of bullets. Swearing, he threw it hard onto the ground and used his fists to lay into anything he could find that was within reach. He no longer cared if it was a target, a table or even the wall; all he cared about was the rage and anguish burning through his veins and refusing to be calmed.

He had no idea how long he stayed there, or how much damage he had done to the room, before a pair of arms came around him and he was pulled into a strong hold. He tried to wriggle away, he didn't want to have to stop, no matter what happened, but he was not being let go of; if anything, the grip seemed to tighten even more. Slowly, when he could no longer move his arms, he looked up and found himself staring into Jack's eyes. His face was full of compassion, though he didn't say a word, only led him up to his old bunker and they sat down together on the bed.

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry if I punched you, you know," grunted John, focusing on a point somewhere behind Jack's shoulder. "Or for the mess I might have left behind back there."

"You were stressed and it had to come out somehow. I get it," said Jack with a shrug. "Besides, all things considered, I think I'm the one who should be apologising to you. I've been the way I am for so long, I honestly keep forgetting how recent it all was for you and how new you are to this particular…side effect of our situation."

He shook his head and let out a small laugh. "But you're right. I guess it's happened for so long that losing the people I love has become second nature to me in a way. I've had centuries to get used to it, whereas I know you haven't. But take it from me – all that time does not mean that it ever stops hurting. I wish it did – you can't imagine how much I wish it did – but it never does."

"I don't want to lose him," whispered John, finally allowing himself to collapse against Jack. "I can't. I just…I can't."

"You know you don't have a choice," said Jack, turning to look him straight in the eye. "You will lose him anyway. Even without this illness, even without Torchwood, you will lose him to time. He will die. They will all die. We are going to be left alone in the end. And there is nothing you, or anyone else, can do to change that."

John shuddered. "Way to go for the jugular there," he muttered, even though he knew that Jack was right, as he always was in the end. "It's just…I'm scared," he finally admitted. "I'm scared of…what I'll become when he does die."

He saw Jack's frown of confusion and started to explain himself. "When I went back to my old home before Christmas, I realised just how bad I had been before I came here and met Nick. He did that for me, Jack. He saw past the smarmy lunatic Time Agent and found me – the man. Sometimes, I think he's the only thing that's stopping me from becoming the psycho who pushed you off that building."

"That is never going to happen," insisted Jack. "There is a lot of good in you, I've always known that, even when I saw you at your worst. And it wasn't just Nick who brought that out in you. Yes, he gave you something that was worth fighting for, but in the end you had to be the one to make the decision to change your ways – and you did that by yourself. And the very fact that you clearly don't want to go back to who you used to be tells me that you have the strength, and good sense, not to do that, even if you don't know it yourself yet."

"I really hope you're right," sighed John. "But still, I just wish that there was some way to save him."

"I know you do. I wish there was as well, but," Jack rubbed his face, "there's still more, John. Even if, somehow, we did manage to find a way to save Nick, and the two of you did manage to have a life together, it wouldn't change anything, because you would still end up being separated – only it would be you who left."

"What do you mean?" asked John, his forehead creasing. "Only, it sounds awfully like you're threatening me."

Jack chewed his lip as though he was weighing his words. "The prophecy, John. The reason you and Nick jumped into the Rift in the first place – it's all true. But it still needs to be fulfilled." He smiled sadly. "That's why the two of you were even able to get out and come back here in the first place; because you never did what the prophecy said you had to do."

"So, what does that…" but John trailed off when he saw Jack look at the floor. "No," he whispered as the answer dawned on him. "No – Jack, don't tell me I have to go alone!"

"I'm sorry," said Jack. "I really am. But it's the only way that the Rift can be closed." He laughed a little bitterly. "I wish there was a way around all of this just as much as you do, but –"

"But the fact is, there simply isn't."

Both men started at the voice and John had to close his eyes at the sight of his husband leaning against the wall. He looked pale and sad, but his eyes were resolute as he smiled at them.

"I'm not even going to ask how you got in here without either of us noticing," said Jack. "However, what I would like to know is what you're doing here when I'm sure John explicitly told you that you were to stay behind and get some sleep?"

"Okay, firstly, when have you ever known me to do as I'm told?" asked Nick. "Secondly, he actually didn't say any such thing. He just told me I had better be where he left me when he came home. And, since you are very clearly not back home yet, I have not broken any rules."

"Trust you to find a fucking loophole somewhere," muttered John, not that this stopped him from pulling Nick into his arms and kissing him. "But you haven't answered Jack's question – what are you doing here?"

"Let's just say I got a tip suggesting that you were about to be given some less than stellar news about what was happening to me, and it seems as though I was right. So…I came to find you."

Jack sat up. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough to know that you're right. No, listen," he held up his hand as John started to remonstrate. "We both knew that this would happen, even if we didn't realise it would be this soon. But when the time does come, I don't want a fight. I need you to let me die."

"No!" cried John, dropping Nick's hand as he stared at him in horror. "That's crazy, Nick! You've got so much to stay for, so much to _fight_ for! Ianto, Jack, Cat, David, your kids. Shit, those two little ones have been through enough already – don't they deserve better than to lose their father like this?"

"Of course they do – and you deserve better than to lose your husband as well," said Nick, ironically enough addressing the very topic John hadn't dared to bring up. "It's shit, I know. It's really shit. But it is what it is. I know you want to hope that things will get better and, trust me, so do I. I don't want to leave anyone behind any more than you want me to leave you behind. But we both know that things aren't going to change, or if they do, it will be too late for me. All I'm asking is that, when the time comes, you let me go peacefully and gracefully."

"But…" John trailed off and sighed, feeling the fight drain out of him as he looked at Nick and saw the pleading in his face. "Okay," he finally choked out. "Okay. I'll do it."

* * *

_Next Time: Against the odds, a wedding anniversary dawns, but after the latest revelations, can John and Nick find the time to enjoy it?_


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Against all odds, John and Nick celebrate their wedding anniversary. Later, Nick makes a decision.

_30_ _th_ _June 2014…_

Nick folded his arms and raised an amused eyebrow when he came into the kitchen. "Um…wow, okay. Now, I really do feel as if I'm in a parallel world. Did Ianto put extra caffeine in your coffee last night or something?"

"Ha, very funny," scoffed John as he flipped another pancake expertly onto the nearby plate. "It's a special day, so I decided that I should be doing something special, shouldn't I?" He stopped and tilted his head. "Unless…is it too much?"

"I shouldn't think so." Cautiously, probably mindful of unexpected flying breakfast, Nick approached the stove. "I was just always told that the first anniversary was paper, but apparently somewhere down the line it became pancakes."

John rolled his eyes. "You people are so adorable with your lists and your quaint little categories." He yelped as Nick punched his arm. "To be fair, they do both start with the same letter and, let's be honest, pancakes are far tastier than paper – and yes, that does include that awful rice paper stuff you had me try." He grimaced at the memory, but Nick only laughed. "Anyway, you're looking perkier this morning."

"Must have been the smell of your cooking. Hey, any chance I could have a go at tossing one? I promise it won't go on the floor."

John bit his tongue against the innuendo that was threatening to come out. "All right, but you'd better be good and listen to my instructions."

He poured another spoonful of batter into the pan and guided Nick's hand to the handle, keeping his other arm firmly wrapped around his waist. "That's it," he whispered, his lips brushing against Nick's ear, "keep a nice and firm grip on that handle there; you don't want it shooting out of your hand and making a mess everywhere – that's it, very good." He sucked in a deep breath and steadied Nick so that they were pressed close together again. "Gently, gently, don't rush it there. You have to take your time here; we don't want anything to spill out… _prematurely_."

He smirked to himself as Nick's breath hitched, and rubbed his fingers across his wrist, which trembled around the handle of the pan. "Hey, yes, that's right," he crooned, "you've got it, now give it a shake – carefully, carefully! we just want to make sure it doesn't stick too much, it's not ready to go flying yet – and lift it up, not too high, not too high…we don't want any incidents here…"

There was a sudden almighty crash as Nick dropped the pan, batter and all, back onto the hob. Alarmed, John started to ask him if he was all right, but the words were snatched right out of his mouth when Nick leapt into his arms and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Surprised, but definitely not complaining, John wrapped his arms around him and pulled him right up against his body, pressing their hips together hard as he kissed him back with equal fervour. He could feel that he was running short of breath, but he didn't care – this moment was worth every drop of oxygen in his body.

_And yes, this may well be one of the first things that manages to kill me,_ a few of his scattered brain cells seemed to be saying to him as his hand slid underneath Nick's shirt and massaged the smooth skin of his back. _But if it does, then wow – what a way to go!_

Apparently, though, and to his deep disappointment, Nick disagreed on that front, because he eventually pulled away and stepped back, his face flushed and dazed and his glasses hanging halfway off his nose.

"Wow," he gasped, leaning against the cupboards and breathing as though he had just won a marathon. "Well, that's one thing we never got around to doing when you were teaching me how to use a gun."

John swallowed; that memory had also been on his mind. "Well, it certainly was worth the wait." He brushed a loose strand of hair out of Nick's eyes and kissed him again. "And you were worth all the time I had to wait for you too," he murmured against his lips. "I would have willingly waited for ever and a day if I had to if it meant I could spend this time with you."

"I know." Nick's soft brown eyes turned solemn and he pulled John close and tightened his arm around him. "I have to admit, though, I couldn't ever bring myself to regret the way that things ended up going in the past, because all of them brought me something really wonderful. Ali picked me up at one of the hardest times in my life, at that point, and if she hadn't…well, I don't really know what might have happened. Our marriage might have crashed and burned in the end, but we were happy at one time at least, not to mention that it also brought me my two beautiful kids. Even the Time Agency," he stopped and thought about it, "I made some great friends there and learned a lot about the universe, even if my so-called mentor turned out to be a bloodthirsty psychopath."

He seemed to be gazing into the distance, a small smile on his face. "Everything that's happened, the good, the bad and the frankly bizarre and terrifying – that has all brought me to this point, and that's why I wouldn't change any of it. If I had, things might have turned out so differently and we might never have even met each other, let alone gotten into a relationship."

"I'd probably have gone back to causing mayhem across the universe, starting with this planet, if Jack hadn't decided to take the risk and bring me back to work here," admitted John. "And, quite frankly, I dread to think what might have happened in that case. I'd probably have ended up wiping out the universe, not to mention a few of the parallel ones." He heard Nick's sceptical little snort and turned to look up at him. "You might think I'm bluffing, but believe me, a rogue Time Agent who would have killed someone who he thought at the time was the love of his life to keep a bitter and manipulative madman on his side would have been capable of almost anything. And, believe me, that would not have led to anything good."

"You know, there probably is a parallel universe where everything you just said was what actually happened," said Nick. "And yet, all of us still seem to be here, so…I don't think you could ever be quite as much of a brutal killer as you might think – any version of you – despite what Ianto might have told me about you."

John shook his head. "Don't make me out to be some sort of misunderstood hero, Nick. You know better than most people what I've done and who I used to be."

"Yes, I do. But I also know that you are not that man anymore, and you haven't been for a very long time." Smiling softly, Nick took his hand and squeezed it. "I'm not going to call you a misunderstood hero, as you put it, because I know that isn't who you are. But I also know that you are certainly not the deranged murderer you wanted everyone to believe you were. The fact that you loved Jack as deeply as you did is proof of that."

"I did." John knew that there was no way he could argue with that. "But you can't say that it was healthy, Nick. I did some awful things because I just couldn't stand the thought of letting him go. That wasn't love in the end. It was obsession."

Those memories now made him shudder in horror, partly because of what he had of what he had done back then, but also because he knew only too well that, given the chance to do the same thing when Nick had been hurt, he had taken it with aplomb, and it could have cost him everything he had now. He knew only too well what he was capable of and what he could do if he let the darkness inside him overtake him again, and that thought terrified him more than he thought anything could.

Apparently, Nick had been thinking about the same thing. "I admit, sometimes your responses to bad situations concerning people you love haven't necessarily been the best ones," he said carefully. "You can be extremely impulsive and you have been known to rush in without thinking because your emotions just overrule your brain. Having said that, I can't think of any one person who hasn't done that, and I know that you've learned from your past mistakes and, without them, I don't think you would be the person you are now. Yes, you've done some really questionable things, some of them with terrible consequences. Nobody could deny that and I don't think anyone would, least of all you. But, as I said, you have learned from that and you've made the effort to change your ways. I know how hard that can be and the very fact that you've admitted to your mistakes and set out to make things right shows that you have changed for the better."

John grunted, feeling a little hot and uncomfortable. "Yeah, well…"

"Oi." Nick poked him in the ribs. "I'm being serious here. You are incredibly brave and a genuinely good man. And I for one am so glad that I got to know you and find a life with you. I only wish that we could have had just a little bit longer together."

That brought John back down to earth with a rather unpleasant bump, and he felt his heart twist and his mouth go dry. Just for today, he had wanted, more than anything, to forget what was coming in the near future and just spend the day making his husband as happy as he possibly could. Ever since that terrible night in March when he had learned that there was nothing to be done, he had been following the advice Jack had given him and focused on spending as much time with Nick as he could rather than worrying about him every time he so much as sneezed. There was no sense in wasting their precious time on driving himself crazy with anxiety about the odd little sniffle when they were waiting for something that was so much worse.

Of course, he knew that what was coming was always a threat to them, like a black cloud hovering over their heads and there were days when it seemed even more unescapable. Sometimes, Nick was barely able to do much more than sit on the sofa with a book, or lie down and listen to music while he stared at the ceiling, and there had been one terrifying day when John had been unable to wake him for several hours, even as his breathing had rattled and his temperature had soared. Everyone had been so sure that Nick had fought his final battle and lost, though, as usual, he had contradicted them all and, somehow, pulled through. However, no one could now deny that he he was slowly growing weaker by the day, even if the constant medical reports and scans would allow them to.

Jack had continued to do his bit by constantly trying to contact the Doctor and ask him for his help, but he had never received any response. He was becoming increasingly confused and worried about this, but John had to admit that he wasn't surprised – angry and hurt, definitely, but not surprised. The Time Lord had, even after everything the two of them had been through together, never been able to see Jack as an equal when compared to his other companions, and had always been more prepared to ask him for help than he was to actually offer any to him. Jack had shrugged and said that he had long since come to terms with their difficult relationship, but everyone had been able to see the guilt and worry in his face every time one of his calls went unanswered and every time their chances of helping Nick deteriorated even more.

His thoughts must have shown all too clearly on his face, because Nick tilted his head at him. "Hey. Don't you go getting all maudlin on my now. It's our wedding anniversary today, in case you'd forgotten, and you also promised me pancakes, remember?"

"What?" John blinked and looked around – and, as he did so, his nose twitched as an acrid smell of burning began to fill the room. "Shit!" he yelped, rushing to turn off the stove and move the frying pan. He cursed once again as the burning heat from it seared through his hand, and instantly ran for the cold tap, taking a moment to drop the pan, charred bits of pancake and all, into the sink, where it sizzled loudly under the cold water.

"I don't know what you're so happy about," he grumbled at Nick, who was watching him with his hands over his mouth, quite clearly torn between amusement and sympathy. "It's not as if you even noticed that the stove was still on, either."

"What can I say?" Nick's eyes were positively dancing now. "You proved to be far too effective at distracting me." Still, he came over with a large bag of what looked like vegetables that he'd just taken out of the freezer and encased John's hand with it. "Maybe that will teach you to use oven gloves next time, won't it?"

"Maybe you should be more concerned about the fact that, between the two of us, we nearly managed to burn down our kitchen," retorted John with a mock-annoyed glare. "Besides, it's not as if this is going to last for too long, with or without frozen peas."

"True, but I know how much you grumble about it hurting when you just leave it, and I'd prefer not to have to listen to that all day, if you don't mind. Also, I'm still a doctor and, a lot of the time, my word is law, especially here when it comes to you injuring yourself in stupid ways. So, I would just sit down, keep quiet and follow my advice, if I were you."

John sat down straight away then, the peas clutched even tighter to his hand. "Have I told you how much I love you when you get all authoritative?" He smiled at the comment, knowing that hadn't always been true. While he had never not loved the redhead, he had always been an exceedingly stubborn man who had been loath to give way on things pertaining to his health, which meant that he had chafed immensely against Nick's medical orders at first. Eventually, however, he had discovered that there were several rather entertaining aspects of dating a feisty doctor who was not prepared to allow him to get away with not looking after himself properly.

He looked up in amusement as Nick brought over a plate piled high with pancakes and another one with hundreds of different types of fruit from all over the universe. "Okay, maybe that's enough for today, then," he joked.

"Enough?" Nick snorted. "What, exactly, were you trying to do, feed an entire Mardi Gras parade or something?"

"Nope, just a special breakfast for a very special someone. Although, I admit, I may have gone a little overboard." He caught Nick's hand and leaned over to pull him into his lap and kiss him. "Happy anniversary."

* * *

_That afternoon…_

"Come on, John – why can't you just tell me what this is all about?"

John snickered to himself; Nick had been twitching and squirming with excitement since they had stepped into the Jaguar and drove off – with the roof down, of course, now that they had the weather for it – and now he was practically bouncing on the balls of his feet with fevered anticipation.

"Well, if I told you, then it wouldn't really be much use as a surprise, now would it?" he teased. "But, if you want a quick hint, why don't you just turn around and have a look at where we are?"

Nick chuckled, did as he was told and frowned. "Bute Park?" He turned back, confusion clear in his eyes. "What's in Bute Park?"

"Nope." John shook his head. "That's the only clue you're going to get from me. Now, you need to close your eyes and trust me. Go on."

He received a slightly frustrated look in response, but then Nick did as he was told and closed his eyes. He also warmed John's heart even more when he commented that he would always trust him.

_And that will certainly not be misplaced,_ he told himself as he took Nick's hand and led him into the park.

It was a beautiful day, warm and with a soft summer sun shimmering through the light puffs of white cloud. The trees were bursting with colour from their bright leaves and the warm aroma of freshly cut grass was all around them. From nearby, a dog yapped and a small boy cheered, but was hastily quietened by the amused young woman sitting in the shade of an enormous oak tree. When John saw her, he stopped, tipped her a conspiratorial wink and slid his arms around Nick's waist.

"All right," he whispered, brushing his cheek against his husband's. "Open your eyes."

"Reminds me a bit of last Christmas, this does," laughed Nick, but his face lit up when he opened his eyes and saw what, and who, was in front of him. "Oh wow!"

There was a large checked picnic blanket spread out on the grass and trimmed with fairy lights. Plates of sandwiches, crisps, fruit and salad were arranged and decorated with small bunches of colourful flowers. But right in the middle, taking pride of place, was a large cake made in the shape of two gold rings inscribed with flowing text – John was fairly sure it was one of the scripts from Nick's favourite novels, though he couldn't say for certain which one – and with hundreds of heart-shaped chocolates in the centres of the rings.

Catrin, who had been entertaining the children, looked up at that. "I can't believe it's already been a year," she said, getting up to hug Nick tightly.

"Did," Nick sat down on the grass where Woodie, now a sprightly four-year-old pup, bound up to nose at his hands. "Did you do all this by yourself?" he tried again, idly playing with the dog's ears.

"Well, I had a bit of help from your husband." Catrin scrambled over to hug John this time and kiss him on the cheek. "Okay, actually, he did most of the planning and organising."

"BY which she means I pulled a few strings at work and managed to get at least this part of the park closed off for a private function until further notice." That, John had to admit, had not gone over particularly well with the city council, but that had not bothered him in the slightest – he was so used to getting what he wanted, especially when he played the 'Torchwood' card that the authorities usually knew better than to argue with him. Of course, he knew that he could probably have gotten the same result if he had point blank told them that he wanted to plan something special for his dying husband, but that wasn't an option he had considered even for a second. Admittedly, this was not because he was above using a personal tragedy to get what he wanted – he had done it often enough in the past after all – but because he knew perfectly well that Nick would have been horrified to have had his private business become the gossip of the entire city; there was no way the local papers would have missed out on an opportunity to make a story out of something like that.

"Seriously," he continued. "My job was to get the place organised and get you here. Your brilliant sister did the rest by herself."

Catrin smiled. "What can I say? It's always a pleasure to see my little brother being made so happy."

"Well, believe me, Ianto would have taken great pleasure in having my hide if I had hurt him," said John. "Great guy, but he has a protective streak as long as my –"

He was cut off by a shocked hiss from Nick, who also kicked him in the shin. "What? Too much?"

"Around the kids? Just a little bit!" The tone of Nick's voice suggested that it was actually far more than just a little bit too much, though he did tip John a very small wink.

Once Catrin had stopped giggling – and looking at John with far too much interest for his liking – she poured them each a glass of sparkling orange with a raspberry in it and raised her glass. "To the beloved couple," she said, though her voice shook a little. "I hope that today brings you all the joy you could wish for."

She looked as though she was on the verge of tears, even as she clinked glasses with the two men. However, John decided that it was better to not bring that up and instead tickled an onrushing Michelle, making her squeal and fall back into his lap. "Wow, you're growing into a really big girl now, aren't you?"

She giggled and grinned up at him, her curly brown hair bouncing around her face. "I'm going to be a big sister too! Mummy said she's got a new baby coming!"

Nick had a tuna sandwich halfway to his mouth at that point, but he promptly dropped it on the blanket, his jaw dropping open. "Wait, what?!"

"That…was not exactly how I was planning on telling you," said a rather red-faced Catrin. "But yes. Four months gone now." She caressed her stomach, which John could now see had a very slight curve to it. "We don't know the sex yet – though David is absolutely convinced that it's a boy this time – but we do know what his or her name is going to be."

"I'm guessing something long and with too many consonants if it's a boy?" asked John cheekily, though he backed away when his sister-in-law threw a cherry tomato in his direction. "What? Isn't that how most Welsh men's names work?"

"Depends. Do you think that's an accurate way to describe your husband's name?"

"What?" The whisper seemed to catch in Nick's throat and his eyes went shockingly wide. "You're…going to name your baby after me?"

"Well, I think Nicholas has a nice ring to it; or Nicola for a girl. And," her eyes glistened with sudden tears, "when they're old enough, they're going to hear all about their amazingly brave Uncle Nick."

John swallowed hard as he watched Nick embrace his sister, along with his children and his niece. They were just holding each other tightly and he could see Catrin shaking a little as she closed her eyes and clung onto him, allowing him to stroke her long hair. He wanted to go over and be with Nick as well, wanted to give him his support and his love, but he knew he couldn't. This moment was not meant for him after all.

At that moment, though he almost couldn't believe he was thinking it, he almost wanted Jack to call them with news of some huge Rift activity. It was a long shot, but maybe that could give them a way to help Nick, since John had almost given up on the Doctor coming to their aid.

Eventually, though, the family broke apart, Catrin drying her eyes on the back of her hand. "I'm sorry," she said, clearly embarrassed. "I think I'm just a real mess of hormones at the moment." She gave John a watery glare, as though she was silently daring him to contradict her. Of course, John would never have dared to do any such thing. Quite aside from knowing that his sister-in-law could be absolutely terrifying when she was angry, he had no desire to acknowledge what was coming any more than she or Nick did. So, forcing a broad grin onto his face, he pulled himself to his feet and clapped his hands. "Hey, kids! How about a quick game of football before we cut the cake?"

* * *

_That evening, 9:30pm…_

John came out of the bathroom, hoping to find Nick where he had left him; quietly waiting in bed with his nose buried in one of the books he'd resolved to finish while he still could. He let out a slightly rueful, though not entirely surprised, sigh when he saw that the room was empty and the book was lying closed on top of the bedcovers. After quickly checking that Nick had put a bookmark in to mark his place, John pulled his dressing gown and slippers back on and went off to go and look for him.

It didn't take him too long to spy the light shining from underneath the slightly open door of the study, though he did not go inside, deciding instead to just stay where he was and watch as his husband wandered up and down the room, singing under his breath, not that John recognised the song at all. He felt a little bit like he was intruding on a moment that was meant to be private to everyone.

It turned out, however, that the decision was taken out of his hands, because Nick suddenly stopped in the middle of the floor, shook his head and let out a breathless laugh.

"You know, if you don't want someone to know you're hiding, it's usually a good idea not to stand in a place where you end up casting a shadow across the floor." He opened the door and gestured invitingly. "Come on in."

Sheepishly, John did as he was told. "What're you up to?" he asked, looking around at the piles of boxes on the table and the floor; boxes that were filled with various objects and mementos, some of which, by the looks of them, were actually older than Nick himself; clearly, they had been passed down to him by his own relatives.

"They're going to be memory boxes," explained Nick carefully. "I know it's morbid and sad, but I can't keep ignoring what we both know is coming. I need to be ready for when – not if, when – the worst does happen, whether it be tomorrow or in six years. So," he picked up one of the smaller boxes which contained a small selection of photographs – including one that looked like it was from Nick's first wedding – some books and a large red and gold dragon that John knew had come out of his husband's enormous collection. "This one is for Trev. It's just got a few bits and pieces in it, like photos, for him so that he can still remember me when I'm gone."

His eyes travelled across the room and landed upon a chair that his favourite forest green winter coat was draped over. "Like my dad did when he made that coat for me. I just want everyone to know just how much they meant to me, even though I can't be with them anymore."

"But," John gasped and leaned against the wall, his stomach twisting nauseatingly. "But…look at you right now. Don't get me wrong, it's a wonderful idea, but you're completely exhausted. You shouldn't be stressing yourself out now, not after how drained you were today." It had almost broken him to see his once lively and vivacious husband end up having to lean against a tree for most of the afternoon and watch his family running around laughing and playing football or throwing sticks for the dog to chase. John himself had tried his utmost to distract the young children so they wouldn't get too upset at the sight of their father and uncle looking as frail as he did, but it had also just brought home the very sudden reality of the situation.

Nick, however, only smiled sadly. "I'm fine," he whispered, clasping his hand. "And I'm going to be fine, you don't have to worry. I'm not going to drop dead tonight."

"Don't!" John swayed and grabbed him, pulling him tightly into his arms. "Don't ever say that, not even as a joke!"

"Sorry," Nick squeaked but managed to look up. "I'm sorry. Bad choice of words there. But, seriously, it feels good doing this. You know I want to leave something behind for the others, but it's also been so interesting going through and looking at everything again. I mean, here," he picked up one of the photographs that was lying on the table. "Do you remember this?"

"Of course I do." John's fingers trembled as he held the picture and remembered how happy they had been that night. He could still recall the warmth of Nick's hand in his as they flew over the city, talking and smiling at nothing in particular, feeling as though there was no one and nothing in the universe that could come between them, nothing that could hold them back.

_How did it come to this?_

* * *

_Next Time: Autumn has finally come, but with it comes heartache for the Torchwood team and their friends. You all know what's coming now, right?_

 


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The darkest day dawns for one beloved couple. 😢

_17_ _th_ _October 2014..._

The brightly coloured helium balloons and streamers floated around the room, the former having had their ribbons cut loose barely half an hour ago with the intent to set them free at the end of the party. The streams of coloured Christmas lights had been brought out of storage and were now shining over almost every surface in the room, creating the strange, yet beautiful, illusion of being inside a rainbow. The colours even seemed to deepen as the autumn sky outside darkened from the pale cloud-like grey to a deep crimson, shot with several shades of reds, pinks and oranges. The sun had sunk low now, but its rays still sent shots of golden light through the sky like shooting stars and cast a warm glow over the carpet, illuminating the crinkles in the coloured wrapping paper that was strewn everywhere and sending a flame-coloured glow over the white icing on the still uncut birthday cake, though the candles had long since been blown out by the birthday boy.

In any other circumstances, John knew that someone might have been surprised by the distress that he knew was apparent in his face and even more so that Ianto, usually the most meticulously tidy of men, was making no effort whatsoever to tidy the room, or at least to move the cake to the kitchen so that it could be stored in a tin for a later date. However, both of them were focused entirely on Nick, who was lying on the sofa, his eyes closed and his bright red hair standing out starkly against his too pale and too thin face.

John was kneeling by his side and had one of his partner's hands clasped in his as he gently stroked it, hoping that by doing so, he could impart some warmth into him and give him enough strength so that he could wake up again, even if it was just for a short while. But Nick's eyes stayed resolutely closed and his skin barely warmed at all. In fact, if it hadn't been for the very faint pulse he could feel when his fingers caressed Nick's wrist, John would have thought that his partner was already dead.

Fortunately, David and Catrin had left with the children as soon as it became clear what was going to happen. Catrin, of course, had been understandably reluctant at first, insisting that she needed the chance to say goodbye to her brother while she still could, but David had eventually convinced her, reasoning that the last thing Trevyn would need was to have his birthday marred by being forced to see his father in pain. Admittedly, John had also been a little concerned that the boy would not want to leave, but, as it turned out, he had gone quite contentedly, if a little sleepily, once his aunt had promised that he could open the rest of his presents when they got home, but that Nick was growing tired and needed his rest, but she had also said that hopefully, they could come around and see him tomorrow instead.

Jack had just come in from making a very important phone call. He tapped John on the shoulder. "He's on his way; said he can be here in ten minutes, less if he breaks the speed limits. I told him to do what he has to and just say it's Torchwood business if he gets into any problems, because he needs to get here straight away." He managed a small smile, though his face was drawn and pale. "I know that we knew it could have been any day now, but did it have to be today of all days? Surely, fate, or the Rift or whoever's watching up there could have just let little Trev have one last birthday celebration with his father?"

Ianto, who was kneeling at Nick's other side, scoffed, though it came out sounding more like a whimper. "Jack, you don't even believe in fate, do you?" he said. "And even if you did, you should know by now that it was never going to let us live in peace for any longer than it absolutely had to."

A small flapping noise sounded from behind them and John turned to see the aatiae flying into the room. Evidently, they had all realised, somehow, that something was very wrong, because their usual clear and cheerful chirps were nowhere to be heard. In fact, they were completely silent until one of the young blue females landed on Nick's forehead, where she brushed a wingtip over his skin and let out a soft, but pain-filled cry, her wings drooping and her head bowed as though she could sense that Nick was finally reaching the very end of his time on earth.

As though the touch had awakened something, Nick let out a small groan and his eyes flickered open. He blinked slowly and smiled up at them. "Hey," he said, his voice raspy. "Sorry…don't think I can get up this time…" He winced and bit his lip. "Hurts everywhere…" he gasped and then coughed suddenly, the motions making his body shake.

Jack hurried to get him a glass of water, while Ianto hushed him and smoothed his hair back, encouraging him to stay where he was and try to rest. Meanwhile, John went to answer the door and was greeted by a tall blonde whirlwind who almost bowled him over as he rushed inside, his eyes wild. Fortunately, Jack managed to catch his arm and stop him before he ploughed into the sofa.

"Wait," he whispered. "Just a few more seconds. There will be time, I promise."

Nick managed a tiny smile in their direction before turning back to Ianto and clasping his hand. "You'd better look after yourself, okay? I promise I will find a way to haunt you if you don't, got that?"

Apparently, Ianto had decided that now was not the right time to question the existence, or benevolence, of ghosts, despite this being a conversation that the cousins had had many times over the years, because he only nodded. "Don't worry, I promise. And I also promise I won't go getting myself killed in a hurry."

"Good." Now, Nick's attention turned to Jack, who let go of Dan's arm and came over to join them. "That goes for you too, you know. Remember what I told you…" he gasped and his body spasmed again, making him contort in pain. "Just…just because you're immortal…doesn't make you dispensable…you're not…never were.."

"Shh," Jack said softly, stroking Nick's hair back. "It's okay, Nicky, it's okay. You don't have to say anything."

"No Jack, I do. You…did so much for me, more than a boss would. You saved me…" He reached out and weakly grasped Jack's hand. "After Ali…you brought me back and gave me meaning…you gave me a family again. You didn't let me give up…and I'm so glad." He swallowed hard, his eyes glistening with tears.

"I meant it, you know," he said with a small smile. "You do so much good every day…for us here and for this planet. Don't…don't ever change."

Jack swallowed hard. "I'll…I'll try not to." He paused. "And you just…just be at peace, got it?"

"Soon." A single tear spilled down Nick's face as he held out his other hand. "Dan, come here."

John shoved his hands in his pockets as the blonde crossed the floor in two strides and cradled Nick's hand against his chest. Aside from not wanting to think about the history the two men shared, he knew better than to watch right now; this was a private moment between them. However, nothing could drown out their words.

"I just want you to know," Nick was saying. "There's a part of my heart…I could never give away again, no matter what happened. And…and all those times we shared…I won't ever forget."

"I know." It was obvious, even without having to look around, that Dan was crying. "I won't either. Nick, I never wanted to…I just…I panicked and…"

"I know. You don't have to explain, not now. Just – please be happy now. Give yourself that chance. You deserve it." He went very quiet for a while, but his next words were as clear as a bell.

"When…when the day comes…remember what I asked you to do, won't you? Just that one passage – you still have the book, don't you?"

John didn't understand what Nick was referring to, but when he finally turned around again, he saw Dan slowly get up, only pausing to briefly caress Nick's cheek, and start to leave. He gripped John's shoulder and gave him a meaningful nod as he walked past him, and then hurried out of the room without looking back, the front door closing loudly behind him.

Very slowly, as though his legs were filled with weights, John returned to his place by Nick's side. It seemed as though the younger man had grown weaker and more exhausted in the last few minutes alone. All the life and the energy he had always carried with him had drained out of him – even his bright hair had begun to almost look washed out – so much so that he seemed to barely even have the strength to look up at him, much less hold his hand. Even when he spoke, his voice cracked so much that it was barely even recognisable.

Jack cleared his throat then. "I'd better call the rest of the team," he said a little thickly. "Let them know what's going on. Ianto, with me."

Ianto nodded without a word and followed him, though John wasn't remotely fooled. Of course, they would need to let the rest of the team know the situation, but he knew that wasn't the only reason why they were going. But he wasn't going to call them on it, he was incredibly grateful that they were giving him these last few minutes alone with Nick; that was a luxury not many people working at Torchwood had. With a small sigh, he leaned over and kissed Nick's forehead, swallowing as he realised how clammy and cold he felt. "Hey," he said, as Nick looked up at him. "It's just me. The others are outside."

"John," gasped Nick, even as he tried and failed to sit up. "John, promise me something..."

"Don't strain yourself," said John quickly and leaned down; clearly, this was something Nick only wanted him to hear and not the others. "What is it?"

"Promise me," Nick's voice was fading, even as he spoke, "promise me that you won't leave straight away...that you'll at least stay for...for the..." but his voice trailed off and he ended up mouthing the final word, although John had no trouble making it out.

The funeral. He had suspected it earlier, especially when taking into account the exceptional amount of effort he'd put into organising Trevyn's eighth birthday party, but those words were all John needed for it to be confirmed. Despite everything, despite his persistence at putting on a brave face and trying to get on with his life, Nick had still known that his time was almost over.

"I promise," he found himself saying even as he cradled Nick gently in his arms.

Nick's smile in response was slow and almost brittle in its fragility and sorrow. "Then I can only ask one last thing of you," he choked out, visibly struggling to keep his eyes open. "Will you…could you…just now, in these last moments…can you just hold me? I want my last memory…my last thought to be of your arms around me. Please…just don't let me go, not yet."

John shuddered and held him even tighter, almost pulling him off the sofa and into his lap. "I would hold you forever if you asked it of me," he said, twirling his fingers through the strands of long hair. "Please, Nick, just save your strength and try to relax; don't let yourself get too exhausted from trying to talk. Just lie back and listen to me, okay? Focus on the sound of my voice."

But Nick was clearly not going to be put off. "I'm trying," he choked out. "I want to be brave like you, like Ianto and Jack and everyone else, but…I'm afraid. Not…not of dying, but…John I don't want you to be alone."

His eyes suddenly glazed over and seemed to take on a faraway look. "Please don't lose yourself in grief, John. However much time you still have here…I want you to try and be happy again. Don't…don't think…this, remember…the good times…our time…it was short, but…but we were happy."

He reached out with a shivering hand and touched the small dragon pendant that still hung around John's neck. "Keep it." BY now, his voice was breaking and tears were starting to leak out of his eyes. "Keep it and…know that…always with you…"

"Oh, god…" John's heart was cracking now and he was frantically choking on his own sobs. "God, Nick…I couldn't ever forget you. You're always going to be right here in my heart." He leaned across and kissed him, just for one last time, closing his eyes and allowing that feeling to burn into his memory.

Nick smiled, a tiny ghost of a smile, and looked up at him as the light of the moon began to reflect in his eyes. "I love you…"

John's mouth went dry as he tried to say it back. He had never not been able to say those words before, but this time they just seemed to get stuck in his throat and, instead, only two choked words escaped him.

"I know."

A sharp gust of wind from outside rattled the windows, causing one of them to fly open and send a freezing cold breeze through the room. Hesitant though he was to leave Nick, John got up to close it, but as he did so, he caught sight of the rising moon reappearing from behind a cloud and casting its cool light over the room once again. He shivered underneath it; even as he closed the window, the stark glow chilling him to the bone, telling him without words what he could not stand to acknowledge.

Shivering a little, he tore his gaze away, unable to watch any longer, and turned back to look at his husband, hoping somehow that he might reply – even with an exasperated chuckle or a snort and a mutter about John's lack of romantic ability. But the minute he saw his face, he knew that hope was gone. Nick was simply lying on the sofa, that tiny smile not quite faded from his lips and his eyes now blank and unseeing.

Slowly, feeling his own heart start to beat painfully, he knelt beside Nick and clasped his hand, bringing it to his lips one last time, before he caressed his forehead and gently closed his eyes, shutting out the soft hazel glow for the last time.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, his hand brushing over the rapidly cooling cheek. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you, but…but thank you for…" but the words just wouldn't come.

He moved so that he was sat on the edge of the sofa and brought Nick close to him so he could cradle him in his arms. Even knowing that there was no way for Nick to even be aware of this, he was intent on following through with the promise he had just made.

"I'll never let you go," he whispered, eyes half closed. "I promise." He rested his forehead against Nick's and held him close, rocking him very carefully, until a hand on his shoulder made him look around. He blinked slowly and looked up into the eyes of his boss and his lover. "Okay, look, now's not the time, all right? Whatever emergency's happened, it's going to have to wait."

Ianto was shaking his head as he spoke. "When…when you're ready, come to ours," he said. "You're staying with us for now."

He seemed to know that John did not have the energy or the inclination to argue, because he just gave his shoulder one last squeeze, touched the top of Nick's head and walked away again.

* * *

_Two days later…_

'Hi there, you've reached Nick's phone. I'm afraid I'm a bit tied up right now, but you can leave a message for me and I'll be sure to get back to you as soon as possible. Just wait for the beep!"

John shook his head as he hung up the phone again

He looked up and blinked slowly as Ianto entered the flat. "Back at work already then, I see?"

"The Rift doesn't care about your feelings, even when you've lost someone you love," replied Ianto with a tired shrug. "That's one of the first things you learn when you work at Torchwood."

John shrugged. He had no idea how Jack and Ianto could even face going back to work so soon after Nick's death. He knew, of course, that the Rift didn't exactly take days off and that there was definitely something to be said for keeping busy at a time like this, and he supposed that was what the other men were doing. He also knew that he should be at least trying to help out too, but he simply couldn't face it. His dreams were already filled with images of Nick's hand falling limply out of his grasp; the very last thing he could consider was going into the Hub and seeing everything there that would only serve to remind him of what could have been. He couldn't even stand to look Jack in the eye, thinking that, had he never brought Nick to Torchwood, he might still be alive today.

Ianto sat down opposite him. "I know how you feel."

"No, no you don't." The words came out sounding almost dead.

"Well…no, I don't, not exactly." Ianto bit his lip and looked down. "I don't know how it feels to lose your husband after so little time together. But I miss Nick too. He was…he was more than a friend or a cousin to me. He was like my brother. We grew up so close together and trusted each other with our lives – literally, as it turned out – and he was always right there for me, even at times when no one else was."

"I know." Absently, John tossed his mobile phone from hand to hand. "He was the same to me and more – so, so much more."

He stared at the phone and then hit the number he had dialled probably far too often in the last few hours alone. But before he could press the call button, Ianto swooped in and plucked the phone out of his hand. He tried to stand up to grab it back, but the younger man stopped him and pushed him back into the chair.

"Wow, you're being very forceful," John said, and almost flinched at how dull and flat the words sounded, so much so that he couldn't even bring himself to add the obligatory question of whether Jack knew just how forceful Ianto could be.

"I'm trying to help you," said Ianto, arms folded now. "I know you're hurting, but this? This is not doing you any favours and you know it."

John bit back a sob that was yearning to break free. "Ianto," he whispered, hating how badly his voice shook. "Ianto, please don't…I need him…"

"You miss him, I know. I get it. God knows after Lisa and even after Jack left to find the Doctor before, I would have done the same thing. I was desperate to hear their voices, even though I knew they would never pick up the phone and speak to me again. So, yes, I understand hoping that it might make a difference, might make them seem alive again, but the fact is, it doesn't change anything. It didn't stop Lisa being dead or bring Jack home any sooner, and it isn't going to bring Nick back to us either."

A painful shudder ripped through John, making him grip onto the arms of the chair so he wouldn't fall. "I don't want to forget him," he gasped out, still forcing back tears. "I can't."

"I know. And I would never ask you to. But you know that this is not going to help anyone, least of all you."

"What do you suggest I do then?" asked John, annoyance stirring inside him for the first time. "Just ignore it? Sweep it under the carpet and pretend that he never existed?"

"Of course not. But you need to start getting out again rather than staying sat in that chair all day. You don't have to come into work, but you have to do something – maybe just going to see Cat and the children or even getting into your car, driving off somewhere quiet and taking a long walk, just so you can clear your head a bit." He put John's phone on the table out of the way and leaned forwards to grip his arms and force him to look straight into his eyes. "Listen. I know how real your pain is and I know it's also incredibly raw, but sitting around staring at these four walls is not the way to heal. And, more importantly, you know that Nick would never have wanted to see you doing this.”

_Next Time: Nick's friends and family turn out to say their final goodbyes._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John faces one of the hardest days of his life.

_24_ _th_ _October 2014…_

It was a relatively warm day, but for John it felt as though the chill of winter had come all too early. He had not wanted to think about this moment for so long, though it had always been there in the depths of his mind, and now that it was actually here, he had no idea what to do. Of course, he was not unfamiliar with how it felt to lose a loved one – he remembered the loss of his mother all too easily – but this felt all too different. At the time that he had felt his husband breathe his last, he had thought that the heart-wrenching pain he had felt would never leave him. But today, all he felt was an emptiness, as though everything had been taken out of him. And, while it was an improvement on the agonising ache he had felt for days on end, it didn't make it any less disconcerting.

He wondered if these feelings, or lack thereof, were normal under these circumstances. But then again, everyone said that there was no normal when it came to grieving for someone you loved and it was true that he had seen people mourn in many different ways. Some people would openly wail and cry out in terrible pain, while others preferred to express their grief more silently in the arms of friends and family whom they trusted. He had also seen those who, like Ianto, were outwardly stoic and calm, though he knew that they would carry immense sorrow and turmoil inside them, though they were loath to reveal it, probably so that they wouldn't burden their loved ones.

Of course, he also knew well from personal experience how easily grief could turn someone who was once happy an loving into, quite frankly, a lunatic obsessed with revenge. He had already been driven from his own home because of something like that and was, in retrospect, very relieved that, so far, he had managed not to go down the same route.

A drop of water suddenly splashed on his cheek and then another on his nose and he started, wondering for a minute if he had caught himself crying, though his eyes still felt perfectly dry. But when he looked around properly, he realised that people were starting to put up umbrellas as, above his head, the sky turned black and rain began to pour. But John just ignored it. After all, how much more of an impact could an unexpected rainstorm have on a day that was already one of the darkest of his life anyway? With a shrug and a huff, he stalked through the graveyard and up to the front doors of the church.

Jack and Ianto were waiting for him, having apparently gone on ahead so that he could have those few minutes to gather his thoughts. Neither of them said a word, though Jack gripped his shoulder and squeezed it, the silent support meaning more than any words ever could.

John nodded, about to go inside, but before he could, he heard something. It was quiet, as though it had been muffled, but there could be no mistaking it. Sure enough, when he looked around, he saw it, almost hidden by the trees – the TARDIS.

Jack let out a gasp of shock at the sight and had to grab onto Ianto's arm to steady himself, but John didn't notice. His attention was entirely drawn to the all-too familiar tall figure in the long trenchcoat who had just stepped onto the grass. His fist clenched and he felt a strong surge of emotions building up inside him, with anger at the forefront. If there was anyone, besides Torchwood and the Rift who he could hold responsible for Nick's death, it was the new, and unwelcome, arrival.

Scowling, he turned back to the others and addressed Ianto. "Do you mind?" he asked, his teeth gritted. Admittedly, he didn't think there would have been any way to stop him, regardless of the answer.

But he need not have worried. Ianto looked almost as angry as he felt and he almost spat out his reply. "Be my guest."

For a split second, John waited to see if Jack was going to intervene, but when he didn't – and in fact seemed quite happy to focus on something in the opposite direction – he stormed over to where the TARDIS was parked, fury burning through his veins.

Apparently, the Doctor was not completely oblivious to the situation, because he took an abrupt step back and started to raise his hands in what he clearly thought was a placating gesture. He also opened his mouth to speak, but John was not prepared to take an ounce of notice. Half blinded by rage, he drew back his fist and allowed himself the satisfaction of seeing it crash straight into the Doctor's face. It hurt, probably more than it should have, but he could not have cared less. Instead, he grabbed the wincing and spluttering Time Lord by the front of his coat and, ignoring the whispers that had broken out, dragged him into the TARDIS, kicking the door shut with his foot and slamming him against the console.

"You should count your blessings that I have just enough scruples not to cause a huge scene on a day like this," he snarled, almost spitting through his teeth. "I don't know how you could dare show your face here after what you've pulled."

The Doctor hissed, but did not struggle. "I suppose telling you that a lot happened and my phone didn't charge would not make an acceptable response?" he asked and winced as John slammed him back onto the controls again. "No, right, didn't think so."

John growled at him. "We needed you," he spat out. "You could have helped him, but you didn't. You didn't even try – and you must have known what was going to happen – you're a fucking _time traveller_ , you bastard!"

He moved away and glared at the Time Lord. "Jack told me that you were an honourable person who always did the right thing, no matter what the cost. But you aren't, are you? Or if you are then it's only when it suits you, isn't it? Funny that, though, because it never tends to suit you when Jack's the one asking you for help, does it?" He paused for breath and then rounded on him again. "And yet, you seem more than happy to ask him for help when you need it, don't you?"

The Doctor started to get up very slowly. "John –"

"No!" John jabbed a finger at him. "No. This isn't even about Jack right now, okay? This is about _you_ and the fact that you didn't do the _one thing_ that you always promised to do! You said once that when aliens talk of Earth, they should remember that it is defended, but when you said that, I think you were quite happy to help with the big invasions, but you completely forgot about one dying man, because he just wasn't important enough to you, was he? Well, let me tell you something now, _Doctor_ – he was important to a hell of a lot of people here I've lost my husband now, my teammates have lost a colleague and a friend, Catrin has lost her brother and, more than that, two young children will have to grow up without their father. I hope you're happy with yourself." With a glare, he turned away and was about to leave when the Doctor finally spoke up.

"Don't you think for a minute that I made this decision lightly, John," he said, the tone of his voice surprising John so much he actually turned back around. Far from his usual cheerful and bright persona, he now sounded colder, almost angry, and yet defeated at the same time. "I know perfectly well just how much Nick meant to you and if it was possible to save him then I would have, but it wasn't. he had to die when he did, otherwise the consequences would have been far, far worse."

John folded his arms. "How?" he challenged. "Go on, tell me – on the day that I have to bury the love of my life – how could anything possibly be worse than that?"

"Well, do you think that the love of your life, as you called him, would have been happy to have sacrificed one, or both, of his children?" retorted the Doctor. "Because that is exactly what would have happened."

John stared, suddenly frozen. "You have got to be kidding me," he said. "Are you telling me that you would sacrifice a child – no, sacrifice Nick's own child – to make sure that he dies when he's apparently meant to?" He shook his head. "This is not a term I use often, but this time it fits, you sick, cold-hearted son of a bitch."

The Doctor's eyes blazed. "No, I wouldn't. But the Rift would have." He got up and paced about. "The Rift needs to be closed, John, you know that. And you also know that the prophecy says you are the one who has to do it. That is a fixed point in time, John – just like the Time War. It cannot be changed."

John glared harder. "If you tell me that Nick had to die because him being alive was all that was stopping me from fulfilling that prophecy, I swear I will regenerate you until you run out of lives."

"It had to happen, John." The Doctor appeared unmoved, but for a tiny flicker of something in his eyes that might have been sympathy. "If it doesn't happen, the consequences would be so terrible I don't think even you could imagine it – and before you ask, no I am not going to try you. Just take my word for it. The Rift needs to close, and it has to be done by you. If you don't," he stopped and sighed.

"If I don't…" John's stomach lurched in realisation. "Please don't tell me that Nick's children will be in danger if I don't do it." He shook his head when he saw the Doctor look away. "No. No way. That's not happening. Torchwood will find a way. We'll stop it."

The Doctor threw his hands in the air. "You _just don't get it_ , do you?" he snapped, evidently properly exasperated by now. "The Rift is extremely powerful. It will not rest until it has what it wants – taken by force if it comes to that. If you don't do what you're supposed to do, then those children will lose more than their father. They will lose their lives – and so will millions of other people in the future."

He came over and rested a hand on John's shoulder. "I know your pain is very real and I do wish I could have saved him and spared you this, but I could never ask you, or Jack, to make the choice between someone you love and your own child." He smiled bitterly. "It's not a choice I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy, and I would rather have spared you the choice and had you hate me than force you to make the choice and end up hating yourself."

John was about to open his mouth and say something, but before he could, the door of the TARDIS opened and Jack stuck his head inside. "Sorry to interrupt," he said, pointedly not looking at the Doctor. "John, everyone's inside. It's time."

"Right." John gulped and shoved his hands into his pockets, about to follow Jack. At the last minute, however, he paused. "I will do what's right to keep this planet safe," he said without turning around. "I made that promise when I joined Torchwood and I will stand by that. But you have made an innocent man who had so much left to give to this world nothing more than collateral damage. And I, for one, will never forgive you for that."

Without waiting for a reply, without even going back to look at the Doctor, he exited the TARDIS and nodded to Jack. "All right then," he said, marvelling that his voice did not shake too much. "Let's go and say a final goodbye to someone who should never have died in the first place.

If Jack had anything to say in response to that, he clearly thought better of it and caught up a minute later without a word, though he did take John's hand. The two of them exchanged a look at the whirring sound of the TARDIS departing and nodded; if the Doctor never came to Cardiff again, even that would not have been enough time for him to have earned any sort of forgiveness. The Time Lord would certainly have to find another Rift to refuel at in the future.

* * *

Inside the church, everyone was seated in the pews in almost complete silence, simply listening to the low notes of music coming from the nearby radio. No one seemed to know how to react to the situation, what they could possibly say or do. A few times, someone would start to get up as though they wanted to offer condolences, but they quickly sat down again without saying a word. There was simply nothing that they could say after all. It would change nothing. Nick would still be dead.

Either way, John found it easier to just ignore them all. He sat down in the front row, feeling all the heat and fury from his confrontation with the Doctor drain from him, leaving behind a terrible hollowness. It gnawed away at him painfully, though he dared not show it. Instead, he focused on looking everywhere except at the coffin in front of them surrounded by the floral tributes, each of them a different one of Nick's favourite books. He knew that his own pieces – _The Kite Runner_ and _The White Dragon_ – were there, displayed in pride of place, but he could not stand to see them. Even knowing that they were there was too much. It made him realise that this had really happened, that there was no way that they could bring Nick back, or even if there was, no one would be willing to try it, in case it brought about a new disaster.

He did, however, notice that the church was packed out, busier than he thought he had ever seen it, even during Christmas carol services. Several people even appeared to be standing up, though it seemed that they did not care; they simply wanted to come and pay their last respects. Who most of them were, John had no idea, but he could see most, if not all, of Nick's former colleagues, including, to his surprise, Sam and Ryan sat in the fourth row with Ryan's young nephew Killian. They both looked pale and shocked and Sam, at least, seemed very keen to avoid John's eyes.

He was wasting his energy looking awkward, though; John had no desire at all to go and start another row with him. He still didn't know exactly what had transpired between his husband and the Scotsman on Christmas Day, but it hadn't exactly appeared friendly, though there was also little in the way of hostility. A small part of him wondered if they had managed to resolve their differences before things had gotten so bad, but he doubted it. He might not know Sam that well, but he could tell that the man was as stubborn as the proverbial mule, even when he knew deep down that he was wrong.

But he didn't have much longer to brood. The music suddenly grew silent and everyone became still as the priest came out, his head bowed and his eyes slightly closed. He paused by the coffin and a look of pain flashed across his face as he shook his head, much to John's surprise; apparently, the man had known Nick too, or he was thinking how much of a waste it was to have to bury someone so young. John himself agreed, though he knew that Nick was not the first, nor would he be the last, Torchwood employee to meet his death at an early age.

The priest cleared his throat and began to speak, but John tuned him out. He had no desire at all to listen to some stranger give the standard spiel about how kind, brave and compassionate his husband had been. No one knew that better than he did after all and, given the chance, he would happily have gotten up there and told everyone that himself. On the other hand, he was well aware that starting an argument with a 'man of the cloth' was never going to go over well. Even so, it was a fight for him not to actually get up and utter some very choice words when the priest remarked that Nick was with God now. The idea of someone being in a better place had not been a comfort to him in the past and it certainly was not a comfort now.

_He should be here with us, not up there with some old guy in white with a beard!_

A soft snort came from behind him made him look around and he saw that Dan, even though his eyes were bright with tears, had his hand over his mouth, clearly muffling a chuckle. He was confused for an instant until he noticed that he had attracted a few scandalised looks from some older members of the congregation and realised that he had spoken out loud. He shrugged; he had not spoken a lie and was certainly not going to take it back either. After all, what kind of a merciful god would have taken someone like his husband when so many people loved him and needed him? Never mind the fact that he was helping to keep the planet safe, he had a family for goodness sake! Hadn't it been enough for the children to lose their mother in such tragic circumstances? Did they have to lose their father too? He scowled and stared at his hands. It definitely wasn't fair, but then again, in what universe was anything fair?

He was so lost in his thoughts that he almost missed the priest finally finishing his chatter and calling Dan up to the stand. He sat up straighter; this was something he was more interested in – someone who actually knew Nick doing something that he had wanted rather than just using it as some excuse to advertise how great their faith was. Honestly, he had no idea why he had allowed Nick's more conservative relatives to steamroll him and insist on a church funeral. Nick might have gone to church at Christmas and Easter, but he certainly wasn't what anyone would call religious. He had supposed it might have given his family some comfort which, at the time, it had seemed cruel to deny them – not that he had been in the mood to plan very much for it anyway – but now it just seemed like a load of pomp and pageantry that he would have hated. Still, what was done was done, he supposed.

He watched as Dan cleared his throat, his eyes fixed on Nick's coffin and his voice trembling as he spoke. "This passage is from one of Nicky's and my favourite books," he said. "He asked me…a long time ago if I would read it at his funeral and, well, of course I could never say no to him." He uttered a choked laugh, opened the book and began to read.

 _"_ _On the ninety-third evening of Winter in the Dragon Year 737, Andry died._

_Only his father was with him. When Chay opened the shutters wide, Andry seized the last sunlight – or it seized him. No one would ever know._

_For a few moments it seemed the light had healed him. He looked into Chay's eyes and smiled, 'I've been remembering,' he murmured. 'All the colours…so bright…so good…it's all right, you know. I'm not afraid. Tell Mother that.'_

_'_ _I will.' Light danced around him, glimmering even in Chay's mind."_

John found himself frowning, even as he listened to the soft words. He remembered how often Nick had said that he sometimes saw lights surrounding him, white light splitting into millions of colours, almost calling out to him with their brightness and beauty. He wondered – had Nick known even then that he was going to die? Was this what happened when you died? Thinking about the sheer vulnerability in his face as the end approached, he somehow found it hard to believe. It seemed far too beautiful and peaceful for someone who had fought his fate with every fibre of his being, never giving in even at the end.

 _"'_ _And how much I love you…and my children…is Tobren – was she here?'_

 _'_ _Yes. Don't worry; we'll take care of all of them.' As shining eyes sought the sun, Chay said, 'Maarken and Hollis want them to live at Whitecliff.'_

 _'_ _Yes,' Andry said slowly, as if from a vast distance. 'But let Andrev…stay with Tilal…'_

_Chay replied, 'Of course,' for Andry didn't know that his firstborn was dead. He groped desperately for something else to say, something that would keep Andry with him just a small, selfish second longer. Stilling the need, he stroked the smooth brow, watching the smile strengthen and the light glow in blue eyes._

_'_ _Sleep now. I love you my son,' he whispered as the light and Andry died."_

Inexplicably, John's thoughts then turned to the memory of his father-in-law. He had wondered about what the kind-hearted yet enigmatic man would have said if he had been alive today. He knew that he would have been proud of the brave young man his son had turned out to be, and that both Nick and Catrin had given a lot of thought to their deceased father, wondering about how things could have been different if their mother had not left him and he had not lost his children. Even without his wife, if he had still had his son and daughter with him, maybe he could have lived a happier and more peaceful life with them rather than spending all those years incarcerated in Providence Park.

By his own admission, John had not always been a great advocate for the concept of, as he'd heard it called, 'the straw that broke the camel's back'. He was familiar with it, obviously, but he had always held a dose of scepticism for it. Now, though, things were different. He had finally found someone who he would have risked tearing apart the universe for, Jack's opinion be damned. And now that he was gone…he shivered a little, remembering his still all-too-real alarm at the thought that losing Nick could drive him back to being the man he knew he never wanted to be again.

Apparently, just like his father-in-law, he had reached his point of no return. Now, the only question was how he was going to react to it. He didn't want to fall apart with grief, but neither did he want his anger at the injustice of the whole situation to come out explosively, and cause him to try and destroy Cardiff again. Jack might have forgiven him the first time and even given him a place on the team, but he was under no illusions about what the consequences would be if he did anything like that again, regardless of his reasons.

The priest cleared his throat suddenly, making John and several of the others jump in surprise; apparently, Dan had finished speaking a little while ago and was now watching him with eyes red and swollen from crying. He waved, silently indicating the podium and John nodded, feeling a sense of understanding pass between the two of them for the first time.

He marched to the front of the church and unfolded the piece of paper in his pocket. His green eyes focused on the congregation, taking in the multitude of expressions on their faces. Some were sympathetic, others scrutinising and some even openly glared at him. Others merely looked curious, wondering what he might say. He nodded and decided to put them out of their misery, pressing a button on his wrist strap, gritting his teeth at the heavy drum and guitar riff that echoed softly around the church, and then took his place, ready to speak.

"I know it's not exactly traditional, but I make no apologies for the choice of music today," he said. "Or for saying that, while I'm sure there are people here who knew Nick for far longer than I did, I think I can say that I knew him better than most of you."

_This Romeo is bleeding._   
_But you can't see his blood._   
_It's nothing but some feelings_   
_That this old dog kicked up._

_It's been raining since you left me._   
_Now I'm drowning in the flood._   
_You see I've always been a fighter_   
_But without you I give up._

"That is not to say that none of you here loved him, because I know that you did. And you were all right to. He was a truly special young man in so many ways. He was…well, he was as stubborn as a bulldog and as fierce as a dragon when their nest is disturbed. He had no qualms about telling you the truth, even when that truth was that you had spent hours talking total bullshit and generally making a complete idiot out of yourself."

A few people huffed disapprovingly, but he ignored them. "But he was right, if not every time, ninety-nine times out of a hundred. And, occasionally, didn't mind reminding you of it. I've been on the receiving end of his 'I told you so' looks more times than I could possibly count, though, I admit, I didn't always learn from them." He smoothed the pages out again and looked down, but to his horror, he realised that the words were blurring in front of his eyes. He swallowed and blinked. "I…well, I mean, Nick was…"

_Now I can't sing a love song_   
_Like the way it's meant to be._   
_Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore,_   
_But baby, that's just me._

_And I will love you, baby – Always_   
_And I'll be there forever and a day – Always_   
_I'll be there till the stars don't shine,_   
_Till the heavens burst and_   
_The words don't rhyme_   
_And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind._   
_And I'll love you – Always_

He stopped short and shook his head with an almost brittle laugh that he could hardly believe came out of his mouth. "I'm not apologising for a lot of things today, it seems," he said and screwed the paper up in a ball and tossed it into the congregation where Rupesh caught it, a look of shocked bemusement on his face. "Well, here's another one. I was supposed to come up here and do the usual thing of saying a few nice things for my husband, probably have a cry and all that. I even had a full speech prepared. But do you know what? Nick wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want me to stand here and tell you all that the sun shone out of his every orifice."

_Now your pictures that you left behind_   
_Are just memories of a different life,_   
_Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry_   
_One that made you have to say goodbye._   
_What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair_   
_To touch your lips, to hold you near._   
_When you say your prayers try to understand_   
_I've made mistakes, I'm just a man._

"He would want me to tell you all those stories about how stubborn he could be, even to the point of going into work right at the end so that our boss had to find him collapsed on the floor. He'd want me to tell you about shouting at the latest nutter to invade our city and telling them exactly where they could shove their invasions. He'd probably even want me to tell you the story of how he burned a salad, though, quite frankly, I'm still not quite sure how he managed that one. And you know what else? He'd want everyone here to know how often that firecracker temper of his could get him into trouble, but that his charm and quick wit would always be there to get him out of it. Everyone always said that he was the gentle, kind one who rehabilitated the local psychopath. And yes, I won't deny that he helped me become a better person, but he could be just as fierce and cold as I was. He had nerves harder than diamond and a tongue sharper than a poisoned blade - and, believe me, I've been on the receiving end of those more than a few times."

_When he holds you close, when he pulls you near._   
_When he says the words you've been needing to hear,_   
_I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine_   
_To say to you till the end of time_

_Yeah, I will love you baby – Always_   
_And I'll be there forever and a day – Always_

He couldn't hold back a rather harsh laugh at the shocked looks his words were receiving. "Wow. Didn't know that, did you? Always thought he was so calm and docile and passive, didn't you? I'd say I'm sorry to disappoint you, but, once again, I'm not. I said I wasn't going to make him out to be a paradigm of virtue and gentleness and I'm not - because that's not who he was. And I'm glad of it. I'm glad that he showed me that side of him, that I knew him - all of him. In every way it's possible to know someone. And if I could, I would rip the universe apart to bring him back." He rolled his eyes at the gasps of shock that followed. "But I am going to say this and I think it would be with his blessing. If there is a god up there, out there or wherever, then he had _better_ watch himself. He took someone from us, someone who still had so much love to give us, someone who made this grim and tired world a brighter place, who has, at one time or another, saved the lives of every single person in this room - including mine, over and over again. And I swear, I won't ever forgive him for that."

_If you told me to cry for you,_   
_I could._   
_If you told me to die for you,_   
_I would._   
_Take a look at my face._   
_There's no price I won't pay_   
_To say these words to you._

He turned to face Nick again and caressed his hair softly, a sad smile crossing his face as the anger and adrenaline that had flared up inside him suddenly drained away. "The point I'm trying to make is that, if I had just gotten up here and crumpled up and made some tearful speech about how kind and caring and compassionate he was, he would be groaning and rolling his eyes at me. It's true that he was all of those things. No one can deny that. But he was so, so much more than that, and we should remember that, because everything I said is all a part of who he is. We'd be doing him a massive disservice if we didn't acknowledge that. So, with that said," he looked up, "remember him. In everything you do. Remember that funny, fiery, amazing man who lit up your life for far too brief a time. Remember Nick."

He bent down and kissed Nick's lips one last time, running his fingers over the cool pale cheek. "It's time for you to rest now," he whispered. "I hope you find peace." Closing his eyes and pressing his forehead against Nick's, holding his hand for one last time before he finally tore himself away and returned to his seat. He didn't react when Jack reached over and gripped his shoulder.

If the priest was shocked by what had just transpired, he did an exceptional job of not showing it; clearly he had had some experience with friends and relatives of the dead wanting to get their thoughts out into the open, whatever they may be. He simply cleared his throat and continued with the service, not that John was listening to him. His mind was completely taken up by the song still echoing through the church, but he was glad of it; anything to distract him from the sight of Nick's coffin slowly vanishing behind the heavy purple curtains. He clenched his fists, not wanting to look at it, but finding himself unable to turn away. He almost felt as though he had to look, as if this was the last opportunity he wpuld have to be with Nick. Dimly, he realised that the church was starting to empty until he was finally left alone with Jack.

_Well, there ain't no luck_   
_In these loaded dice._   
_But baby if you give me just one more try_   
_We can pack up our old dreams_   
_And our old lives._   
_We'll find a place where the sun still shines_

Almost on cue, he noticed that Jack was reaching out to put a hand on his shoulder, but he moved away and stood up, not wanting to be distracted right then. instead, he rushed back to the front of the church, stopping dead in front of the curtains through which the coffin had just disappeared. He closed his eyes and felt his body start to sag slightly, rubbing his hand over his face as his heart shattered and dropped like a stone. Even now, at the eleventh hour, he had hoped and prayed that this would still turn out to be a terrible joke or a nightmare, that Nick would walk through the church doors, healthy and with that bright smile on his face as he rushed up and took John in his arms and claimed him with a deep and loving kiss.

But that last hope had now gone, if it had ever been there at all.

_And I will love you, baby – Always_   
_And I'll be there forever and a day – Always_   
_I'll be there till the stars don't shine_   
_Till the heavens burst and_   
_The words don't rhyme_   
_And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind_   
_And I'll love you – Always_

As the last notes of the song faded away, John slowly opened his eyes and turned around, trying to arrange his face into something that might resemble calmness. But even withoutn lookking up, he knew that Jack, at least, had not been fooled; the older man's grip on his shoulder was too fierce and almost desperate for that. In fairness, though, Jack himself did not seem to be doing much better. He looked to all intents and purposes as though he had aged at least twenty years in the last hour alone. His face was drawn and almost grey-looking and his eyes were glazed over and the unshed tears looked to have drained all the colour from them. His mouth opened a little, but he didn't say anything, for which John had to admit he was extremely thankful. After all, there really was nothing that anyone could say that would make any difference, and Jack obviously knew it.

Shaking his head, John rubbed his hand back across his face, dashing away any stray wetness from his eyes, turned on his heel and swept out of the church. The rain had long since stopped and now the sun was trying to peep out from behind the still heavy grey clouds, but he didn't notice it. He needed to get out, get away, this wasn't right. His chest felt tight and painful and he knew that he had to get away from there, though where he was going, he neither knew nor cared; he just kept on walking, even though it got to the point where he couldn't even make out the path in front of him. Dimly, as though through a badly tuned radio, he heard some sort of argument going on, but he felt no curiosity to investigate it. Nothing mattered to him now, not any more, not when all that was left was the cold numb emptiness inside his heart. Even when he saw Jack catch up to him and grab onto his arm to turn him around, all he managed was a vague acknowledgement that running out on his husband's funeral - which, he would admit, was what he was about to do - was not the right way to handle things. He huffed and nodded stiffly, eventually allowing his friend to lead him back the way he had come - back to lay his husband to rest.

* * *

_Next Time: Everyone gathers for the wake._


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Family and friends gather for the wake. Memories are shared.

Wow," Jack said, staring around the room. "When you said that Cat and Ianto had cooked enough to feed a Chabredian army, you really weren't joking. No wonder I've hardly seen anything of him recently."

"Yes, well, when you lose someone you love, you keep busy, don't you?" John retorted, though he had to admit, it did look a little like people had gone slightly overboard. Still, cooking to probably feed thousands was undoubtedly a better coping mechanism than several he had seen - and, for that matter, used - over the years.

Before he could say anything to that effect, though, Catrin came into the room with a man who John belatedly realised was her cousin, George; apparently, he had been there at the funeral, though John hadn't actually had the opportunity to talk to him. He smiled vaguely at them, his eyes soft and sad. John nodded to him and asked him quietly where his father was.

"He's on his way." The younger man put a plate of what looked like mini quiches down on the table. "He told me and Helen to just come on ahead and he'd catch us up, but there was something he wanted to take care of first. He didn't look too happy about it either."

Helen emerged from the kitchen and rolled her eyes at her brother's words. "And we both know that there are only two people who could make him that annoyed and Mum isn't here, so -" but she trailed off when George gave her a sharp look. "Well, anyway, I imagine he'll be here soon."

John briefly wondered if he should ask for more details. He felt vaguely curious after all, but then he caught the uncomfortable looks the trio was exchanging and thought better of it. After all, he reminded himself, they were there for a reason and it certainly wasn't so that he could satisfy any lingering inquisitiveness about his deceased husband's family.

* * *

The wake seemed to go on forever. Even with everyone there milling around together, eating, talking and reminiscing, John had not felt this alone since he was a small boy. Even when people would come over to talk to him, he could not stop himself from looking around to try and find Farid, which meant that he was inevitably left alone again.

For his part, seemed entirely intent on staying as far away from John as he possibly could, though he would keep darting little looks in his direction when he thought John wasn't looking at him, never lingering long enough though, and frequently turning to make conversation with someone else. John did notice, however, that, after a while, began to look increasingly uncomfortable and confused. More than once, it actually seemed like he might make his way over to where John was sitting, only for him to then stop, shake his head and abruptly turn in the opposite direction. John sighed and rubbed his forehead, staring down at the table and tracing the grooves in the wood.

Suddenly, a glass of wine was placed in front of him and he looked up to see Catrin, a glass of fizzy water in her hand, standing next to him. "Mind if I join you?" she asked cautiously.

"Sure." John pulled out a chair for her. "How're you holding up?"

"Oh, you know, I've been better." She touched her stomach again. "I suppose I've got to keep it together for this one's sake." She bit her lip and took a deep breath, swallowing a mouthful of water with it. "How are you?"

John frowned at her. "Me?"

"Well, he was your husband. You knew him a hell of a lot better than I did by the end."

John stared into his wine glass, watching the contents swirling around. "I guess…it's just hard to believe that he's really gone," he admitted. "It just…"

Catrin nodded. "I know. It just doesn't seem right. Everything was going so well, he had you, he had a job he loved and he was happy…" Her voice cracked and she reached into her bag for a tissue. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"No, no, don't be." John reached over to take her by the hand. "You're right. He should still be here with us, cracking his stupid jokes."

"And downing lemonade like there was no tomorrow." Catrin let out a choked laugh. "I would have rolled my eyes at him, but really? I don't think I'd have changed him for anything, no matter how much of a thrill-seeking hellraiser he turned out to be."

"You know, he's probably watching us right now and shouting at us to stop being so bloody maudlin," remarked John. "Hell, he's probably trying to find someone he can throw a party with as we speak."

This time, Catrin laughed properly. "Yes, that definitely sounds like Nick. He was one hell of a guy."

"He really was, wasn't he? Really one of a kind." John downed half of his drink.

"And so are you." Catrin's voice went very soft. "It really took a lot of courage for you to get up there and throw the funeral rule book out of the window like that – he would have loved it, he really would. I wish I could have done it, but I couldn't have gotten through it without blubbing my eyes out."

John's fingers tightened around the stem of his glass. "It just…it needed to be said," he confessed. "I probably pissed off most of your remaining relatives, though."

"There's a reason for that, you know. It felt right because it was right, and don't let anyone tell you any different." Suddenly, she grinned. "And I think a lot of people have actually been saying the same thing. I certainly know that my aunt and uncle did, and at some length too. And, for what it's worth, if anyone didn't like it, then I hope the door doesn't hit them too hard on the way out."

John smiled. "Thanks. That means a lot."

"You were right, you know. You knew him best out of everyone in this room, John. If anyone had the right to say those words, it would have been you. More than anyone."

"More than Ianto?" He felt as though asking that was petty, but he needed to know one way or another.

Catrin paused to consider that. "Honestly? A few years ago, I'd have said no. I would never have thought that anyone could have known my brother better than Ianto did.”

"Oh." John frowned. "I didn't know that." He chewed his lip and shrugged. "You learn something new every day, don't you?"

Catrin's mouth twitched. "Is that a bit of envy there that he didn't tell you about?" She hit him gently on the arm. "It is, isn't it? Well, there's no need for that. You were always his number one, got it?"

"Ow." John rubbed his arm and tried to huff, but it came out as a chuckle. "Yes, ma'am, I've got it."

"Good. Because I'd hate to have to hurt you." She chuckled and kissed him quickly on the cheek and patted his hand. "Besides, my child needs to know his uncle, and who better to tell those stories than his number one godfather?"

John had just taken a sip of wine and nearly choked on it when Catrin said that. "What…you mean me?"

"No, I meant other friend who I've just been talking to." She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Of course I meant you, you daft sod. There's no one else I could think of who'd be better."

"Wow. I'm honoured." It was true, he definitely was; honoured and very surprised. Of all the people Catrin could have asked to be godfather to her child, he would definitely not have put himself on the list, all things considered. "But…Cat, what I do on a daily basis, it's dangerous. Really dangerous. I could go out and get killed any day of the week and -"

"You could go out any day and get run over by a car as well," interrupted Catrin. "None of us know what's going to happen one day to the next. It's no reason to not take a chance, John. I mean, I made my brother Michelle's godfather and at that time, I thought he was dead. And even now, even if I could go back and make a different decision knowing what I know now is going to happen, I wouldn't. You know why? Because I knew that, whatever happened, he was the best man for the job. Just like he knew Ianto was the best man to be Trev's godfather, even though he worried endlessly about whatever it was he did in London." She placed her hand over John's and squeezed it. "And I know you're the best man for this job, whatever happens. So, just forget what might come and say yes, all right?"

"I'm very flattered to hear it." Still, John knew he shouldn't accept the offer. It was all very well for Catrin to tell him that he had to take the risk; she had absolutely no idea what was coming for him in the very near future and just how unsuitable a choice for godfather that would make him! But he also knew that he could not very well turn her down without some sort of explanation, especially not today, so he just gave her a small smile and told her he would have to think about it. It was clear from the way her eyes dimmed that this was not the answer she had wanted to hear, but she did not argue, just gave his hand a quick squeeze and moved off to talk to someone else.

But the space she left was not empty for long as her uncle came over and dropped into the chair. "My niece wasn't the only one who liked your speech," he said, his usually soft Australian twang coming through thicker than normal. "Don't start second-guessing yourself over it, okay? I know that you, especially, don't believe in that, and we both know Nick didn't either."

"Easier said than done sometimes," retorted John. "Especially when at least half of the congregation are watching you as if they'd like nothing more than to turn you into a pile of ash with their eyes."

Lucas snorted. "I'd certainly love to have seen them try. But, seriously, fuck 'em. It's their problem if a bit of straight-talking is too much for them, not yours."

He took another swig of his beer as John watched him curiously. "George and Helen said you ran into someone earlier," he commented carefully. "I know that now isn't really the time to ask, but -"

"My sister. Ciara." Lucas gave him a grim smile as he almost spat the name out. "You're lucky with how little you had to deal with her; I don't imagine she'd have been much of a treat as a mother-in-law, because she certainly left a lot to be desired as a sister."

"I can't say I'm too surprised, considering that by all accounts she wasn't much of a mother either." It was probably a bit crass to be saying something like that about someone's sister, but John didn't care and, at any rate, Lucas didn't seem remotely offended. "Why did she even marry their father?" he blurted out. "I mean, she had to have known from the start that he wasn't exactly rich."

"Oh, she did know. And, at the time, I honestly believed she married him because she loved him. I always knew my family were poisonous - it was the reason I left after all - but I never would have believed that she would become just like them. I can't even believe she had the nerve to turn up at the bloody church and spout all that bile, today of all days! She didn't have the time for her children when her son was alive, for fuck's sake, did she really think it would be alright for her to turn up like this now that he's dead?!"

"Well, judging by her absence here, I'm going to assume you had no problems with making sure she wasn't welcome," said John in as neutral a tone as he could manage, considering that his insides were now burning with fury at the sheer audacity of the woman's actions. He could still remember her reaction to the news that he was going to marry her son and the look on Nick's face as the terrible words had exploded from her lips, the hatred all to visible in her eyes.

He stood up suddenly, aware that his hands had clenched into fists. "Sorry," he muttered to Lucas, who looked a little startled. "I…I need some air." Without waiting for another word, he rushed out the back door and into the garden where he leaned back against the wall, ripping off his tie and throwing it onto the ground, spitting out as many curses as he could think of in a wide variety of languages.

"Wow, I'm not sure there's anyone here who could understand half of that invective, though I entirely agree with the sentiment."

"Yeah, well, you don't look much better," retorted John, swivelling around to glare at the tall man, whose eyes were, he now realised, even redder and more swollen than they had been during the service. "How long have you even been out here?"

Dan shrugged. "I needed some space to think. It's been…well." He let out a choked laugh. "It's been one hell of a day."

"Hey, you weren't the one who buried your partner today, be thankful for that. Speaking of which, where is he?"

"Work called, they needed him for something. And, no, I didn't bury my partner, but I did have to say goodbye to one of my oldest and closest friends and, believe me, that's not much easier." He sat down on the patio and ran his fingers through his hair, making it stick up even more than it usually did.

John sighed, shook his head, shrugged and eventually sat down next to him. "You still think about him a lot, don't you?"

"Especially lately, yeah." Dan rubbed a hand over his eyes. "i mean, things are getting more serious with Rupesh now and, you know, it's going really well - or I thought it was. But lately, it's like all I can think about is everything Nicky and I shared in the past and all the memories we made, and I've caught myself wondering what could have been if -" he cut himself off abruptly and wiped his eyes. "Sorry, this is really stupid and you're probably the last person I should be saying it to."

"I once told you that I thought I should hate you just because you'd been with Nick before either of you even knew I was going to exist," said John with a shrug. "I'm fairly sure that pretty much obliterated most known personal boundaries before they could even be built." He smiled wryly. "Look, Dan, there is something to be said for the idea that, even when time passes and things change, we never truly manage to forget our first love. We might not want to admit it, but it's true - and that, believe it or not, is okay. It's normal to look back on your memories fondly and remember the past, especially now, when you -" he stopped and coughed against the lump suddenly burning in his throat. "Well. You know. Point is, all that's fine. It doesn't mean that what you have now with Rupesh is any less meaningful. It doesn't mean that you can't be just as happy with him. It just means," he stopped again, unable to find the right words.

"I know." Dan's voice had gone very quiet. "It just means I've got a past and, let's face it, there's hardly anyone these days who hasn't is there?"

John stared at him for several seconds; somehow, the younger man had known exactly what he had been thinking. "Yep. And Rupesh knows that, he's not stupid. He knows he might not be the person you imagined spending the rest of your life with, but you know what? That's okay. I mean, I sure as hell did not imagine my life turning out the way it did." He gripped Dan's shoulder and forced him to turn and look at him. "Stuff happens, Dan. It's messy and terrifying and brilliant and crazy and sometimes it really sucks. We can't help that, but we can help what we do about it. Because you know what? It is what it is."

Dan snorted. "Is that meant to make me feel better?"

"Nope. It's meant to tell the truth. If it's a cheerleader you're after, you're looking at the wrong Time Agent." He stood up abruptly and stalked back inside where he found Jack and Ianto in the kitchen. Without more than a cursory check to make sure no one was watching, he looked his former lover straight in the eye and said. "I'm ready. I want you to help me leave."

Jack swallowed slightly, but he nodded. "If you're sure?"

"Completely sure." Without waiting for another word, he started to walk away, only for Ianto to follow him and grab his arm. He groaned and glared at the younger man who was watching him almost as if he was disappointed. "What?"

Ianto shrugged. "Nothing. It's just you never struck me as the sort of person who ran away from their problems."

John let out a bark of laughter. "You're forgetting, it wasn't so long ago that running away from my problems was exactly what I did all the damn time. But this time, I'm not. I'm doing what I have to do to give the people I care about a better chance for the future."

_Next Time: We've finally come to the finale and one of our friends finally reaches the end of his journey._


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The finale is here, and a long journey has come to a bittersweet end

_31_ _st_ _October, 2014, 7:30pm…_

"John," Jack gripped his arm tightly and turned him around to face the rest of the team. "I know you're grieving now and I understand how hard all this is, but –"

"Don't say it." John was startled by how deadened his voice sounded, as if Nick's death had sapped every breath of life from him. "Don't tell me I can't leave like this." _Not when you would have done exactly the same thing._

"John," Jack took his hand cautiously, his voice almost pleading. "Please stay."

"Will staying here bring Nick back?"

This time, Jack looked truly anguished. "John, you know that there's nothing –"

"Then there's nothing for me here." John pulled his hand out of Jack's. "Ianto can handle all the technical stuff at Torchwood and you've got plenty of doctors here to patch you up when you run into trouble. There's no reason for me to stay any more."

"That's not true." This time, it was Declan who spoke, his usually cheerful expression having given way to one of deep sorrow. "John, I know it seems like there's nothing left to live for. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel that way after I lost Brian."

John snarled. "Don't try and compare yourself to me," he hissed in a voice that was suddenly so vicious that Declan backed away. "Every day, I wake up and I reach out for him, wanting to hold him and kiss him – but then my hand drops over the side of his sofa," he pointed at Jack, "and I remember. And I feel so empty and cold inside." He rubbed his forehead almost violently. "So, just spare me the 'I know how you feel' lines, Dr. Hamilton, because you have absolutely no idea what it's like to lose the love of your life!"

Emily touched Declan's shoulder before she tried to talk. "John, do you really think Nick would want this? Do you really think he would want you to leave like this?"

"Yes, I do," said John simply. "There's nothing left for me now – all I can do is make my final move…and do what I know is right this time. I only stayed for as long as I did, because I knew that Nick would have wanted me to." He thought back to what his husband had whispered to him as he lay dying in his arms. "I once promised that I wouldn't deny a dying man or woman their last request for anything. And I have done what Nick asked me to do." Briefly, he closed his eyes. "But now there's nothing left for me here…not when everything and everyone I see reminds me of him." He clasped his hands together. "And not when I have a duty to fulfil, for the sake of us all – one that I should have fulfilled a long time ago." With these words, he fixed everyone in the room with a slow and intense gaze and saw Jack's eyes widen in sudden understanding.

Emily sighed. "There's really nothing we can say or do that can make you change your mind over this, is there?"

"No," answered John. Even if Nick had still been alive, he knew that, one day the day would come when he would have to go. Losing Nick had just made him realise that he wanted that day to come sooner rather than later so he could get away from the memories.

With a last nod, he turned and, ignoring the quiet sobs that he knew were coming from Jack, he walked through the cog door, along the dark corridors and into the Tourist Office, where Ianto was sitting behind the desk. He looked up and sighed.

"You're going, then."

John didn't dignify the words with an answer. "How much time do I have?"

If Ianto was surprised by the abruptness of the tone John used, he didn't show it. Instead, he simply tapped at the Rift monitor he was carrying. "You have an hour and a half," he said finally. "I've been using the Rift manipulator we found the other week to try and bring it forward safely, since…since it happened." He shook his head. "But this is as close as I can bring it."

John nodded. "Where will it flare up?" he asked before actually coming over to look. When he looked at the screen, he actually laughed softly. "Of all the places…" he whispered.

"You'll be leaving from the exact same spot that you were standing in when you first came here," said Ianto. The two men shared a small smile at the irony.

"I guess my time here really is over," said John quietly. "I never thought that the end would literally be where I started from."

Ianto gave him a curious look before he nodded. "Take this with you," he said, strapping a digital watch onto his wrist and setting the stopwatch function. "So you know how much time you have."

John watched and laughed flatly. "Always with the stopwatch, isn't it?" He straightened his shoulders and looked Ianto directly in the eye. "Look, Ianto, I'm not stupid. I know that you -"

"I don't agree with what you're doing, no," replied Ianto, his own posture stiffening. "I think you're leaving behind the friends and family who care about you and who want to be there for you. That being said, I know you've made your decision and I can't change it."

John felt his jaw tighten. "Actually, I could not give the tiniest little _shit_ what you, or anyone else for that matter, might think about my decision. You're right, it is my decision to make, and no one else's. What I was _actually_ going to say was that I know you and I, to put it mildly, haven't always had the easiest relationship, but over the last few years, it has been a…well, it's been good." That had not exactly been what he had wanted to say, but the brief smile and the understanding in Ianto's eyes told him that the message had been received and understood. He nodded and cleared his throat, muttering, "Take care, Eye Candy," as he walked out of the tourist office and across the Plass for the last time.

* * *

_7:50pm…_

Catrin, predictably, did not take John's refusal to be her baby's godfather well. He had already known she wouldn't, even before she had started asking questions, right when her eyes narrowed and she quickly sent the children out of the room with David. Now, she was turning the full force of her most potent glare onto John, almost daring him to tell her exactly why he was rejecting her offer. He eventually decided on the truth, or at least a version of it.

"This isn't about you, Catrin," he said, forcing himself not to flinch away from her hard eyes. "i know that's a cliche, but it's true. It's…this is just something I have to do."

"Something you have to do." Catrin laughed without a hint of humor. "Come on, we both know exactly what that means." She grabbed his arm, her fingertips digging into his wrist. "I know you're grieving and I understand, but this? Leaving behind all the people you care about? Those poor children who love you as if you're their own father? Is that really what you want?"

"I never said this was a decision I made lightly or easily," said John, uncomfortably aware that he was lying through his teeth. "I don't want to hurt anyone any more than they already have been, least of all those kids. But this is someting that I know I have to do. And," he turned his arm so that his hand was now holding hers, "you might not believe this, but I am doing it for all of you - so that I can keep all of you safe and happy. Please, Cat, you know I wouldn't do this if I didn't have to. Can you at least try to understand that this really is for the best?"

Catrin sighed, but did not drop her hand. "I'm not sure I'll ever be able to understand you. Every time I think I've managed it, you somehow turn it all around and surprise all of us." She managed a weak smile, though her eyes still looked angry. "I probably know the answer to this already, but…are any of us likely to see you again?"

 _If you do, it won't be this me, unless something's gone very badly wrong,_ John thought to himself, but instead he only smiled and shrugged. "One never truly knows what might happen."

* * *

_8:15pm…_

"I saw you coming," said Dan, folding his arms and leaning against the building he had apparently been waiting outside. "I had a feeling you didn't have a lot of time." He raised his eyebrows as he took in John's face. "I take it your sister-in-law wasn't too thrilled with your decision?"

"That's one way of putting it." As John had suspected, Catrin had seen right through his flimsy line about how you never really knew what could happen in the future, and had made no attempts to hide her displeasure about it. "But I've made up my mind, so if you're here to try and talk me out of it or stop me, you can save your breath and let me say my piece, thanks."

Dan shrugged. "I wasn't. I know you've made your choice and why you're doing this. I can't say that I particularly like it, or that I'd necessarily do the same thing, but I do understand."

"I'm not entirely sure that you do, but thanks anyway. It's good to know that there's one person here who isn't going to try and talk me out of it, no matter how much they might want to."

With a small smile, John reached into the inside of his jacket and pulled out the book he had been carrying with him. "I thought you'd remember this," he said, hearing Dan's gasp of shock as he took it in. "Maybe, when the kids are a bit older, you could read it to them, or even pass it onto them. Either way, I'm sure Nick would have wanted you to have it."

"John, I," Dan seemed briefly lost for words as he flipped through the book, blinking hard as he seemed to get caught up in his thoughts. "I'll…I'll treasure it, always," he finally choked out as he looked up, his eyes damp and slightly glassy. "And…thank you for making him so happy."

John shook his head. "It really isn't something you should thank me for," he said. "It was a privilege to have the chance to do it."  
  


* * *

_8:59pm…_

As the memories faded away, and he found himself back on the roof watching the rain starting to fall over Cardiff, John was, for the first time, filled with an overwhelming sense of peace and a knowledge that he was definitely doing the right thing. He watched as the sky in front of him started to shimmer and wave slightly, knowing that he had only seconds left, just enough time for one last look over the city that he had once called home. His hand closed around the small dragon pendant that he still wore around his neck and smiled, letting the rain fall onto his face, mixing with his tears.

_Thank you. Thank you for saving me, for giving me another chance. I'm just glad I didn't waste it._

Already, he could see the golden sparks of energy starting to coalesce around him, drawing him closer The alarm on his stopwatch suddenly trilled and he swallowed, stepping forwards to the edge of the roof, allowing the increasing energy to consume him and take him over. He supposed he should have been afraid, but he wasn't. This felt almost liberating to him now, in a way that it hadn't before. But more than that, it felt right, as though his time had come.

As the view in front of him started to disappear, he closed his eyes and gave himself up, smiling as he felt the tears fall over his face where they almost instantly dried. He knew this part of his life was over, knew what was about to come, knew that there was only one thing left to say.

"Goodbye."

_THE END._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew! Thank you to everyone who stuck with me on this rollercoaster ride! I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did, even if I did have several moments of wanting to beat my head into a wall. It's been amazing, frustrating and, actually, fascinating. Thank you! xxx


End file.
